Chasing Perfection
by Nessie23Black
Summary: Renesmee spends the summer with her Grandfather...Too bad fate will step in and takeover with UNRULY CONSEQUENCES...Rated M: Sexual Humor, Sexual Content, Violence, and things I can't say without ruining the plot line...XXLEMONSXX...A/H...READ IT!
1. Insomniac

***First off, I'd like to apologize if you read the last Author's Note of "In Nessie's Eyes." I stated that "Chasing Perfection" would be uploaded on January 1****st**** of 2011. I didn't revise it before I uploaded it. I apologize with extreme sincerity—but if you have absolutely no clue as to what I'm saying than..FORGET IT ALL!**

***Welcome to the first chapter of CP. I cannot wait to hear any of your questions and/or reviews. I'm in love with this story. I will try to upload a fresh chapter every two weeks just to keep you on your toes. Maybe I'll shock you and make it a shorter upload than that if I get super excited about the next chapter.**

***Of course, I do not own any of the Twilight Saga. I am neither brilliant nor fantastically creative like the stunning Stephenie Meyer. Do not sue me.**

***All of this story came from my brain. If this feels like it is similar to anything you've ever seen, that's merely coincidence. I try to be as creative as possible.**

***Most of this story—everyone's actions and/or sayings—are based from real-life incidents with my real-life friends (ultimatetwihard513, mostly.)…I'll let you guess which experiences I deal with on a daily basis, though…**

***ENJOY! (I apologize for the large note)**

**~PrincessNessie23**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Preface:**I had been told all my life that I needed to keep an uplifting perspective on life. I was told that no one was ever _normal_. I had always been told that being perfect wasn't a choice, because a _choice_ meant I had options—and I had never had options. I was told being perfect was lifestyle. I had been brought up thinking that the only way to have perfection was to be positive. So this was my way of being _perfect…_

**Ch. 1: Insomniac**

**Renesmee-POV**

It was practically calling my name. The chilled air was begging for me to taste it upon my lips…as I for it.

I needed out. I couldn't stand it anymore. I felt like I was being suffocated and I couldn't exactly pinpoint why…

I fumbled around the weakly lit room trying to find the outfit I had laid out the evening before, but my vision became distorted for only half a second and instead of one shadowy bed, I saw two. I blinked and my eyes cleared as fast as they had blurred together. I shook my head, held my chin up high and grabbed my bag.

I slid easily through my bedroom door shutting it softly behind me and I descended the staircase as if I were a mouse hoping I wouldn't get caught in the rat trap…or, you know, getting caught in general. Because that was the last thing I needed. I didn't need anyone to wake up and see me up at four fifty-eight in the morning asking questions. It wasn't their business…well, I guessed it kind of was, but, did anything really ever matter anymore?

I stood alone in the foyer with my hand on the brass doorknob. I stood there for only a few moments contemplating: What was I doing? Why did I want out so badly?

Ever since my parents had moved to Forks, Washington, I had been forced to go with them or to do what they'd told me to do. It was always the same crap. _Eat your squash and broccoli! Wait to go swimming an hour after you eat! Don't stick that fork in the light socket!_

I was nine when they decided that we'd leave the only place I had ever known. They never thought of what I wanted. They were too caught up in themselves or their jobs or their _lust_ to ever really care what I would do. My parents didn't even mind that they took me from my friends or my life or my grandpa, whom I loved very much.

My parents never cared.

That was when I realized: What the hell did it matter to them or even myself what I was doing?

I sighed, not wanting to risk any more of my valuable time, and turned the knob as far as it would turn.

It felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off of me as I saw a soft mist cover over the early morning floor. I smiled and bit my lip slowly basking in my triumph. It was over.

Right?

I couldn't remember if I had a plan or not, so I wasn't too sure on what was to be done next. _Stay positive_, my conscience advised.

_Fine. I'll be positive for a change. _I thought. _How hard can that be?_

I mean, I was positive that I didn't have any emergency items if I were to get lost, such as a compass or map or even a damn phone which I had inconveniently left on the charger in my room. I was positive that I didn't have my wallet filled so much with cash it would explode to buy a bus ticket and get as far away from this hellhole of a town as soon as possible. I was positive that I didn't have any friends in a car down the road waiting for me to get strategically away. I was positive that… I was alone.

The sun was covered by the clouds, which only made the day look darker than it truly needed to be—unnecessary gloom. It was a fearsome sight actually.

I played with something around my wrist as I watched the wind blow the creaky swing sets of the old deserted park. The slide was old and completely covered in rust. I was sure that it looked much better at one time before the hoodlums of the city had graffitied it up. I looked down at the cracked sidewalk beneath my feet. The moss had been covering it up slowly over the years. The weeping willows branches waved as a sudden gust of wind brushed past them. My bronze hair draped across my face.

I didn't need to be out here. It was dangerous. Things happen to people when they weren't prepared. Things happened to people who didn't have plans. Things happened to people that weren't positive. Things happened to people who were…me.

I sucked in a deep breath and turned around—

_Your parents are going to miss you terribly after tonight. _A voice sounded before me. I stopped cold. I blinked and tried to focus on what was before my eyes.

There she was again. I'd recognize the voice alone anywhere. I called her: "the frozen ice queen", because she truly looked _frozen_. She was etched into to the wind, like a cold nightmare. Her ice white hair flowed all around her head as if she were upside down almost. Her pale blue eyes beamed at me. It wasn't her normal happy face/ sad face routine either. No, this was more. Much more.

_Don't you think? _She spoke the words around the glowing air she had brought with her.

"I'm not running away." I whispered, half to her, half to myself.

_That's not what I mean. _Her transparent body quivered and the wind swirled around her carrying her to my side. _They love you. _I rolled my eyes. She placed her feather light hand upon my shoulder. _If you love them, you will not leave them. _

"I told you," I could feel the acid in my voice. "I am not leaving them."

It was as if she had read my mind in the next second. She shifted herself in front of me and I could actually feel her nails dig into my arms. _You cannot run from who you are! _Her shrieked almost shattered my eardrums, but I couldn't unlock her invisible, vice-tight grip to cover my ears.

I screamed back, "The only thing I'm trying to run away from is _you_!"

I yanked her away from me and broke into a run, heading west, putting some remoteness between me and…her highness. She would never leave me alone. She always made me feel scared and hollow inside.

_I am only trying to protect you, Renesmee! _She shouted, causing my heart to throb.

Panting, I looked behind me to see how far I had sprinted away—

And I saw him—a profound silhouette in the woods, leaning creepily against an old oak. This time, I knew, _he_ was real.

He was maybe thirty yards from me, wearing a dark t-shirt and maybe jeans. (The reflexive part (otherwise known as, The Chick Side) of me was wondering why he was wearing something so summer-like—but the other (the Instinctive Side) decided that it would probably be a fantastic idea to run the hell away as quick as humanly possible.)

Running away—Yeah, that was pointless—because the exact moment I had even acknowledged his stalker-like existence, he was on my trail. Running like a deer after it had just been shot at.

Until that moment, I didn't gather anyone could feel the fear that I felt. My veins felt like someone had poured ice water throughout my unsteady body. I pushed myself as hard as I could force myself to go. I didn't scream—there was no point. None. Because I had made the mother of all idiot decision's to leave home and it looked like it would be my last.

I could hear his footfalls, snapping and crunching branches. He was getting closer.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. Branches tore holes in my shirt and I was positive that my side was bleeding. Limbs snagged my curls. I stumbled over a stump and I bit my tongue, hard, but I didn't stop running. He was even nearer to me now, too near. I tried to go faster, but couldn't.

"AHH!" I choked as he tackled me to the ground. Rocks slammed into my back and cold mud smeared across me. "PLEASE! Don't! Not AGAIN—!"His warm hand closed over my mouth. My eyes were suddenly clouded with tears and it was impossible to get a view.

Was this what _she _meant? Was she trying to tell me my death was coming and I would never see my parents ever again? For once…she was right…and _trying to save me—_She knew this was going to happen and…I had ignored her.

I screamed beneath his hand and tried to pry him off me. "_Shut_ _up_, Nessie." He roughly whispered. "Shut up, or we both die."

I was so confused, but I nodded and he removed his hand.

"What are you talking about—"a gun shot from the trees behind us, and in the next second, my newfound defender howled in pain—

"And then I wake up." At that moment, I looked up at my aunt. Her name was Alice and she didn't treat me as if I were a lunatic ready to be locked up. Because, truth be told, she really knew what I was going through. Though what she saw were "premonitions" of the future…

"_Like, you're a psychic or something?" I had once asked her._

"_Similar enough," she had admitted quietly._

I had once thought it really cool. Now, as I am much older (eight and a half years older), I know the full blown truth about what she was put though. She had been institutionalized when she was younger for them. Her mother cried every night over watching her daughter suffer, and her father turned his back on my beautiful aunt, never wanting to see her again. She had cried as she had told me the story. Which had made me secretly scared with…what would happen to me?

"_No need to worry, Renesmee." She had told me another time. "They are just dreams—not at all similar to what I have experienced." And then she had made me smile when she had said "Just dream about the answers of a Literature test." Then she had laughed._

Aunt Alice put her tiny hand on my own and looked me in the eyes. "You know I can never promise that they will leave in time. This particular dream is one you have been having since you were nine years old. So, I'm sure it can't mean much." She paused, and then she whispered softly, "Have you seen…?"

I knew who she meant. "Awake?" she nodded. "No. Not since the last time." I admitted as quiet as she had asked.

"What did she say then?" she was speaking even lower now. Clearly, she was just as uncomfortable as I was.

"'_Time is slowing to a stop. So remember, things are never what they seem.'"_ We were both silent for a few minutes. I could see that both Aunt Alice and I had goose bumps. I was sure she was quiet because she was trying to decipher the words of my "twisted angel". I was silent because—like so many other times before—to decode what I was told.

"I wonder what she meant by that." She closed her eyes and then opened them slowly with a shrill smile. "Well, off to school, my little Renesmee." She laughed. "I guess you're not _little _any longer. You're going to be a big bad senior after the summer." She hugged me.

"Thanks, again, for staying with me." I said as we pulled apart. Aunt Alice had only been staying with me since Thursday until tomorrow. My mom and dad—Bella and Edward Cullen—were at an emergency symposium in San Diego. Something about an unfeasible tumor on a nine year old from Batswana—bless his little soul—and the little boy's parents basically begged my parents to go, because they wanted the most _prestigious_. Apparently, a doctor's work is never done.

"No problem, kiddo, but I'm sure Jazz has probably been living on Cocoa Puffs and barbecue since I left. He would've come to Forks, of course, but somebody needed to take care of Galveston." She giggled. Galveston was my Uncle Jasper's horse. My aunt and my uncle lived in Texas. Houston, to be exact.

"But," she sang and pushed my bronze bangs from my eyes. "You know that they wouldn't want to miss your departure, but, hey, when duty calls…"

"Yeah." Was all I said.

"Have fun on your last day of school." I heard her sing on my way out the front door.

"Hence, me flashing four guys." One of my best friends, Victoria Hittmen, was explaining her latest scandal in homeroom. She did this regularly. This whole debacle went down every week. It was always something a bit... "flashy".

My parents didn't really approve of Victoria, because she's "a bad influence for me". Even more so, they just thought she was a read headed slut…which wasn't necessarily _too_ far from the truth and she didn't even deny it when you referred to her as one.

"You have got to be kidding me, right? You didn't." My other best friend, Bree Hart, looked at V with a disapproving face.

"Hell yeah, I did!" Then she whispered. "I think I even saw one rubbing himself in a tantalizing movement." She laughed and Bree groaned—in the least sexual way possible.

Bree was the one my parents _really_ liked. They always invited her over for dinner, or to spend the night with me, or to just chill. They really just trusted her. She didn't smoke like Victoria. She didn't drink like Victoria. She rarely ever cussed like Victoria, and best of all Bree never had one night stands with random wildlife trainers that wore leather pants and played with his iguana…like Victoria.

It was like she had read my mind when Victoria smacked my arm.

"Ow," I muttered lifelessly and then looked up at her. "What was that for?"

"I have just ensued hilarity and…What? No comment?" I didn't say anything. She smacked me again and I slapped her back. "See now we're getting somewhere. The train is on the tracks." She shouted loudly and stood on her knees in her desk pretending to lasso me. "All aboard!" Everyone was staring.

"_Shut up. _" I growled and rubbed my forehead. I was beginning to receive a human induced migraine. She sat back down correctly and leaned closer to my face.

"Your eyes aren't bloodshot. Which means you didn't get into your parents liquor cabinet." She paused. "Again." I rolled my eyes at her. She studied me for a few more seconds. "You aren't glowing, so you aren't preggers." Then, it clicked. "You had that dream again?" Luckily, she whispered that. I would rather everyone think I was hung over or maybe even pregnant than for them to know about…_her._ Her face was really sympathetic. "Babe, I am so sorry. I've been a jackass all morning." She hugged me.

"Are you afraid?" Bree whispered to me.

"No." I nearly shouted. They jumped and looked at each other. I shook my head. "Sorry, guys. I'm just tired of everyone whispering about this. If _she _knows I'm scared, she'll do something with that. I haven't seen her in almost a month and she catches me when I'm off my guard. So," I looked up towards the ceiling. "If you're listening, please leave me alone."

"Shhhh." Victoria couldn't have been any more serious with what came out of her mouth next. "You might anger her, and I'm sure the last thing you want to do is have an angry monster after you."

I scoffed. "Wouldn't want that would we?"

They both leaned back in their desk and didn't say another word after that.

After 3rd period was over, I left my friends to go to my locker. That was when my whole day brightened. As I opened my locker, a small envelope fell to the ground. It was face up and I saw the front of it. "My Little Ren" written in gorgeous cursive. I smiled and picked it up. I opened it and the letter read:

_Happy last day of school, baby! _

_I've just finished my final exam. Which led me to thinking, we should celebrate after school. Just you and I. My parents are away at that conference thing in San Diego, which only means one thing: SO ARE YOURS! _

_Well, I guess that could mean two things…_

I rolled my eyes, smiling.

_So, anyway, I've been thinking of you, beautiful, and that truthfully led me thinking to your amazing body, only reminding me that I really, really, REALLY don't want you to leave me this summer. I'm going to be so lonely without my amazing girlfriend… Ah well, I guess I can't really talk you out of it, considering you haven't seen your grandfather in a long while._

_Just remember, YOU'RE MY GIRL…_

_Loving you,_

_Nahuel_

I smiled and kissed the letter. _He is _such_ an amazing boyfriend. _I thought. Such.

Nahuel did this every day. I had over two-hundred letters from him at home. I kept them in a Nike shoebox under my bed. I took them with me everywhere I went. They would always sit right beside me on a plane when we flew to Italy or to Rio de Janeiro or to my Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose's mansion in Paris. My Dad always questioned why I did that and I simply shrugged, "Love."

"Uh-oh," I heard Bree and Victoria's voices from behind me. I turned around and looked at them. They both had extremely lame grins and were nudging each other in the ribs. "Is that _another_ lust letter I see?" Victoria reached for it and I pulled back.

"Yes, and it's the last one I will ever receive. So, no touch."

"Puh-leeze." Victoria rolled her eyes.

"It _is_. " I defended myself. "This is Nahuel's last year at Forks High and we won't see each other all summer, so _ha_."

"So…?" Bree sighed. "What'd he say?" she looked at me expecting an answer. "Come on, Renesmee, if we can't read it then you have to at least say what it says."

"He told me he was going to miss me."

"That's it?" Bree snorted.

"Ish." I shrugged.

"Well, _we're _going to miss you the most." Victoria concluded.

"Yeah." Bree agreed.

I ignored them and they watched my face fall into a frown. "I don't know about this, guys." I shoved my books in my locker.

They gasped. "What do you mean?" Bree nearly shouted. "You guys are _perfect_ for each other—"

"No." I interrupted her sarcasm. "I'm talking about this summer. I have this _feeling_…and not to mention an angry monster hanging over my head." I sighed. "I'm just worried is all."

"You're just _whacked_ is all." Victoria punched my shoulder. "You wanna know what you sound like right now? This is the sound that comes out of your face." Then she started doing an awful interpretation of me. It went a little something like this: "Wah-wah! I'm Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I have a rockin' body and my parents are known worldwide wide and, did I mention? I'm having sex with my super sexy senior boyfriend, Nahuel Medeiros—captain of the football team, senior, co-captain of the debate team, senior, student body president, and did I mention _senior_?" she paused then bowed.

"Nicely done." Bree applauded.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my Biology book, shoving it my messenger bag. "I sound nothing like that."

"Yeah you do." They said at the same time.

"Really?" My eyes went wide.

"Yeah," Victoria shrugged. "but all girls are bitches from time to time."

"Okay, now we're just getting way off subject." Bree brought us back down to earth. "R, weren't you saying something before Present Day Shakespeare over here—" she jabbed a thumb towards Victoria "—interrupted you."

Yeah. "No. I'm not sure."

"Let me refresh your memory: You were speaking of how you might breakup with Nahuel?"

"No, I wasn't! I was saying that I had a bad feeling about the summer. Don't go twisting my words, Bree, just because you don't like Nahuel!" I shouted at her.

"Listen, R," She held up her hands. "I never said—aloud—I didn't like Medeiros, it's just I don't think that he's too great of a guy for _you._"

"What is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to tell me you want my boyfriend?"

"Hell no!" Obviously, she meant that; Bree never cussed. "I'm just explaining that you need somebody who isn't just a _special_ buddy. You need a prince who will come save you in the darkest of nights riding on his silver steed… I just don't see Nahuel as your prince, the way you seem to." She was so calm. My heart was pounding. I loved Nahuel. Nahuel loved me. We were going to spend our whole lives with one another. We were going to have a fairy tale ending like in the story books. That was all I'd ever wanted…

We stood there for a few seconds staring at each other. "I love him." I whispered.

"Do you really?"

The following second, I almost peed in my pants. The warning bell rang and it felt like it was inside my head. I swallowed loudly.

"See you after Spanish." Bree said and walked around me. Victoria shrugged and followed her.

"How was that?" I heard Bree ask Victoria down the hall.

"Amazing." Victoria answered. "When the hell did you grow a backbone?"

I sat in the desk in Spanish playing with my fingers thinking about what Bree said.

"What the hell do they think they know?" I mumbled to myself. An angelic voice answered, _They are your best friends. They only want what is best for you. _I looked up. I thought I would be able to see her, but her sweet singing remained only in my head. I closed my eyes and focused on her soft sound. _ Just think, they would only be friends if they didn't want the best for you. They have earned the title. They love you, but only want you to be happy…_

"Little Ren." An accented voice filled the whole room. I knew this one. I knew if I opened my eyes, I would be able to see him. I turned in my desk and looked towards the backdoor…

There he was—my handsome boyfriend, Nahuel. He was gesturing for me to follow him. Class hadn't started yet, and the teacher wasn't there yet. So I figured now would be the perfect time. I smiled and got up from my desk and nearly ran him into the lockers. I grabbed him by the collar of his light blue polo shirt and pulled his face to mine. I smiled and he kissed me.

"Hello, my little Ren." Nahuel's Latin voice made my heart shiver. It was amazing.

"I got your lust letter of the day." I closed my eyes and kissed his soft lips.

"So…your place or mine?" he mumbled against my mouth.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes. "Um, not tonight." I whispered apologetically.

"What do you mean? You're leaving tomorrow, are you not?" his green eyes showed some emotion I had never seen on his face before. They were just suddenly…indifferent.

"Yeah, I am…" I said slowly, measuring his expression. "It's just my Aunt Alice is staying with me until I leave—"He quieted me with another kiss.

"Your family loves me." He whispered as he put his fingers under chin. "Do you really think that anyone would mind if I came over?"

I thought about that as his lips traveled my neck…my jaw…a teasing kiss by the corner of my mouth…

I giggled. "I guess not…but Victoria and Bree are going to come over to spend the night and help pack at around four…"

"Mmmm…" he kissed me again. He was _very_ persuasive.

"Well…maybe I could tell them six…" he nibbled at my ear a bit. "thirty?"

"Sounds better. That would give us enough time to—"

"Miss Cullen. Mr. Medeiros." A familiar, yet stern voice cleared his throat. We both turned our heads—and lips—away from one another to Principal Greene.

"Hi, Principal Greene." I said quietly.

"Hello, Miss Cullen." He looked between Nahuel and me, and then looked down to my fists around Nahuel's collar. I pulled them away slowly and smoothed out Nahuel's shirt. "Mr. Medeiros, what would you think Senora Goff would do when she found her prize student not in her class? What is Mr. Banner going to say when he sees you aren't in your seat when the bell rings?" he waited for Nahuel's answer.

"I should be going now?"

Principal Greene nodded. "Good idea, Mr. Medeiros."

Nahuel smiled. "Yes, sir." Before Nahuel left, he kissed my lips once more briefly. "See you after school." He whispered to me.

Nahuel walked passed Principal Greene, who had a soft smile playing on his lips, and I was about to go back into the classroom until I saw Principal Greene smiling at me. I felt a little awkward for a few moments, but then he completely screwed me over when he said, "You must be one lucky girl for Nahuel to not accept early admissions to Princeton."

Nahuel and I were sitting on the couch. My head was on his chest as he flipped through the channels on the living room TV. Aunt Alice was lounging by the pool in the backyard reading another new vampire book—this one was called _Twilight; _She kept trying to persuade me to read it and said it was a "series with an odd fictional love story". But I had simply told her "why would I read fictional love in a fictional world, if I could just have real love in a real world?" She had just rolled her eyes at the time.

"I heard that _The Notebook _was playing at four-thirty on ABC…" I said, trying to get him to stop going through all seven-thousand channels. He was in the two-hundreds at the moment.

"_The_ _Notebook_?" he looked at me. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." I smiled a little goofy. "I love it."

"That movie," he started. "would _never_ happen to anyone in real life. It's sappy and delusional. The guy who wrote it has to be a complete moron for getting women's hopes up about men having high expectations."

My face dropped and I stared at him. "You're joking right? Nicolas Sparks is a mastermind. Every book of his books make, like, a million dollars. That guy is a genius." I argued.

"They're depressingly horrible in each their own way."

"Sorry, Nahuel but I don't really support your opinion." I said quietly.

"Someone dies in every book. Call me crazy, but that would bring me down a bit, just slightly."

I huffed and let it go, knowing good and well this fight wasn't about the movie. Nahuel always needed that last word or we would be going on for hours.

"Sorry, Little Ren." he kissed my hair. "I just don't understand why you like _The No—_"

"Why didn't you tell me about Princeton, Nahuel?"

"W-what?" I had never heard his Latin voice stutter. His words always came out correctly.

"I had almost a fifteen minute talk with Principal Greene after you walked off. He said that you didn't accept early admissions—"

"But did he tell you why?"

"Yes… but it's an extremely stupid reason."

"What? It's a stupid reason to want to stay with my girlfriend?"

"Yes, it is. An _extremely_ stupid reason. I must have not told you, but I'm leaving tomorrow. For the whole summer or did you forget?"

"I didn't forget. How could I forget something as important as you leaving me?" He growled.

That sounded harsh, which made me feel like I shrank one foot. "It's just a few months." I whispered. "Not very long when you really think about it."

"You're still going." He snarled at me. "Halfway. Across. The. World. The other side of the United States!" He stood up, knocking me against the sofa.

"What are you doing? Where are you going? Please sit back down. Nahuel." I was worried now.

"I'm leaving. I thought I'd do it before you left me." And with that, he was gone.

"He's just angry right now. He'll get over it." Bree assured me, patting my knee. As much as she hated Nahuel, she knew when kindness was due. She was going to make a good mom one day. Unlike Victoria.

"Screw him." Was her advice. I wasn't so sure about her nurturing skills…

I had called her and Victoria right after Nahuel had left. I laid across my bed upside down. My bronze hair touched down to the floor. "Thanks, V." I muttered.

Then I heard an arm get smacked. "What?" Victoria angrily whispered.

"Just letting you know that you suck at advice." Bree whispered back with a shrug.

I was pretty sure that was Victoria's cue to roll her eyes. I looked up at my wall clock. 9:38, it read. I sat up at and pushed myself up onto my feet.

I shook my head. "it's almost ten and I haven't even started packing yet."

"We'll help." They both offered.

"Fine." I stood there for a minute. "How the _hell_ do you pack for a three month trip?" I shouted.

We finished packing at around 3:30. I packed over at least a hundred shirts: daytime, nighttime, pajamas, and work out sweats. I packed over seventy different pairs of jeans: capris, boot cut, flare, skinny, light colored, dark colored, daisy dukes…

"_Daisy dukes are southern, right?" I had asked them._

"_Definitely." They had answered._

I threw myself onto my king-sized bed. "Oh. My. Gandhi. I have never packed so much in my entire life."

"Can you get blisters from denim?" Bree asked looking at her hands.

"Maybe." Victoria mumbled. "But that wouldn't be the right place to get them," she paused. "Or maybe so, I'm not too sure if you can get them on your hands _that_ way—"she stopped her train of thought and laughed. "No, wait…Yeah…you can." She said through laughs. The words didn't really make sense because she was tired, but just _knowing_ Victoria's perverted mind…

"So…" I spoke up. "V, how's James doing?" James was Victoria's boyfriend of three and a half years. He was a high school dropout, but now, at twenty-four years old, the guy was a drug dealer who just got drunk and hoped the cops would never find him…

"He's _amazing_—"

"Not like that, moron." I hit her with a pillow.

"Oh… then he's okay. He's staying at a motel in downtown Seattle. I was there a few days ago. I called him last night; we're meeting Sunday at his palace."

"I would hardly call that STD of a stay a _palace."_

"Whatever." She laughed. "It's private." Then she gasped, "Bree!"

Bree jumped. "What!"

"James' friend just broke up with his girl. So…this guy is totally unattached. He actually _finished _high school and is in his second year of college…" she nudged Bree. "Eh? Eh, eh?"

"Oh, _heck no!_" Bree squealed. "You are _so _not setting me up with another freak!" she punched V's arm.

"Please, I'm not that horrible at picking guys out for you." V defended herself.

"Oh, really? Remember the animal trainer with one eye who walked with a cane?" Bree folded her arms.

"Hey, that wasn't _technically _my fault. When he asked if he could bring his snake, I just thought he was being kinky."

Then we all laughed.

"Are you sure you want to leave us?" Victoria whined from the back seat of my car on the way to the airport. Bree was there, too, in the passenger seat. Aunt Alice told me good bye at the house. My parents called me this morning, too. I promised that I would call them as soon as I made it safely to the airport in Atlanta. That was where my Grandpa Charlie was going to pick me up.

"No." I admitted. "But, I have to. I haven't seen my Grandpa since I was nine. I hate to admit it but, I miss South Carolina." I shrugged. "I barely remember it and I hate that."

"So, where does your Grandpa live exactly?" Bree wondered.

"Wagener."

"Where's that?"

"Right outside of Aiken. He's kinda the chief of police for Aiken County."

"Are you nervous?" Victoria rested her chin on my seat.

"Kinda."

"You don't like your grandpa?" Bree asked.

"Of course I like my grandpa…it's just that I don't know much about him. I mean, I know that he owns a private farm, but that's about it."

"What about your grandma?"

"Never met her. I was kind of a secret birth. My mom had me when she was nineteen—I've never told you that?" They shook their heads. I shrugged. "Musta slipped my mind…"

"So, why are you all of a sudden going to South Carolina? You've lasted this long without being there. Why now?"

"I started getting…" I swallowed. "I started _seeing_ her after…"

"You left?" she finished for me.

I nodded. "I'm going back to see if she leaves me alone."

Bree nodded, but Victoria said something I hadn't even thought of yet. "…and what if she does?"

"What do you mean?"

"If she leaves you alone because you go to South Carolina…" she closed her eyes.

I realized what she was saying. "I'm not staying for the rest of my life, Victoria. I'm not leaving you guys."

"but you might?"

"no chance."

Then Bree whispered, "Do you think there's a reason she wants you in South Carolina?"

We were all quiet then.

"She controls you sometimes." She continued. "Have you ever noticed? Like, yesterday in homeroom. V said something… naturally disturbing and if _you _were all there, your socks would have been knocked off. It's like when you see her, she takes… a piece of your…Renesmee-ness."

I thought about that. "When we moved to Forks," I chose my words carefully. "to the big white house, it was a historical place that costed over a million dollars. People always assumed it was haunted, so I thought my parents were idiots. When the movers unpacked the boxes from the van and put them in the living room I started picking out my things. I remember walking up the stairs feeling like I was in slow motion. 

"I walked into my room and shut the door…" I sighed. "That was the first time I saw her."

They were both frozen.

"She was hovering over the floor; her feet inches off the ground. To this day, she still wears the same clothes I first met her in. She doesn't age… She doesn't change.

"The first thing she ever said to me was:_ Turn around. You don't realize what your missing." _It was like I could hear her voice right in my head.

Then Victoria said, "Maybe it was some kind of creepy, sexual innuendo your adolescent mind overlooked."

Bree rolled her eyes. "Maybe, just maybe, she really needs you in South Carolina…Everything happens for a reason."

Victoria gasped. "Dude! What if this chick was murdered! Maybe she wants you to solve her mystery! Ya know, like, all those Lifetime movies. People see dead people and then after they solve everything… they just stop, like it never happened."

"I doubt it." I mumbled.

"I think we got them all." Bree clasped her hands together in the airport lobby.

"I would hope so." I laughed at all my giant suitcases and carry on.

"They better_._" Victoria smiled. "Or you're screwed."

We laughed.

"Email us every day." Bree hugged me.

"Promise." I hugged her back.

"We're gonna miss ya, Cullen." Victoria hugged me, too.

"I'm going to miss—"As I looked over Victoria's shoulder, I noticed someone familiar. He was waiting there for me. His head was leaned back against the wall and his eyes were closed. I couldn't help but smiling when I saw the bouquet of roses in his lap. "Nahuel?"

"Awww. Thanks." Victoria muttered. "But I'm _Vic-tor-ia_."

"No, idiot." I pulled away. "I mean it's Nahuel." I pointed at him. "Be right back."

I walked away from them. Their expressions were puzzled, as was mine. I reached him slowly. As I got closer to him, I nudged him with my foot. "Nahuel?" I whispered. I nudged him once more. "Nahuel." I said louder. Nothing. "Nahuel!" I shouted.

His body jerked up and he was on his feet, holding the bouquet to me. His eyes were drooping and he blinked them over and over as they focused in on me. A strange look crossed his face. I couldn't quite figure it out, but I'd never seen it before. "Little Ren?" his voice cracked. Then a hasty smile came as he looked at me. "Little Ren!" he hugged me. It was an awkward feeling at first and then I hugged him back.

"Hi…" I mumbled slowly. "I wasn't…expecting to…see you here." He let go of me and kissed my lips roughly. "I, um, didn't think you'd…I mean—after yesterday—" he put a finger to my lips.

"All is forgotten." He whispered tiredly. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept all night.

"What time did you get here? You look rough." I spoke over his finger.

He removed it slowly and looked at his Rolex. "Six-thirty?"

"In the morning?" It was one right now.

He laughed. "Yes, Little Ren. I, um," he paused. "needed to apologize for my behavior. I was rude and it was an unforgivable action." He shook his head, ashamed.

"I _can_ forgive you, Nahuel." I wrapped my arms around him.

"You can?" he asked bluntly.

"Yeah? Do you not want me to?" I was confused now.

"No, no, no, Little Ren. Of course I want you to forgive me. You're my girl, remember? "

"I remember." I smiled.

"Well then here," he handed me the bouquet. He looked like he was unsure about something.

"Am I missing something here, Nahuel?" I questioned and he looked embarrassed.

He cleared his throat. "No, you are missing nothing. Um, it's just, er," He sighed. "I love you."

I tensed up. That was the first time he had ever said that to me. I didn't know how to respond.

"You don't love me back?" he smiled at my expression and pulled me into his arms. I nodded. "You do?"

"Yeah!" I squeaked. "I love you back, Nahuel." I couldn't breathe right. I could feel Bree and Victoria glaring at me from behind my back. I didn't care though.

"Have fun on your little trip." He kissed me again. "You will email me, no?"

"Yeah, I will." I smiled. "I promise." I nodded; it felt like my neck was having a spazz attack. "As soon as I get there."

I grabbed my bags and took them where they needed to be and waved goodbye to the ones I'd miss the most over the summer…


	2. Surprises, Big Dogs, and BEEYOTCHES!

***THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I READ EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM AND I OBSERVED YOUR PROFILE/FAVORITE STORIES OR YOUR STORIES…AAAWWWWLLLLLLL OF YOU! EVERYONE!**

***I HAVE BEEN SOOOOOO ANXIOUS TO UPLOAD CHAPTER 2. IT'S ONE OF THE LONGER CHAPTERS OF CP AND ONE OF THE MOST FACT-FILLED WITH THINGS THAT WILL BE IMPORTANT IN THE FUTURE CHAPTERS…SO PAY ATTENTION! **

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

***OOHH! I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE FOR CHAPTER 1. I INTENDED THERE TO BE BREAKS IN BETWEEN A FEW OF THE PARAGRAPHS. FOR CHAPTER 2, I'VE BROKEN THEM UP. AN EXAMPLE: _/CHASINGPERFECTION/_**

***ENJOY!**

**Chasing********Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

"You don't love me back?" he smiled at my expression and pulled me into his arms. I nodded. "You do?"

"Yeah! Of course, I do!" I squeaked. "I love you back, Nahuel." I couldn't breathe right. I could feel Bree and Victoria glaring at me from behind my back. I didn't care...

"Have fun on your little trip." He kissed me again. "You will email me, no?"

"Yeah, I will." I smiled. "I promise." I nodded; it felt like my neck was having a spazz attack. "As soon as I get there."

I grabbed my bags and took them where they needed to be and waved goodbye to the ones I'd miss the most over the summer…

**Ch. 2: Surprises, Bee-yotches, and Big Dogs…OH MY! **

**Back at the Airport…**

**Bree-POV**

Renesmee waved goodbye to me and Victoria…_and Nahuel _as she stood at the top of the platform boarding the plane. Nahuel waved back with a subsidiary smile on his face. That guy was seriously "warped" as Victoria would put it. Something just wasn't right with him…and even to an extent, Victoria believed that as well.

I never really liked how he treated Renesmee, but apparently neither my nor anyone else's opinions mattered when it came to her precious little Nahuel.

When I passed him in the hallway at school, he would always have this…_look _on his face. Ya know the kind you just want to slap off of someone—and usually I'm not this violent, but when it comes to that smug Brazilian "god_"_…UGH!

Renesmee showed her winning smile as they began to shut the door. Victoria slurped out the bottom of her lemon ICEE; she was making a disgusting sucking sound.

When I saw Nahuel sigh, I figured he was upset about Renesmee leaving. When I saw Nahuel look at his phone, I figured he was checking the time. When I saw him smile like he had never smiled before, I figured he got a funny text. And finally, when I saw Nahuel pick up his jacket off the seat he was sitting at, I figured he was leaving…but then he—

"UGH!" Victoria grabbed my arm.

"Where are we going?" I tried to keep my eyes locked on where Nahuel was headed, but soon enough Victoria was pulling me through the crowd.

"I have to PEE! You're going with me."

"Why should I…" I trailed off; my eyes slowly left him as he drifted away from the crowd and out of the sliding entrance doors. I disregarded him realizing it was hopeless to keep watching. "The last time I told _you_ to wait on _me_, the cleaning crew locked me in a port-a-potty."

"That was an accident."

"Yeah, right."

"Bree." She huffed. "You _know_ when I see the words _fried _and _Oreos _on the same sign, I need to see what's going on in that capacity."

I just rolled my eyes.

"Here hold this." She shoved her ICEE at me.

"Ew. You're taking it in the bathroom?"

"Duhhhhh. You don't expect me to leave it out here and somebody drink it, do you? That is _so_ gross…and technically, you're taking it." And that was that.

I waited by the stall until Victoria was done. She made me wait ten more minutes for her to brush her hair and do her makeup again.

"I want to see James lookin' _hot_." She whined.

"Whatever. Just hurry. I have to take Liam to the movies at 3." Liam was my little brother. "He's only four, you know. And the last thing I need to deal with is an impatient four year old screaming about how he's going to miss a horse named Secratariat."

"Hold _on_." She growled.

_Flight 31, now arriving from Los Angeles… _The robotic voice spoke over the announcer thing. _Now boarding flight 39 to Chicago._

Ugh. I looked down at my watch. Renesmee had been gone for thirty minutes now. I laughed. A whole new flight was returning. Are you kidding me?

"What's wrong with you?" she blew a kiss to herself in the mirror and picked up her purse.

"Nothing. Let's go. Take this." I gave her back her melted slushy thing.

"Fine." She took it and we walked out of the restroom.

There weren't as many people as before in the airport lobby. People were hugging and making out like crazy. I smiled when I saw a woman and a man in his camouflage army uniform wrapped in each other's arms, a small toddler squished between them waving a little American flag. I also smiled when I saw another man on his cellphone jumping up in excitement, "Are you sure you're pregnant, sweetheart?" I was even smiling when I saw a strawberry blonde girl leap onto a teenager's back who was turned to us. She wrapped her legs around his hips and began kissing his neck. He turned and laughed enthusiastically with her—

My smile vanished and Victoria's drink crashed onto the ground covering the area we were standing in. "Is that—"

"Oh, my God." We both gasped. Nothing is ever as it seems…

**Renesmee-POV **

I slept almost all six hours of the flight to Atlanta, GA. If we wouldn't have had to switch flights in Chicago, I would have been alright.

My seat in first class was _really_ comfortable. Nahuel's letters were with me through it all. I just cursed myself silently for encouraging my mom and dad in to taking our private jet…

* * *

As soon as I had grabbed my things from the baggage claim, i walked to a payphone by the wall. I started to dial my Grandpa's phone number when a gruff voice cleared his throat.

"If you're trying to call the house, we moved three years ago." I was confused at first, wondering if the voice was even directed to me. Something inside told me it was. I put the phone back down and turned slowly.

I hadn't seen him in so long. His thin brown hair with a slight curl was now turning gray on the sides, along with his mustache. He was still thin…ish. I could tell he was beginning to get a beer gut. He was in a flannel plaid shirt with a white t shirt. But overall, he was still—

"Grandpa!" I left my things where they were and ran straight into his arms. "I have missed you so much!" I squealed.

He laughed a hardy sound. "I missed you too, sweetheart." and hugged me back.

* * *

"So, how've you been, darlin'?" Grandpa asked loading my bags into the back of his police cruiser.

"Great. Never been better." I lied smoothly.

"Uh-huh…cool." He took it as a real answer. Lucky for me, I was blessed with my father's skills in that region.

As soon as he had finished we got into the cruiser. Every ten miles, he made it known.

"A hundred miles left." And "Ninety miles left." And "Eighty miles to go, kiddo." At one point, I broke down and asked him:

"Grandpa, why are you so nervous?"

"Am I showing?"

"Just a bit." I smiled.

It took him a second. "It's Leah." He glanced out of the corner of his eye at me.

I tried to understand and failed miserably. "Who?"

"You're…aunt by marriage." He shrugged.

"Aunt by marri—"then it clicked. "You're married?" I screamed and the cruiser swerved a little. "Since when?"

"Since 2007." He cleared his throat.

"Two thousand and—"I sucked in a breath. "But 2007 was when I…"

"I know." He looked scared.

"You didn't?" I shook my head. "No…Not then. Not…that _day_. Please. When you told momma you couldn't make it, you said you had prior engagements—"I stopped. "You got married on my court date?" I whispered.

"You're mother said that the charges were going to drop anyway." He defended himself.

"My court date, though? Of all days?"

"I'm sorry, Little Ren."

"No. You can't call me that." I decided folding my arms. "Only Nahuel can call me that."

"Are you still dating him?" Suddenly tense, he shot me a disapproving look. He, like Bree, did not like Nahuel. They thought he was a jerk and could never do anything right. "I thought surely you were going to break up with him after—"

"I _don't_ really think that's any of your business."

It was quiet after that and neither of us talked until we reached the South Carolina boarder.

"What's her name?" I whispered.

"What?" he reached over and turned the radio down.

"Her name. What is it? Your…w-wife?" I forced out.

"Oh, her name is Sue." He shrugged.

I laughed. I couldn't hold it in. "Grandpa, are you blushing?" He just smiled and shrugged once more, this time he kept his shoulders a little high to hide the obvious redness on his face. "Do you, ya know, love her?"

He laughed. "Well duhhh."

I laughed again. "How'd you guys meet?"

A strange look crossed his face. I couldn't really figure it out… Sorrow, maybe?

"We go way back, sorta. See, Little Ren—"he stopped. "I mean, Renesmee…Sue's husband's name was Harry. He died of a heart attack a year before I married Sue. She and the kids were pretty lonely after Harry's death. She started coming over with Leah and Seth. They were welcome to come just like always and eventually they just," he shrugged. "stayed."

"How did you know this Harry guy?"

"We fished together. He's one of my closest pals…well, _was_."

I placed my hand on his arm. "Sorry." I could see that clearly this subject hurt him. "So what's Leah like?"

He sighed. "As a stepfather, I would have to say an overall great kid, but as an innocent bystander, a full blown shark in the water after getting sliced up with a harpoon."

My eyes widened like saucers. I, for once in my life, was at loss for words.

He looked at me. "Maybe I'm exaggerating."

"I-I would h-hope so." I stuttered.

"By the way, you'll be staying in her room. We've kept it pretty tidy since she left for college, you'll meet her soon enough…but then again, never _is_ soon enough when it comes to Leah." He chuckled. "She's got a boyfriend. You guys could talk about that I guess."

"And, Seth. He is…?"

"Your _uncle_." He shook his head. "He said and I quote, 'that is what she's gonna refer to me as.'" Then he said looking over at me. "We've got a bet going to see if you'll call him that, so do me and my wallet a favor, would ya, kid?"

"Uncle Seth? Right. Like that would even _begin_ to happen. "I laughed. "I don't even know him. Like, for instance, how old he is."

"Fifteen."

I snorted. "You're kidding me, right? I'm _seven_teen. I don't need some punk kid telling me what to do."

"Aww, c'mon Ren. Seth's a real good kid. He just needs to learn to be a _leader_ instead of a _follower_."

"Does he follow the _wrong crowd_ or something?" I held up quotation marks with my fingers.

"What? Oh, no, nothing like that. He could have done worse—much worse. He hangs around with a bunch of older boys, and some others his own age, too. He tacks along with Jacob." He nodded in approval. "Now, _that's_ one great kid. You remember him? Billy's kid?"

"Billy's your best friend, right? I think I remember _him_. Not so much Jacob, though." I shrugged.

"Yeah, you probably don't. You were little back then. Leah's only a few years older than you, and Jake's a few years older than Leah."

"Um, so, are you ever going to tell me why you're so nervous about Leah?" I wondered aloud. "We kinda got off subject before."

"Yeah. Well, it's not really about Leah; it's more about you _with_ Leah."

I raised my eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Like I said, she's pretty harsh. Went through some crazy love triangle with Jake's boss and now she's eternally ticked off and now no one understands her, not even Jake and life is _sucktacular _or something you kids say these days."

"Oh."

"Try and land on her good side and this summer will be a breeze."

I sighed. _I really hope so…_

* * *

"Welcome to Wagener!" Grandpa nearly shouted waking me from my sleep.

I groggily looked up and out the window. I hadn't been here in so long and it looked like they hadn't touched anything since I had left almost nine years ago. A small beat up auto shop that still looked the same, had wooden cutouts of silhouetted cowboys leaning against a post. Up the road a few feet was an old BP with only a few cars at the pumps. We came to a fork in the road and we turned left passing a convenience store called "Kwik Carry" and we drove by Avalanche funeral home.

Grandpa kept going straight. We passed by "The Merry-Go-Round"; I used to get my hair cut there when I was little. Then a sweet smell carried through Grandpa's window and into my bubble.

He smiled and inhaled more of the delicious scent. "Apple pie and Mr. Carrillo's famous chocolate pound cake with lemon." My stomach growled. And then a loud buzzing rang from across the street. It sounded like someone had angered a zillion hornets. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

As I looked over, an overhead sign lit up in neon green and blue, reading "Big Dog's Auto". Beside the words was a glowing wolf howling at the moon, which too, was also lit up in neon colors. The two garage doors were pulled up exposing a small Buick and a dark green mustang. _What I would do to drive that car…_ I thought to myself. _But, no-oh-oh. You didn't fly the private jet so you can't get your Ferrari…Boo-hoo you…Jank._

There were guys' feet sticking out from under both of the cars. I saw another tall guy with choppy black hair eating some kind of food. He was dressed in what looked like a greased smeared white T-shirt and deeply faded blue jeans with holes in the legs…and the knees…and the thighs—

I shook my head and imagined Nahuel's face in my mind…_I love you._ His words rang through my thoughts, clearing out everything at that moment like a sweet tornado that I wanted to approach…

I just closed my eyes and listened to Nahuel's soft, Latin voice and remembered his rough breathing as we had—

"They should be closing up by now." Grandpa spoke up, pulling me out of my marvelous reverie. I was afraid that he knew—just knew—what I was thinking. Like he could read my mind or something. He was looking my way, not directly at me, but I could still feel my face flush just as if I were a little kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "It's getting pretty late." He said while yawning.

"What?" I laughed. "Past your bedtime already?"

"Har-har. But I didn't see you getting up at 6AM to go investigate things and then skipping lunch to pick up your granddaughter." I eyed his stomach. "Okay, so I ate before I got you, but still, you get the point."

My IPod said it was 6:23 PM, which wasn't exactly accurate. It was set to the Washington time zone. It was really 9:23 PM in little Wagener.

We drove for only a few more miles up the road when Grandpa turned a sharp right onto a dirt road (I had to hold onto the side of the door.). Pine trees circled a brick house deep into the woods.

Of course I hadn't seen this place before, because like Grandpa had said, they had moved.

It was a quaint, rustic place. A small two-story with old-fashioned windows with red shutters.

"Alice helped us with it." He mentioned.

"Alice? You mean Jasper and Alice? That Alice? My Alice?"

"Yup." He nodded.

"Was I the only one that didn't know you're married?"

_

* * *

"So, this is the kitchen." Grandpa extended his arm toward the small room. It was covered in cute little décor, a little farm on the inside with ceramic hens and piglet salt and pepper shakers. The house smelled like cinnamon on the inside, and there were hints of cedar as well drifting off the medium-sized kitchen and cabinets. The walls were a blood red color._

"There's no stopping Alice." I mumbled.

"Sue loved it which was really all that mattered in the end." He picked up my bags from the hardwood floor and started out the room. "Let me show you your room."

I followed him up a long set of carpeted stairs that overlooked the living room. There were three doors: one closest to the stairs. There was another door right in the middle and a final on the other end of the hallway (there was music playing from that room. I couldn't really understand the muffled lyrics, but the beat sounded familiar.). Grandpa opened the one closest to the stairs.

Let's just say that the bedroom was _totally _expected from Aunt Alice. I almost giggled. The walls were a bold lime green. There were two windows: one across from two Full sized beds (both of which had Hot Pink sheets and black comforters.), and another in a closed in alcove type thing. There was a bright yellow lamp on a purple nightstand that separated the beds.

The room seemed oddly…Childish? A bit. Tasteful? Like candy…Hmmmm. This room seemed like…sort of, _familiar._

"That's Leah's bed over there." He pointed to the one farthest from the door by the alcove, which led out onto a balcony. He walked to the other bed and sat my things down on it. He looked at his watch again yawning. "You can try and put your things away, but I don't know where you can do that. We tried to talk Leah into clearing some space but…" His eyes wandered to a closed walk in closet door beside Leah's bed. "You don't want to go in there, without anyone to pull you back out." I laughed. He had an odd sense of humor. It was flat, but if it wasn't funny….

He sighed, still recovering from his yawn and nodded to himself. "Seth." He called out and walked out of the room. I didn't know what to do…_Follow him._ A voice whispered causing me to jump.

So, I did.

I strode gently down the hall and saw Grandpa about 13 feet down leaning into another room. "Son." He knocked and then spoke a little louder. "Seth." Another knock and then finally Grandpa opened the door. "Seth." I stood leaning against the door frame as I peered into the room. I couldn't tell if this room had been constructed by Aunt Alice or not. The walls were covered by drawings and paintings and portraits. Clearly, this Seth was an artist. The windows were covered with newspapers and tape. As far as I could tell, Seth wasn't in this room at the moment, but apparently—to Grandpa—he was.

Grandpa walked over to a black bookshelf and turned the music down before I even had a chance to name the song.

I then watched someone walk out of the closet. I knew this guy couldn't have been Seth, because the dude looked like he was in his early twenties, at least.

"Oh." He looked up from something film like in his hands. Then I realized it _was_ film. That explained the windows. "Hey Charlie!" He didn't have a deep voice. No, this voice seemed to not have belonged with his body, it was just a normal voice, though one that would never be forgotten. "Sorry about the noise." He walked over to a desk and grabbed a clothespin and attached the print to a long piece yarn dangling just below the ceiling.

He was a tall guy. About 6'4"ish. He was a handsome thing, too…not _hot_, just handsome. Like the way a mother wants her son to grow up and look. He had thick, black curly hair all the way to his chin and parted perfectly straight down the center. He had a soft farmers tan, as well. He was wearing dark wash Wrangler straight legged jeans and a white tank top. Obviously this guy hit the gym or something because he had muscles that most guys at Forks High would kill for. They were just the right for his body. I noticed a barbed wire around his right bicep; it wasn't something that was likely to be missed.

"Yeah, yeah." Grandpa waved it off. "This is Renesmee, Seth."

"Hey Renesmee." Seth held out a hand. I shook it.

"Hello, Seth." Seth's eyes glanced over to my grandfather. He was obviously thinking, _There goes all my money._ I giggled to myself.

Grandpa yawned. "Well, it's time for me to hit the sack. 'Nite kids." He turned and began down the hallway. "And Renesmee, if you need something ask Seth or me or Sue." I noticed he didn't recommend my asking Leah…

"Deal?" he asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yes, sir." I called back. I heard Grandpa's door shut and Seth walked towards his bed.

I wasn't really ready to be alone, yet so I walked in slowly. "Um," I mumbled quietly.

He looked up, his rich hair shifted across his prominent features as he put his finger on his chin as if thinking about it. "Can I help you?" I would've expected the question to be a bit harsh or sharp, but the way he said it was actually polite. I know that _I_ wouldn't have been so kind to a total stranger in my room.

"I'm, er…" I paused. I wasn't sure how to put it exactly. "I'm not really ready to be alone just yet…" I said sheepishly.

"Okay." He nodded. "Wanna stay in here for a while?" His voice was thick with his Southern drawl.

I nodded once. "Sure—but only a few minutes. I don't want to keep you up or anything."

"Oh, that's no problem. Just be out by ten. I need my beauty sleep, Renesmee." I looked at him. "It was a joke."

"Oh, right. Ha-ha-da-ha." I tried to laugh but it came out all awkward, only causing Seth to laugh at me. _Great._

"Take a seat." He patted an open spot on his bed. I sat down and folded my legs. I looked around the room and saw an Xbox 360. He saw me staring. "You play?"

"What? Oh, no. Me and videogames don't really click with each other." I paused. "My boyfriend likes to play them though. That's what he does mostly with his friends."

Seth nodded. "Me too…with my friends. You'll have to meet them sometime. I mostly play with Collin, but he's a pig. So watch out if you _do _meet. And Brady, but sometimes I go over to Jake's house and we play COD."

"COD?" I asked.

"Sorry, Call of Duty. It's where you run around a lot and shoot everyone."

_Of course, it is. That's almost every videogame in America. _"I think Nahuel has that one. He's, like, amazing at it."

"Nahuel?"

"My boyfriend."

We sat in awkward silence for a while, and then Seth stood up and started piling a bunch of clothes in his drawers. "Sorry my room's a mess." He apologized. "I've just been so busy and haven't really had that much time to clean it."

I smiled. "No need for a disclaimer, Seth."

He looked over at me, suddenly tense. "Have you met my sister yet?" I shook my head. He nodded to himself. "'Kay. That's good."

"Good?" I questioned. "Why does everyone go all spazzmatic when they talk about her?"

"Spazzmatic?"

"Not the point." I reminded him.

"Look, Renesmee." He closed his drawers, picked up a few T-shirts from off the ground and threw them into a hamper across the room. "My sister doesn't appreciate when new people come into her life and try and sabotage who she is—"He threw his hands up in defense "—not that I'm saying you're gonna do that or anything! Just try to stay away from everything that matters to her and she'll be good to you…ish."

"Well, what matters to her?"

"Jacob."

"Ah." I nodded. "Her boyfriend."

"Fiancé." He corrected.

"But Grandpa said they were only dating."

"Jake hasn't asked her yet. He's planning to do it real soon, though." Seth looked sad.

"What's wrong? You don't want your sister to move away?"

He snorted. "Puh-lease. She can move to Shanghai, China for all I care."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Jacob."

"I'm lost."

"He doesn't deserve her. He's too good a guy for her. She treats him like crap. He keeps saying that she'll get better…but she doesn't. It's like he's blind."

"This Jacob sounds like a vulnerable guy."

"He's not really. I mean, he tells you how it is if you have a problem or something, but it's not like he doesn't get angry sometimes, 'cause, hey, we all do."

"You don't seem to me like you get angry. You seem pretty laid back."

"Oh, I am most of the time." He shrugged. "I'm all for the keeping peace."

* * *

I looked up from unpacking my suitcase and over to the digital clock mounted on the wall. 12:23. I had been here exactly one hour on the dot.

I wondered for a brief second when I would meet Leah, then remembered I probably didn't want to.

My eyes drifted across the room. The curtains fluttered in an invisible breeze. Both windows in the room were open; I hadn't noticed. It wasn't cold in the room, just real muggy. South Carolina was quite a humid place. I had almost forgotten how to breathe correctly when Grandpa and I had arrived at the airport; it was like drowning.

I didn't mind the fresh air, so I let them be.

As I unpacked my clothes, I searched around the quiet room for quite some time seeing if I could find a place to store my belongings.

No luck.

I shrugged and left my suitcase open beside my bed. I picked out a thin red V-neck tee for bed and kept on my black boy shorts; who would see me?

I reached to the end of the bed and into my carry on. I pulled out my laptop. I _had _promised Nahuel I would e-mail him.

_Hello my love, _I typed, smiling.

_It's 12:31 here and I miss you so much, already. I don't know how I'm going to last a whole summer without seeing your gorgeous face. My flight was okay. My Grandpa picked me up at the airport and took me to his house. That was when I found out he was married. _

_I also found out have an "uncle" named Seth and an "aunt" named Leah. I haven't had the opportunity to meet Leah yet—but I hear she's a catch. Seth is cool though; he likes that videogame you like…Call of Duty, I think. He's an artist and a photographer._

_This place smells like horse crap—just throwing that out there. _

_I miss you. I said I'll e-mail you every day, so expect one of these every-fricken'-day._

_I love you, Nahuel. Forever and always. You are the most amazing boyfriend EVER. I don't know what would happen if you were gone out of my life again—_

The wind crashed through my room in a violent rush of freezing air. My breathing stopped completely. The curtains thrashed around violently. "No." I whispered, but my breath was caught and was suspended in the air above my head like a dainty fog.

"Hello Renesmee…" Her voice piercingly soft. Her pale hair swept around her head in exquisite delicacy. She looked more real than any of the other times I had _seen_ her in reality.

"Why?" I whispered. "Why are you here?"

"Welcome back…" she whispered. Her eyes were almost as lifeless as a blind person.

"That doesn't answer my question." I told her.

"What are you doing?" She angled her head slowly.

"E-mailing my boyfriend. What does it look like?"

"You look frightened." A leisurely smile spread across her features. "You act like you've seen a ghost." I didn't speak. I simply crossed my arms trying to show attitude, but really I was just so cold. "Is it worth it?" She spoke looking down at my computer. I questioned her. "Is _he _worth it?"

I was about to tell her off when I saw petite hands reach out towards my laptop. I looked at her puzzled and before I could even get a word out, she picked it up and launched it across the room. It made a deafening crash as it made contact with the wall. Before I could even blink it smashed into hundreds of pieces.

She turned back to me as if nothing had even happened.

At first I was mesmerized, she had _never _had the ability to do that before—to pick up an actual 3D object. In Forks, all she was capable to do was nudge a pencil or something.

Then, I exploded.

"_WHAT THE HELL?_" I screamed as loud as possible. "WHY?" I pointed to the mess. "Clean. It. Up!"

"Oh, Nessie, dear, you know I can't do that. I'm not _that _strong." and she dispersed out of sight.

I screamed once more in raging fury and pulled my knees up to my chest, just staring at the chaos that had just erupted. _Why would she do such a thing? _

The bedroom door burst wide open. "What the hell is going on in here?" Grandpa was clutching a rifle tightly between his fingers. His flannel shirt all buttoned incorrectly as if in a rush. Seth was a centimeter behind with his hair tied into a rubber band and a toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

Seth glanced over to me and quickly looked away. I remembered for a short second the outfit I was wearing. They just looked in the direction of my glower.

"What did you do?" Seth whispered, his words muddled by the toothbrush.

"There was a spider." I muttered lifelessly. I_ had _to lie. What choice did I have? Everyone thought I stopped seeing _her_ a long time ago. I didn't need everyone to start back up again. And I _really _didn't need to take any more of that Anafranil medication. "Sorry for the noise. I didn't mean to scream like that."

I saw Grandpa nod. "You're, um, okay. It wasn't _that_ loud." And Seth followed by saying: "Yeah, I barely heard you."

I looked at them and then to Grandpa's gun. "Then what's that for?"

He looked down at it. "Oh, this is nothing…just my spider killing gun. Ya know for those ol' Grandaddy Long Legs?" He shrugged.

"Right." I mumbled.

"Are you sure you're alright then?" He asked.

_No. Please don't leave me alone. _"Yeah, I'm good. It's dead. You should go get some sleep. I promise not to wake you again unless there's a real emergency. Sorry."

He nodded and I heard him mumble: "Girls."

When Grandpa had left the room Seth looked at me. "You in the country now, beautiful." I smiled softly at him as he left out and headed back to the bathroom.

I sighed and shook my head. I needed to get away from _her._

_

* * *

_

It was dark in the room. I couldn't at all find the ability of sleep. I could see the clock from the dim light of the moon. 3:47. This was ridiculous. Even if I were back in Forks, I would have been asleep hours ago.

I had never been able to sleep after I saw her. It had always been a struggle to close my eyes and see her behind my lids. I hated that feeling. I hated being worried and scared, but most of all, I hated _her. _She always thought she was doing the best for me, but any time she tried, it always led me down the path of destruction with no chance of survival.

It had always been like that, with _everything I did!_ With my friends, my family, my boyfriend, _everything! _

I had stopped taking my Anafranil for about two years now. Usually Anafranil was only to be used by people with scary cases of obsessive compulsive disorder, but my problems were so horrible that my psychiatrist even suggested that I take it. My post-traumatic stress disorder was so rare that the medication I was given needed a much stronger prescription.

I was told that I could never stop taking them, so I just told my parents whenever they asked if I took my pill today, I'd just say "Of course." Though I never would.

I usually just ground the pills up with the end of my hairbrush and poured the powder down the drain in my bathroom sink. That was the only way to get them to believe I was taking them. The prescription would still be filled the same time as always. Yes, I did make them waste seven-hundred bucks every few months on absolutely nothing, but…they owed me.

The glass on the window shivered violently. It wasn't the wind. It _couldn't _have been the wind.

I was afraid that _she _was back.

I could see a faint silhouette outside lingering near a tree. It was a…human?

The frame ripped open and then in the next second was a light thud, followed by a quick "DAMMIT". I pulled the covers closer to my face and reached over to the lamp. I tugged the cord gently and the bright light exposed the intruder.

"Turn the damn light off!" a scorching female voice screeched at me. The girl had her hands over her head as if shielding herself. She glared at me through squinted eyes. She waited. "Can you not _hear? Turn the damn light off!" _I didn't and she grunted furiously.

"Who are—" I began, then it hit me. An unattractive aroma of cigarettes and alcohol. An _over-whelming_, unattractive aroma of cigarettes and alcohol.

I swallowed uncomfortably and was instantly thrown into a coughing fit.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" the woman said from the dresser.

"No-thing." I coughed out. "You just scared me."

"Is that why you're shaking like a baby?" By this time she was out of her clothes and completely naked. She was putting on a pair of pants and a shirt which she had gathered from the dresser. I looked away to give her some privacy.

"I am not." I argued. "Who are you—" I stopped as I grasped onto the situation. "You're Leah, am I right?" I grasped.

"Depends. Who the hell are you? And why are you in that bed?"

"I'm Renesmee." I stated simply. I looked back at her, finally able to get a good look at her. She had short hair; it was right above her shoulders. It had a look as though someone had a really bad perm and tried to brush it out. She had an olive colored skin, about the same color as Seth's was. She had piercing green eyes—like a cat, almost. An _extremely_ tight white t-shirt and the shortest pair of red jogging cut-offs possible were the only coverage for her body.

"Renesmee? What the hell? What, were your parents drunk when they named you?" she snorted.

I smiled. "Funny. You smell like you just walked out of Kanye West music video."

She snorted. "Sorry, obviously I didn't go to Bible camp like you, tater tot." She paused. "Why are you here and how long are you staying for?"

"I'm visiting for the summer."

She walked over to her bed and positioned herself under the covers facing away from me. "Just stay out of my way and I'll pretend you don't even exist."

"Promise?" I crossed my fingers. She glared at me over her shoulder.

"Are you going to turn the light off or not?"

I thought about it. "Ask me like a decent human being and maybe I will."

"Please, you little drunken mistake, turn the damn light off."

"That's better." I turned the light off.

When all was quiet, I whispered loudly, "And by the way, I was just wondering… Did you know that the actual meaning of Leah is 'ugly'?" I closed my eyes and melted into cocoon of satisfaction. It may have been a bit childish, but at least I got my point across.

_

* * *

_

When I woke up the next day it was lunch time.

I was happy that I had made a whole night in Wagener all by myself.

I got up out of bed, put my robe on and headed down to the kitchen where I met a full table of steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, biscuit—everything magically delicious.

Seth was sitting at the bar with a glass of sweet tea in hand. "Good afternoon, Renesmee." He greeted me as I grabbed a seat beside him.

"Hey Seth." I noticed he was dressed in dark jeans and a light blue collared short-sleeve shirt from Abercrombie & Fitch along with Sperry's. His hair was wet and drying as we spoke. He looked good…and smelled _amazing. _Is that awkward?

"What are your plans for the day? You look pretty spiffy." I told him.

"Thanks." He smiled. "Nothing…_too_ important is happening today."

"_Too _important?" I smiled back. "A hot date, perhaps?"

He blushed. "No. There's no date."

"Aww. You're lying!" I cooed. "Who is she? What's she like? Tell me everything…now—"

"Calm down _mom._" He laughed gently. "If you must know, I'm going to a party. No hot date. No girl. Just party."

I narrowed my eyes.

"Honest." He defended.

We were quiet for a few minutes and he told me where I could grab a plate. I put my lunch on it and we sat together and ate.

After we were both finished, he looked at me. "You wanna come with me? To the party?"

I shook my head. "I don't really have the proper attire for a party, Seth."

"Oh, well this isn't really a ballroom- debutant thing; just a little gathering. You could wear nothing and nobody would mind—I mean they might mind if you were naked, but I don't think anyone would _truly _mind. I mean—"

I laughed and shook his arm. "Seth."

"Sorry." He laughed at himself. "Jeans and a t-shirt would work great."

"I'll be sure to find _something_ to wear." I laughed again. "So, if it isn't a formal festivity, what kind is it?"

"It's a birthday party; For Jacob." He shrugged. "Leah'll be there." He picked up my plate from the bar and took it to the sink. "Speaking of Leah, did she come home last night?"

I nodded. "Yep. Around 4 a.m., right through a window. She about scared me half to death, too."

"Sorry. I know she can be a pest. A_ huge _pest."

"Yeah. I kind of figured that when she claimed indecent exposure right in front of me, and insulted my name. And apparently I can't comprehend how to turn a light off." I shrugged.

"She's not here now?"

"I guess not. She wasn't in her bed this morning. I just figured she was in the bathroom."

"Hey kids!" I heard Grandpa's voice shout at us from the back door. When he came into view, he was carrying large shopping bags from Wal-mart. Seth and I were making our way to the car to help when I noticed someone.

A tall, statuesque woman with straight black hair cut right below her ears. It was elegant; not many could have pulled it off as well. She looked to be in her late forties/ early fifties.

She looked up at me. "Oh," she smiled. The corners of her eyes and mouth had lines from years of laughter. "Hello. You must be Renesmee." I nodded. "I'm Sue." She set down her bags and gave a quick hug. She dipped her head in Seth's direction. "I assume Seth's been treating you kindly?"

"Absolutely, ma'am. He's been very kind to me. He even invited me to a party tonight."

"Is that so?" she looked over at Seth with another smile.

"It's okay right mom?" Seth asked carrying the groceries into the house.

"Oh, yes." She clasped her hands together. "Jacob'll be grateful for the company."

_

* * *

After we had finished bringing the bags, Seth brought up a touchy subject._

"So, apparently Leah made her debut this morning at four a.m…"

"Oh, really?" Sue _tsk'_d disapprovingly. "I hope she didn't disturb you, Renesmee. Charlie should've warned you about her. Sneaking in late at night." She shook her head. "I wonder where she had been…"

I just pressed my lips together and shrugged.

"Probably at another bar with Jane and Heidi." Seth muttered. "That's where she usually goes."

"I tell you what," Sue pointed at me. "college ruins you. The drinking. The smoking. The friends. The parties. It's all just straight up trouble."

"Mom," Seth laughed. "She did all that before college."

"I don't care. I blame college. Send your kid away for three years. No e-mail. No phone calls—it'd be a miracle if you could force a _text message_ out of her. I just don't understand it."

"Military Camp…" Seth sang quietly and strode gently out the room.

"Oh, hush up, Seth." Sue snickered.

Grandpa walked in, then. "What you hens squawking at in here?"

"Nothing." Sue smiled and winked at me.

_

* * *

__It was two now and I was bored out of my mind as I sat on the couch. I couldn't e-mail anyone. My phone barely had any service. Their home phone didn't have long-distance calling. I didn't have a car. All I could do was sit and watch TV and talk to Seth._

_I guess I could get ready for that party, _I thought. _No, _I shook my head to myself. _Party's at eight; can't get ready now. I'll look like I'm desperate to get out of the house—wait… I am desperate to get out of the house. I could go somewhere, like shopping or eating—I could get a souvenir for Nahuel. On your first official day in South Carolina? People usually get souvenirs after their trip, don't they?..._ I sighed. _Doesn't matter. You don't have anything to get into town in. Way to make yourself feel like crap in a matter of forty-seconds…On the upside: new record._

And as if it were a sign from heaven, Grandpa called me to the back door. "Hey, Renesmee? Can you come here for a sec? Let me show you something."

When I got to him, he covered my eyes with his thin hands. "Keep walking…Watch your step." He led me outside; I heard the birds chirping and the cows mooing. "You ready?" I nodded. "Ta-Dah!" He removed his hands.

I stood in front of it, afraid to move.

An old red pick-up truck was parked in front of me. The only thing clean was where the windshield wipers could reach. Few leaves covered the rusty hood.

"What…?" I looked over at him.

"It was Bella's. She used to drive it when she was in high school and college. She got rid of it when she got married. I thought, maybe, you might want to drive it around town seeing as _your _car is still in Washington."

I looked it over once again and nodded. _What the hell. _"I was actually thinking about going shopping."

"Well, that's good, I guess." He shrugged. "You going anywhere special? Need directions for someplace?"

"No, I think I still remember most things… if they haven't changed much." I muttered.

"Okay then. I gotta go to work now." He looked at his watch. "Seth'll be here. You can call him if you need something." He hugged me goodbye and began towards the gate to the field.

"Hey Grandpa—"

"Ignition." He called back to my unspoken question.

* * *

Approxiamately 23 ½ miles later, I was exactly where I wanted to be.

Aiken.

It was _exactly _as I remembered it from the past. Not too small, nor too big. It was just the right size.

I had made it safely in the old vehicle I was driving. _Note to self: Don't push it over 63 mph…you'll make it sputter like crazy and everyone look at you._

I went to mall—Aeropostale, Bath &Body Works, Belk, JC Penney, Sears—and then picked up lunch at a Chick-fil-a. I went to Wal-Mart and Target. I got a few winks from guys, as well. None of which could equal Nahuel, though. After I had spent almost all the money in my wallet I decided to go back to the house.

On the way, there came a problem.

I was half-way to Wagener when the car started jolting forward. "Oh crap, please. Not now. Don't do this now." I muttered to myself as the truck started decelerating down on its own solidarity. It came to a harsh stop and my head slammed the back window. "Ow!" I shouted and tried to restart the engine but nothing was happening.

I got out of the car, angrily, to check under the hood. I lifted it up and I was smacked in the face by a cloud of smoke. I fluttered my hand in front of my face and coughed. "Yay…" I griped. I looked around to see where I was. and there was nothing around.

"Dammit." I breathed and looked down the dusty road. It was almost twilight out. I ripped my phone out of my back pocket. It was later than I thought it was. Almost six. "Dammit." I repeated. I had no clue where I was either. I thought I had made the correct turn at that bend a few miles back. The lights went off when the truck did, so the only light I possessed was in my hands.

I dialed the one person I knew would be able to help me.

_Ring…ring…ring…ri—_

_Hello? _A familiar voice answered.

"Seth, hey it's Renesmee."

_Oh, hey Renesmee. It's gettin' kinda late. Where are you?_

"Actually, that's why I'm calling. I don't know where I am exactly. This piece of _scrap metal_ broke down in the middle of a road."

_S'not good. Do you know what road?_

"No."

_Well…what's around you?_

"Um…" I looked around. "A few trees. Darkness—ooh, and I think that's a rock over there."

_Helpful. _He laughed. _So you don't remember seeing any type of landmark you passed on the way?_

"No—well, I think there was a church a ways on back." I scratched my head and looked back the direction to where I had first saw the church.

_Okaaaayyyyy…Do you remember the name of that church?_

"Er...Maybe, like, Calvary or something—"

_First Calvary Presbyterian?_

"Yes! That's it."

_Ooh…not good._

"Wha—Why? Why is that not good, Seth?"

_You're in the ghetto._

I snorted. "How can I be in the ghetto if there is _no_ _one_ _around_?"

_ Well—_

"Just forget it." I exhaled heavily. "When are you going to be here?"

_Well, I can't come and get you—_

"Why not?"

_I've only got my permit. I can't legally drive without an adult 18 or older in the passenger seat—_

"So, you can't help me worth a damn?" I nearly shouted.

_Calm down. _He sighed. _It's probably too late, but try giving BDA a call._

I paused. "Seth."

_Yeah?_

"What the _hell_ is that?"

_Big Dog's Auto? A garage in Wagener. You had to have passed it yesterday on the way in._

"Ah, yes. I know what you're talking about." Something strange happened then. A warm and soft feeling rushed over my skin. Like velvet almost. It was comforting somehow…

Seth gave me the number to the garage and I called it as soon as I had hung up.

_Big Dog's Auto. It's Sam. How can I help you? _His voice was deeply masculine.

"Um, hello." I said shakily. "My name is Renesmee Cullen and my car broke down. I was given this number to call. Can you help me out with a lift?"

_Absolutely. All I need is to know where you are._

"I'm a mile or two away from First Calvary Presbyterian. Do you know where that is?" And after that I immediately smacked my palm to my forehead. _Of course he knows where that is. Unlike you, I'm sure he probably actually lives here._

He laughed. _Yes ma'am. I've been there a time or two._

"Right." I laughed once. I was glad he wasn't there in front of me to see my face turn bright red

_I'll send someone right down_..._ It might take a few minutes; we're short on employees tonight._

I sighed thinking about how late it was. "That's fine."

_Alright, then. Good-bye._

"Good-bye." And I hung up the phone.

Approximately sixteen minutes later, my prince arrived in the sunset by tow truck…

***AHHHH! YAY! CHAPPIE 3 IS COMING UP—ONE OF MY FAVORITES, ACTUALLY! I MIGHT GET EXCITED AND UPLOAD IT EARLIER DEPENDING ON MY WRITING SCHEDULE…**

***REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! CAN'T WAIT TO HERE YOUR THOUGHTS! **


	3. The Welcomed Stranger

*******HEYYYYYYYY MUCHACHOS Y MUCHACHAS! I LIED; I DIDN'T UPLOAD EARLY LIKE I THOUGHT I WOULD...(MY BETA WAS GROUNDED)...SO THIS IS CHAPTER 3 IT'S NOT AS LONG AS CHAPTER 2...CH.2 WAS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE LONGEST CHAPTERS I'VE WRITTEN (**IT'S NOT AS LONG AS CHAPTER 8, THOUGH. I JUST FINISHED WRITING THAT ONE. IT WAS 28 PAGES IN MICROSFT WORD**)...I HOP YOU LIKE THIS CHAPPIE! YOU FINALLY GET TO MEET JAKE AFTER 2 CHAPTERS...HOPE YOU LIKE HIM, I SURE DO...PLEASE ENJOY!**

*******I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHAR**ACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing********Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

_Big Dog's Auto. It's Sam. How can I help you? _His voice was deeply masculine.

"Um, hello." I said shakily. "My name is Renesmee Cullen and my car broke down. I was given this number to call. Can you help me out with a lift?"

_Absolutely. All I need is to know where you are._

"I'm a mile or two away from First Calvary Presbyterian. Do you know where that is?" And after that I immediately smacked my palm to my forehead. _Of course he knows where that is._

He laughed. _Yes ma'am. I've been there a time or two._

"Right." I laughed once. I was glad he wasn't there in front of me to see my face turn bright red

_I'll send someone right down_. _ It might take a few minutes; we're short on employees tonight._

I sighed, thinking about how late it was. "That's fine."

_Alright, then. Good-bye._

"Good-bye." And I hung up the phone.

Approximately sixteen minutes later, my prince arrived in the sunset by tow truck…

**Ch. 3: The Welcomed Stranger**

"Drive safe, Maggie." Jacob smiled down at the elderly lady he was walking with. Her small wrinkly hand was barely clutching onto his strong forearm. He opened her car door for her. "Have a lovely day, beautiful."

She smiled up at him, her large blue rimmed glasses made her soft eyes almost twinkle. He would never know it, but just by him saying those five words had made her whole day.

"Have a nice birthday, Jacob." Maggie patted his hand. "Don't forget to make a wish when you blow out _all _those candles."

He laughed. "There aren't _that _many candles." She smiled slightly as he bent to kiss her cheek. "Goodbye, Maggie."

"Goodbye, Jacob. Tell your father I said hello." He helped her into her old car and she drove away.

The bells atop the swing door of Big Dog's Auto clanked as Jacob walked back inside. It was almost seven and his party would be starting soon. He wasn't really up for it; it was Monday, after all. His day had already been long enough and he would much rather it not lead on throughout the night.

Jacob walked to the back room of the garage where the crew kept their belongings. He drew his things out of his locker.

He pulled off his greased-smeared white t-shirt and holey jeans and traded them for a collared shirt and plain jeans which his girlfriend Leah was making him to wear—she wanted them to color coordinate.

She was a controlling woman, but he didn't care; he loved her. He would do anything for her—even if that meant that he would catch the slack of being called "whipped" from his friends.

"Yes ma'am. I've been there a few times." Jacob could hear his boss's laughter out at the front desk. Jacob walked out of the room.

"I'll send someone right down…" Sam waved Jacob over to the counter. "It might take a few minutes; we're short on employees tonight." Jacob could make out a soft female voice on the other end. "Alright, then. Good-bye."

Sam put down the phone and looked at Jacob apologetically. "Mind doing me a favor, Jake?" Before Jacob could even attempt to answer, Sam went on. "This young lady just called. Says her car broke down. I'd go myself, but I gotta pick up Levi from the sitter and get him ready for the party…"

Jacob looked at his watch. Leah would kill him for being even two minutes late, but…duty calls. "I'll go. Can't take that long." Jacob walked behind the register and picked a set of keys off the wall for the company vehicle.

"Thanks. I owe you one, Jacob."

Jacob nodded once and was out the door.

**Renesmee-POV **

I watched as the tow truck hauled to complete stop. The door opened and at first the only thing I saw were black cowboy boots, making it down the two steps to the ground. The door shut and that was when I saw him.

_Damn._

That was the only thing that my mind could conjure up. The only thing I could comprehend at that moment.

He didn't look like he worked at a boring garage. He was dressed like he was going on a hot date or something. He wore a burgundy collared shirt from Aero and pair of dark wash denim jeans with hole in the knee. The shirt was almost like a second skin—it just clung to his pecs and torso. The sleeves were as if they were bound to his biceps. Large _tan _biceps.

_Damn._

He walked toward me and smiled a blinding white smile. The front of his choppy black hair fell almost right in his eyes…and what beautiful eyes they were. A sweet coffee bean color with soft hazel flecks which were almost golden.

I smiled back at him.

"Hello."

I felt my eyes widen when he spoke. There was something about him that I was suddenly reminded of…but I couldn't place it. "Hi." I breathed. He held out his hand. I shook it; his warm, rough hand covered mine.

He nodded and then looked at the crappy piece of metal. "So…" He looked at it with a confused face for a few seconds.

"Is something wrong…?" I asked, looking up at his enormous frame. He was so _tall_. At least six-seven. I probably look like a shrimp in comparison. I was only five-four.

"Oh, no." He shook his head as if he were clearing it. "Your truck just looks…familiar."

"It's not mine." His deep brows furrowed.

"Did you," he shrugged. "steal it?"

I laughed once. "Do I look like the kind of girl that would steal a vehicle?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, no, but if you _did_ end up stealing it, you're in the right neighborhood."

I nodded. "The ghetto."

He laughed. "Yeah."

"And besides, don't you think I could steal a _way_ better car than this?" I kicked the tire.

He smiled at me and I couldn't resist smiling back at him.

Who was this guy? He was friendly—started a conversation with a total stranger. _Duh, that's his job. _He seemed nice—I sensed he was funny. He was handsome—Woah! Woah, woah, woah!

_Renesmee Carlie Cullen! How could you even think about another guy while you're with someone as wonderful as Nahuel? You should be ashamed of yourself…_yet, I felt no shame whatsoever.I blinked back to the present. _Besides, you don't even know his name._

He pulled his eyes away from me and flipped them over to the truck. He cleared his throat and lifted the hood. Smoke clouded the air around us and it was almost hard to see him as he waved his hand in front of his face.

I saw him poke something gently and then it happened.

A black liquid shot out towards his face. He shielded himself with his arms. The oil covered the whole front of his shirt. He cursed with a shout and I couldn't hold in the giggle that escaped my lips. I covered my mouth quickly and laughed to myself.

He looked up with a hard expression but then it melted away and he was laughing too.

"Smooth." I choked out, teasingly.

"I try." He pulled a rag out of his back pocket and wiped his face off with it. "Well," He slammed the hood. "The radiator's cracked, the plastic coating covering the wires on the battery have been chewed away by a squirrel most likely, and you're really lucky I came."

_Not like it's the first time I heard that…_I laughed. "Oh, is that so?"

"Damn straight." He smirked.

"Someone's pretty cocky." I folded my arms.

"No, just confident." He corrected. "Cockiness is confidence without reason, and—trust me—I have _plenty_ reason."

"Right." I grinned.

"So, here's what I would do," he said, switching back into mechanic mode. "Let me take this junk truck back to BDA and we'll fix it up, get it running again and we'll call you when it's done. How does that sound?"

"Beautiful." I clasped my hands together.

"Alright, let's do this. I'm going to need you to step away for a moment while I bring the truck over." I nodded and walked far enough away so that he could what needed.

He strode back to his tow truck, got in, and drove until he was parked with enough space to catch our vehicles together. He climbed out and wound the trailer hitch completely to mine. I could help but notice how his back muscles flexed through his shirt as he bent over the latch. My eyes couldn't help themselves as they travelled down lower…and lower…and lower, until I was completely done for.

"Done." I heard him say, as if emphasizing my own thoughts. He stood back up straight and smiled at me. He wiped off a smudge of grease from his forehead onto the red rag. "I'm gonna take it back now…" he furrowed his brows. "Is someone, by any chance, coming to pick you up?"

I shook my head. "No. I don't think he's coming."

He looked away, clearly thinking about something. "Why don't…" he said slowly. "I take you back to the garage with me—just to get you out of the ghetto." I laughed at that.

"I don't know." I shook my head, jokingly. "I was always told to never get in a stranger's vehicle."

He looked offended. "I'm not _that_ strange. I bet _you're_ stranger than I am." I didn't deny it. "I mean I guess I could, ya know, leave you out here so you can get sexually assaulted by a malicious gang member." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm coming with you." I said as I headed towards the passenger side of the tow truck.

"Okay." I heard him mumble. He ran ahead of me to open the door. "Watch your step." He held out his hand. I took it and climbed up into the vehicle. He shut the door and began on his way into the drivers' seat.

The inside smelled of cigarettes and alcohol. It reminded me of the stench that had fallen through the window earlier that morning. I tried not to breathe in through my nose. Other than the smell, it was fairly clean. Only a few tools scattered on the floor and dashboard.

He was now in buckling his seatbelt. He started it and then began driving down the road. I sighed.

A large portion of my mind wondered if I had made the proper decision getting into this truck with this man. I knew nothing of either…but an infinitesimally small part, just knew…I had somehow made the right decision.

We arrived shortly and I sat as I watched him take my truck back behind Big Dog's Auto.

"If you can just come inside for a moment…" he said as he opened the passenger door.

I nodded and got out. He unlocked a door on the side of the garage and I followed him in.

He switched on a light switch. At first it was dark, but then it gradually increased lighting the whole place up.

"You mind waiting right here?" He asked.

"No." I shook my head.

"Okay, good. Be right back."

And he was gone. This weird feeling stretched across from me and I felt alone. I could only hear his boots stepping across the cold ground.

I looked around the room. There were a few lockers on the far side of the room and random female pictures wearing skimpy swimsuits and high-heels along the wall. I would never understand why men would always love to spend their time staring at half-naked women rather than spending their time actually _with_ them.

I was standing on a large red rug with oil stains on it. A desk was over in the corner with a leather chair behind it. I walked over to the couch and plopped down. I sighed and wondered what Seth was doing—

"Crap!" I whispered. Seth was probably at that party. I had _completely_ forgotten about it. There was no use now. I didn't know where it was. _Maybe you should_—

"Okay," The guy walked back into the room. "I just need your lovely little signature on this dotted line and you may be off." He held out the yellow paper and a pen with the shop's name on it. After I had signed, he stared at my handwriting with a confused look. "Rey-neez-mey Cool-in."

I laughed at his attempt to pronounce my name properly. Believe it or not, I had heard worse. "Ruh-nez-may Cuh-lenn." I laughed at him. "Renesmee Cullen." I said simply. "Long story."

"Cullen?" He blinked. "Why does that sound so familiar?"

_Maybe because my parents are the go to physicians in almost the whole world. Maybe because my family is ranked on the Forbes' top 500 list as number 64. _

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Well, now you know my name. What's yours?"

"Sorry." He smirked. "I don't give out my information to strangers."

I rolled my eyes. "Right." I reached into my purse and pulled out a credit card. "You take Visa?"

"No." He shook his head.

"Okaayy…" I pulled out a fifty. "Here." I handed it to him. He gave it back.

"Sorry, I can't accept that."

I was getting aggravated. "Then what _do _you take?"

"We take Visa, cash, checks."

"So why won't you—Let me guess," I sighed. "You want a date?"

He laughed. "Can't I just be a nice stranger that wants to pay for a beautiful woman's tab?"

"I guess." I said slowly. "Are you sure there's no catch?"

"Definitely." He nodded. "No catch, whatsoever."

He led me out the same way we had come in. I walked over to a bench and sat down by the sign which read: Bus Stop.

He stared at me as I crossed my legs. I looked back at him. "What?"

"You need a ride. I can take you to wherever you need to be."

I smiled. "Aww. That's so sweet…but, um, I don't know where I need to be."

"You don't have a house?"

"Yeah…well, no, technically. I'm spending the summer with my grandfather Charlie Swan and his family. Ya see, I was invited to a party tonight, but then that truck broke and now, I have no clue as to where this party is."

His eyebrows quirked up. "Do you know whose party it is?"

"I forget his name…Jamey, Jason, Jay—"

"Jacob?"

"Yes! That's it. You know where it is?"

He nodded.

"Um, would you mind taking me there? I know it's rude to ask like this but—"

"I don't mind."

"Really? Thank you." He helped me off the bench and we walked over towards a small car. Some sort of Volkswagen. A cute little thing, too.

He opened the passenger side door and let me in. The seats were a soft, black leather and cool to touch. He shut my door and on his way over to the driver side he pulled his shirt over his head.

I couldn't shield the gasp that came when I saw his rippling muscles exposed into the soft moonlight. The color of his skin was so deep and tan that he was almost glowing; it really accentuated the dark tattoo that was located above his right hip. I couldn't tell what it was exactly, but it was beautiful. His body was amazing. His jeans hung low on his waist exposing a partial beginning of his v-cut. I counted eight abs. _Eight_.

Who was this guy?

He opened the door. And reached behind the seat. "Excuse me." he smirked. "I'm usually the kind of guy that leaves indecent exposure for the second meeting." I could feel my cheeks flush. He pulled out a black t-shirt and drew it over his head.

"So," He said as he got in. "How is it exactly you know Jacob?"

"I don't." I stated. "But, apparently, everyone else does. So I was just thrown into going."

"You don't want to go?"

"I…don't really care. I don't know him. I feel like it's rude. He doesn't even know me and it's not like I know him so…"

He nodded. "It's probably not as rude as your thinking."

"How do you know him?"

"Jacob?" he raised his eyebrows. I nodded. "We go _way_ back."

"Well, that's…" I caught sight of a large box in the floor.

"What's that?" he nodded at it.

"I don't know." I picked it up. It was wrapped in a blue paper with a bow on top. "There's a note." I pulled it off.

"What does it say?"

"_Thought you might need these for the after party. L."_ I looked up at him. He had a confused look on his face. "Make any sense to you?"

"Open it."

I sighed and peeled the paper back where the tape was.

I just stopped when I saw four words:_ Free bottle of lubrication_

"What?" He asked.

"Is this _L_ person your girlfriend?"

"I _really _hope so." He paused, "Then again, it could be Larry down the street…he's got a thing for mechanics. Why?"

I laughed. "I'm thinking that _whoever L _is, is supplying you a contraceptive." I saw him blush.

When we came to a stoplight he took the package from my hands and finished unwrapping.

The final product: A 150 pack box of Magnums.

"Told ya." I said with a smirk.

All he did was laugh awkwardly. "Wow. This is, um, quite embarrassing."

"I concur." I nodded.

"Sorry, if this offends you in any way—my girlfriend's just…unpredictable."

"Why would this offend me?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe you have a disbelief of using contraceptives. Maybe you believe in abstinence or—"

"No. I'm not a virgin." He smiled and I felt my face get redder by the second. "Oh, god! You didn't need to know that. Forget I said anything."

He laughed. "I'll take it to my grave."

"Only two can keep a secret if—"

"One of them is dead." He finished. "You gonna kill me? A total stranger. It makes sense."

I laughed. "Why would that make sense?"

"Well, for one, I'm still trying to figure out why you got into this car with a guy you don't even know."

"You can't be any worse than any of the guys I _do_ know." I shrugged.

"Touché." He smiled.

"Happy Birthday." I told him.

He smiled. "What makes you think that it's my birthday?"

"Okay, let me ask you something." I held up the condoms. "Do you usually receive large packages—no pun intended?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "It's my birthday."

"Must be a day of birthdays. How old are you?"

"Twenty-six."

"Nice."

The car stopped. He looked over at me. "We're here."

I looked up at the small house. It was made of red brick and the roof was fading. There was a swing on the porch and a motorcycle on the driveway.

"Thanks for the ride. It was…a very nice gesture, kind sir." I said as I got out of the car. I began making my way up the cobblestone pathway to the door. I made it up the steps and that was when I heard the car door shut. I looked behind me and the guy was following me.

"Would you like a tip?" I asked him stupidly.

He laughed. "No. Would you?"

"What?"

"Tip," he began. "If you're going to try and stalk someone, I wouldn't be so up front about it. They might get the wrong impression, call the law, file a restraining order—lots of dirty, filthy paper work that does absolutely nothing other than to kill trees."

I couldn't help laughing. "What are talking about?"

He sighed and opened the door. A lovely little chorus of "Jacob!" sounded and felt like it echoed through my brain.

I felt a giant wave of embarrassment wash over me. My heart froze and the blood fell from my face. I had never felt like that before. I was suddenly freezing despite it being eighty-seven degrees out. I looked up at him slowly.

"You…" I couldn't talk.

"Me." he laughed.

"Jacob?" I nodded in understanding. "Jacob."

"Hey Jake!" Seth came up to us. "I knew you'd bring Renesmee." Seth smiled at me and then looked over at Jake. "Billy's in the kitchen; he's waiting for you."

"Thanks." Jacob patted Seth's shoulder and walked into another room. The crowd swept in after him and I felt…sick.

Not vomit sick, just the kind of sick where when you've slept for hours and hours and you jump out of bed. Like a painful sway that forced a headache with. I held my palm to my head to try and ease the pounding. The sound of everything melted away from me and I could only hear the thumping of my heart.

"You okay." Seth's muffled voice brought me back to the present.

"Yeah." I cleared my head. "Perfect."

* * *

_"Happy Birthday, dear Jacob. Happy Birthday to you. _Make a wish!_" _Jacob closed his eyes and smiled softly as he blew out the candles. Where there was once fire was then replaced by soft flutters of smoke that dispersed into the air.

"Gift up!" A tall man in the corner shouted. "Get with it Jacob." He punched Jake's shoulder. "I got places to be, people to see. Let's get a move on."

"Yeah, Jared, because it's not like everyone you know isn't here." Jacob joked.

Jared rolled his eyes at him. "Ha-ha, Black. Just be glad it's your birthday…"

"Alright, boys." Sue laughed. I searched for her and found that she was sitting beside a man in a wheel chair. Half of his face was frozen. I could see that he had paralysis. I wondered who he was until he caught me looking at him. He smiled kindly, and I smiled at him as well. He leaned over to Sue and whispered something. I obviously couldn't hear this brief exchange of words, but then Sue nodded. I read her lips, "A Cullen." His eyes flipped up at me and with a tight mouth he nodded.

Eventually, everyone was leaving. I had watched as Jacob had opened numerous gifts of everything tool related…screwdrivers, wrenches, toolboxes, fuzzy dice.

I found myself looking at the row of pictures over the small fireplace in the living room. I saw one with a little tan boy with black hair—Jacob, I assumed. Jacob was sitting in a younger version of the man in a wheelchair's lap. I noted how loving they were. Jacob was happy, wide-eyed and grinning with his two front teeth missing. The man was smiling down on his son. I looked at the next one. It was of twin girls running away from an older Jacob than the first picture. The twins were older than Jacob…maybe twelve or so. Jacob looked around seven or eight. I walked to the end of the mantle and looked at the final picture. This one was of a beautiful woman with shoulder length black hair and soft brown eyes. Her smile looked like the one Jacob had flashed when we had first met. She supported her chin on her left hand, exposing a beautiful ring. It was white-gold with a circle of small diamonds and a striking pearl in the very center. The corners of the picture were tattered and faded. I looked closer at the ring…and then it was actually there.

I'm not saying that it magically _poofed _there. Obviously, but my eyes had just overlooked it.

It sat there on a marble finger under a glass dome. The setting reminded me of a scene from _Beauty_ _and_ _the_ _Beast. _When Belle finds the rose, with its petals wilting…this was just like that. Two of the diamonds had fallen out and the pearl had a smudge on it. Yet, it was still so breathtaking.

"Hey." I heard Jacob's voice. I turned and was greeted by a smiling Jacob.

"This is absolutely stunning." I pointed at the ring.

He sighed under his breath. "It's my mom's." He pointed at the picture of the woman, briefly.

I smiled. "You have her smile."

He looked down at the floor trying to hide his blush. "Thank you." He cleared his throat. "My great-great-grandfather used to wish on shooting stars in the night for the love of his life to just say _yes. _He gave this to her before he was drafted into the confederacy."

"I never knew a pearl could last that long…" I looked up at him.

"Pearls are like a heart."

"How so?" I questioned him. "Hearts get broken all the time. Hearts eventually stop beating."

He smiled at me, exposing an even softer side than I'd seen of him yet. "You're right. Hearts do break. Hearts fade away. But, before the break is something so powerful, it can almost stop time itself…Love." He cocked his head. "Have you ever tried to open an oyster, Renesmee?"

I pursed my lips trying to hold my whole body starting to pool around his feet. "Not…recently."

"They're basically sealed shut. You can't get in. The pearl can't come out. In most ways, love is like that. It holds on through everything that tries to destroy it. No matter what. Well, true love at least."

I was speechless. He threw me into a lagoon of awe. Who knew that Jacob was so sensitive? He was a beautiful guy on the inside as well as the out.

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?" An aggravating voice shot from behind us.

Leah…of course.

She was wearing none other than a bright red mini dress, barely crotch length. It was so tight it left nothing to the imagination…_Nothing._

"We're just talking—" I began.

"Look at my face," Leah pointed at herself. "I'm guessing it looks a lot like a person who doesn't care."

"Actually," I shrugged. "You're wrong, it looks a lot like a jealous bitch to me."

"Jealous?" She scoffed. "Of you? Please." She grabbed Jacob's bicep and fluttered her fake eyelashes. "Jakey, baby, I'm still kinda upset that you're not wearing the shirt I picked out for you."

"I'm sorry." He had the face of a dog that had just been kicked. "I got it dirty. I'll make it up though."

"Of course you will, Jakey." She talked in a sugar-sweet voice to him. "I know just how you're gonna do it, too." She grabbed his hand and looked at me with eyes of daggers. "I _really _need to take my frustrations out…Why don't we put your gift that I left you to good use?" And with that Jacob melted into her as much as I to him.

Jacob disappeared out the door with Leah without as much as a good-bye…

**WOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW! LEAH IS A BITCH! I LOVE IT; EVERYONE NEEDS A GOOD-OR BAD, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT-BITCH IN THEIR LIFE! POOR RENESMEE...AWWWW *SNIFFLES*...PLEASE REVIEW...I HAD MANY A PERSON READ THIS STORY AND FAVORITE, BUT THEY DIDN'T REVIEW...I SHOULDN'T BE PUSHY; I AAM JUST REALLY THANKFUL THAT YOU ACTUALLY ARE READING THIS...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! REVIEW! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!**

**~PrincessNessie23**

**P.S.: Does anyone like my Waldo Flower? *nudges UltimateTwihard513* It's my profile pic on here, btw. IT'S A WALDO PERIWINKLE FLOWER!**


	4. Dog in the Yard

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing********Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

"Look at my face," Leah pointed at herself. "I'm guessing it looks a lot like a person who doesn't care."

"Actually," I shrugged. "You're wrong; it looks a lot like a jealous bitch to me."

"Jealous?" She scoffed. "Of you? Please." She grabbed Jacob's bicep and fluttered her fake eyelashes. "Jakey, baby, I'm still kinda upset that you're not wearing the shirt I picked out for you."

"I'm sorry." He had the face of a dog that had just been kicked. "I got it dirty. I'll make it up though."

"Of course you will, Jakey." She talked in a sugar-sweet voice to him. "I know just how you're gonna do it, too." She grabbed his hand and looked at me with eyes of daggers. "I _really _need to take my frustrations out…Why don't we put your gift to good use?" And with that Jacob melted into her as much as I to him.

Jacob disappeared out the door with Leah without so much as a good-bye.

_

* * *

***I would like to dedicate this chapter to a song from my favorite singer in the WHOLE WORLD, Jamey Johnson. Jamey is mentioned a time or two in this chapter. The song's called 'Dog in the Yard'…It reminds me of Jacob and Leah's relationship…**_

**_"You scratch me, you pet me_**

**_And you fight me, and you even let me win…now and then._**

**_You scold me, you tease me_**

**_Then you hold me and tell me I'm your friend._**

**_Makin' love to you babe ain't so hard…You treat me like a dog in the yard."_**

**Ch. 4: Dog in the Yard**

_Ugh! _ I awoke the next morning with a pounding headache. I heard my heart thumping in my ears. I opened my eyes, only to see Leah pull the curtains back and let the light plunge deep into them. I shielded myself with my blanket.

"Do you _mind_?" I shouted at her aggressively. So aggressive that I wondered to myself where that part of me even came from.

"You didn't the other night." She muttered to me like she was talking to an inanimate object.

She was at the dresser getting ready for something. Like always, she was wearing a revealing outfit and putting on _way _too much eye liner. You could see her black bra under her white tank top.

I huffed at her and got out of bed. The last thing I needed to deal with was her at—

I looked at the clock on the wall. _One o'clock! Holy Crap! I've never slept that long in my life. I was usually up at seven or eight…_I cocked my head to the side, realizing for the first time in _years_ I had slept peacefully. Without nightmares. Without waking up and staring out the window wondering why I had to deal with such evil things.

I shook my head and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Then, a new nightmare began to eat away at me.

My mind flashed back to last night when Jacob had left with Leah. He had left without even turning around, looking back in my direction. No "good-bye". No "nice to meet you". No nothing. He let his hormones run him for the time being. I hated how he melted like putty in her hands. It aggravated me that she had him wound so tight around her little finger. She treated him like a dog…and he _allowed _it.

"I just don't know what to do, Sue." _Speak of the devil. _I heard Jacob's voice in the kitchen before I rounded the corner. I stopped to listen to him. He was very hesitant in the way he spoke; he measured his words too well.

"Leah absolutely _loathes_ my mother's ring. She doesn't realize that I can't afford the ten-thousand dollar one she picked out—and she won't let it go, either. She doesn't ask for anything anymore, she _tells. _I'm, actually, growing quite tired of it all."

Leah hates Jacob's mom's ring? But…_why? _It's so amazing. I know I would never turn down a gift that meant so much to someone. It would be rude. That's the way I was taught…He's getting tired of being with Leah? _That_ I understand. I know I would be. She was a bitch.

"Listen, Jacob." I heard Sue say to him gently, knowing how sensitive the subject matter was. "You know Leah's not the kindest person in the world…But you also know she _can_ be." _She can? What the duck? She should show it then. "_I can't tell you what to do; it's not my place to say…God will let it work out in time."

Jacob probably nodded here. "You're right, Sue. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Jake." Sue said. "Well, I'm sorry to leave you, baby, but I have to go to work. See you at dinner?" I heard a pair of keys lift off the counter.

"Um," Jacob mumbled. "No ma'am. Leah and I will get something after we leave the concert."

"Okay. Have fun, Jake." And then the front door closed.

I heard Jacob sigh and when I entered the kitchen his head was in his hands, an aggravated huff left his lips. When he heard me, he looked up with a lopsided grin that served a twinge of guilt in my heart...but I hadn't a clue what that was about.

"Good morning, stalker." He said.

I only rolled my eyes at him.

"Hey," He waved. "Ya know, in South Carolina, when someone says 'hello' or 'good afternoon' the person receiving the gratitude is supposed to respond with a kind gesture."

I opened the fridge and flipped him off.

"I said _kind_ gesture." But he took me about as serious as Shaquille O'Neal in a lobster suit considering the chuckle under his breath.

I pulled out a carton of orange juice and a cup from the cabinet.

"Silent Treatment? Or are we playing charades? I'm good at that." I looked up at him. He looked down with another of his smiles. "Can you at least tell me what I did to piss you off?"

"Why don't _you_ tell _me_?" I slammed the juice on the counter.

"I'm…sorry?" He tried to apologize without even attempting to answer.

"But why? What reason are you to be sorry for, Jacob?" I quirked.

"I truly don't know—"

"Just forget it." I shook my head. "Just…"

"Hey," He stood up from his chair slowly and walked over to my side. I felt his warm breath on my face as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I really hurt you…" He mumbled. I pulled back at the awkwardness of his being so close to me.

"It's nothing I can't get over." I said it and immediately regretted the words for some reason. He nodded and walked back to the chair. He flipped it around and sat down.

"How can I repay you?" Jacob spoke in a deep southern accent that would make _any _girl melt, especially with the way his black hair dipped into his eyes. I fought the smile on my lips and lost.

"I'm sure you'll find a way." I told him.

"So, why are you here?" I said as I sat down with a bowl of cereal across the table from him.

"Leah is taking me out to a concert." He said it in a way that almost sounded unsure, like he couldn't believe she would do something like that. Again…_totally _understandable.

"Ooh, spiffy." I nodded. "Who for?"

"Jamey Johnson." Then, I died.

"J-J-Jamey-Jamey Johnson. Like, _the _Jamey Johnson?" I almost fell to my knees from the chair. "As in deep, Southern, country blues Jamey Johnson?"

"I'm assuming you like him?" He laughed.

"Hell to the YEAH!" I screamed. "He's like the greatest thing since Eddie Munster! He helped me get through some _very _dark times in my life."

"Dark times?" He looked at me disbelievingly. "Such as…?"

I felt my shoulders hunch. "Just…some things."

"Right. Sorry. It's not my place to ask." He nodded. I was sure that he was aware that this was almost the exact same thing Sue had said to him earlier.

"You don't have to work today?" I asked changing the subject.

"Uh, no. Leah practically threatened my boss into my getting out today." He explained.

I laughed. "So, my truck's sitting up there at BDA rusting in the sun?"

He laughed as well. "Yeah, blame _me _for the thing turning decrepit."

It was quiet for a few minutes as I finished my breakfast. I looked up at him. He was thinking about something I could see it in the way he bit his bottom lip. He looked over at me with narrowed eyes.

I gave him the same look. He smiled.

Just when I was thinking about how weird this was, he spoke:

"How would _you_ like to go to party tonight?"

"Hmm…" I looked out of the window by the table. "I'll have to check my schedule, but I think I _may _have an opening." He smiled and I couldn't believe how adorable he looked. "What kind of party?" I asked.

"My party." I quirked a brow. "By this, I mean my _real_ party. Kind of like the after party."

"A day later?" I stood and carried my bowl to the sink.

"Yeah. It's the only time we can use the club."

"Club?" My ears immediately perked up.

"_Eclipsed. _It's in Aiken. Best place around." He told me. "Party starts at ten. You in?"

I bit my lip. "I would love too—"

"Good morning, baby." Leah walked in. She pulled herself into Jacob arms and grabbed tightly onto his butt. He jumped a little at the contact, but then he crashed her lips to his almost instantaneously.

I tried to ignore them, but it felt like the wind had been knocked out of me at that moment. I wanted to fall into a black hole where I would suffocate from lack of oxygen. I wanted to get mauled by a bear or any sort of experience that would involve my demise.

I didn't understand this. I didn't _have_ Jacob…he isn't _my _boyfriend. No, that's Nahuel—he's mine…not this guy; I barely know him. Jacob's Leah's. Leah's Jacob's. That's how it is…what was up with me lately?

_Not everything's about you…_I gasped, quietly as I heard the voice. It was _her_. She was here…in the room. I couldn't see her; I only heard her.

Of course, she wouldn't make an appearance in my dreams because she would rather do it while I'm in public. So I could look like a mental patient. A straight up Lindsay Lohan accomplice from Betty Ford.

I froze. I was glad I had already put the glass in the sink; I would have dropped it now. It would have crashed onto the floor, and scattered across the tile in billions of pieces…like my heart was doing.

_Actually, _I heard her speak again. _This time…it might._

A gust of wind whistled loudly through the room and I knew she was gone.

I sucked in a breath. I was only trying to heave in the oxygen that had escaped me. But of course Leah took advantage of this situation and thought I was gasping at the two of them. She jerked herself away from Jacob's lips. She put a hand on her hip and rolled her eyes at me. "Enjoy the show?" She asked.

Jacob looked at me. The look on his face…it pained me.

I couldn't speak. I only ran out of the room, trying to escape what had happened, and ended up crawling into my bed, dying to leave the world.

* * *

Breathing.

That was all I could try concentrate on at the moment. Just breathing…

I can see Jacob laughing in front of me—whether at me or with me, I'll never know. I can hear the pity music playing on the strings of my heart, but it's only another thing to add to my list of "things I can't explain."

It's not like I have a _thing _for Jacob…right? I mean, yeah, he's funny, sweet, sensitive, and not to mention gorgeous—ooh! He's got a great body too…

But.

He's also with Leah.

If it weren't for her…

What? What am I saying? If it weren't for her, what? What would I do? Would I ask Jacob out? Would I allow myself to fall for him? Of course I would…common sense.

What was going on with me? I already have a boyfriend…Nahuel Medeiros.

Nahuel's great. He's funny…sometimes. He's sweet…when he's not pissed about something which is not that rare…at all. He's sensitive…_seldom. _

But.

He _is_ handsome and he has a football body, too.

Even _if_ Jacob wasn't with Leah, I couldn't leave Nahuel. I just…couldn't.

I sighed and turned off the shower nozzle.

I had been dwelling on the Leah/Jacob/Renesmee subject ever since they had left the house.

I had awoken from a much needed nap even though I had _just _woken up from almost _twenty hours of sleep_. I had gotten in the shower to wash off the cold sweat I had burst into from running in my nightmare away from _her. _

That wasn't the only reason, though. I had that party at ten for Jacob. And it was already, like, eight forty…so what if I had slept the entire day? I had needed it.

I pulled back the shower curtain and got a towel off the rack. I walked to the counter and wiped away the steam. When I saw my face in the mirror, I looked exhausted…_What the hell? _

I shook my head and brushed my wet hair. It hung at the bottom of my shoulder blades in soft waves. 

I unlocked the bathroom door and walked out into the hallway. When I reached my room, I rolled my eyes at the cowboy hat on the doorknob, knowing good and _well _why it was on there.

I banged on the door. "Leah! I need to get in there! Please stop _doing _whatever you're doing!"

What I heard as a response was an exasperated, panting: "_OH_! _Jacob! JACOB! Fuck me, _JAKE!_"_

I huffed and gave up. Let them have their moment…every time they're alone with one another.

I knew Sue had done my laundry last night, so I was thankful when I found my undergarments neatly folded in a laundry hamper downstairs labeled "Leah's room". I scrounged through the basket until I found a pair of my underwear and my bra. Yay…

I put them both on and walked upstairs. I carried the basket to Leah's door and walked over to Seth's room.

I poked my head in the door, trying not to expose myself too much. I mean, Seth _was _family…but I was sure he wasn't opposed to ogling.

"Seth?" I spoke once I had opened the door. I froze when I saw Seth wasn't alone. Two other guys were with him. A blonde guy lay stretched out on Seth's bed reading a muscle car magazine. The other, a light tan boy with eyebrow piercings was playing a videogame with Seth. None of them looked up. I guessed the game was too loud.

"Seth, can I borrow a shirt?" I shouted loud enough so he could hear me. And it fell silent in the room. The game was—as if on cue—over and all of their eyes fell on me.

"HOT DAAYYUUMM, GIRL!" Pierced eyebrows hooted at me, making me uncomfortable. He had a grin on his face that made my skin crawl. "Santa got my letter." He looked over at the blonde boy who only nodded and then went back to his magazine. "Naw, just kidding." He clasped his together. "I asked for my ho to have less coverage."

"Excuse me—" I began only to be interrupted by Seth.

"Collin, stop being an ass." Seth ordered him. "Go to my closet and give her a shirt. That's what she asked for, not to be molested by you." I swallowed unpleasantly.

Collin rolled his eyes and went into Seth's closet.

Seth looked at me with pity eyes. "Sorry." He said. "He's not house trained."

"I can tell." I mumbled.

"That's Brady." Seth nodded towards the blonde boy.

He looked up and threw a small wave. "Hi."

"Hello." I told him as Collin walked out of Seth's closet with a shirt.

"Collin." Seth said, flatly looking at the clothing. "Have some decency to not give her a white one." Collin sighed and went back into the closet. "Dick." Seth muttered as he restarted his videogame. Seth didn't ask why I came to his room without any clothes on; he only assumed why. "They at it again?" He asked.

"I _assume_ that's why there's a cowboy hat on the door…they _could_ be just playing Scrabble." I leaned against Seth's dresser.

"Scrabble." Brady snorted. "If that's what they're calling it these days."I laughed at the way he deadpanned.

The sun shot through a window and down onto the floor making something practically glow on the floor. I looked down. An unmistakable title printed across the top of the cover of a magazine: _Playboy. _I laughed quietly as I picked it up and flipped through it.

"Miss June?" I said and unfolded the middle pages. Seth's head immediately snapped up from the game. His face went bright red and suddenly scratching his head seemed like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

The bottle-blonde centerfold lay completely nude on a white bed with a gleaming smile. I laughed, again. "Wow, guys."

Seth was almost purple by now. I think he stopped breathing. Brady just rolled his eyes and just kept flipping through his own magazine.

I looked at them both. "You know girls don't really look like this, right?"

"Apparently," Collin came up behind me with a green shirt. His lips inches from my ear as he whispered: "they do." He pulled the magazine from my hands.

"Flattered." I said as I grabbed the shirt from him. I put it on and walked straight across the room as far away from him as I could. I sat on the edge of the bed next to Brady.

Brady looked like a pretty boring guy to me. His blonde hair hung in his eyes. His pale blue eyes held no depth when he looked at you. He was just…boring.

Collin, on the other hand, was an attractive guy—personality aside. He had soft green eyes and light brown hair that almost matched his skin. His eyebrows, ears, and bottom lip all had some sort of metal piecing in them…I was afraid to observe anywhere else on him.

"Where are you going?" Seth asked me, trying to make conversation.

"A club." I shrugged.

"You've been in Wagener for about three days now, how many clubs could you possibly know about?"

I laughed. "It's actually Jacob's party."

Seth was quiet. His facial expression turned droopy. "He didn't…invite me." He said in a weary voice.

"Dude," Collin said to Seth, kindly. "What's it going to take for you to realize that Jacob _isn't _going to leave your sister to have a homosexual relationship with you?"

Seth rolled his eyes…but he didn't deny anything.

Just then, I heard my bedroom door open across the hall. I got up and walked out of Seth's room.

There he was.

_Jacob._

He walked out of Leah's room with his hair in disarray. He was buttoning his shirt when he caught my gaze. He froze and then wiped his lips. He glanced down at my attire and looked at my face. He smiled awkwardly as he retrieved the cowboy hat from the door and put it on his head. He waved to me as he began down the stairs. He didn't look like _Jacob_, though. He looked…stunned almost. Like a disembodied alien-like Jacob…_Weird…_

Leah followed after him from out of the room. She smirked at me in triumph, like she had just won a gold medal.

I heard them talk quietly at the foot of the stairs.

"I thought you said that we were alone." Jacob whispered…shamefully?

"My mistake." Leah purred. "In my defense…" she sighed. "_totally _worth it."

I took a deep breath as I heard the front door open and walked into the room.

The whole area reeked of kinkiness.

Plus, my sheets were on the floor. My. Sheets. Were. On. The. Floor. I looked over to Leah's. Nothing looked like it had been touched.

I ran to the balcony for fresh air and saw leaning making out with Jacob at his car. No, scratch that. She was full on assaulting him with her tongue. _She might as well just get on her knees there._

"Hey!" I shouted down at her. She pulled away and glared at me. "Why is three-fourths of my bed on the floor?"

"Why do you think?" She smiled like the devil.

"UGH!" I growled at her and walked back into the room.

"Checkmate…" I heard her say to Jacob.

"Why?" I heard him say and I stopped right outside the door. "Why would you do that? We aren't five, Leah. Why do you have to constantly fight with Renesmee?"

I half-smiled at his attempt to defend me.

"I'm sorry, Jacob." Leah's voice grew agitated. "Do you have a newgirlfriend you aren't telling me about?"

"No, that's not it—"

"Then, just save it Jacob." She snarled. "See you at the party."

About fifteen seconds later I heard Leah get into her car and drive away. Jacob stayed for a moment and then I heard him kick his tire in frustration.

* * *

I had decided upon leaving the door open and the balcony as well just to let the room…air out.

I pulled out my suitcase and scrounged through it. I was looking for one skirt in particular. My white denim skirt that was so short that the pockets hung out at the bottom. I paired that with my silk deep violet blouse. One sleeve was long and slit while the other side didn't have a sleeve at all. Nahuel had always like when I wore either piece. I put on my stilettos and did my makeup with a smoky eye and powerful lips.

After I was done getting dressed, I walked over Seth's room.

"How do I look?" I asked them. "Enough to make Leah envious?" I twirled once.

Before Seth could answer Collin spoke first…_of course. _

"Brownie points if you take your bra off."

"Read your Playboy." I told him with a smirk.

"I'd rather watch porn." He shrugged and killed some kind of ghost on his videogame.

"You should've been in the other room a few minutes ago. They had a field day in there."

"You look great." Seth said. "You'll make any guy at the party want you."

"Like Embry." Brady laughed. That was the first time he'd really ever shown emotion. "Poor guy ain't ever gonna catch a break."

"Who's Embry?" I asked.

"This guy who basically has no life other than to be around Jacob." Collin said. "He lives with his mom. Has no girl. His dad left when he before he was even born."

"Oh." I nodded. As I began to leave Seth called out to me.

"Yeah?" I asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"How do you plan on getting into a club?"

"Oh, I'm just going to take Collin's advice."

"She's gonna watch porn?" Collin asked someone.

"No, idiot." Brady said. "She's not going to wear a bra."

* * *

I arrived at _Eclipsed_ by_ bus _at around nine-thirty.

The streets were illuminated by light posts that people must have been too lazy to take the Christmas lights off of. The cars drove by me and honked their horns…_awkward_.

I figured I had time to spare a phone call to Victoria. I knew she would be dying to know how everything was going and pissed that I haven't emailed her.

_Ring…Ring…Ring…Ring—_

_Hello? _A deep male voice answered her phone.

I gasped. "James! Oh my god! How are you?" I squealed.

_Hey Renesmee! _He mimicked my tone. I could hear him smiling. _I'm great. What about you? Vicky said you left for South Cackalackie._

I laughed. "Yeah. I did. Nothing permanent, just visiting my grandpa. What have you been up to?"

_Ah, you know me…_He laughed. _What haven't I been up to? _

It was great to hear James' voice. He was someone I could count on, too. He was amazing. He was like a brother to me. My always-high brother. He was great despite his "job" as a drug dealer…though he did get paid well and gave Victoria everything she wanted.

"Right on, man." I laughed. "Where's V at?"

_Well, love you too… _He chuckled. _No, um, actually, Vick's in the shower right now. I could get her to call you ba— _He paused. _She's out. _He held the phone from his mouth. _Vicky, _I heard him shout. _Nezzymee's on the phone. _I heard her squeal.

I could imagine Victoria running out of the bathroom with a towel around her and her hair in a sloppy, wet bun on the top of her head. I could see her pushing James down on the bed to get him out of the way and snatching the phone from him.

_RENESMEE CULLEN! _She scolded me. _Why the _hells_ have you not called, texted, or messaged me?_

I sighed and stepped into an alley right outside of Eclipsed. I leaned against the wall. "There was an…altercation."

_Well, it must've been a damn good altercation for me to think you've been abducted by balloon boy._

"It was _her._" I told her quickly.

She gasped. _Wait. Go back and define altercation. _

"Okay. How about she picked up my laptop and launched at the wall while I was emailing Nahuel? Is that a good definition? It was awful. My grandfather heard me screaming at her and rushed the room with a gun!"

_Ooh, that's not good. _She paused. _So, she literally picked it up? Has that ever happened before, like, something…physical towards you?_

"No. It hasn't, which freaks me out to the nth degree. It just makes me wonder what else she can do…" I almost whispered. "She tries to manipulate me—to make me crack under pressure. She made an appearance at breakfast, too."

_Oh, wow. Is it me or is she showing up way more often?_

I thought about that. The Ice Queen really had been showing up a lot recently. I wondered what that was about. _Not everything's about you. Actually…this time it might. _I could hear her as clear as the night sky. What did she mean it's not about me, but it might be?

I huffed. "I hate her." I decided. "I wish I could kill her—" I stopped when I saw a tall figure outside the alleyway staring at me. "Jacob." I said in mortification. "Hey…" He didn't speak. I wondered how much he had heard. He probably knows I'm certifiably psychotic. "V, I'll talk to you later." I told Victoria.

_What? Who? No—_I hung up the phone.

"Don't worry." Jacob said, stepping into the streetlights. "She'll come around eventually."

"If she hasn't by now—wait what?" I asked. _Oh my God. He knows._

Jacob looked around and shoved his hands in his pockets. "We _are _talking about Leah, right? If not, I feel like an idiot."

I smiled. "Am I early?" I said trying to change the subject.

"Just a bit." He smiled and reached out a hand to help me off wall. "You can come inside while the DJ picks out some songs…ya know, if you want…"

"I'd love too." I told him.

"That wasn't an important phone call…was it?" He asked. He stared into my eyes with a soft smile. I realized he was still holding my hand.

"Not _too _important."

* * *

"So, I'm thinking a little Jamey Johnson to start this shindig off." Jacob said holding up Jamey's cd 'The Guitar Song.'

"_Shindig?_" I laughed. "Who says that anymore?"

"I do." Jacob laughed back.

"So when's the DJ supposed to get here?" I asked walking around the dance floor. It was the kind with the blocks that you step on and they light up. Amaze!

"You're already talking to him." He said.

"You can't be the DJ to your own party." I told him.

"Who says I can't?"

"Me."

He chuckled. "And who says your opinion matters."

"Yikes, that was supercilious." I looked mock offended.

He smiled and looked above my head at the light. "Dammit." He whispered. He looked at me. "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?" I asked as he disappeared into the hallway.

"The light above you," He shouted out to me. "it blew last week. Demetri, the club owner, told me where the bulbs were to fix it." He came a few moments later with a long light.

"Would you like to hand me that?" He asked pointing to a chair beside me. I carried it to him and he stood up on it. "Hold me." He said, sweetly. I laughed and held onto his calves.

He lodged one side of the light into a boltything. He looked at the other end. "Do me a favor?"

I nodded.

"Get another chair and pushed that side in for me."

I pulled another chair around and climbed up like he said, pushing the other end in. He came up behind me and held my chair.

"Ya know," I smiled down at him. "I'm thinking this was just a ploy to see up my skirt."

He laughed. "You caught me."

I laughed. Then, it happened. I turned in the chair too quickly and fell onto the floor with Jacob under me. I could feel my cheeks turning red. "I'm sorry." I said and he just stared at me with a breathtaking gaze that I almost melted against him. It would have been so easy right no to just lay my head on him and forget everything…everyone. NO. I shook my head. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

"You're apologizing…for falling?" He asked in a husky voice.

"Yeah. I'm just a klutz. I fall sometimes, but only when I'm so nervous that I can't concentrate."

"You're nervous right now?" He smiled, shadily.

I laughed timidly. "Sometimes I just wish I had my father's stamina—unlike my mother who constantly falls. Past, present, and future-tense. Fell. Falls. Will fall—"

"So, I'll say that's a yes?" He eyed me.

"You don't make me nervous, Jacob." I whispered to him. It wasn't until now that I realized how close our faces were. His lips less than three inches from my own.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He whispered back.

"Strangely," I smiled down on him. "in this compromising position…no. I feel no discomfort whatsoever." I rolled off of him, got up off the floor, and went to the emcee table. As I was flipping through CDs Jacob seemed to be mesmerized. He was still on the floor. He closed his eyes.

I wanted so badly to know what he was thinking about then. Me? Wishing I were Leah? _Oh, I'm so full of myself._

"Jakey?" His eyes snapped open as soon as he heard her heels clacking on the tile floor. She walked in. "Why are you on the filthy floor?" Leah kneeled down to his side. The way she had said this sounded like an accusation.

"Proposition?" I mumbled. Her eyes glared up at me.

"Why are you here?" She hissed.

"Like I said," I stared at her. "Proposition."

"Who the _hell_ do you think you are?" She shouted at me. "What jackass invited you anyway?"

"_I _invited her." Jacob told Leah getting off the ground.

"Jacob," Leah tried to say evenly. "I need to talk to you."

"Mmm'kay." He leaned against a chair. "Talk to me."

"Privately." She whispered. She was growing impatient. Like a ticking bomb. _Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Just say it."

_BOOM! _"Kick her out." She said, crossing her arms. My mouth dropped.

"What?" Jacob's voice fell. His face was shocked, like he couldn't believe Leah could say such a thing.

"Kick. Her. Out." She said it as if she were finalizing a deal.

"Why? Why would I do that?" Jacob asked her. His voice was dark. "I _invited _her. It wouldn't be right uninviting her."

"I'm your girlfriend. You listen to me and what I say goes." Jacob had that face again. The one that look like a dog that had been kicked.

He looked up at me with glowing eyes of pity. I shook my head an infinitesimally amount at him. _He wouldn't. He won't. He can't._

He looked at the ground and backed up at me. "You, um…you need" He swallowed and stopped looking at me. "You need to leave, Renesmee."

My jaw dropped even lower and I immediately closed it. I felt like I'd just been kicked in the stomach with unbearable force. I bit lip. She didn't need to know that she was winning.

"Nice, Jacob." I managed to say. "It's great to know who holds the dick in your relationship." I began out the door and as I brushed past a smirking Leah I told Jacob to: "Be sure to call me when you get your balls back."

* * *

I stormed inside the house, slamming the door behind me. Grandpa was on the recliner watching television. Seth was on the couch with Brady on his left; no Collin to be found.

"What happened?" Grandpa asked in a concerned voice. He stared up at me.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I lied as I run up the stairs. I fell onto the bed and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Renesmee?" Seth whispered to me as he walked through the door. He sat down on the bed beside me and placed a hand on my back. "Why aren't you at Jake's party?" He asked.

"He kicked me out."

He seemed taken aback. "Why?"

"Because your sister is a bitch. An evil, lying, conniving whore. That has absolutely nothing better to do than Jacob and ruining my life." I was surprised at how sturdy my voice was.

"I don't understand. What does Leah have to do with Jacob throwing out of his party?"

"She told him too…so he did." I sat up, ashamed that I was crying over all of this. I wiped the tears away. This was ridiculous. I shouldn't care what Jacob does. He had no control over me. I was my own person. No, this was the same speech I had given myself…before—

"GET OUT!" Leah burst through the door and shouted to Seth. "NOW!"

"Naw," he waved her off. "Don't want to miss anything good."

"OUT!" Leah and I both shouted at him.

"Meow…" He made a feisty kitten claw in the air and left out the room. Leah slammed the door behind him.

She stared at me with piercing eyes. "How. Dare. You." She began. "How dare you? Thanks to you, the best thing that has ever happened to me—"

"Thanks to me?" I jumped off the bed and looked her square in the eye.

"Yes." Her voice shook, but not from intimidation…something else. "Jacob broke up with me…because of you. He stormed out before anyone even arrived."

I was shocked that Jacob had broken it off with her. They were "madly in love" to Leah, but "madly in love" had its own definition to Leah. But to Jacob…I don't know. I knew that he thought…

"It was already going downhill." I told her in fierce voice that even scared my own self. "You had to have known. The way you treat him like your slave. You don't even respect him." She was shrinking back. I was dominating her for once. She didn't want to hear any of this. She squeezed her eyes shut; she knew that every word that came from my mouth was nothing but truth. I needed something to push her over the edge. "I overheard him talking to your mom this morning…and the way he made you sound…" I shook my head. "Selfish. You don't care about him—"

"That's bull—"

"No." I told her calmly. "It's reality…and you know damn well that it is." I exhaled strongly.

"I'll change." She breathed out through the tears that were welling out of her eyes. She was actually being decent at the moment. My instinct was to comfort her, but I couldn't find it in my heart to _want _to. "I will. He loves me. He'll want me back…all I gotta do is change."

"I think it's a little too late, for that." I told her…and she was back.

"Get out!" She screamed at me and pointed towards the door with a middle finger. "I don't want to see you ever again! You think you know me, bitch…but you are so wrong. The games have just begun and I'm not a good sport." She smiled evilly. "Let's play."

"First step is admitting you have a problem." I muttered to her putting my flip flops. "Get over yourself, Leah." I walked calmly out of the room.

"Where're ya going?" Grandpa asked as I walked passed him. Seth was back on the couch. Brady was staring at me like I was an extraterrestrial.

"On a walk." I told them before making an escape out the backdoor.

* * *

_So we ended up having to grease Liam out of the highchair. _Bree laughed to me on the other end of the phone. I decided to just sit on a hay bale in the middle of the barn. Chickens walked around me. Every so often one would look up at me like it was going to peck my eyeballs out, but otherwise they ignored me.

I laughed with her. "I thought ya'll would have learned your lesson the time when he got his elbow stuck in the screen door."

_Hey, the next time _you_ try convincing a four-year old that he's not Elasto-boy, we'll talk. _

I smiled. It was great hearing Bree's voice_. _I missed her so much. Now was the time that I needed her comfort the most, but I guessed a phone call would be the closest thing to actually being next to her.

_I met a guy. _She said quietly.

"Really?" My eyebrows flew up. "Who's this lucky guy that Bree Hart has allowed to tickle her fancy?"

_His name is Diego. _

"Diego." I nodded. "Sounds mysterious. I can dig it. Where'd you meet him?"

_You remember when V was talking about one of James' friends that had finished high school, in college now?_

"I think so. The one she was talking about when we were packing?"

_Yep. _

"So…?"

_He's really kind and totally respectful of my parents—honestly, I can't figure out how he's friends with James._

I laughed. "James knows _everyone_."

It was quiet for a minute and then she asked: _Who's Jacob? _

"W-what?" I asked quietly scratching my head. "How do you know about…?"

_Victoria. _She said. _She called me about an hour ago. She said that she was talking to you about...her_. _And then you hung up, talking to some person named Jacob._

"Oh." Was all I could say.

_Well…? _

I sighed. "He's just this guy."

_Oh, he must be related to that vague fellow on that nebulous street in that ambiguous area._

I rolled my eyes. "He's a just a super nice, super sweet, super funny—"

_Any relation to that dude in the tights? You know the one that flies around saving the world?_ _Big 'S' on his shirt?_

"Maybe." I smiled that particular smile that came over me when I talk to/about Jacob, but then I remembered the incident of tonight and it soon faded away.

_How did you_ _meet this Jacob? _

"He's just…a friend of my grandpa's." I shrugged, even though I knew she couldn't see me.

_He's old? _She asked.

"No. He's twenty-six."

_Is he cute? _

"Definitely. About a nine-point-three on the adorability scale."

_Wow. You don't even rate _Nahuel_ a nine on the adorability scale. _I could hear the cheer in her voice.

"But Jacob does get an extra point for being polite, but he was such a jerk tonight—"

"Good to know." I froze when I heard his strong voice. I turned my head slowly. He was a few feet behind me with his hands hidden in his pockets. His white cowboy hat leaning down in his eyes. He peered through it to me with sad eyes. He smiled wearily.

I ignored him and kept talking to Bree. "So, how's Liam?"

_We've already talked about Liam, R. _She reminded me.

"I don't care—"

"Renesmee…" Jacob whispered. "Can we talk?" He asked.

I looked up at him again. He was walking over to me. He sat down on the barn floor next to a cluster of hens. They scurried away from him. "I'm on the phone, Jacob."

"I'll wait." He said.

_Jacob's there? _Bree asked.

"Yes." I told her. "But I'm ignoring him." I said more to him than Bree.

"Just a moment?" He put on a sad face that made him look like he was about to cry. I sucked in a breath quietly at the pity. "I just want to talk about what happened tonight."

"Jacob." I told him kindly. "This phone call is _just _as important as the one from earlier."

"But the one earlier wasn't important." He was acting like a three year old, but his face…Oh, his face…

He stared at me with those warm brown eyes…I was losing it.

"Bree," I sighed. "Please, dude, just talk to me."

_Talk to _Jacob_. He sounds cute. _I heard a smile in her voice.

"No, I want to talk to you. My _friend_."

_What mom? _Bree shouted out. _Sure, I'll be right there._

I rolled my eyes. "Your mother did not call you."

_You can't prove that. _She said just as the line went dead.

"Real mature." I muttered into the receiver. I looked up reluctantly at Jacob. "What?"

"I'm sorry." He said coming to sit next to me.

"I'm not going to forgive you that easily." I told him crossing my arms.

"Really?" Jacob shook his head. "And here I thought that I was super nice and super sweet and super funny. My mistake."

I felt my face flush for almost the millionth time today. "You heard all that?"

"I'm an expert eavesdropper." He smirked at me. "I grew up with two sisters. It's practically my forte." He exhaled. "But I _am_ sorry…for everything. For kicking you out under force." He paused. "For leaving with Leah yesterday without saying goodbye." I half-smiled. "That's what you were mad about this morning, right?" I looked at the ground. He smiled. "For making you love me so much—"

"Shutup!" I laughed and pushed his shoulder. "I don't love you."

He looked out at the moon. "Well…you're not the only one."

"I heard you guys…um, broke up." I mumbled.

"It was headed there anyway." He shrugged.

"No." I looked up at him. "It was headed to Floyd & Greene's."

"It's my fault." He whispered, catching my gaze. "I let her have whatever she wanted. I let her walk all over me. I did everything she craved."

"But Jacob that's not love." I told him softly. I put a hand on his knee. "Giving into carnal cravings every minute isn't love. You can't do that—"

"You don't tell me what to do." He told me in suddenly severe voice. "You don't make my decisions. You don't know what I've gone through in my life—"

"And you have the faintest clue as to what _I've _gone through in _my_ lifetime?" I nearly shouted. "Jacob, you want to know? My life was one of the worst things a person has ever had to go through—"

He scoffed. "Please. I bet you have both your parents?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Money? Education—allow me to answer that." He jumped up and looked down on me. "A little Cullen. You're loaded. You're going to some Ivy League college like Princeton or Harvard—right?"

"No—"

"Then Daddy Cullen will just buy you're way in. Ask and ye shall receive policy—"

"You have no right to talk to me like this!" I stood up and poked him in his chest. I was barely up to his pecs in height, but I stood firm. "It's nothing like you think! I barely ever see or hear from my parents and when I _do_ it's over Skype or-or a phone call—maybe even a two minute breakfast."

"But you have them?" He said more calmly but still harsh.

"Yes, but Jacob that's not the point—"

"To me it is." And he left. Gone again. He pulled his hat over his eyes and just backed out.

What had started out as Jacob and I laughing had turned even worse by each hour.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and kicked a feed bucket causing the chickens to run away from me as fast as they could.

WHO THE HELL DID HE THINK HE WAS? HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME AT ALL. HE THINKS I'M A SPOILED BRAT THAT COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ANYTHING. HE'LL LEARN…

_In time, he'll learn it all…_

***Alright! Thanks for reading this chapter. This one and definitely the next are a few of my favorites. The next chapter is titled, "Don't Hate, Make a Date"…I'll let you guess what's going to happen in that…nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. **

***Something was brought to my attention in a previous review from: _Appearence Decieved._ I understand that you may not understand the whole, "Frozen Ice Queen" thing. Yes, I know. It's a little sketchy. Just think of it like how Victoria described her in chapter 1. She's very similar to a _Ghost Whisperer _type thing. I know it's difficult to comprehend but try. She's key to the plot points later on.**

***REVIEW!**


	5. Don't Hate, Make A Date

***Heyyyyy! I don't really have much to say, but have fun reading this chapter. I'm a fan of the Jake/Ness/Leah thing. LOVE!**

***Appearence Decieved, I don't mind explaining—trust me, you weren't the only questioning reader. ;) **

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing********Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

"Yes, but Jacob that's not the point—"

"To me it is." And he left. Gone again. He pulled his hat over his eyes and just backed out.

What had started out as Jacob and I laughing had turned even worse by each hour.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and kicked a feed bucket causing the chickens to run away from me as fast as they could.

WHO THE HELL DID HE THINK HE WAS? HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME AT ALL. HE THINKS I'M A SPOILED BRAT THAT COULD CARE LESS ABOUT ANYTHING. HE'LL LEARN…

_In time, he'll learn it all…_

**Ch. 5: Don't Hate, Make a Date**

A full week passed from all of the drama that had unfolded to my feet. I was left to scour my life of all the wrong I was feeling…but a part of me didn't want to try to clean up everything that had happened. I hadn't given up that supposed fight with my heart on whether or not I enjoyed Jacob as more than a complicated acquaintance.

I hadn't heard from him since that treacherous night in the barn when he had basically yelled at me for being a spoiled brat, telling me I cared for no one but my own self.

Actually, to come to think of it…_No one _had mentioned Jacob. No one had even acknowledged Jacob's existence—it was literally as though he had fallen off the face of the earth. He could have died and the news never would have made it anywhere close to my earshot.

I began to think that Leah was the reason for all of this—because you know, when in doubt, blame the grouch. No, but seriously, whenever Seth said almost _anything_ regarding Billy (who I now know for a fact is Jacob's dad and the man in the wheelchair from the party at Jacob's house), Leah would lose it. She would absolutely go bipolar. She would scream profanities at the dinner table, Grandpa would threaten to get his Taser, and Sue would yell at him for saying such inane things…honestly, there were times I'd just wish that I were back home, wrapped up in Nahuel's arms. Other times were worth it though.

Like on Thursday night, I witnessed a miracle when a cow delivered an almost fully black newborn baby calf; she had a white spot in between her eyes almost in the perfect shape of a heart. It was nice to know _something_ was going right after all.

Which brings me to today.

It was a typical day. I was sitting on the couch with Seth on my right; he was flipping through channels on the TV. He occasionally stopped on Home & Garden channels which I _did_ raise my eyebrows upon, but still said nothing.

The phone began to ring just as Leah rounded from the staircase. She picked it up from the base, looked at the number, gave a disgusting noise followed by an "Ew!" and threw the phone down on the couch beside Seth.

Seth sighed not saying a word. He didn't look at the Caller ID, he just answered.

"Hello?" He paused. "Oh, hey Embry." There was a longer pause here. Then Seth said, "Yeah. Sure, I'll tell her. See you later, man. 'Bye." And hung up.

Seth looked at me. "Your truck's ready." He said. "Embry said you can come pick it up at any time you want. You gonna go now?"

I bit my lip, knowing that of Jacob was going to be there almost 108.9% of the time, so I gave up on trying to find a way out. "Sure." I muttered. "But you're coming with me."

* * *

When Seth and I got off the bus, we walked inside Big Dog's Auto. This was my first time actually being in the front of the store, so it was all new to me.

There were high school football trophies along the walls accompanied by college flags of Clemson Tigers, Carolina Gamecocks, and Georgia Bulldogs. There were limited numbers of bikini model swimsuit calendars. They must save those for behind closed doors only. There was a gumball machine in the corner of the store next to a Pepsi drink machine and plastic fichus.

A short stalky man stood at the counter. His long dark hair was in a ponytail at his neck. His nametag read: _Embry_ in scraggly letters.

I realized this was the guy that Collin and Seth were talking about with no girlfriend, lived with his mom, no dad…I was overwhelmed with pity at his story, but quickly recovered when he began to speak to me.

"Hey baby." He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Are you an alien? 'Cause you are out of this world."

I looked at Seth. _Was this guy serious? He was just like Collin. Though Collin had an excuse…He was a fifteen year old boy, he didn't know any better, but this…this was just sad._

"I'm Renesmee Cullen." I told him, ignoring his—poor, poor—attempt at trying to woo me. He looked at Seth and then quickly back at me.

Suddenly he was a mechanic. "So, like Seth most likely told you already, we have your truck. It's ready. I'll just need you to sign this paper stating you paid the full amount up front—" He stopped himself and flipped through a few papers on a clipboard. "That's odd…" He mumbled and then looked up at me again. "You didn't…pay up front?"

I bit my lip. "Well, actually, I was told that I didn't have to pay…" I trailed off.

"Didn't…_have _to pay?" He said almost to himself. He studied over the words for a second. "Hold on,"

"Is there a problem?" I asked him.

"The paper I'm holding says that the vehicle registered in the name of Charlie Swan was picked up from location and brought in…" He pursed his thin lips. This information did not answer my question. "Who was your mechanic?"

I swallowed uncomfortably. "Jacob. Jacob Black."

He sighed. "Be right back."

I looked to Seth. "What's going on?" I asked him; he only shrugged.

"Hey Jake?" Embry walked down a hall and called out into the actual garage part of the building. There was a loud saw noise and then it cut off.

"Yeah?" I heard Jacob's deep voice. I saw only his elbow from where I was standing. Embry was blocking the only good possible view of him. Jacob's strong hands reached for the clipboard in Embry's. He looked at it.

"She said she didn't pay…?" Embry said in almost a question.

"Yeah, I told her she didn't have to. Which she doesn't." Jacob said in a reassuring voice. "Trust me. I got it covered."

"Do you know who that even _is_?" I heard Embry say in a hushed voice.

"Yes," Jacob said with a smile edging his voice. "I do." He paused. "Is she here now?" Embry nodded slightly to him. "Um, Sam wants to see you." Jacob said almost distantly to Embry. He stepped out of the garage and tucked his rag in his back pocket. Embry walked into the room I had been in the other night.

That was when I caught side of Jacob. It was like everything was on slow motion as he strode to the counter. He whipped his hair back from his intoxicating eyes. He smiled at me like nothing had ever happened to us that night. Though no matter how hard I tried to forget, I couldn't. He didn't let his emotions show.

"Hey." He said to me when he reached Seth and me.

I nodded. "Hello."

And it was quiet.

He stared at me, the wall, the floor—all of which are the same things I did. Jacob looked over at Seth without speaking.

Seth chuckled. "Oh look," He pointed to the wall. "A shiny thing with my name on it. I'll just…" And with those words, Seth walked into the garage area.

When we were alone, and the only that was heard was some cheap music without words (much like elevator music), I looked up slowly at Jacob.

"So," He smiled. "I heard Betty had her calf on Thursday. I'll have to swing by later and see her—"

"Are you going to pretend that that fight between us didn't happen at all?"

He seemed to be caught off guard. He bit down on his lip. "Look," Jacob said softly. "I'm really sorry—and I know I keep constantly having to say that because I screw up everything when I'm around you, but I'm just…"

"Just what?" I folded my arms. "Bipolar? Maniacal? Spazzmatic?"

"Spazzmatic?"

"Oh my God, so not the point," I said flatly.

"I'm sorry, okay…" He sighed and leaned against the counter. He shook his head with pity. "You just…"

"I just what?" I nearly shouted at him.

"You just don't understand, okay?" He said with an acid-like voice. I backed off from him. "You don't understand what it's like."

"Then tell me." I whispered to him.

"You get to me," he admitted roughly. "I'm not sure what it is, but I know you. I keep telling myself that I've never seen you before—but it's just lies." He shook his head again.

"I have a boyfriend," I blurted out and things went awkward. "Besides," I mumbled. "You're twenty-six."

"How old are you?" he asked.

"Not twenty-six." I told him. "So this can't work."

He eyed me, leaning closer onto the counter. "What can't work?"

"Us…Us can't work." I crumpled my eyebrows at the grammar.

He gave a lopsided grin. "What makes you think I want there to be an _us?"_

"My ego." I smiled back.

"Jacob." A strict voice said from a room in the back of the store.

"Yeah, Sam?" Jacob called back; his eyes never left my own.

"Are you being professional out there?" Sam asked. "If so, the cameras say otherwise."

Jacob smiled with a slight nod. "Right. So," He stared at me. I couldn't but stare back at him in almost awestruck kind of way.

"So," I said slowly.

"I…" He cleared his throat. "I have to get back to work." He walked over to a board holding at least fifty different sets of keys and randomly pulled off mine for the truck. "Have a lovely day." He said, throwing the keys to me.

I caught them and smiled softly at him. "I'll see you later, Jacob."

When I walked around back, Seth was in the passenger seat of the truck. He held a confused look on his face. "What?" I asked as I slid into the driver's seat.

"So, are you and Jacob…?" He said slowly.

"No." I said almost too quickly. "I have a boyfriend."

He blinked. "That's not what I asked."

* * *

It was basically back to before. No one spoke of Jacob. It was so quiet around the house, quieter than ever. Well…_almost._

_I_ was the one who couldn't stop thinking about him. It was impossible for me to make it throughout the day without thinking about Jacob's brightly gleaming smile. His rich, dark hair. His warm brown eyes that held so much emotion in them. His toned, tan body.

I couldn't help but think about how he could turn any horrible situation into a perfectly happy one filled with our harmonizing laughter. I couldn't help but think about how poetic Jacob could be when he pours so much out of his soul. How he gets lost in every moment when...I'm around.

I had told Jacob it was my ego that knew he wanted me…but now I'm not as sure. I think that it's my… _heart_.

I sighed and brought myself into reality. It was the first Wednesday of July. This only meant that my father would be off for the first time in three months. I promised I would call my parents before now, but I just didn't…want to.

I know. That sounds horrible. But my parents weren't really there for me ever, and I doubt they'd really be expecting a call.

_What the hell?_ I thought. I grabbed my cell phone from the nightstand and dialed my home number. I paced around the room waiting for someone to answer.

_Hello? _I smiled when I heard my father's voice.

"Hello daddy." I said.

_Oh, hello, Renesmee. How's your visit going? _He asked. I could hear the crumpling of paper in his hands. He was probably spending today just like all the others when he's off. Sitting in his leather recliner, reading the newspaper, and watching "Dr. Oz" reruns that he had been too busy to watch before.

"It's going great. I've made many new friends. They're all so nice. I wish you could meet them."

_Well, that's lovely, Renesmee. I hope they treat you well. My little girl deserves all the attention, ya know._

"Yeah. Right." I smiled. "How's momma doing?"

_She's_ _doing_ _fine_. He said. _The_ _hospital_ _awarded_ _her_ _for_ _her_ _ten_ _years_ _of_ _being_ _a_ _surgeon_.

"That's amazing!" I squealed. "I can't wait to talk to her."

_Hey, you know who I saw today? _Daddy asked, but before I could answer he continued. _Nahuel. He wanted to know why you haven't talked to him._

I froze. I could _NOT _tell my father why I haven't been able to talk to Nahuel. He couldn't know about her. He thought I was all better. "Oh, it's just the network connections." I lied. "They suck, really bad. I'm not able to talk to Bree or Victoria, either. But I'll call Nahuel, I guess."

_You guess? That doesn't sound like you. _He said. _Well, you may not be able to reach him anyway. His cousin flew in from Alaska. They were walking around the shops today. Real nice girl._

"Any one related to Nahuel usually is." I sighed.

He laughed. _You sound exhausted._

"I am."

_Why are you so tired? _I knew what he wanted to hear.

"No, daddy. I'm having _good _dreams. Nice ones, with barns and horses and stuff." I said that as convincing as I possibly could. He wanted to know if I were still having nightmares.

_I was just going to tell you that your medication came in again today. I mailed it out to Charlie's._

I froze. "What?"

_More medication. Renesmee, you ought to be almost out_. He said it like it was a super obvious thing.

I blinked. I hadn't even _thought _about my medication. I walked over to my duffel bag and pulled out the bottle off pills. It was almost halfway full.

"Oh, wow." I said. "Thanks for catching that daddy. I've got about four left in the bottle. I don't know what I would do without you."

_You would go crazy. Literally. _He laughed then. I laughed along with him, finding this comment to be almost rude. _They're on express delivery. They should be there in a few days. Well, I have to go, sweetie. Good-bye._

"Good-bye—" The line went dead.

"Daddy." I muttered into the dead receiver. "I miss you."

* * *

After my "successful" phone call from my father, I decided to go out on another walk.

The warm air felt good wrapping around my skin. I had never really been interested by the damp, coldness of Forks. I was always a fan of the sun and those enticing bright blue skies, and there wasn't a single cloud in the either.

The cows were in the pasture chewing their cud and I saw a few tabby cats near the tractor leaping and pawing at butterflies as they fluttered by.

It was so calm. The only sounds out were when a hawk or a buzzard would fly over my head and then perch themselves on top of a tree branch.

Why haven't I visited my grandpa before this moment? Why now? Why _this _summer?

There had to have been an explanation to it all…

I sighed. I never wanted to leave this place. It was so gorgeous and peaceful. All my worries just seemed to fade away. I was drama-free.

I didn't have to worry about fighting with Leah. I didn't have to worry about doing something to set anyone off on a rampage (Leah). I didn't have to bother trying to be "positive" like my mother had always encouraged…I just was.

I remembered back to something Victoria had said, which felt like forever ago now. She had thought that I'd fall in love with this place and never go back to Washington. It's sad to admit, but she could be right.

I could easily talk my parents into letting me stay down here with Grandpa—but only until I'd found the perfect place to stay at. I have my own money. It wouldn't be that hard to afford for one person in a small house in Aiken or Wagener. It's so secluded here. No one would know who I was if I'd stay out of the limelight. The press that always followed my family—what with my parents being _major _doctors, my Aunt Rosalie owning a pricy little cosmetology studio in New York, Uncle Emmett owned his own attorney office, representing major celebs and what nots. _It'd be so easy to stay…_

I looked up and saw a red pickup truck turning into the gate outside the pasture. I stopped walking and just stared across the field to see who it was.

And of course, I already knew.

The truck came to a halt and he got out of the vehicle.

At the sight of him in his holey jeans and white t-shirt, I began turning into that melting puddle again.

Jacob pulled a big blue bucket from the bed and walked toward a trough in the middle of almost fifteen cows. They allowed him to walk through without a single problem. They didn't flinch or jerk away from him when grazed his hand along their sides. It was amazing how well they trusted him. They followed close behind him and fought over feed as he poured the bucket out. He walked back and scooped more out of bin and took it to a different trough. I watched him as he did this four times, enough to let each cow have its own space to feed.

He was walking back to his truck when he stopped and stared at the newborn baby calf. A slow smile spread across his face. He made slow movements. He kneeled down on the ground and muttered something to himself. He motioned very delicately that it was alright for the baby to come near him.

He had to be crazy. Summoning a calf. It would have most likely run away and hidden. Trying to hold itself up on wobbly little knees…Or it _should _at least.

Instead, it made a hesitant step forward and then backed up again. Jacob was patient with it. He stayed there, murmuring to the baby.

Then it happened.

It basically _leaped _over to Jacob. _Leaped! _It ran into his arms allowing him to pet it.

Jacob stroked its dark fur gently. He touched the white mark between his eyes and smiled, muttering again. Just then, Jacob looked up and dead into my face. He smiled and slowly gestured me to come over there.

My feet unwillingly moved on their own. It felt like I had floated to the tailgate of Jacob's truck. I leaned against it and waited for him to leave the animals.

"Beautiful ain't she?" He asked walking to my side.

"Gorgeous." I blushed, knowing that I really wasn't talking about the calf.

"What should we name her?" he smiled lazily.

I laughed. "Name her? I didn't know you could name cows."

"Of course you can." Jacob laughed back, and lowered the tailgate of his truck. He lifted me up onto it and sat beside me. "You treat 'em just like they're people…only, with four legs and hooves."

I smiled back at him.

"You hungry?" He asked me.

"That depends." I told him. "Are you offering food?"

He got off the truck bed and walked to the passenger side. He pulled out a plastic sandwich bag and a mason jar filled with a dark liquid. "Nothing but the finest turkey sandwich on honey oat bread with mayonnaise." He smirked. "Would you enjoy half?"

"I would love to enjoy half." I smiled as he pulled the sandwich out of the bag. It was cut diagonally so I just took one side.

We ate in silence for a few moments and Jacob practically inhaled his half. He pulled out the mason jar and before I could even ask what it was, the smell hit me. I winced, remembering a night once before in my life.

Jacob noticed. "I take it you don't want any?"

"Jack Daniels." I swallowed uncomfortably. "No, not really a good thing for me to have. I had too much once before and…things ended _really_ bad."

He laughed once. "You lose your virginity to a cactus?"

I nearly choked. "W-what—Is that _code_ for something?"

His face remained relaxed as he bluntly said, "Unfortunately, no. It's not."

I laughed really loud and hard. I couldn't breathe. "Oh my god!" was all I could manage to force out.

After I had finished, I gave in to Jacob's offer and took a swig of Jack. The alcohol burned my throat, but not as bad as it burned my memories of that one night…

"Will you go out with me on Friday?" Jacob said sternly, looking me dead in the eye.

"Damn." I looked at the Jack. "The hallucinations have already started to kick in."

"No," Jacob shook his head and said more slowly, "Will you go out with me Friday?"

I blinked hard, still unable to focus on his words. "Go out with you?" I muttered. He nodded. The word came out before I could stop it. It just rolled off of my tongue like acid. "No."

He scratched his head with a confused look on his face. "No?"

I nodded. "No." He waited there with a stunned face. I figured that he deserved a full answer why I wouldn't go on a date with him. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to—because I really do. It's just…I have a boyfriend that I…love." I said the word, but it didn't have the same effect that it had in the airport when Nahuel had said it to me.

"I have a fiancé." He countered.

"_Had." _

He shuddered. "Lowblow."

"Sorry."

"What if it's not technically a date?" He nodded almost to himself, waiting on my reaction.

"I'm listening."

"Think of it as an…_outing._"

"An outing?" I quirked a brow.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Not quite a _date, _just more like two close friends hanging out someplace together that have the same circumstances as a date."

"Such as…"

"I'll pick you up at eight. We'll go out to someplace extravagant that requires casual clothing. I'll buy you dinner. Then I'll walk you to your doorstep like a gentleman."

"And I'll love that." I blushed. "So, where would we be going exactly?"

He helped me off the tailgate and shut it. "It's a secret." He winked at me, got in his truck and drove away.

There, between the cows and pigs…I think…I began falling for that welcomed stranger…

_Jacob_ _Black…_


	6. Take Advantage of That

***I am LOVIN' the crazy-good reviews! They're always so great! No flames…yet. Haha! _SOMEONE (_*cough, cough* dkgors *cough, cough*)has been BEGGING for a chappie in Jake's POV, so darlin' your dreams have come true! **

***OKAY, SO I'M A FEMALE…THIS SHOULD PROBABLY BE EXPLAINED FURTHER…I'M A FEMALE…I HAVE A FEMALE MIND. SO WHEN I WRITE IN A MALE'S POINT OF VIEW, HE MAY COME ACROSS A LITTLE BIT GAY…FYI, THIS CHAPTER IS IN JACOB'S POV AS WELL AS THE NEXT ONE. HE IS NOT GAY—THOUGH HE MAY SOUND GAY. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW IF YOU THINK HE SOUNDS GAY. THAT'S GREAT THAT YOU THINK THAT, I JUST DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS ON JACOB SEXUALITY—HE IS 108.9% STRAIGHT! HE'S JUST "SENSITIVE" WITH SOME PERSONAL THINGS. **

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

"I'll pick you up at eight. We'll go out to someplace extravagant that requires casual clothing. I'll buy you dinner. Then I'll walk you to your doorstep like a gentleman."

"And I'll love that." I blushed. "So, where are we going exactly?"

He helped me off the tailgate and shut it. "It's a secret." He winked at me, got in his truck and drove away.

There, between the cows and pigs…I think…I fell in love with that welcomed stranger…

_Jacob_ _Black…_

**Ch. 6: Take Advantage of That **

**Jacob-POV**

_Laying in the tailgate of my truck, she slowly trailed her soft hands down my chest and across my abs. My breath was coming out in short huffs and I couldn't focus on anything but how close her hands were to my cock. She smirked up at me in the glowing moonlight, and allowed her gifted hands to glide down the lowest part of my stomach. I growled as the tips of her fingers slipped under the elastic waistband of my boxers. _

_My jaw clenched in the anticipation of what was going to become of this. Of each and every passing second as she inched closer and closer… _

_"Jacob," Renesmee whispered to me in a sultry voice. "Will you do me a favor?"_

_"A-anything for y-you." I stuttered, readjusting myself onto to my elbows to get a better look at her goddess-like face. _

_"Kiss me." She smiled softly with a faint blush in her cheeks._

Kiss_. Her hands are down your pants and all she wants is a _kiss?

_Though I found her favor to be a bit odd, I didn't deny her. I didn't utter a single word. I only leaned into her, giving her what she wanted. _

_I brushed my fingers across her cheek lightly and she laid her head into them. _

_At first, there was nothing. Then, I felt her warm breath speed up and the feather light touch of her lips barely grazing my own. She held them there for a moment._

_I thought something was wrong, but then I felt her smile on my own lips and I felt that innerbeast take hold of my body._

_I crashed my lips to hers with such intensity causing her to fall back onto the truck bed. She pulled tightly onto the roots of my hair, making me growl like an animal. I sucked on her bottom lip making her moan into my mouth. She sucked roughly at my lips, as well; her tongue grated across my teeth. She was a natural, this girl. I wondered what other kind of "natural wonders" she held secret for behind closed doors purposes only…_

_Our tongues battled for hard-core dominance for a delicious minute. I moved my lips away to give her just a slight moment to breathe. I moved over to her neck and down to her shoulder ripping her tank top straps out of my way. My fingers traveled across her collarbone and slowly down her perfectly rounded breasts. I sucked gently at the silky smoothness of her body. Renesmee moaned loudly as she arched her back. Her nails began digging into my back harder with every movement of our bodies._

_Everything about her—her aroma, her touch, her moans—caused my dick to pulsate and twitch. I needed to be in her…_now_ if I were to have any chance at survival in this world_.

_She moved lower down my body, peeking up at me through her long, angelic lashes; she would be the death of me yet. She was so perfect. _

_This time, though, when she neared my erection, she didn't tease. She locked her hands at the elastic once again and acted as if she were going to rip them off of my body with every ounce of her strength._

_"You want me…" She purred cocking her head. _

_I moaned as she hovered over me. "Yes," I grunted out. "I want you, Bella…"_

_"Then take me, Jacob." She whispered. "Take me…" _

I jolted upright in my bed, hitting the bookshelf above me. _Dammit! _I rubbed my head.

_"Take me…" _

I could hear her voice. She wanted me.

It was…_Bella_…_and_ Renesmee…She had been there before. Where'd she go? Why did she morph into Bella? Why was I dreaming of Bella? I hadn't seen or heard from Bella in almost eighteen years now.

Either way, they both wanted me _bad. _My ego was swollen…along with a different appendage which was extending out the covers.

My hand grazed the bare sheets in hope…but no, it was just a dream. 

I sighed, got out of bed, and went into the bathroom to finish what that dream had started.

* * *

"Game this weekend, my place." Jared told us at the garage. He threw a screwdriver at Paul.

Paul caught it and smiled. "How hard did you have to beg for Kim to let us come over?"

Jared rolled his eyes. "Actually, she's got a _G.N.O _this weekend, what she doesn't know won't hurt me?"

Embry laughed from across the room. "I don't know what's more sad, man. The fact that you remembered the acronym for _Girl's Night Out _or that you have to hide the Famous Football Fridays from your woman."

"At least I _have _a woman." Jared spat back.

"I'm not the only guy in the world that doesn't have a girl at the moment, ya know." Embry pointed obnoxiously at me. "Take Jake for instance," He put up his hands as if defending himself. "No offense to you man," He said to me and then started back on Jared's case. "But he doesn't have one, either—"

"That's because his heart is mending." Jared said in a soft voice.

"Okay, what straight man says _mending_?" Embry scoffed at him.

"The kind with a _wife_ that's says things like that—"

"Enough, guys." Sam said from under a truck. "Just shut the hell up. I'm tired of it."

Quil laughed beside me and said, "Douchebags." I nodded in agreement.

"Back on topic though," Jared said. "I expect to see all of you tonight at my house. Tonight. Six o'clock."

"Uh," I scratched my head. "Can't come. I'm…busy tonight."

"Busy," Embry asked me. "What's more important than The Triple F?"

"Maybe he's getting _eff'd_…" Quil nudged me and smirked.

I smiled. "No, I gotta date." It went completely silent in that garage. My words seemed to have echoed off of the walls too. It was dead in there. Felt like a funeral home.

"I'll be damned." Paul said. "Mr. Stud's back in town."

"Nice." Sam said wheeling out from under the truck. He sat up nodding his head in approval. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"Renesmee Cullen." I said simply.

"A Cullen?"

I nodded.

"Cullen?" Paul repeated.

"Yes." I said.

Quil blinked. "Any relation to—"

"Yes." I answered him knowing where he was headed. "You guys remember her. From my party."

The all nodded in unison. They were all acting like zombies. I started to think that I shouldn't have said anything at all; just told Jared I was staying home to watch the game with my dad.

"Cullen?" Quil asked for yet the third time.

"Oh my God." I said, making sure they knew that I was over that question. "Yes, she's a _Cullen_."

"'Cause that worked out _so _well the last time—"

"The past is the past." I said viciously to him. I ran a hand through my hair. "Sorry. But that_ mistake _will _never happen again._"

"Mistake?" Paul shrugged. "I would hardly call it a _mistake, _Jacob. And you can't be too sure of anything these days with you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I snapped at Paul.

"Nothing." He said. "It means nothing."

"No, Paul, you got something to say, then say it."

"Who are you anymore? That's what I want to know." He stepped closer to me and poked my chest. I grabbed his wrist and knocked it away from me. "What happened to the _old _Jacob? The one that wasn't so _careful _ with everything he did? The one before Leah?"

"What are you talking about?" I folded my arms across my chest. I towered over him and stared at him

"I think what Paul is trying to say is—" Quil began, but was then interrupted.

"You used to be a rebel." Embry said. "A real bad-ass."

"But you saw where that landed me at." I said.

Paul spoke again. "Like you said, the past is the past, man. We understand. We're dropping that subject. What I want to know now is what happened to that player? Ya know the one that could hook up with any girl he laid eyes on? And can you uncover him for your date with a high class snobby _Cullen_?"

"She is _not _like that—"

"Not the point of my life lesson." Paul shook his head.

"Then what the hell is your point. Right now, it's kind of just pre-drunk ramblings with you—"

"Daddy issues!" He shouted. "She most likely has daddy issues." I rolled my eyes. "No, hear me out. She's probably all broken on the inside. Good." He nodded to himself. "The more broken the better. Take care of that."

"You're a pervert." I told him, wiping my hands on my rag. I mumbled, "What does my sister see in you?" I signed out and told them I'd see them all later and the final words I heard before I left were, "Take care of that…"

* * *

"Dad's doing better." I said to the black granite as I placed the fresh flowers in the gold vase beside the stone. "He hasn't stroked out in a few months. I'm praying it'll stay like that."

The tombstone read:

_Sarah O'Hara Black: Strong Woman, Wife, & Mother…June 30th 1967—August 15th 2001 _

I knew she wasn't there by my side to talk face-to-face with her, but something in my heart made it known that she _was _there with me. It would be impossible for me to think of anything other than that theory alone.

My mom died when I was sixteen. To say that I took it hard was an understatement. She had always been there for me—for everything. She helped me through all of my mistakes that I had made. She was my best friend. I was a momma's boy. No way of getting around it. I was always ashamed to admit when I was younger. Right up until her death. Then…I don't know. It was a little late to acknowledge it, but I did.

A hit and run. That's how my mom was murdered. They still haven't caught the bastard that did it, though. Good cause I'd kill him myself. Let him feel the pain—

I sucked in a deep breath and began talking again, "Charlie and Sue come over every other day. They help him out when I'm not around—he hates it. He's so damn proud, Ma. How'd you put up with that?" I laughed.

I didn't say anything for a while. I just sat there and watched the grass blow in the wind. I made a random side note that I needed to get out here and cut it.

"I met a girl." I said quietly and cleared my throat. "Bella's daughter, actually. I don't think she knows about me and Bells, though. She doesn't know how I felt about her. She doesn't know how far I went to get Bella to see me as more than just a kid. She doesn't know that I was sent to those five-and-a-half years of reform school because of what I did for her—At least, I hope she doesn't know." My eyebrows shot up. "That would suck. If I do actually get something going with Renesmee—that's her name—I want it to be a fresh start. Clean slate, ya know?" I nodded. "I've got a date with her in a few hours actually. I'm nervous as hell." I really was. My hands were shaking. "They're so different." I said after a while. "Yet almost _exactly _the same. Same brown eyes. Same smile. Same blush. Except Renesmee has that confidence that Bells never had." I sighed and stared at the ground again. "I like her, Ma. I wish you could meet her. I miss you. I really wish you were here. To help me out…" I sighed and whispered. "I miss you…"

* * *

"What to wear, what to wear, what to fuckin' wear?" I ran my hands through my hair as I stood in front of my closet. "Come on, Jake." I said to myself. "You've never had this problem before. Just pick something out."

Why couldn't I just find something to wear? I had already tried on three shirts and I was starting to feel like a pussy for not being able to find anything. I now understood girls. Why they took so long. This was a confidence killer.

I gave up and just settled with a plaid shirt over a white t-shirt and some plain jeans with holes. I put on my boots, my cowboy hat and sprayed my Diesel cologne before I left my room. I walked out into the living room where Charlie and Dad sat. Dad in the recliner and Charlie on the couch. They were watching the game. Dad looked up at me.

"Why you dressed all fancy?" He asked.

"Got a hot date." I told him, smiling as I adjusted the collar on my shirt and rolling the sleeves up to my elbows.

His paralyzed face looked shocked. "With a girl?"

I snorted. "You want grandkids, right?"

He gave a hardy chuckle. "What's her name? Maybe I know her."

"You should." I nodded to Charlie. "It's Renesmee."

Charlie choked on his beer and nearly spat it across the room. Maybe I shouldn't have made the "grandkids" crack…

"That's not a problem is it, Charlie?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, no problem." He said quickly. "Just, treat her…well."

"Promise. Wouldn't have it any other way Charlie." I started toward the door. "I'll be back later."

"Timeframe?" Charlie asked me.

"Six a.m.?" I joked. "Bye, guys."

I got in my truck only hoping that Charlie hadn't taken me too seriously. Not ready to die…or at least let him kill me _after _everything rolls perfectly with Renesmee…_Major cockblock…_

* * *

When I pulled up to Charlie's, I honked the horn twice. It only took Renesmee a few seconds to open the door.

When I saw laid eyes on her, I almost stopped breathing.

She was wearing a sexy white tank top and _low_ low-rise jeans. Her long bronze hair swept down her back in loose ringlets. Renesmee had a tight little body, one that _any _girl in America would kill for…and guys would kill to get their hands on.

I smiled at her and she blushed. I loved when she did that.

I reached over and opened the passenger door for her. She got in and buckled her seatbelt.

"Hello, Renesmee." I said. "You look beautiful."

She blushed again. "Thank you." She said softly.

"How've you been?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "Alright…I guess."

"You…guess?"

"It's nothing." She looked out the window as I pulled out of the driveway and onto the road. "You wouldn't understand." She almost whispered.

"Try me." I said, reaching over and tapping her knee.

She was quiet for a few moments. "My boyfriend broke up with me." She said after a while.

I snorted. "Yeah, I _totally _don't understand. I mean, it's not like I haven't just gone through a traumatic relationship." I nodded at her. "You wanna talk about it?"

She looked at me. "I've never met a guy that just wants to _talk _about anything." I shrugged and she continued. "He asked me what I was doing tonight, and I wasn't going to lie to him. I simply told him that I was going out…with you." She shook her head. "It just—it came out all _wrong._ And then he got pissed and…it was over."

"Well, that guy," I said. "is a dick." She laughed, but I could see the tears in her eyes. "I'd never treat you like that." I said and she smiled, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "I'd want you to do whatever made you happy."

"Thanks, Jacob. You're sweet." She smiled at me. Her lips were so inviting—_everything _about her was inviting. "But with Nahuel, it's like that. It's his way or…his way. No other choice. He's just—"

"A dick." I finished for her.

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Then why were you with him if he made you unhappy?"

"Sometimes he's good." She shrugged. "Sometimes there's no one else…" She laughed humorously. "It's complicated. Really, really, _really _complicated. I just…" She stared at me intently with such seriousness. "I'm done talking about this."

I nodded. It was quiet after that.

When we were almost halfway to our destination I said, "PBR."

She looked up at me. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

"It's where we're going. Professional Bull Riding. I figured you needed a taste of the country life more than just around Charlie's."

"Sounds like fun. I haven't had _fun_ in a while. Can't wait." She smiled.

* * *

I pulled into the large parking lot at PBR. I grabbed a spot and got out. I walked to the passenger side and helped Renesmee out.

She looked confused. "You do realize that we're parked in a _VIP _area, right?"

"Yeah, I've got connections." I said, reaching in my back pocket for our passes. I put mine around my neck and then placed Renesmee's over her head. My hands grazed her neck as I pulled her hair out of the way. Her brown eyes sparkled and I knew I'd be sporting some _major _wood the rest of the night.

We walked through the main entry with no problem from security. One flash of our passes and we had access to anything. It was extremely crowded inside the arena—but that was assumed. I took this as an opportunity to take hold onto Renesmee's soft hand.

"I've never been to anything like this." She shouted to me over the roaring crowd.

"Well, you're in for a wild ride, honey." I said back. She laughed and grabbed tightly onto my arm.

We walked to the back of the stadium and into a private hallway. Two thick security guards with sunglasses and wires in their ears blocked the entrance. "Name," One of them said.

"O'Hara Black and guest." He flipped a page on his clipboard and nodded.

"Right through here, Mr. Black." They pushed open the double doors for us.

"Thank you." I said.

When we were in you could barely hear the crowd anymore.

Renesmee laughed. "They treat you like the president. What the hell kinds of connections do you _have_ around here?"

"My uncle owns the stadium," I told her. "And there he is."

I caught sight of my uncle down the hall. He was talking to one of the bull riders. He looked up and waved at me. "There's my favorite nephew!"

I laughed. "I'm your only nephew." He ran up to me and gave me a tight hug.

"You look great." He smacked my face with one of his hands lightly. He looked down at Renesmee. "Ah! Who's this beautiful girl? And I do mean b-e-a-_utiful_." He grabbed her hand and made her do a twirl.

Renesmee blushed and held out a hand. "I'm Renesmee."

He shook his head at her hand and said, "Girl, first things first. In this family, we hug." He wrapped her in his arms and Renesmee laughed awkwardly.

I pulled him off her. "Alright, that's enough."

"I'm Garrett O'Hara, by the way. Welcome!" He extended his arms out to his sides. He looked up at me. "So, Jake, is this your girlfriend? Good job."

"Actually," I began. "This is…" What was she? I said it wasn't a date, so…

"We're just friends." Renesmee said. _Friends, I guess that'll work…_more _than friends would suffice, but I'll take what I can get…_

"Shame." Garrett shook his head. "You'd be a _great _addition to this family—"

"Alright." I interrupted him. "We're going to take our seats now. See you later, Uncle Garrett."

"Bye Jake." He winked at Renesmee. "Beautiful."

"I am _so _sorry about him." I told Renesmee as I directed her to our seats up in the front row. We were amongst fifty other lucky people who got to sit above the arena. They were the best seats in the house.

She laughed. "He's fine." She rubbed her thumb unintentionally in a circular motion on the back of my hand. It wasn't until now I'd realized we were still touching. I smiled a bit at the thought but it only made my mind wander...

"You hungry?" I asked her changing the subject.

"That depends." She smirked. "Are you offering food?"

I realized this is what I had asked her the other day in the field. I laughed. "Yeah. Would you like a slice of pizza?"

"Sure." She said.

"And what to drink?"

"Dr. Pepper." She said.

I nodded. "'Kay. Be right back."

I got up and when her hand left mine, I knew that would've been my only chance to hold her hand that night and I basically blew it.

When I was almost at the front of the line, I felt a hand slap me on the back. I turned to see Garrett. "Good Job, son. She's gorgeous."

I smirked. "Ain't got to tell me. I already know."

"I know who she is." He said with a _you-can't-get-nothing-past-me _look. "Cullen, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "I swear, if one more person mentions that—"

"Ay, so it's true?" His eyebrows shot up.

"Yes, it's true."

"Does she know?" He asked more quietly.

"No, she doesn't." I told his nosy ass. "And I'd like to keep it that way."

"So, you're not going to tell her?"

"Hadn't planned on it."

"You should."

"Why?" I said stepping forward in the line as the person in front of me walked away. "Two slices of pizza. Two Dr. Peppers." I told the cashier guy.

"Secrets aren't good for a relationship."

"We're not in a relationship." I reminded him.

"But you want to be." He said. "You're easier to read than your momma was."

The cashier put my food on the counter. I reached into my back pocket for my wallet, but Garrett had already laid the money down. "Welcome." He said.

"Thanks." I said back.

As I began to walk back to my seat, I heard Garrett shout behind me, "Tell her!"

I handed Renesmee her slice of pizza. "They have vendors around here, somewhere. We can go check them out later if you want." I told her. "My treat."

"You don't have to do that, Jacob."

"I want to."

"No, Jacob—"

"We're going to check the vendors out." I told her.

She stared at me and laughed. "Fine."

Just then, the lights went down and everyone turned their attention to the center of the arena. It was starting…

* * *

"Oh, wow!" Renesmee shouted as we got out of our seats to leave. "That was phenomenal! Thank you, Jacob for bringing me."

"You're welcome." I laughed at her. "Glad you enjoyed it."

We walked around shop areas looking at random things. We came across a line of cowboy hats. I grabbed a pink one and put it on Renesmee's head. She made a face at it.

"What?" I asked.

She laughed. "Pink? Really?"

"Do you not like pink?"

She smiled deviously. "I'm more of the _black _kind of girl_._"

I smirked at her. "Oh, really?" I took my hat off and put it on her head. "Kinda like that?"

She blushed. "Guess I didn't really think that through."

"Looks nice on you."

"Why, thank you, Mr. Cowboy." She laughed.

I loved how easy she was to be around. With Leah, it was always her way. I guess that's kind of like it was with Renesmee and her boyfriend—_ex_-boyfriend.

When she got in my truck earlier, she looked so defeated…fragile.

_The more broken the better…_I could hear Paul's voice in my head. _Shit…he maybe an ass, but damn…he might have a point…_

I could already feel myself pulling Renesmee closer into my life. But how could I get _her _to want _me _in her life…?

"Come with me." I told her, grabbing her hand again.

"Where are we going now?" she said laying the pink hat back on the counter.

"It's a secret." I said.

She laughed. "Jacob Black. I am so tired of all your secrets."

"They've been worth it so far haven't they?"

"I guess." She smiled.

"Well, come on."

* * *

"His name's Chicken on a Chain." I told Renesmee pointing at the large black bull behind the gate.

"Chicken…on a…Chain?" She laughed. "Really?"

I nodded. "Actually, yeah. And his son's name is Rooster on a Rope." She stared at me. "Hey, don't judge him by the name."

"Oh, believe me." She said. "I don't judge people for their names." I smiled at her. "So why are we with the animals?" She asked.

"Just go stand on those bleachers and watch." She stared at me and then shrugged.

Renesmee walked away to the stands. She watched in shock as I hurdled over the gate of Chicken on a Chain.

"Jacob!" Renesmee shouted as I climbed onto the back of the almost 3,000 lb. bull. "What the hell are you doing? You're going to get killed!" She was hysterical now. Her limbs were flailing around like a maniac trying to tell me to get off.

"Calm down." I laughed at her. "Just stand behind the gate. Don't come any closer." I told her. She nodded and stood beside a rodeo clown. I threw an arm up and signaled down to Garrett to open the gate.

As soon as the bull heard the click, he was off. He bolted out of the gated area and was out of control. He kicked the dust and tried to buck me off as hard as he could. I could feel my spine crack as he jerked all around beneath me. It was enough to make my breathing stop.

Being on a bull, nothing runs through your mind except that you _need _to last eight full seconds. It feels like a lifetime waiting for the buzzer to go—especially when you have to watch out for those long horns and keep one hand in the air.

What felt like forever and a day later, I felt the ground rush to me. I landed on my back and jumped back up before Chicken on a Chain could do any more damage. I rushed over to the gate and climbed up it.

Renesmee screamed louder than I'd heard anyone ever scream in my life. "Jacob! Oh my GOD!" The clowns held her back as long as they could, but when the bull ran safely into his quarters she jerked out of their grip. She ran straight to my side and smacked my chest when she saw me smiling. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

I laughed. "Relax, honey. I'm fine." I jumped down off of the fence and next to her. I looked up at the scoreboard on the wall.

"7.69." Garrett shouted and gave a double thumbs up to me. "Almost a full eight second ride."

"And a personal best." I said to Renesmee. She was glaring at me with her hands on her hips. "I'm fine." I leaned close to her and whispered in her ear, "Your turn."

She tensed up and pulled away. "Hell no, Jacob Black." She shook her head. "That's your thing—not mine. I don't want to die—" I picked her up and threw her over my shoulders. She burst into laughter. "Jacob, you better put me down or I'm going to call the cops—"

"Oh yeah, what's Charlie gonna do?"

"I don't care what Charlie could do. But I know there's nothing _you_ can do to make me get on that bull…"

"I don't think I mentioned _that _bull…" I whispered to her again.

* * *

"Jacob!" Renesmee panted out. "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can." I told her.

"But you go so _fast._" She sighed angrily.

"That's how you're _supposed_ to do it, honey." I laughed. "You can't get the full effect if you go _slowly._ Really. It's pointless."

"It's so hard!" She shouted.

"Just hold onto it as tight as you can—I do it all the time." I told her. "_KIDS _do it all the time."

"Jacob," She gripped onto it tighter. "I swear, I will kill you myself if I get injured by doing this." She glared at me. "Can't you at least do it _with _me?"

"Can't. Against the rules." I pointed at the sign on the wall behind her. "It _clearly _states that only _one _person is to be on the mechanical bull for each ride."

"I can't—"

"You can." I argued. "It's _easy."_

"It's _dangerous." _

"Fine, Renesmee. Be a wimp. Don't do it. Go on with the rest of your life knowing how much of a coward you are. Not wanting to ride a _mechanical _bull—"

"Just start the damn bull." She ordered.

"Atta girl." I said flipping the switch.

I started her at beginner and then after a few seconds I flipped her all the way up to intermediate.

She screamed and laughed and held onto the bull with one hand and securing my cowboy hat with the other. She fell off after a few seconds and landed on the inflatable cushions. She jumped up. "What's my time?"

I laughed and checked the score. "3.94."

She laughed. "Oh wow. That…sucks."

"You're a beginner. It's easier after a while."

"How'd you get so good?" She asked.

"I guess I've just been around it my whole life." I looked at my watch. "We should probably get going."

She nodded. "I told Sue that I'd get home at a decent hour."

I smiled. "Really, 'cause I told Charlie the exact opposite." She looked at me. "Long story. It's 12:45. Let's go."

* * *

We were driving down the dirt road to Charlie's when I mentioned to Renesmee that I needed to check on the baby calf. She offered to go with me and I took it. I wasn't ready to leave her gorgeous face just yet.

We got out of the truck. I grabbed a flashlight and shined it toward the darkness. I counted all the glowing sets of eyes looking for any new additions…or subtractions. But no, they were all accounted for.

"Hannah." I heard Renesmee say quietly.

"What?" I asked her. She was sitting on the hood of my truck. I took a seat beside her.

"In Jamey's song, _Playing the Part, _he says that he and _Hannah _were wishing on southern stars. I've always wanted my daughter to be named Hannah. You said that she needed a name. I think we should name her Hannah."

I nodded. "Hannah. I like it." I looked back out to the dark field. "I've always wanted a little boy." I told her. "Avery."

"I like that name." She said softly. "You could give him a crazy middle name—like, Cross."

"Cross?"

"Yeah, but with a _k. _K-r-o-s-s."

"Avery Kross." I nodded. "Kinda catchy. I like it."

I tried not to dwell on the fact that I was picking baby names out with a gorgeous girl. Even though I wanted to. I could see my future life with a girl like Renesmee—or maybe even _with _Renesmee. That'd be easy to see.

Coming home to her. Kissing her goodnight. Spending every night loving her. Waking up every morning beside her…

_Whoa, Jake. Getting ahead of yourself, little buddy. Calm down. You're starting to pitch a tent in your pants. Just breathe._

"You ready to go back now?" I asked her after a minute.

"Honestly, I've had one of the best nights of my life. I don't want it to end." She admitted quietly. "Thank you, Jacob." She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

As she began to pull away, I stopped her and pulled her closer to me.

She gasped softly as I brushed my lips against hers, barely touching her. It was soft and sweet. But then more roughly. More intense. I licked along her bottom lip and pushed my tongue deeper into her mouth. She kissed me back with raw force. I pushed her down against the glass windshield of my truck, pinning her wrists above her head.

_Take advantage of that…_

I moved my lips from hers for only a moment as I made my way down her long sweet neck. I could smell her sweet perfume as it filled the air around us.

"Jacob…" She moaned out.

I kissed her roughly again. "Jacob…" She moaned a bit louder. This time more cautiously, but from what I thought in pleasure.

"Jacob!" She shouted and pushed me off of her and onto the ground. She jumped down and before I could ask what, she slapped me dead across the face. I saw the tears in her eyes as she ran toward the house.

The side of my face stung and my heart was empty, but all I could think about was the way my hat flew off of her head in the wind and onto the cold, dusty ground…

***Well, I hope you enjoyed Ch.6! The next chapter will also be in Jake's POV. Again, sorry if sounded gay, but I can't wait to hear from you guys! Love you all!**

**/SIDE NOTES FOR CHAPTER SIX/ "Chicken on a Chain" is, in fact, a real PBR bull. He has a son named "Rooster on a Rope"...In my opinion, they need to name one "Poultry on a Pole"...Also, Avery Kross is going to be my future son's name whenever I grow up to a mature age and get married. It is also the name my parent's would have given me if I were a boy.**


	7. Fists and Kisses

***Wooowwww…You guys are _push-y_. You want to know about Jake and Bella—keep reading my story. You want to know about what was meant by the "reform school" reference—keep reading my story. HA! In yo faces! Just kid…**

***Also, in the last chapter posting, I meant to thank BrookeMegan for her rockin' lengthy review! I love those—so thanks.**

***I'd like to dedicate this chapter to someone who has something that they wish they could go back in time and change…so basically…everyone. **

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

"Jacob…" She moaned out.

I kissed her roughly again. "Jacob…" She moaned a bit louder. This time more cautiously, but from what I thought in pleasure.

"Jacob!" She shouted and pushed me off of her and onto the ground. She jumped down and before I could ask what, she slapped me dead across the face. I saw the tears in her eyes as she ran toward the house.

The side of my face stung and my heart was empty, but all I could think about was the way my hat flew off of her head in the wind and onto the cold, dusty ground…

**Ch. 7: Fists and Kisses **

I burst into the garage the next day in full on rage. "Where the fuck is Paul?" I shouted at Embry who was behind the counter checking out a customer. They jumped up when they saw me. Both of their faces were in utter shock. "Where the _fuck _is Paul?" I shouted louder this time.

"I-in the back—" Embry stuttered. "—Wait, why?"

I ignored him as I jumped the counter and headed straight for Paul. His back turned to me facing the front of a car with its hood up. "Paul!" I barked at him just so he would turn.

"Hey man." He turned and smirked at me. "How'd last night go with—" I smashed my fist into his nose before he could even form a whole sentence. He stammered backwards gripping at his face. The blood was pouring out in bucket loads—but I was nowhere near finished.

I grabbed him by his blood smeared collar and threw him against the wall. His head smacked against it with a _thud_. I punched him in the stomach again and again 'til he fell to the floor. I kicked him in the stomach over and over and over until I felt two pairs of hands grip me from the back pulling me away.

Paul was writhing on the ground. "Can't even fight back?" I laughed at him humorlessly. "Piece of sh—"

"Jacob!" Sam shouted from the entry. "What the hell is going on back here?"

"He ruined it! He ruined everything I had with her—"

"How did _I _ruin everything with her?" Paul coughed out in a dark voice.

"I listened to your fucked up advice—"

"Who the fuck told you to listen to me—" I started after him again, but was held back by Quil and Embry.

"Enough!" Sam shouted at us. "Jacob." Sam glared at me. "I run a business around here. We have customers and they need to know our management is grade _A_. I think you need to leave for a few days. I'll call you when you can come back."

"Sure, sure." I grumbled straightening up my shirt. I started out the door and just stopped. I turned back on one foot and looked Sam dead in the eye. "Ya know what? Screw this. Don't bother calling; I quit."

With those words I walked right out the door with all the pride I had left, unwilling to looking back.

* * *

I don't know why it was the first place I went after I had just ruined both mine and Billy's shot at survival. Maybe it was just out of habit. Maybe it was because I was just so lost in the thought of what all had just happened to think clearly. Maybe I just wanted to see her beautiful face…Who knows anymore? I sure as hell don't.

I walked up Charlie's porch steps with a blank face. I didn't know what I was going to do if she opened the door…or if _Leah _happened to be the one to open it.

I hadn't talked to Leah in almost two weeks at this point. I didn't even want to begin to think about what a reunion would be like with her.

My hand was in front of the door—clearly ready to knock—but I couldn't do it. No matter how hard I tried to will myself to make the movement to form _one _single knock, I only thought about last night…with what had happened between Renesmee and myself…_What _had _happen last night?_

She said it was one of the best nights of her life…then freaked.

It was my fault though—then again, somewhat hers for leading me on. She was just so damn…_sexy_. It was hard to not be turned on by that. The way her hips swayed when she walked. Her tight yet curvy body. It all led to that sweet ass that was just so…_interesting _to watch. How her breasts were just so…_fucking fantastic. _Her smile, her eyes, her…_everything. _

_Jacob, relax. You're going to get a boner on Charlie's porch if you keep this up. Do you realize how awkward that would be?_

I sighed and was beginning to think this was a bad idea. The whole me showing up here after such a big incident had happened between us, but I couldn't really put it off…If I put it off, I'd most likely never be able to talk to her.

Let's face it, Jake. You honestly don't have a good reason to be at Charlie's houseany longer.

No, now that Leah and I were done and over with for _good_ and I'd ruined any shot I'd had with Renesmee…all I had left was…_Hannah._

I couldn't help but smile at that thought. She had shared something so _personal _with me about her wanting a daughter named Hannah. It was cute, really. Maybe it was a chick thing to just throw out a random secret.

_Like Bella. _

Bella had always been such a blabbermouth. Couldn't keep a secret to save her life. She had always told me things because I was so young, thinking I'd forget them all by the time I had hit puberty or something—it was kind of sad at little confidence she had in me. I may have been little back then, but I still hung on every word she had said to me—

I heard the mailbox slam down the driveway. I turned my head and let the hand that was about to knock fall to my side.

I smiled when I saw her long auburn hair flow around her in the cool, summer breeze. My feet moved themselves closer to her without my telling them to.

When I got close, I could see that she was holding a small cardboard box. The mail was under her arm as she ripped back the tape on the package. She frowned and pulled out a small orange bottle.

I don't think she heard me or saw me, because when I said, "Hey, Renesmee." She jumped and accidently flipped the box and the bottle out of her hands. She bent to pick it up. "Sorry, I got it." I said picking it up for her.

It was just a simple cardboard box filled with white tissue paper. But right on top was a _thick _wad of cash—what looked like a bunch of twenties—and right beside it was a huge bottle of…pills? It looked exactly the same as the ones in her hands.

I wasn't technically being nosy, because they were right there in my hand. All I did was flip over them to read, _Anafranil_. It was all Greek to me. I didn't know what it was, but something in her face told me it wasn't a good thing. She turned almost blue as she hid behind her hair.

"They're not mine." She said softly, quietly.

I nodded, even though—clearly printed on the label—was _Cullen, Renesmee C._

"Must've delivered them to the wrong house." She muttered, grabbing the box from me and the pills. I stared at her. "Wrong house." She repeated. She shook her head quickly. "I have…to go." She walked swiftly into the house only looking back once. She didn't smile, wave, anything…only a sullen purse of the lips.

* * *

_ANAFRANIL, _I scrawled the word out onto a memo pad at the Drug Store counter. I passed it off to Stefan, the head Rx guy.

He looked down at it the paper through his glasses and then flipped his eyes back up to me. "Is this supposed to be a prescription? Because it doesn't quite work like that, Jacob."

"No, sir." I shook my head. "I'm just curious as to what it's used for."

He looked at me with an odd expression. "Not very many things," he said after a while. "I can only think of two right off the top of my head." I nodded for him to go on. He said cautiously, "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Chronic Depression."

I stood there, thinking back, wondering if Renesmee had shown any signs of OCD…then again at the times I was with her, I wasn't _looking _for any signs. And she seemed like a pretty easy going person. Fun, nothing _depressing_.

"Can I ask you why you want to know this, son?" Stefan glared at me. "Anafranil is some powerful stuff." He shrugged his old shoulders. "Wouldn't want the wrong people to get their hands on it."

I sighed, _Trust. The only thing I can ask for after all these years. I still can't get it. I've learned my lesson. But no one would believe a guy with my history… _"No, we wouldn't." I bit my tongue back from saying something spiteful. "I'm just curious, Stefan." I looked down at the pad. "Hey, could you get something like this for a…let's just say, a day old breakup?"

He laughed. "Love troubles?" He smacked my arm. I rolled with it. "Oh, no, sonny. Stuff like this would take, I don't know, _hundreds_ of doctor bills and dollars. How much were you in the market for?"

_Just deal with it, Jake. Let him think you're a druggie…that's truly all your worth in this part of town._

I shut off my pity monologue and thought back to all those pills under Renesmee's name.

"About…a hundred and fifty, maybe?" I guessed. "How much would that cost with prescription?"

"Not sure…" He said peculiarly. That obviously meant, _I'm not going to tell you, so your dad can't sue us when you OD._

I sucked my teeth. "Thanks for your help." I said before starting out the door. "Really."

* * *

_Knock, knock, knock…_

I had succeeded this time and was able to actually _touch _the door. I waited a few seconds and then knocked three more times with a sigh.

Unfortunately, it was Seth that opened the door wearing nothing but shorts—don't get me wrong, but not really the person I _want _to see shirtless at the moment.

He smiled that youthful grin of his. "Hey, Jake. Leah's not here."

"I'm not here to see Leah." His grin grew bigger. "Where's Renesmee?" and then faltered. I didn't really want to know why it did that.

"Probably sulking." He shrugged.

"Sulk—Why is she sulking?" I said, suddenly more alert than I'd been all day.

"I don't know. She's depressed. Her boyfriend broke up with her—I don't know. No one's really talked to her since yesterday morning." He opened the door wider. "She's upstairs, to answer your first question."

"Thanks, man." I patted his back and started up towards the stairs. I heard him sigh, "Your welcome, Jacob." _Man, that kid can get creepy…_

I knocked on her door. "Come in." I heard her say quietly in a small voice.

I opened the door.

I guess it was expected. That look on her face. It was a mix between sorrow and pity.

She was sitting on her bed in a white tank top—I tried not to focus on the fact that she wasn't wearing a bra. She was holding her phone in one hand and money in the other. The bed was covered in tens, twenties, fifties—even a few hundreds. She immediately picked them all up and put them in the bedside table drawer when she saw it was me.

She pulled her hair from behind her ears and took in a deep breath. "What are you doing here?" She asked staring cautiously with bloodshot eyes.

"I came to see you." I told her closing the door. I didn't want to beat around the bush. I wanted to let it all out. To see if she was going to forgive me. I exhaled. "Look, I'm not going to say I'm _sorry _for what happened between us—"

"Good." She nodded.

My brows pushed together. "Good?" I sat down at the end of the bed.

She shrugged. "_I'm_ not sorry that it happened. I actually _liked _what happened. It was nice." She smiled faintly. But I could see something was wrong through her glassy eyes.

"Then why'd you run away from it all?"

She was quiet. Not one word. She just pulled her knees up to her chest and looked at me.

"I know about the…Anafranil. I mean, I know what it's used for." Her eyes were in utter mortification.

She her head. "I told you, they aren't mine—"

"You're lying to me." I said simply.

"No. I'm not." She said with an edge in her tone.

"Renesmee." I laughed once. "I saw your name. Printed, plain as day, on the label."

"Ok, fine." She said. "Yeah, they're mine." She admitted. "But I don't take them."

"Alright." I stood and put a hand on the door. "I'm leaving. If you can't be honest with me—"

"Jacob!" She shouted pulling me back onto the bed. "Let me finish." She sighed. "You're right, they're my pills, obviously, but I know it won't make any sense to you if I explain—"

"Try me." I told her.

She bit her lip. "I can't tell you—just believe me when I tell you I don't take them."

I nodded slowly. "'Kay. But if you don't take them, then what happens to them?"

"Anything." She said. "I do anything I can to get rid of those pills. I crush them into powder and pour it down the drain, I flush them down the toilet, I even give them to my best friends' boyfriend, who's a drug dealer—I don't carewhat _happens_ to them as long as they're gone by the time the prescription needs to be filled!" She shouted at me.

"I don't…understand." I said honestly.

"Told you." She shrugged, calming back down. "No one ever does. Except Bree and Victoria. They're the only ones I can…trust in this crazy screwed up world—"

"Trust. Me." I said. She looked taken aback by my words. "I will never judge you with anything. I don't care if you have OCD or Chronic Depression. I like you just the way you are—"

"What are you talking about, Jacob? OCD? Chronic Depression? Honestly, I think you're the crazy one in this place." She sighed and closed her eyes. She was reorganizing her thoughts. "I don't have…those things." She said. "I have PTSD. Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. It's very common. You can Google it."

"I know _very _well what that is. I've…been through it. I never took medication for it, though…"

"That's because Anafranil isn't…used for PTSD. My case is severe. My therapist had to give me something _way _more potent than regular PTSD cases."

"Why?" I asked.

She was quiet again. A statue. She didn't speak, move—I couldn't even see her breathe.

"Fine." I got up, ready to leave this time for real. I don't like playing games. I opened the door halfway and she sighed.

"Jacob, come back." She almost whispered. Her voice cracked. "Don't…leave me." She paused. "I'll tell you everything."

I exhaled and sat back down onto the bed closer to her this time. She picked up my hand softly and just looked at it. A tear fell from her eye and hit my knuckle. She wiped it away with her thumb. I didn't like seeing her like this. Her hands were cold as she began to speak to me.

"I…" She coughed and sniffed and gripped my hand. "I-I don't like talking to anyone about it." She glanced up at me and then back down with a shrug. "But since it's you, I'll tell." She paused for only a moment, inhaled deeply, and breathed out: "I was raped."

My eyes went wide and I was sent spiraling into a flashback from when I was only a little bit younger.

_I was raped…_ The words rang in my ears. Clearly, they weren't Renesmee's, but another sweet voice. _He hurt me. I can still feel his arms clutching me against him. I can't do anything about it. I have to endure all of this pain now, because of him. I wish someone would stop him before he hurts anyone else…or before he had hurt me. I wish, dear God, please let all my wishes come true. Forget about me, I'm already a lost cause. Save the others…before the damage is done and it's too late. Like me… _

"That's why I bailed last night." Renesmee went on with silent tears streaming down her face. "Man, I _wanted _it, Jacob. I wanted what happened between us. I wanted…_you. _But I saw those…_flashes _of that night and just started to lose it—"

"Oh, my God." I folded her into my arms. "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that. It was so wrong of me. I was only thinking of myself—"

"Jacob." She laughed through her tears. "I'm fine. It was _such _a long time ago. I can't do anything about it now—"

"_Shhh_…" I pulled back and took her face in my hands. I wiped my thumbs across her beautiful cheekbones. "I am so sorry." I repeated. "I swear to God, I'll never take advantage of you like that again…" I shook my head.

"What if I want you to?" She asked sweetly with a smile. "Now." She leaned closer and whispered, "Kiss me."

I smiled and pulled her hair behind her ear. Without one word, I planted a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips were soft and warm and…_perfect. _She smiled against my own and pulled back after a minute. She gazed at me and I swear it was the most breathtaking thing imaginable.

If I died right then, I would have been the happiest bastard on earth…

***I made a Twilight reference, "It's very common. You can Google it." :P**

***So, review please! Tell me what you think—personally, this is one of my least favorite chapters of CP, but it has a lot of info you need to remember.**

***BT-Dubs, this is the last chapter in Jake's POV for a while. I may or may not use his POV for up to Ch.12—so sorry, dkgors. ;)**

***REVIEW! **


	8. Dirty Little Secrets

***HELLO! ONE WEEK EARLY, MY FRIENDS! I AM EXCITED ABOUT THIS CHAPTER! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES BECAUSE OF ALL THE INFORMATION YOU GET OUT OF IT!**

***I AM CURRENTLY WORKING ON CH.13 AND AM IN LOOOOVVVVVVEEEEE WITH THAT CHAPTER BECAUSE OF ONE PARTICULAR THING! *cough, cough* kinky lemon *cough, cough*...**

***I would like to give a LOVELY little shoutout to mami-hai (a fantastic reader of CP from the country of Japan. Thank you for reading my story mami-hai.) AND another shoutout goes out to my NEW friend Psych94 who has TRULY inspired a converstation between Jacob and Renesmee for a future chapter. I would like to thank you, Niki, for that. HERE IT IS: Thank you, Niki.**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection: **

She leaned closer and whispered, "Kiss me."

I smiled and pulled her hair behind her ear. Without one word, I planted a soft kiss on her lips. Her lips were soft and warm and…_perfect. _She smiled against my own and pulled back after a minute. She gazed at me and I swear it was the most breathtaking thing imaginable.

If I died right then, I would have been the happiest bastard on earth…

**Ch. 8: Dirty Little Secrets**

**Renesmee-POV**

The next week with Jacob was a rolling montage. And to be quite honest, I enjoyed every single moment I could get with him. Which—no matter if it were for hours—was _never _long enough. We spent every minute together. We walked around the farm talking about anything and everything. Jacob would teach me random things to know for the rest of my life…

He taught me how to drive a tractor…

_"Just push the lever up a little," He said. "Not all the way up, because you'll run over the green house…"_

_I laughed. "Again." He held me tighter on his lap and fully let go of the steering wheel. _

_"It's just like driving a car." He said over the roaring engine._

_"A really _big _car." I nudged him with my shoulder. He smiled. "Another thing, cars don't have a turtle marking the speeds of 'slow' and a bunny marking for 'fast'." I gestured to the lever. _

_"I'm partially fond of—" He cleared his throat. "—bunnies."_

_I raised my eyebrows at him with a smirk. "Are you implying that you like it fast?"_

_He laughed and whispered into my ear, "Never said that."_

_"Oh, well," I leaned up to his ear. "I'm quite fond of bunnies, as well."_

He taught me how to let loose and just be myself…

_"It's raining." He said as we sat on the porch. I was leaning against his chest. His arm was draped around my back._

_"Really?" I asked with a laugh. "Is that what that is? Here I thought the sky was crying. Makes sense seeing that it's _blue_."_

_He laughed once. "I think _that _may be the corniest thing I've ever heard." I looked up at him. "Do you like the rain?"_

_"I love the rain. It's so calm and peaceful." I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. "I loved playing in it as a child."_

_"You can still play in it." He smirked at me. "As long as I get to play with you."_

_I giggled. "Oh, you want to _play_ with me?"_

_"Absolutely." He smiled, intertwining our fingers together._

_"I bet that's just a ploy to see me in a wet t-shirt." I raised an eyebrow at him flirtatiously._

_"You caught me…" He whispered right before planting a sweet kiss on my lips._

He taught me to trust him with every fiber of my being…

_"Jacob," I said to him from a tool bench in the barn. He was working under the hood of his truck. "I need to tell you something. But first, I need to know you won't turn your back on me, no matter how crazy you think I am."_

_"Renesmee, I'd never think you were crazy." He said looking up at me. "What is it?"_

_It took every ounce of courage I had to tell him what needed to be said…_

_"The Anafranil…" I sighed. "It isn't _just _for my PTSD."_

_I measured his reaction for a moment. He seemed alright, he wasn't in shock like I thought he would be for my withholding information. _

_He nodded for me to go on._

_"I don't know how to say it without making myself sound like a nut job." I admitted._

_"Just say it, Renesmee."_

_"I see things." He didn't do anything. Maybe he didn't understand what I said. Maybe I should repeat it. "By things, I mean…like," I wasn't able to conjure up what I meant. "Like—"_

_"Hallucinations?" He asked, tightening something up under the hood._

_"Sort of." I nodded. "That's a very accurate term for what I see." I sighed. "Except she's more like…the wind."_

_"She?" He raised his eyebrows at me._

_"You think I'm crazy." I told him. "I can see it."_

_He laid down a wrench and abandoned his truck. He lifted me off of the bench and onto the tool counter. "Then you're blind, because I don't think you're crazy. I could never think you're crazy. You're trying to be honest with me, and I'm listening. Now, go on."_

_I smiled and cupped his cheek in my hand. He leaned into it and kissed my palm. _

_And I told him everything about the Frozen Ice Queen. I don't him that the most recent of times I had seen—like earlier that day, for instance—that her features had changed. I told him about my constantly reoccurring nightmare that I—just had realized as I was talking—hadn't had in almost a full week. He listened to every word I said—no, he _lingered_ on every word I said. _

_He asked me questions:_

_"Why does she exist?" and "Why does she try to torture you, what have you done?"_

_I gave him simple answers—the truth…_

_"I don't know."_

_"You should take the pills, Renesmee…" He looked me in the eyes. _

_"But, why?"_

_"They're to help you. You don't like seeing her, right?" _

_"Yeah, but—"_

_"They work?"_

_"Yes, but—"_

_"But, what?"_

_"I-I don't like them. They turn me into a zombie. They make me crazy, and numb…" _

_He kissed my forehead. "Then don't take them. It's your call, really. You don't have to if you don't want to."_

_I vowed to take them from then on out. Because I secretly knew that Jacob wanted me to…and I'd do anything for him…_

* * *

We didn't dare speak to one another when Leah was around. We weren't _hiding_ per se…actually, no. We weren't hiding anything at all. It was hard to say exactly what was going on between Jacob and I. Everything was completely PG with us. I could tell he didn't like it, because every time he'd kiss me, I'd pull away before things got too far. I had to remind him—and myself, for that matter—that I was still in recovery from a _horrible _relationship. 

I _really _liked being with him, though. It was so easy to get lost with Jacob. It was something I couldn't help myself with. To just forget the world existed. For everything to just melt away when I'm with him. I loved that, and had never had anything like that whatsoever with Nahuel. Being with him seemed…_forced._ Yeah, that was the perfect word when it came to Nahuel.

There was a time when I actually enjoyed _everything _Nahuel had to offer. But, eventually we were _expected _to have each other.

Our parents worked in the same medical field. It was pretty much a given we'd end up together.

When we had first moved to Forks, and when I had first laid eyes on him…I _wanted _him in every aspect. He was perfect in every way in my naïve, adolescent mind. I had fallen for him _hard. _At first there were no words to describe the attraction I held with him. I would pass him in the hallways at school and he'd throw a quick glance in my direction and smirk at me. He knew how I felt and continued to lead me on.

Eventually, after a long, hard time in my life—my rape—we formed a relationship. It was nice, actually.

But now…

When Jacob and I first started hanging out—the night of our _outing_—Nahuel blew a fuse and almost shunned me out of his life completely…

_"Hello, Little Ren." He smiled at me over our video-chat. I had to borrow Seth's laptop just to Skype with Nahuel because mine was…wrecked. I gritted my teeth over the thought. "I have missed you so much." He said._

_"I've missed you too, Nahuel. How are things up there?" I asked._

_"Fantastic." He chuckled once, like there was some joke that I was missing. _

_"Yeah, my dad said that he saw you the other day with your cousin."_

_He tensed up a bit at my words. "Yes…my cousin." He nodded. Before I could ask why he was acting so weird, he went on. "Her name is Tanya. I'll be happy when she's gone." He smirked. "You know how relatives can be. She thinks it's all about her, all the time. Pish posh, darling." He leaned back into his sofa. "How are your relatives? Your grandfather? I assume he's well?"_

_"Yes." I told him. "He's great. Everyone's great. Very hospitable."_

_"Shouldn't that be expected?" I shrugged at his question. "What are your plans for the evening? Going to enjoy a nice book on the porch. That would be a very stereotypical thing to do in the South, am I right?"_

_I laughed. "Actually, I'm going out."_

_"Ah," He smiled. "You've made new girlfriends. I see. It's about time you got rid of those others."_

_I rolled my eyes._

_Nahuel absolutely _hated _Bree. Everything about her. He couldn't stand her just as much as she couldn't stand him. I never understood them. They couldn't even stand in the same room as one another without constant bickering going on amongst them._

_"Nahuel," I said in a warning tone. He smirked. "No, I'm not going out with any new…_girlfriends._"_

_He smirked again. "Are you trying to tell me you have a new boyfriend, then?"_

_I didn't really know how to respond to that. _

_"Tell me I'm wrong, Little Ren. Tell me you have not found someone _else _to satisfy you."_

_"It's one date—it's not even date. Because, he's just a friend, Nahuel. It's nothing to get worked up about—"_

_"Nothing to get worked up about?" He shouted at me. "My _girlfriend _is going out _on a date _with some _other _man. How can you deny me the right of getting worked up?"_

_I huffed. "You are being _wayyyyyy_ to overdramatic about this—"_

_"Overdramatic?" He jumped up from his seat on the couch and left the screen. He yanked his computer back in his direction. His face was red with fury. "I'm not being overdramatic! I'm trying to protect this relationship from over thousands of miles away!" He screamed. "And it's almost impossible seeing as my girlfriend has become the sluttiest whore in South Carolina!"_

_My mouth dropped. "Ex-excuse me?" I stammered out. "You have no right—"_

_"I have every right!" He leaned over his screen. "We are over." He said each word with a pause in between. It was in such a stern voice that I wanted to cry. "Done. I never want to talk to you—ever again." His finger hovered over the power button on his keyboard. "Bitch." He spat._

_Seth's computer screen went black and I was staring at nothing but my own reflection…_

* * *

I was walking up the porch steps when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I waved goodbye to Jacob as he drove down the driveway. He had just dropped me off from our lunch date to a little café in Aiken.

"Hello?" I answered it without looking at the caller ID. Big mistake…

_Hello, Little Ren. _His accented voice filled my ear.

I rolled my eyes. "What do _you _want?" I asked viciously.

_I want lots of thing. The war to end, a Camaro, more money…_He paused…_you._

I gritted my teeth. "Too bad. You can't have me."

_Oh, _I heard him sigh. _Can't I?_

"No, you can't. I'm taken."

_My, my. That was fast. Don't you miss me at all?_

"Nope, not one bit." I said a little contented.

_You listen to me, _He said suddenly fierce. _You know you can't do it. So why bother?_

"What are you talking about, Nahuel—"

_Oh, you know _exactly _what I am talking about. We had an agreement—_

"I _kept _my end of the deal, Nahuel. It's done. Over. You said it yourself—"

_Oh, no. Little Ren, it's not over._ _The games have just begun—_

"This." My voice was breaking in anger. "It's not a game. This is my life, Nahuel! I am tired of you screwing around with it, Nahuel. Sick. And tired. You don't own me, okay?" I almost shouted.

_But I own your secrets. Say the magic words and I will keep them…forever._

My body went rigid and I almost stopped breathing. I shook my head, tears rimming my eyes. I couldn't do it…but I _had _to. Jacob would hate me for it, but…

"Nahuel," I said wiping a falling tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry for hurting you…" The words were going to fall off of my tongue…and I wouldn't be able to take them back when they were gone. I'd only be left with a burning throat…

"Take me back."

_That's my girl…_

* * *

"Seth." I called tiredly up the steps. I was sure he wouldn't have heard me. "Seth." I said a bit louder. I gave up and just started up the stairs.

My feet dragged across the carpet to his door. The hallway seemed to be growing longer and longer with each step I took. What possessed me to just _open _his bedroom door rather than simply _knocking, _I will never know…but I sure learned my lesson.

I stood with my mouth agape as I watched Seth ravage the blonde boy beneath him with his lips. Brady's right hand gripped roughly onto the front of Seth's sweatpants causing Seth to moan out in pleasure as he ran his fingers through his partner's hair.

Without meaning to, I allowed the door to hit the wall.

Seth jerked away from Brady and they nearly jumped to different sides of the room when they saw me.

I couldn't form words as I saw Brady's chest inhaling and exhaling at an extreme rate. Seth stared at me, not knowing what I was going to do…I'll tell you what I did; I got the hell up on out of there.

I rushed to my room as fast as I could, shutting the door behind me. "Omigod…" I breathed out in a rush. "Omigod. Omigod, omigod, omigod." I walked over to the bed and threw myself down. "I cannot believe I just walked in on him with…" I was shaking in embarrassment. I felt my skin change strange colors and then go to straight up purple.

Before I could talk to myself anymore, Seth walked in. "Okay, I…" He seemed at loss for words. "We thought the house was empty." He said quickly. "I'm so sorry that you caught that, but in our defense—that's my room…" I didn't speak. He repeated, "We thought the house was empty. Believe me, it's not often we get time to ourselves and we just wanted to—"

"I am so, so, so, _so sorry _that I invaded your privacy like that. I just wanted to talk to you. Omigod!" I screeched and then laughed. "Wow! I can't believe…I did that."

"Is it _really _that big of a shock?"

"Sorry." I breathed. "I'm just…sorry." I shook my head. "I won't tell—anyone—that I saw you with-with Brady. I promise."

"It's fine, Renesmee." He patted my shoulder. Without meaning to, I cringed. Lord only knows where else that hand had been before I walked in. "My mom knows that I'm gay. She doesn't know how _serious _things are, but…"

"Is she cool with it?" I asked him.

"It took her a while, but yeah, she gets me. Charlie doesn't know yet, though. We're waiting on the right moment to tell, but—are you okay? You look a little green."

"I am…so sorry." I said again.

"It's fine, Renesmee, really. I'm not ashamed." He shrugged.

"I can tell." I gestured to his protruding sweatpants.

He slowly covered them with his hands.

"You should go back to your, um…" I shooed him with a hand. "Brady."

"My Brady." He smiled and then headed out the door and back into his room.

At least someone was happy with their relationship…

* * *

He stood with his back to me as I crept into the barn. He was once again looking under the hood of his truck. I tiptoed up to him and launched myself onto his back. "Hello, Jacob." I whispered into his ear with a slight giggle.

He chuckled. "Hello, beautiful." He turned and kissed my lips softly. My stomach began churning when I thought about yesterday…

_"Take me back…"_

I pulled away and smiled apologetically.

"Oh, come on." He whined. "You won't even _kiss_ me now?"

"It's not that." I said walking over to tool counter. I climbed up and dubbed the area my new spot.

"Then, what is it?" He asked walking over to me. He stood between my legs and a hand placed on the top of my inner thigh. I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"It's something that happened…yesterday."

He brushed my hair behind my right ear. "What happened yesterday?"

I locked my arms around his neck. He needed to know. I needed to tell him. But I couldn't force myself to do it. Instead, I blurted out: "Seth's gay. I walked in on him making out with Brady."

Jacob eyed me for a moment. "Are you sure?" Before I could answer, he nodded to himself. "Huh. Why couldn't I see it before? The signs are all there."

"You have to promise me that you won't tell." I held out a pinky.

"Oohh, a pinky swear. That's rough."

"Yeah, you break it, you die."

He laughed and wrapped his large pinky around mine.

"Now, tell me what you really were going to tell me."

I froze. "What do you mean?"

"You weren't just going to out Seth and then make me think that was the only thing that you were worked up about?"

"Yes." He eyed me. "Okay, you're right. That's not the only thing I was going to say."

"Then, please, by all means. Continue."

My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to puke. "I got a phone call yesterday, too." I paused and he was gesturing for me to go on.

"It was from…Nahuel." He glanced at me with scared eyes, like he knew what I was going to say. "He asked me…if we could get back together…"

Jacob choked out. "You told him no, right?" I didn't speak. He pulled back a little. "Right?" I looked down. "Renesmee, talk to me."

"I-I—"

"Uh-oh! I think it's mating season on the farm!" An obnoxious yet familiar voice echoed through the barn. "Maybe we should come back later."

I looked up in shock as I saw my fiery, redheaded best friend locking elbows with my other best friend.

"Oh, my Gandhi!" I jumped down from the counter and landed on the balls of my feet. I ran straight into their arms, totally bypassing Jacob.

We squealed at each other for almost five minutes. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, your very _generous_ parents gave Bree a plane ticket to come down to see you—"

Bree interrupted Victoria. "But Victoria conned James out of a couple hundred to fly first class with me—"

"She claims I'm a 'golddigger'."

"Only because it's the truth." Bree pushed Victoria's arm.

"But Jay was all for it—"

Bree faux whispered to me, "It's really only to get rid of her for a few days." Victoria smacked her arm.

"I've missed you guys so much!" I squealed wrapping them into my arms again. "Few days? Where are you staying?" I immediately asked as I pulled away.

"We're staying at a hotel in Aiken." Bree told me. "Your parents gave me the room. V and I will just have to _share." _Bree laid the emphasis down on 'share' because Victoria was not always perfect in that department.

"I cannot wrap my head around the fact that you guys are really here." I admitted.

"Us either!" They said at the same time.

"The things you find on farms are so cute!" Bree said.

"Speaking of cute things on a farm…" Victoria nudged me and whispered, "Are you going to introduce us to the Incredible Hulk over there or—" She pushed up her cleavage. "—do I need to introduce myself…?"

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Jacob. He was staring down at the ground. His lips were mashed into a tight, angry line. I walked over to him slowly.

"Guys, this is Jacob." I touched his arm. I sighed in relief when he didn't jerk away. Then he gave out a faint smile.

"Nice to meet, ya'll." He nodded at them. They simply gaped at him with their mouths hanging open when he spoke.

"Jacob, this is Bree—" I gestured to them as I said their names. "—and Victoria. They're my best friends from Washington." They waved robotically to him.

"You too…Meeting us…Hi." Victoria glanced at me and then back up to Jacob.

He nodded at them and looked down at his watch. "I have to go pick up Billy's clothes from the cleaners, but I'll see you tonight at dinner." Jacob stated. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. His voice was strained, but I heard his words clear as day. "Just think it over a little bit more. Just…" He sighed. "Just think of _me_."

The words ate away at my heart and I wanted to drop to my knees and tell him that I choose him, but I couldn't. Because in the end…I wouldn't choose Jacob.

* * *

"Okay." Victoria smiled deviously at me. The three of us were back at the house in my room now. Bree was walking around observing the area. She had praised the color choices already, and I told her that I would pass along the message to my Aunt Alice.

"Okay, what?" I asked her with a slight giggle escaping my lips.

"Okay, like, Jacob is like a freakin' _giant_. Which only makes me wonder…"

"No, you slut." I said flatly. "I have _not _seen Jacob's dick."

"Well, what's taking so _long_?" She whined then gave her signature perverted smile.

"Do you realize how disgusting you sound right now—and all the time for that matter?" Bree said, rolling her eyes.

"I just want my girl to get some." Victoria nudged my knee with her own. "Speaking of which, how far have you gone with him?"

I was now the one rolling the eyes. "Not far."

"Ooh! What's the male equivalent to a cougar?" She jumped up. "A mougar?"

"_Mougar _isn't even a word." Bree said sitting down beside us on the bed. "But in most societies the equivalent would be a pedophile."

"Jacob is _not _a pedo." I rolled my eyes again. "Far from it. He's sweet and funny and just…amazing." I could feel myself blush. "But…we're not really…_together."_

"But you want to be." Victoria said.

I didn't deny it. I _did _want Jacob…but there was only so much I could do with my life.

"I say go for it." Bree muttered, patting my shoulder. "Screw whatever you have with Nahuel and get it with Jacob. I see you with him—"

"Yeah." Victoria agreed. "You've already got that Southern accent down."

"What accent?" I asked.

"The one that says—" She gave a very scary Southern accent next. "—I'm reddy ta go wershin' down in tha crick…and Darlene, wers tha _TEA_?"

I busted out laughing. "I sound _nothing _like that!" I claimed.

They both laughed—which I decided was _at _me rather than _with _me. "Yeah, you do."

There was a knock at the door. I looked up to see Sue poke her head in. "You girls staying for dinner?" She asked Bree and Victoria.

Bree bit her lip, a little embarrassed. "If it's not an inconvenience, we'd love too."

"Oh, _please._" Sue laughed. "It's no inconvenience at _all! _The more the merrier!"

Bree smiled. "Thank you." She jabbed Victoria in the ribs with her elbow.

"Ow!" Victoria muttered and smiled at Sue too. "Thanks."

"No problem." Sue shrugged. "It'll be ready in an hour."

Sue left and headed back down the stairs. Victoria began talking again.

"Since you've basically been living under a rock for the past few weeks," I rolled my eyes at her. "I assume that you haven't heard the news about Kate."

Kate was a cheerleader at Forks—head cheerleader. She and I were a tie last year for 'Most Popular'…not to brag or anything, but I totally deserved that spot all to myself.

"No. I haven't heard anything about her, why?"

"Garrett knocked her up!" She shouted.

My mouth dropped to the floor. "Are you serious? She's…pregnant?"

"Yep, her muffin has been buttered and is baking as we speak."

"Is she going to keep the baby?"

"I believe she is." Bree said. "I feel so bad for her. Can you imagine walking senior year with a _child _protruding out of you?"

"_Don't_ feel bad for her." Victoria said. "She shoulda kept 'em crossed."

I slapped her knee. "Don't talk about her like that. It was most likely an accident. You don't know. She's had a rough life."

"Most everybody has—look at you." I glared at her. "Right, sorry." She apologized. "Touchy subject with you."

"Forget about it." I told her, shaking my head. I turned to Bree and gave a devious smile. "I want to know about this _Diego_ that I've heard almost nothing about."

Bree bit her lip and blushed. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Bull!" I shout. "You're going to spill everything…now!" I demanded.

"Okay." She paused gathering her thoughts together. "He's really tall—like Jacob. He's got dark chocolate colored hair, it's kinda curly. Mhhhmmm…" She thought over things. "Deep blue eyes, one dimple on his left cheek. Real beefy—like, really buff. His dad's Samoan, so he's got that tan tan skin color. He's really sweet—and a tough, Christian guy. That's an extra point from my parents' side. He believes our wedding night will be spectacular—"

"You're already talking _marriage?_" I asked in disbelief.

She blushed a darker shade of red. "And kids; four, to be exact. And he wants two dogs. Preferably mastiffs—one named Balthazar and another named Rosco."

I shook my head, unable to stop smiling. "I can't…wow, I cannot believe you want to settle down with a guy _now."_

"I think he's the one. He's everything I want and everything I'm not. He's everything I can't be. We balance each other out nicely."

"Yeah, yeah." Victoria waved the conversation away ruining the special moment. "So, does Jacob know?"

I cocked my head an eyed her. "Know about what…?"

"Everything." She said slowly and quietly.

I sighed. "There are _some _things that Jacob doesn't know. But overall..." I nodded to myself. "Yeah, I guess he knows."

They looked shocked. "You told him about…_her._" Bree whispered.

"And that I take medication…and my rape." The word tasted sour on my tongue. I tried to ignore that feeling I got when I talked about, but it was growing more impossible each day. Mostly because the subject had been brought up yet again in my life.

"Wow." They said in awe. "You like him…a lot." Bree smiled.

"Yeah. I do." I said simply.

"Like, me and my relationship to Jell-O shots or like, my future husbandry consisting of Robert Pattinson?" Victoria shook my shoulders.

I snorted. "You do realize that _husbandry _is for farming and/ or crop growing, right?"

She looked off in a distance and shuddered in pleasure. "I'd let him harvest my crops _anyday…_"

I rolled my eyes, but felt somewhat accomplished at using a term that Jacob had taught me.

Bree ignored Victoria and got off the subject. "Have things been cool around here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You talk about Jacob a lot. You see Jacob a lot, I assume. Do you ever think about…ya know, Nahuel?"

At first, I didn't know what to say. After a while, I simply answered her honestly. "Of course I think about Nahuel. He's my boyfriend."

Victoria bit her lip, like she was holding something back. "You said that like you're ashamed that he's your boyfriend…"

I didn't answer.

"But you like Jacob…" Bree said slowly like I was dumb.

"Yeah. I do—I thought we already covered this."

"We did…" Bree looked at Victoria and nodded. She looked back at me. "But _we _don't think that _you really _covered it with _yourself_."

"I'm not following." I said.

"You say that you like him—we even caught you guys in a _very_ compromising position in that barn up in that field." Victoria pointed in the direction of the field from us.

I couldn't help the small smile that escaped my lips as I thought about when I'd fallen on top of him at _Eclipsed_…

_"You don't make me nervous, Jacob." I whispered to him. It wasn't until now that I realized how close our faces were. His lips less than three inches from my own._

_"Do I make you uncomfortable?" He whispered back._

_"Strangely," I smiled down on him. "in this compromising position…no. I feel no discomfort whatsoever."_

"You look at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world." Victoria said, bringing me back. "He kissed you before he left—"

"Point. They usually exist after the lecture. Get to it." I sighed.

"Why are you still with _Medeiros _when clearly _Jacob_ makes you so much happier?"

"It's complicated." They were the same words I had told Jacob. They flung out of my mouth like a reflex. "I mean, I just am—"

"Renesmee Cullen…" Victoria turned whiter. "Is he doing it again?" She whispered.

"No." I jumped. "My love for Nahuel is genuine. You should know that. He's not—no." I shook my head.

They both sighed like robots again. "Fine." Bree said. "We give up."

"We do?" Victoria asked her. Bree jabbed her again. "We do." She said sternly with a tough nod.

"Give up what?" I whined. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing." They said.

"Girls!" Sue called up the stairs. "Would you like to come help set the table?"

"Coming!" I yelled back down to her. "We'll discuss this later." I told them before we headed for the kitchen.

* * *

"Renesmee, dear," Sue reached out a hand to a pair of potholders she couldn't reach. "Hand me those, would you?"

I leaned out and laid them in her hands. She said thank you and traded me the silverware to put on the table. I walked over to the large mahogany table and set down the proper silverware arrangement. The table could seat twelve people and I had been informed that all twelve seats would be filled along with a small high chair for a small toddler I didn't know. Bree and Victoria danced around the kitchen doing whatever they were told to do. Seth and Brady were sitting on the sofa watching TV. Grandpa walked through the door.

"I'm home." He announced. He waved at Seth and Brady. "Hey boys." He said. He walked into the kitchen and hugged me. "Hello darling."

"Hello Grandpa." I hugged him back.

He looked at Bree and Victoria. "When did we hire the cooks?" He asked me with a chuckle.

I smiled. "These are my friends from back home. Bree and Victoria. They came to visit me."

"They're fantastic in the kitchen!" Sue kissed Grandpa and laughed. "Maybe we _should _hire them."

"Sam and Emily are here." Seth said from the living room. "They're pulling down the driveway now."

I had met Emily at Jacob's surprise party. We didn't have an actual _conversation_, but I sensed that she was as sweet as Sue. I had later found out from Jacob that Sam was his boss.

Keyword: _Was._

Jacob had told me that he had quit after an argument that he couldn't say. It was "classified information" or something.

A few minutes later a squealing toddler was running around the house shouting made up words at people—Victoria swore that he was quoting Lady Gaga songs.

Right now, he had taken a liking to Bree and was sitting in her lap bouncing up and down.

"What's your name?" He asked her.

"My name is Bree. What's your name?"

"Levi Uley." He giggled and covered his hands over his mouth. "I'm this many!" He held up three fingers. "How old are you?"

"I'm seventeen." She said in mock disbelief. He smiled. "I have a little brother. His name is Liam."

Levi gasped at her words. "Maybe we could play trucks."

"Maybe." She told him.

I left the crowd that was beginning to form around them—it consisted of all the women; the guys were in the living room talking about something I wasn't too concerned with. I walked to the front door foyer and looked out the window.

There was no sign of Jacob yet. He said he would see me though. Tonight at dinner. I felt so lonely without him by my side, without him holding my hand. We didn't exactly leave each other with too great of a time earlier.

_My stomach lurched and I thought I was going to puke. "I got a phone call yesterday, too." I paused and he was eager for me to go on._

_"It was from…Nahuel." He glanced at me with scared eyes, like he knew what I was going to say. "He asked me…if we could get back together…"_

_Jacob choked out. "You told him no, right?" I didn't speak. He pulled back a little. "Right?"_

Wrong.

I _had_ taken Nahuel back. I had no other choice.

_"Just think it over a little bit more. Just…just think of me."_

I did…_all the time. _

That's what my life was now—thinking of Jacob, but I was just thinking.

Because I couldn't do anything about anything further.

"But you want to…"

I gasped and my head snapped up toward the stairs. I couldn't breathe…it was _her _again_. _I had to blink about for times to really _see _her.

_HOW? _I was taking the Anafranil—it was supposed to stop my seeing her. Instead…it only made her more…distinct.

She hovered at the top of the staircase in a blinding white robe. Her skin was darker…a soft tan color rather than just the pale _blech _color. Her eyes were the color of the finest emeralds and almost cat shaped.

This was wrong…so wrong. So much more wrong than ever before—and even _that _was pushing it.

My feet began to move up the stairs by themselves and she never moved. She simply stared at me and gave—for the first time in history—a smile.

Her teeth were perfect and white. The closer I got to her, the younger she looked. She looked like she was thirteen or fourteen now, so young compared to her previous elderly skin that was nearly translucent.

"You love him…" She said nonchalantly like she was my best friend. "I can see it in your eyes."

"Who…are you?" I whispered reaching out to touch her cheek with my palm.

Before I could see what would happen, she was gone…

* * *

It was so _loud. _Everyone's laughter occupied the oxygen in the room.

It wasn't only because I was becoming claustrophobic from the—one, two, three…_eleven—_people at the mahogany table. It was actually because the table set thirteen and two seat were empty.

Jacob and his father, Billy.

I had only met Billy once at Jacob's party. He didn't seem too friendly when he had found out that I was a Cullen, but Jacob had told me he was actually a great and wouldn't answer me when I asked him what the deal was with my last name.

I knew that his dad had had a series of strokes when Jacob was younger causing Jacob to drop out of high school for good.

_"Good," _Jacob had told me. _"I'd rather just go straight to work anyway. Bypass the whole stress of college-prep and all that bullshit."_

I had just nodded then.

I looked up at the clock. We had all sat down and waited since seven. Now, as I looked up at the clock, it was almost fifteen after.

Just then I heard the front door open and then close almost a second later.

Jacob walked in holding a white box in one hand and wheeling his father into the kitchen with the other.

"Sorry we're so late." Billy apologized in a gravelly voice. Through his paralyzed face he smiled. "We come bearing gifts of apology." He reached and took the box from Jacob.

"Mr. Carrillo's homemade pecan pie." Jacob said. His expression looked the same as always, but only I could tell that it was forced.

"Oooh!" Sue said getting up from the end of the table. I looked towards her and saw Leah glaring at me. She was sitting beside Bree and in front of Emily who was holding a squirming Levi in her arms. "I was just wondering what our dessert was going to be." She bent and kissed Billy on the cheek. "That was very sweet of you." Jacob bent and she kissed his cheek as well. "You too, Jake."

Sue carried the pie to the refrigerator and set it down. "Billy, you're in between Sam and Charlie." She told him, shutting the fridge. "Jake, you're on the _other _side of Charlie and right beside Renesmee."

Jake nodded and wheeled Billy into place…then he looked at me with another forced smile.

I smiled back; mine was natural. "Hey," I whispered to him and he sat down.

"Hi." He said back in a guarded voice.

I didn't know what else to say to him.

Obviously, by the look on his face, he wasn't too proud of me…_of my decision._

II reached for a plate and gave it to him. He murmured out a, "Thank you." and I said, "Your welcome."

I glanced to my left and Victoria gave the "awkward turtle" motion. I rolled my eyes and looked back to Jacob who was trying to focus on the conversation between Billy and Grandpa.

"…it wouldn't start. Damn truck." Billy said. "Trust me. We would've been here sooner."

"Did you take it to the shop?" Grandpa asked handing Billy a napkin.

Jacob answered, "I called one of the guys. He came over at the last minute and took it on up there. We drove the Rabbit."

Grandpa nodded and then looked towards the tail end of the table at Sue. She nodded back to him and smiled. "I'd like to make a toast." Grandpa said. He stood with his drink in his hand. "Sue and I are so proud to have everyone we love at this table. Even _if_ a couple were late." He looked between Jacob and Billy suspiciously. Everyone laughed. "We're thrilled to have our beautiful granddaughter, Renesmee." He winked at me and I smiled, shaking my head. "And her equally beautiful friends, Victoria and Bree." They nodded at him and smiled. "I'm so thankful for all of this. God has blessed this table. This house. And this family." He held out his glass. "Let's eat." He said and everyone began talking once more.

If I was claustrophobic before, I was asphyxiating now.

Jacob wouldn't say one word to me. Or look at me. Or acknowledge my existence. I couldn't really eat anything at all. I had thought if he were there, I'd feel better. I couldn't be any more wrong.

"Renesmee." Billy called out to me. I looked up at him and pushed out a smile. "You should come by the house sometime. We got a lake. Maybe you and Jake can go skinny-dippin' sometime." Beside a red-faced Jacob, Grandpa choked on his potatoes. Billy let out a hardy chuckle and patted Grandpa's back. "Only kiddin' Charlie."

"Dad." Jacob said with a snuff. "One night. Can you go one night without making my life hell?" It was clearly meant as a joke because Jacob let out a small smile.

"It's my job, boy."

"Well, you're fired." Jacob retorted.

They laughed and I tried my hardest _not_ to imagine Jacob and I both naked in the water…Jacob's body all wet…and glistening…Jacob touching me and satisfying me in ways I never had had before…with his strong, massive hands—

I accidently let out a moan. Jacob's head snapped down and he stared into my eyes. I smiled awkwardly and could feel my cheeks burning.

"Pass the peas." I whipped my head towards the opposite end of the table. "Please."

Sue heard me and told Leah, "Will you give Renesmee a few peas, please?"

"Sure." Leah smiled evilly.

Before I could see what the hell was about to go down, she loaded the little English peas onto a bendable spoon and shot at least seven into my face.

The table fell silent as they tried to figure out what had just happened.

I couldn't believe it myself. I sat there with my mouth hanging open for about ten seconds before I reacted.

"Is that enough?" Leah asked with a smug smile. "Or do you want more?"

"Oh, I'll give you more!" I jumped out of my chair and practically leaped over Victoria and Bree. With all the force I had in my body, I slapped Leah dead across the cheek.

She stammered back a step and held her hand to the side of her face. "Oh, no you didn't!" She pulled herself off the ground grabbed at my hair. My back hit the wall and I kicked her in the stomach. She let out a huff of breath and then I saw Sam Uley jump over the table like I had done and hold Leah back in his arms.

In the same second, I felt a pair of familiar, strong arms lock around my body as well. I didn't have to look up to know it was Jacob.

"Renesmee, calm down." Jacob whispered into my ear. I started relaxing and then Leah somehow managed to escape from Sam's grip and was hurdling towards me. Grandpa jumped in and pushed her back.

"DON'T MAKE ME GET MY GUN!" He shouted, barely audible over Leah's profanities. I was trying _so_ _hard _to get Jacob to release me.

"Hold my earrings!" I heard Victoria shout at Bree. I looked over and saw that Bree was being dragged towards the fight unwillingly; she was attached to V's arm.

Across the room, Levi was screaming; Sue and Emily couldn't get him to stop, so they left the room and went onto the porch.

"Renesmee, stop this. Now." Jacob said into my ear. But I couldn't let her go that easily.

But of course, that's when Seth stepped in. He left Brady's side at the table. "Hey!" He shouted at his sister to quiet down. She wouldn't listen. "You made the baby cry!" He shouted at her once more, but even _that _didn't stop her. So, I could see it in his eyes…the thing he had been trying to keep secret for so long. "I'm _GAY_!"

Unfortunately...it worked.

Leah stared at him—the whole pea incident nearly forgotten.

"What?" Leah and Grandpa stared at him in disbelief. "No, you're not." Leah said, barely audible.

"Yeah, no. I'm pretty sure I am." Seth nodded.

"Come on, let's get outta here." Jacob placed his hand on the small of my back and led me towards the back door while they kept on arguing about Seth's sexuality.

* * *

Of course, it was easy to guess where we would go. The barn.

I paced back and forth shouting at Jacob—well, no. _To _Jacob would be more appropriate.

"What the hell was that about?" I screamed. He just sat on the workbench and stared at me, without saying a single word. "I haven't seen her in _days. _What can she possibly be pissed about now?"

"She's seen us…together. Around here. She may be a bitch, but she ain't an idiot." He hopped down and walked towards me.

I stopped pacing and he held my right hand; he slowly began to intertwine our fingers together. I stared at our hands and how it was so effortless to want him.

"We've been growing together. This whole time. You and me. _Just _us. No interference from the outside world." He kissed the back of my hand. "Maybe you should listen to my dad."

I touched my hand to his chest and whispered seductively, "Are you saying you want to take me skinny-dipping?"

He gave a crooked grin. "As tempting as that sounds, it's not what I mean."

"Then what are you saying?"

"We should try." He said. "Being together. I want you, Renesmee. I want you to be mine."

"Jacob, you know I can't—I already told you that. It wouldn't work. It _couldn't_ work—"

I blinked, and before I could breathe out, Jacob pressed his warm lips to my own. It was soft and very sweet. I almost cried when he left my touch.

"What about now?" He whispered, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I sighed and gazed into his beautiful eyes. "Very, _very _persuasive." I breathed out.

"But it's not enough…" It wasn't a question because he already knew the answer.

"No." I told him sadly.

"Why then?" He asked. "Why'd you tell him yes?"

"Because I love him." I said, looking down to the dusty ground.

"Why can't you love me?" He asked lifting my chin up.

The look on his face was pitiful. His features were ashen and crucial. "Why?" He repeated.

I couldn't tell him the truth…so, for the first time to Jacob…I lied. "I barely know you, Jacob."

He shook his head at me. "What do you want to know? I'll tell you everything—"

"It won't help anything." _That_ was the truth.

"Fine." He said. His lips pressed into a tight line. "Let's go back to the house."

On the walk back, he didn't say anything at all. Before we reached the door I asked him, "Are you mad at me?" No answer. "I'm really sorry—"

"Don't say you're sorry." He almost growled at me. I backed off a little. "'Cause you're not, or else you'd be with me." He shook his head slowly. "You'd be my girl. You're not sorry."

But I was…

* * *

When we went back inside, things had completely cooled down. Leah was nowhere in sight, so that was a plus.

I watched Sam come from the living room. He patted Jacob on the shoulder, "We need to talk, man." Jacob hesitated and then nodded. They sat at the table; I went into the living room, where I found Seth and Brady.

"Seth." I smiled. "I'm proud of you. But you didn't have to do that."

"Don't even bother. You know it was the only thing left to do." He patted Brady's knee and smiled at him. "We don't need to hide anymore…and it's all because of you." He looked back at me. "Thank you." He said.

I nodded. "You're welcome...I think."

"Thank you, Renesmee." Brady said to me. "And sorry about earlier. Like Seth told you, we thought we were alone—"

"It's fine." I laughed. "Really…I _may_ be scarred for life, but I'll be fine."

They laughed at me.

"Alright, do you guys know where Victoria and Bree went?"

"On the porch." Seth said and then started talking to Brady.

I walked through the kitchen; I heard a snippet of conversation between Jacob and Sam. They were sitting at the table.

"You _know _we need you, Jacob. You one of the best we got." Sam patted Jacob on the shoulder. "What do I have to do for you to come back to BDA?"

"I can barely support Billy. I need a raise, Sam. I'm not asking for a _whole _lot…" Jacob shook his head. "Just enough to get by…"

I could feel his eyes following me out of the room.

I could hear Victoria's obnoxious laughter outside. When I walked out, Sue and Victoria were swinging on the porch swing and were purple in the face; as were Emily and Bree.

"What's so funny?" I asked taking a seat on the ground by Levi. He was wheeling his monster trucks around.

"Oh. It's nothing." Bree said to me, holding in her laughter.

"O...kkk_aayyy_…?"

I sat there for the next few minutes; simply ignoring the words said around me. I only stared at the sun as it went down.

* * *

"I think it's about time for us to leave." Bree stood and looked at Victoria, who also stood.

"There's no rush, girls." Sue said.

"Oh, it's just a little jet lag. A simple goodnight's sleep will take care of that." Victoria answered her.

"Yeah," Bree agreed. "We'll come back soon. We're in town for a few more days."

"Yeppers!" Victoria smiled. "You'll see this face so much that you'll get tired of it."

"Oh, please." Sue waved her comment off. "Impossible."

"No, it's possible." I said from the ground, getting up.

"Har, har, Cullen." Victoria said rolling her eyes playfully.

"Well, alright." Sue hugged them. "Have a safe ride back."

"Thanks." They said. Sue went back inside with Emily and Levi.

"So," I said to them. "Sorry about the whole fiasco with the peas tonight."

"She's a _bitch_." Victoria stressed. "Gah, I wanted to _cut _her."

"Forget about her. You're only giving her free rent space in your head—and believe me," I smirked. "You need all that free space you can get."

She smacked me. "Rude…I think."

"Meet us somewhere tomorrow." Bree said. "Particularly a coffee place."

"There's a Starbucks in Aiken." I said.

"Deal. We'll find it. 'Bye." They both hugged me and left out.

I stayed on the porch, listening to the quiet. A few minutes later, I was disrupted by a screaming toddler who didn't want to leave just yet. Sam and Emily told me goodbye and to have a nice night. Then they proceeded to buckle their son in and left down the dusty driveway in a white SUV.

A few minutes after that, Brady and Seth filed out of the house with one another. Seth walked Brady to his Green Mustang and kissed him softly on the lips. I couldn't help but smile.

"What?" Seth asked me when Brady was gone.

"Nothing." I shook my head. "You guys are cute. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks." Seth said.

As soon as the word left his mouth, the door opened yet again. This time I saw Billy and Jacob behind him. When Jacob saw me, he only half-smiled. Billy looked at him and then me.

"I can take care of myself, Jake." He said and proceeded to push himself down the little ramp. Seth walked back inside the house.

Jacob sighed and then looked at me once more.

"What was all that about with Sam?" I asked bluntly.

He nodded to himself. "I start back at work tomorrow. Guess we can't hang out like we usually do…" He shrugged. "Not that you'd want to."

I sighed showing him that I was frustrated. "You are being _way_ too overdramatic about this."

A moment later, I realized that these were the exact words I had told Nahuel. I remembered what had happened; Nahuel had blown up in my face, called me a whore and a bitch and a slut…I immediately wanted to take them back.

But Jacob did none of that. He simply nodded in agreement and said, "You're right. I am. I'm sorry." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "Goodnight, Renesmee." He whispered and began down the stairs.

I turned and placed a hand on the doorknob; I wasn't ready to look back at him.

"Renesmee." I heard Jacob call out. I reluctantly stopped and looked towards him. "I'm not mad at you." He said. "I gave you a choice. I told you to think it over. I told you to think of me, and you did." He shrugged and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Apparently…I'm not enough."

I felt the tears begin to rim and went inside quickly.

_Apparently, I'm not enough…_

But he was...

***I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I THINK IT'S A NICE FAMILY-TIME CHAPTER WITH ALL THE GUYS AND EVERYONE...AND TO ONE PARTICULAR REVIEWER: CONGRATS! YOU WERE RIGHT! SETH IS GAY! YAHOO! I LOVE GAY SETH, HE'S SO ADORABLE WITH BRADY! **

***ANYHOO, THANKS FOR READING! PLEASE REVIEW! MAYBE I'LL UPLOAD FASTER IF YOU DO! IN FACT, LET'S MAKE IT A LITTLE GAME! IF YOU GET ME SEVEN MORE REVIEWS, I WILL UPLOAD! SEVEN REVIEWS OR MORE! COME ON! PLEASSSSEEEE? FOR ME? FOR JAKE?**

** -CHAPTER 11 END NOTES-**

**Obviously you may be confused with the Renesmee/ Nahuel relationship status—even I am confused on their relationship and I know what is going to happen between them…Maybe this will sum it up: Nahuel and Renesmee ARE indeed back together. There is a VITAL piece of information you do not know yet in the story and most likely will NOT know until the final chapter of CP. But yes, they are together. Call Renesmee and Nahuel whatever you like. You will understand their relationship status later on…Nahuel is a manipulative jerk in my opinion.**


	9. Into The Darkness We Shine

***HHHEEEYYYY! SORRY I WASN'T ABLE TO REVIEW SOONER...I WAS HAVING "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES"-WHICH IS A _VERY _ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED...SO, MAYBE IF YOU REVIEW THIS ONE UP TO ABOUT TEN REVIEWS, I'LL UPDATE AGAIN. SO, LET'S AIM FOR TEN...IF WE HAVEN'T GOTTEN TEN REVIEWS IN TWO WEEKS, I'LL STILL UPDATE-I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MY WRITING FOR CP...RIGHT NOW I'M WORKING ON CH.13-IT'S CALLED "Sun, Sand, & Sex"...so good luck guessing what is in that. Point is, I am on thirteen when I _should_ be on about chapter sixteen...I'm still not sure how many chapters this entire story will have-I'M HOPING AT LEAST TWENTY-THREE BECAUSE THAT'S MY LUCKY NUMBER...And then after twenty-three-or the final chapter-I'll either break off into an epilogue or a sequal-but I'm leaving _THAT choice entirely up to my readers! I am giving myself absolutely NO say in it whatsoever-your choice! _**

**_*_So, here is chapter nine...thanks for all those reviews-especially mami-hai, dkgors, BrookeMegan, FallenAngel430, RSmith1219, Effiecient Vixen, beautifulmonsters, and Psych94...I LOVE YOU ALLL! And I'd love to talk to any of you guys to get to know you, answer your questions, or anything-just message me and I'll respond back! Thankssssss...!**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

"Renesmee." I heard Jacob call out. I reluctantly stopped and looked towards him. "I'm not mad at you." He said. "I gave you a choice. I told you to think it over. I told you to think of me and you did." He shrugged and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Apparently…I'm not enough."

I felt the tears begin to rim and went inside quickly.

_Apparently…I'm not enough…_

But he was…

**Ch. 9: Into The Darkness We Shine**

**This Ch. Switches POV …a lot (Try and keep up)**

"Oh _yeah…" _Victoria moaned at a cute blonde guy that walked past us loud enough for him to give her the nod. "I'd tap that."

Bree tucked her head down. "We can't take you _anywhere_, can we?"

"No." I answered for her. "And V, you'll _tap _anything that moves."

"That's not true!" She defended herself waving her arms around. "I draw the line at clowns…and nuns."

Bree and I looked at one another. "Um," I cocked my head. "You do realize that all nuns are _women…_right?"

She shrugged. "Then we won't have a problem, will we?"

I looked at the clock on my phone. It was now four twelve; we had been here since ten. The mall, that is. Although, Victoria had remarked that this mall was actually more like a _hall _seeing as it has barely _any_ human life forms in it.

All of our arms were getting the circulation cut off from all of the bags of clothes we had bought. Victoria and Bree were heading towards Hollister on the other end of the mall when something caught my eye in a shop window.

It was practically calling my name; just illuminating under a store lamp and sitting on top of a burlap sack.

It was a belt buckle. A rustic buckle with a familiar setting; a cowboy sitting atop a large, dark bull bucking it hind legs. The cowboy held his left hand high in the air.

Staring at it only one person came to mind…

_You have to get it for him, _I thought. _No, you're not really on speaking terms—or maybe you are and you don't know it. Get it. Get it. Get it!_

I took a step back from the window and looked above it. The name of the store was, _Titanium Sunsets _with a glowing half sunset slicing up into a new moon beside it.

My feet moved into the store and up to the counter where an elderly man was counting his money in drawer. He was a deep tan color with wrinkly skin and pale freckles splattered across his cheeks. His gray mustache stretched out into a beard. He looked up at me with a chipped smile and readjusted his glasses.

"Hello." He greeted me in a gravelly voice. "Can I help you with something?"

"Yes sir." I told him and gestured to the window. "I saw a buckle in the window. It's very lovely. I was wondering if you could bring it out so I could look at it."

"Oh, yes." He smiled and walked across the store. He spoke as he walked back to me, "You aren't the first person to like this—but you are the first pretty lady. I might be able to cut you a deal."

I smiled. "Thank you, but you don't have to—"

"I insist." He said and laid the buckle on a cloth in front of me. It was more beautiful than behind the window. "It's worth it. Are you thinking about getting it for someone special?"

I blushed and laughed. "He's…something like that."

"Then, no refusal. I'm giving you a fantastic deal!" He leaned against the counter as I stared down at it. "How about, um…" He tapped his hairy chin. "Thirty-five percent off of the original sale price."

"How much is…" He flipped it over, exposing the price. "Yikes." I whispered.

"I know, Four-sixty's a lot; that's why I want to cut you a deal. With thirty-five off, it'd be…" He paused and did the math in his head. "Two-ninety nine? It's still a little pricey but—"

"Worth it…" I nodded. "I think I'm going to get it, sir."

He smiled and clapped his hands together. "Alright, sweetheart."

I pulled my wallet from my purse and paid him in cash. He wrapped the shiny buckle in blue tissue paper and placed that in a bag with the store's logo on the front of it.

"Thank you. Please, come back anytime." He said handing me the bag. "And…" He lowered his voice. "Hope he likes it."

"I have a feeling that he will." I smiled and headed out the door.

Yeah, I knew for a fact Jacob would like it. Every time that he'd wear it, he'd think of me. Yeah, he'd like it…_Ego much?_

"Where the hell have you been?" I heard an anxious voice ask me. I looked over to see an angry Victoria glaring at me.

"I went into that store." I pointed towards _Titanium Sunsets. _

"Why would you go in there?" She asked.

"Because I found something for Jacob."

"Oooh! What? Lemme see!" She reached toward the back.

I jerked it away from her greedy little hands. "It's for Jacob. If he wants you to see it, he will show you."

"I wish it were that easy…" She mumbled, and I had the feeling we weren't talking about a belt buckle any more.

* * *

When the girls got back to the Swan residence, they took their belongings to Renesmee's room. Music was blaring out into the hallway from Seth's room.

Renesmee smiled and then waved her hand to the girls for them to follow her. "You have got to see Seth's drawings. He's amazing." She told them.

"Actually," Victoria said. "I'm kind of thirsty."

"There's a Dr. Pepper in the fridge downstairs." Renesmee told her. "No one will care if you have one."

"Is it the one with the _twenty-three _flavors?"

"I don't know." Renesmee laughed. "Go find out."

So she did.

She walked down the stairs mumbling random words that weren't even in full sentences. When she reached the fridge, she opened it and scoured it for the Dr. Pepper. The back door opened, but she didn't hear it.

"Hey, beautiful…" _That, _however, she heard.

She shut the fridge, with her drink in hand, and stared at Jacob. "Hey, big sexy." She said back to him.

He stared at her with wide eyes. "Oh, sorry. I thought you were—"

"I know; she's upstairs." She popped the top to her soda and took a sip. "Wish I was her though…"

"Oh, yeah? Why is that?" Jacob took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Because I would've gotten the opportunity for you to throw me against that counter and molest me with those full lips of yours." She smirked. "And that, class, is why it sucks to be me."

Jacob laughed. "Will she be down soon?"

Victoria shrugged. "She's checking out Seth's _portfolio." _

"I," Jacob paused. "I thought he was gay."

Victoria laughed now. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Black. A portfolio is a bunch of artsy crap. She's not going to leave you."

Jacob rolled his eyes, but liked the way she had said that; like Renesmee was already his.

"How did all of y'all meet?" Jacob asked. It was a question that he'd wondered about for a while. "No offense, but none of y'all three seem like you'd get along at all."

"That is a good question, Jacob." Victoria nodded. "I met Renesmee in seventh grade. She caught Marcus Bates motor-boating me outside of gym and, like the inner skank she is, she joined in." Jacob's eyes widened and he shifted in his seat. "Just kidding." Victoria laughed. "We were at _hell _of a party in ninth grade. We met at the kegstand." Jacob leaned back in his chair fighting with the smile on his lips. "What?" Victoria asked him.

"She doesn't seem like she's got in her anymore."

"Oh." Victoria laughed. "It's in there all right. Just got to dig a little bit." It was quiet for a moment. Then Victoria rolled her eyes and laughed.

"What?" Jacob asked.

"Oh, nothing; I just remembered that that was the same night that we talked everyone into using a bunch of Band-Aids to create _really _tiny jockstraps to put on those little green bananas from Honduras."

Jacob looked at her oddly. "Sounds like…fun".

"Oh, it was." Victoria changed the subject. "Bree came later. She transferred from some school in Alabama in, like, the middle of ninth. We all just…clicked. We balance each other out. Bree's the innocent one, I'm…well, I'm me. And R's is just our love child but…_totally _not. She's not innocent—by _any _means." Jacob smirked to himself. "She's not…well, _me. _She's…_her._"

"What about this…_boyfriend _she's got?" Jacob said disgustedly.

"You mean, 'give me the dirt on the dick so I can look _amaze_ to her'?" Jacob was silent; V went on, "He's a dick—but I don't have to tell you that. I don't really…understand their relationship. Like, she loves him one day; hates him the next. Or he loves her, and then doesn't even want to be seen in public with her. I hate to say it, but she's stupid to keep going back to him."

"Why_ does_ she go back to him?"

Victoria leaned forward and whispered, "Can you keep a secret?" Jacob nodded slightly. "He's holding something over her. That's the only reason. It's not the first time he's done it, either. One day, he's going to push it too far and one of them will just…snap."

"What's he holding over her—"

"Jacob?" Renesmee poked her head into the kitchen.

He stood up. "Hey." He said.

"How was your first day back?" She asked sheepishly holding her arms close to her sides.

"Good…Awkward." They both looked between Victoria and Bree, who had just walked into the room.

"Yes." Victoria said, pushing Bree out of the kitchen. "Much like our existence in this room. Come along, Bree." Victoria nudged Renesmee. "FYI, I'm going to try on some of your new clothes—but don't worry…" She smirked at Jacob. "I won't _touch _any of your new _satiny_, _silky_, _lacy_, _see_-through _bras_."

"Good-bye, guys." Renesmee tried to hide her blush, but it was almost impossible. Upstairs, the door shut.

"Wow…" Jacob sighed. "I'm not going to lie to you…" He walked over to her and flipped a lock of her hair from her shoulder. "I'm a little turned on right now."

"Mhmm…" Renesmee sighed. "Remind me to wear safety glasses around you next time that happens; I wouldn't want that button to pop off the front of your jeans and jab my eye out."

He smiled crookedly at her and sat back down at the table. He pulled her into his lap and she didn't refuse the seat.

"They're leaving tomorrow." She said absentmindedly.

"Too bad; I like them."

"That's a first." Renesmee remarked.

"What's that?"

"It's a first that one of my lovers actually _likes_ my best friends."

"Since when am I your _lover_? We barely touch." Jacob nudged her playfully.

"Okay…" She thought it over. "I'm your pimp." She said simply.

Jacob laughed. "Does that make me your bitch?"

Renesmee was laughing now. "We'll see. To be _my_ bitch…" She seductively whispered in his ear. "…you have to _earn_ it."

"Oh, yeah?" He whispered back. "How do I do that?"

She licked her lips. "I'm sure you'll figure _something_ out…"

Jacob fixed a soft kiss on her lips. She gave him a kiss back, which was only made steamier when she sucked onto his bottom lip roughly and gave it a soft bite. He loved the way she tasted on his tongue and she felt the same.

She turned her body so that she was straddling his waist. She arched her back and he kissed her down her throat, her collarbone, her shoulders...He grazed her back with his hands ever so lightly; she shivered at his warm touch and at how delicate he was to her. She slid a graceful finger down his chest and to the button of his jeans—

The front door hit the door stopper with a _thud._ Jacob reluctantly caught her hand before it could travel any farther. 

"Grandpa's home." She looked down at the large bulge in his pants. "Hide that."

"Where's he supposed to go?"

"_He_? Oh, nevermind. Anywhere except here." She said back. She left Jacob and stood by the oven, leaning against the counter. Jacob placed his hands over his lap just as Charlie rounded the corner.

"Hey Charlie." Jacob said calmly.

"Hey Jake…?" He looked at Jacob, his granddaughter in the corner of the room, and then to Jacob's hands; he was suspicious but didn't say anything. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and left for the living room.

When he was gone, Renesmee and Jacob both began laughing. "He _so_ wants to taze you right now." She said to him.

They laughed for a few more moments. "As much…_fun_ as I'm having, I'm sad to say I've gotta leave." He walked over to Renesmee. She threw her arms around his neck.

"Are you sure?" She asked him seductively.

"No." He admitted with a chuckle. "But I need to feed Billy."

Renesmee nodded and let go of him. They walked to the back door. Renesmee opened it for him. He hugged her good-bye, but she pulled him down for another kiss. She pulled away quickly once she felt Charlie's eyes on her. She reached for Jacob's hand and opened the palm. She placed a wad of cash into the center of it. He looked at her in confusion.

She whispered, "I heard you talking to Sam; you guys barely have enough to get by with. I, at least, want to help you guys get fed."

"Renesmee," He shook his head. "How much is this?"

"Seven hundred."

"Are you crazy?" Jacob laughed. "I can't take this from you. Here." He handed it back to her.

"Fine." Shrugged and then tugged on the hem of his shirt. "I could _always _pay you in sexual favors…"

Jacob laughed once more. "Yeah, sugar-mama, we'll see what Charlie has to say about that."

They both stole a glance at Charlie who was across the room reading the newspaper. He didn't look up from his reading glasses as he said, "Tell Billy I said _hello, _Jake. Good-_bye_."

"'Bye, Charlie." Jacob snorted and headed out the door.

Renesmee watched him as he left down the driveway yet again.

* * *

That night Renesmee shook violently in her bed from fear.

She dreamed of blackness. It was so dark that she couldn't even see her hand in front of her face.

"Hello?" She spoke into the black abyss. From what she could, she was the only one in the…well, wherever she was. That was until she heard a soft voice.

"This is love…"

Renesmee stumbled around in the darkness; her arms held in front of her to find something—anything—to hold on to.

"What do you mean?" She asked in a quivering voice to the mysterious stranger. "Love? Who are you?"

"Yeah, Renesmee." This voice she knew. It was deep and husky.

"Jacob?" She called out. "Where are you? I can't see anything."

Just like that, a burst of light shot from out of nowhere nearly blinding Renesmee. She shielded her face with her hands and could see his figure in a distance. She started towards him.

"We could be this, Renesmee." Jacob's hand floated out to his sides emphasizing the brightness. "We could be light."

"I don't understand—"

It was immediately back to the darkness, only this time, Renesmee could see shapes—but not their colors.

Where she stood above a pale grassy plain she looked down at the bottom of a rolling gray hill. There she saw _her _standing over three people lying on the ground. Renesmee slowly ran to the bodies; her feet felt like the feeling when she was trudging through water.

She gasped in sheer terror when she saw what was before her.

They were the faces of the people she loved.

She dropped to her knees when she saw her two best friends' faces all contorted in pain. She felt the tears stream from her eyes as if they were acid. She looked across their bodies for what was causing them to be so still, but she saw nothing.

"Victoria!" She shook her lifeless friend's limp arm. After a moment of realization that she was dead, she moved to the next body. "Bree…" She sobbed. "No, no. Bree…no." She grabbed at Bree's wrist for a pulse…but nothing.

She didn't want to turn; she knew who the third body belonged to.

She turned slowly anyway and stared down at his pale, ashen features face. "Jacob…" Renesmee shook her head and pulled her face to his chest listening to his heart.

_Thump…Ga-lump…,_ there was an agonizing pause and they started back even slower.

"Jacob." She whispered in his ear. Her voice broke.

His eyes opened dangerously slow and with a cracked whisper he said, "Ren…nesmee…"

"I'm here Jacob." She said, stroking his hair. "What happened?"

"Love…you." His heart one more _thump _and then it was over.

A cold, pale body lay there with his brown eyes dead, staring into the nothingness above them.

The ground opened up beneath her and she began to fall. She reached for something—anything.

Her hand struck a large root from an old oak tree. She held on with all her might. The birds in the trees were singing as if they couldn't even see the scene before their small, beady eyes.

Her grip was slipping from the root. She looked down at what her death was going to be and saw nothing but darkness. She could the rocks falling over the edge, but she never heard them hit the bottom.

A soft glow flickered in a distance. She saw a young girl in a flowing dress with her dark hair stretching down her back. The dress and her eyes seemed to be the only colors in the whole area that she was able to acknowledge.

"You!" Renesmee screamed in fury at the figure in the distance. "_You_ did this!"

"Me?" The girl turned and Renesmee recognized her immediately. It was the girl from the top of the stairs from dinner only a day ago.

The girl asked in a soft voice, causing the birds to hush. "What did I do?"

"W-what do you want from me?" Renesmee asked in almost a whisper. Her face was planted in perfect view of their still bodies.

"I'm only trying to protect you." She replied.

"Protect me?" Renesmee asked disbelievingly. "Then why are they…" She looked over to her losses. "…dead..?"

"It wasn't me." The girl said in a whispery voice. "You have to believe me."

"Then who was it?" She demanded of her.

"The darkness."

The words caused a violent tremor to rip open the earth once more. Renesmee began falling out of reach of anything. Her friends, her answers, her everything.

"But one more thing…" The voice was suddenly at her ear. Renesmee couldn't move her head from all the pressure dropping. Her ears began to pop, but she heard her final words… "In the end, they won."

* * *

I jerked upright in the bed with my hand gripping around my throat to find air. I gasped and flung the covers from my body onto the floor. I was drenched in sweat from head to toe; my hair was matted to my head. My heart was audibly pounding almost as fast as a hummingbird's would've been. I sat there for a few minutes trying—unsuccessfully—not to think about what had just happened in that dream.

But it was frying my brain like acid.

I tried to imagine a world without Victoria—without Bree. A world without…Jacob.

A tear slipped down my cheek as I reached for my phone on the nightstand.

I flipped it open—the light almost blinding me—and dialed Victoria's number.

_Ring….Ring…Ring…Ring…Rin—_

_Hello? _She answered in a groggy voice. _What is it, Cullen? I don't know if you've noticed or not, but it's… _she yawned…_three fifty-four in the morning—_

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

Awkward silence.

_Um…Is there something I should be concerned about right now? Like—I don't know—the fact that you've turned lesbo over night?_

I laughed quietly; Leah was in her bed snoring. I didn't want to wake her.

"No, uh…" I rubbed my eyes. "I just a terrible dream is all."

_What? Did I die or something? _

Silence.

_Holy shit…You fuckin' killed me. _She said and in the background, I heard another voice scream: _LANGUAGE, VICTORIA!_

"Is that Bree? Can I talk to her for a sec?"

_Fine. Here, it's R. _I heard them transfer the phone.

_Hey, what's wrong?_

"Bad dream."

_Was _she_ in it?_

"Yes—no. I mean, yes."

_Well, which is it?_

"It was _her_. Definitely." I scratched my head."But it…wasn't."

_What exactly does that mean?_

"This girl was, like, thirteen. She was young. She had dark hair. It was sorta black with hints of copper in it. I don't know."

_Tell me what happened._

I sighed. "It was dark. I couldn't see anything. Then I heard something that said something like, _this is love. _Kinda freaked me out. Then I heard Jacob's voice. He was telling me that we could be light. And then it was bright. Then I saw you and Victoria and Jacob dead. You were all lying there. I was so scared. She told me it was the darkness that did it but in the end you guys won." I took in a shaky breath. "I'm scared, Bree."

_Don't worry. _She said softly. _It was only a dream._

* * *

"Are you sure that you guys have to leave?" I asked Victoria as Bree brought out the rest of her bags from the lobby of their hotel.

"No." She answered. "But we're needed elsewhere."

I smiled. _Obviously, she means James and Diego._

"Tell him I said hey. And for him to take care of you."

"I will and he does." She said giving me a hug. "You, more than anyone, know that."

Bree dropped the luggage outside of their cab's door.

"I think that's it." She said dusting off her hands.

The driver got out and put their bags in the trunk.

"Hey," I said to them. "If you guys happen to see Nahuel tell him…I miss him." I don't know where the words came from but they flew out of my mouth.

"Oh, I've got something to tell him—" Victoria started, but punched in the side.

"What…?" I said cautiously.

"Um…" They both said and looked at one another.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked them both.

"Um…" Victoria said again. "Remember…the day you left to come here?"

"Yeah…?" I said hesitantly.

"Well…" Bree said.

"Remember those flowers that he gave _you_…"

I stared at Victoria. "Why did you say _you _in a pointed manner?"

She clucked her tongue. "Well…they weren't…_meant _for…_you."_

"What are you talking about?"

Bree spoke up. "We stayed at the airport a little longer than necessary." She looked up at V spitefully.

"Why…?"

"Um—"

"Omigod!" I said rudely. "Tell me what the hell you guys are talking about!"

"Nahuel wasn't there that morning for you." Bree said taking a small step backwards.

"What do you mean? He brought me flowers."

"No. I just told you that those flowers weren't _originally _for you. They were actually for the whore whose plane landed right after yours boarded." Victoria answered.

I stared at her again and repeated, "What are you talking about?"

"Just nevermind." She said and started back towards the cab.

"No." I grabbed her arm. "Tell me what you were going to say. What _whore_?"

"Okay, I'll tell you—but only if you let go of anything that could be dismembered." She said staring at her arm. I let go. "Okay…" She looked at Bree for a brief second. "Nahuel's cheating on you with a strawberry blonde skank-bag."

"Wh…what?" I asked taking a step back. "No." I shook my head, remembering the conversation with my father. "That's just his cousin. She flew in and they've been spending time with one another. He told me himself."

"Dude," Victoria stared at me like I was stupid. "She's white."

"So…?" I stared back the same way.

"He's from Portugal or Brazil or something—he can never keep his story straight. He's, like, uber tan. She looked like a cauliflower standing next to him."

"They could be cousins by marriage, Victoria." I said irritated.

"No." She looked at Bree. "But, _even if they were, _I'm not familiar with Portugulian customs, but I'm pretty sure that they don't tongue their family members."

"What?" I asked again this time more sternly.

"Yeah, dude." She nodded. "In, like, full-force-tongue-grab-my-taco stuff. It was nasty—"

Bree butted in. "Please, R. We wouldn't lie to you—you know that. You believe us, right?"

My mouth hung low. I couldn't focus on the words they were saying to me. I exhaled the words out while staring at the ground.

"Are you trying to tell that Nahuel…is cheating on me?"

I glanced up and looked at them. Bree bit her lip. Victoria was looking up at the sky.

"He can't be." I shook my head. "He just _can't_ be..." I stepped back, shaking my head furiously at them. "You're lying to me. You have to be. You've _never _liked him _ever. _How do I know that this is all a lie for me to leave him?"

"Renesmee," Victoria said exasperatedly. "Yeah, we _don't _like the guy, but that _definitely _would _not _give us an excuse to lie to you. We love you, you _know _that—"

"Yeah, R." Bree agreed with her head nodding. "It's all for the best, anyway. If he is—"

"How the _HELL _is that for the _best_?"

She said one word and I almost fell off my feet. "Jacob."

I sucked in a small breath. "W-what does he have to do with anything?"

"He really likes you."

"How do you know?"

"Because," Victoria rolled her eyes like the answer was obvious. "We're your best friends. Of course we know he likes you. Plus, we know you both touch each other erotically."

"We do not." I could feel my cheeks burning. "We're friends…with the occasional benefits…"

"Seal the deal." Bree said. "Breakup with Medeiros and get Jacob. You know you have feelings for him. You know he has feelings for you. Make. It. Official."

I sighed and then another question struck me making me suddenly infuriated. "Wait." I huffed. "If you guys have known about what Nahuel's been up to this whole summer—why have you not told me before now?"

They looked at one another. Bree was the one to answer. "We were waiting on the perfect moment—"

"To tell me my boyfriend is _cheating _on me?" I screeched. "Oh, yeah. _Please_, tell me whenthe 'perfect moment' for _that_ moment is!"

"Well," Victoria mumbled. "Certainly not now."

"We just didn't want…to…_bother _you with the information over the phone. Or at dinner. Or when you were so wrapped in Jacob. So…we thought that _now..._would be a good time."

"I thought you were my friends." I took a long step backwards away from them towards my truck.

"R, we are your friends—" Bree began but I interrupted her.

"No, were. You were my friends." I spat at both of them. "Because real friends tell something like that the second they found out. They don't wait six weeks." I opened the door of my truck and got in. I started it up, slammed the door and rolled down the windows. "Fuck you." I spat at them and flicked them a very obscene gesture before driving full speed out onto the road. I regretted everything…but I knew I couldn't take it back.

* * *

I cried at every red light I stopped at. I didn't even bother to hide my tears from the neighboring cars around me.

To be honest, I didn't know why I was crying.

Maybe it was because my boyfriend was a bigger asshole than I thought he was. Maybe it was because I had just lost the two greatest people that had ever entered into my life.

Or maybe it was because everything that they had just said to me was the truth.

Nahuel had been a little awkward when I brought up his "cousin" via Skype: True. I didn't want to have the slightest bit of doubt when it came to that subject. I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. But, truth be told, I never got that wish.

The feelings Jacob held for me were obvious: True. He flirted with me; I flirted back. It's in my nature to be a social butterfly. I can't imagine life any other way. I could tell Jacob's feelings now that they were brought to my attention. He liked me…Which brought me to another truth that was a little iffy to walk around.

The feelings in which Jacob held for me were mutual:…True.

I had to admit it to myself. _I have feelings for Jacob Black._

No…it was more than just a "_feeling_"…

_I think…that just maybe…I might be…_I sighed, letting reality cut through my heart and soul like a ragged, rusty knife…_In _love_ with him._

***YAY! SHE'S REALIZED THAT SHE'S IN LOVE WITH JACOB! NEARLY TEN CHAPTERS LATER!...I WONDER WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHEN SHE GETS BACK TO THE HOUSE...? HMMMM...MAYBE SH'LL TALL JACOB AND HE WON'T FEEL THE SAME?...HMMM...MAYBE SHE'LL TELL HIM AND HE _WILL _FEEL THE SAME...HMMMM...MAYBE SHE WON'T TELL HIM AT ALL AND THEY BORE THROUGHOUT THE REST OF MY STORY...HMMMM-OR _MAYBE _NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THERE FIRST LEMON TOGETHER...HMMMMMMMMMMMM...GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE! (BUT IF I WERE YOU, I'D PICK OUT OF THE LAST TWO "MAYBE"'S...**

***NOTE: There truly isn't a Hollister store in the Aiken Mall. There also is not a store called, "Titanium Sunsets" (I just like the way that sounds). But you can't steal it without my consent; it's patented and I hold the rights.**

***REVIEW! I LOVE EVERY REVIEW I GET SOOOOOOOOO MUCH! VERY INSPIRING! SO REVIEW AND I'LL UPDATE BETTER THAN LAST TIME!**


	10. Lusty Nights and Hateful Eyes

***Okay, here it is—CHAPTER TEN! I promised some juicy stuff in this chapter. It's one of my favorites, because of the secrets that come out and the…ahem…_sensual detailing. _But I really liked writing this chapter, so I hope that you enjoy reading it. **

***Though I did not get the ten reviews I asked for, I did get about eight and a few PM's from my nuggets (my readers) and so I guess those would've been reason to update quicker, but I was kinda super-_duper _busy. So, sorey (my way of pronouncing the word "sorry" and no, I am not Canadian) about that.**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

***It has been brought to my attention that chapter nine was a bit…out there and confusing. I'm sorry if you feel that way. Just promise to hang in there for me.**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

The feelings in which Jacob held for me were mutual:…True.

I had to admit it to myself. _I have feelings for Jacob Black._

No…it was more than just a "_feeling_"…

_I think…that just maybe…I might be…_I sighed, letting reality cut through my heart and soul like a ragged, rusty knife…_In _love_ with him._

**Ch. 10: Lusty Nights and Hateful Eyes**

**This Ch. Also switches POV's a bit…**

**Nessie-POV**

The moment my feet landed on the hardwood in Leah's room, I knew what I was about to do. I grabbed the heavy shoebox from under my bed and headed to the barn.

I found the necessary equipment needed to build a fire and lit up a barrel filled with enough hay to get it going. One by one I dumped a grimy, disgusting letter into the blaze.

_"Little Ren"_ and _"My Girl," _were the names I saw being eaten into nothings of ash. I didn't care.

_You're my girl… _I could hear Nahuel's voice now. _Yeah, _I scoffed internally. _I may have been your girl, but I sure as hell wasn't your _only _girl._

I felt like an idiot as the tears poured freely from my eyes. I wiped them away seeing that the smoke was burning and stinging them as well.

I sat at my spot on top of the work table as I watched the fiery whips lick the fading sky.

The colors matched so well together. The fire and the sunset. Now, every time that I'd sit and watch a sunset, it would never be the same. It would be associated with this day.

I was so _stupid _to let Nahuel hassle me like that. _He never wanted you, you know that. You expected that. But you stayed anyway. Stupid, stupid, crazy GIRL!_

"Are you _crazy_?" I heard a distant voice shout at me. By this point, my head was in my hands and I was too oblivious to the outside world to look up. "Renesmee! You can't start a fire in a _barn!"_

It was Jacob. _Jacob_ was yelling at me. _He _was yelling at _me. I _should be the one yelling at _him._ After everything that he's done to me.

_He's done nothing! _My conscience screamed.

_He made me love him! _I shouted back. 

_Not _his _fault you're a hormonal teenager!_

I heard a hose spray out the flames and felt a few drops of water sprinkle across my toes.

I didn't look up. I was too ashamed with myself.

"Renesmee?" He questioned me. I could hear him walking closer to me. He placed a warm hand on my thigh, but I pulled away. "W-what's wrong? What happened?" He asked me.

I shook my head. "N-nothing. I-I'm f-fine. Leav-ve me a-alone." I gasped out hiding my face.

"No, tell me." He grabbed the hand hiding me from him and kissed the palm. "What happened, honey? Why are you crying?"

I sucked it up and breathed out my reply quickly. "You were right, Jacob, he is a dick. He was cheating on me. The whole I've been gone—and for God only knows how much longer before that."

"Then, why are you crying?" He asked stupidly.

"I just _told _you _why!" _I shouted through the tears. "My boyfriend is cheat—"

"You shouldn't waste your tears on jackasses." He said it so…softly. It made my heart ache for no reason at all.

I was speechless as I stared at him. My mind was blank. I almost lost control of where I was as I lept from the bench into his arms. I nearly knocked him onto the floor.

I curled my legs around his waist tightly, never wanting him to let me go. I fisted my hands into his hair and kissed him rougher than I ever had before. I didn't hold anything back.

He kissed me back with his strong, warm arms wrapped around me and drawing me closer into him.

I pulled my arms down to his torso, careful not to risk the loss of his soft lips on my own. I carefully undid the notch on his belt and practically _ripped_ the loops to get rid of it. I threw it to the ground and yanked his shirt out of the top of his jeans. I began ripping at the buttons until there was nothing but torn thread dangling from it.

I was pulling Jacob's wife beater halfway up his delicious abs when he caught my hands.

"Renesmee, stop." He said panting while pulling away. "I'm not doing this to you."

"You're not doing it _to _me, Jacob." I told him pulling his face closer to mine. "You're doing it _with _me." I whispered against his lips. He began slipping away from me. I had to stop him. I _needed _him.

I pulled my tank top over my head, exposing him my new red, lacy, balconette bra from Victoria's Secret. I smiled seductively and leaned in to kiss his neck.

"N-no." He said distractedly as I sucked at the soft skin below his ear. "I can't Nessie…" He moaned.

I pulled away when I heard his words.

_Nessie…_

He had just called me _Nessie…_

_Shut up, Nessie. Or you're going to get us both killed._

I nearly fainted as I stared into his eyes in a daze.

It was Jacob. The stranger in my dream. From my dream, from all those years…It had been Jacob. My savior, my hero…My Jacob.

The words slipped out and I didn't even want to take them back. "I love you, Jake."

He sucked in a shaky breath and kissed me softly on the lips. "I love you, too, Nessie."

And he gave in, right there in the barn.

He left for a brief moment to find a horse blanket for us to lie down on.

_To be quite honest,_ I thought. _I could do it standing up…or against the bench…or lying on the hay. Any where's good for me._

When he stretched out the blanket on the hay covered floor, he glanced up at me with a smirk. He took a brief overview of my body and pulled his wife beater completely over his head. My eyes traveled to the tattoo right above his hip.

I remembered the first time I had saw it—the first day we had met. I couldn't recognize the picture then, but I could now. It was of a shamrock outlined in black and filled in with a bronzer color than his skin. Above it was the word "Rusty" and below was "Luck". I made a mental note to ask him what that was about; right now I was busy.

I slid my low-rise jeans down and threw them across the room, my gaze never leaving his.

It reminded me of the scene from _The Notebook. _The one where they're getting ready to do each other and they're slowly peeling back their clothes.

I smirked back at him and walked over, swinging my hips. He swallowed hard as he stared at my lace G-string. He licked his lips and held out his arms.

I ignored them and pushed him down onto the floor. He stared at me in awe, "Controlling. I like it."

"Shhh…" I placed a finger over his lips. "No talking. I'm running this show."

He chuckled and lay back with his arms crossed behind his head. I got down on the ground and moved to straddle him. He moved to touch my hips with his rough hands. I leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. I trailed my lips down his jaw…his ear…his throat…his chest.

I kissed him until I was down to the straining button and zipper on his jeans. I looked up at him through my lashes and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped them. He lifted himself up so that I could pull them down his long legs.

I giggled softly when I saw his erection nearly bulging out through his gray boxer-briefs. I glanced up at his face. He was biting roughly onto his bottom lip. I smirked at him and he tried to fight back a moan.

He lost.

I hovered my hands over the elastic band and then lowered them to touch his hips. I slipped my hands underneath and touched him.

His hips jerked gently as a reaction. He moaned again. "Nessie…"

I loved hearing the way my name rolled off of his tongue.

I finally pulled his underwear down all the way, exposing him fully. I could feel my eyes widen at his length. If I could guesstimate for a moment…I'd go with about eight inches…and three-quarters.

I gasped softly, "Oh, my god." Then moaned. "You're so _big_, Jake." I smirked up at him again and with my eyes never leaving his, my mouth hovered over his cock. I blew a hot breath on it and he groaned louder. I kissed his tip, softly.

"_Fuck, _Ness…"

I chuckled and then took him into my mouth. I couldn't fit him but only a little over half—and _that _was deep throating. With what I couldn't fit, I just used my hands. My fingers couldn't all the way reach around—but I was successful.

_God, Jacob was a lucky man._

I relaxed my throat and sucked gently, with my hands stroking him from his base and up his shaft. I bobbed my head up and down sucking and, occasionally, scraped my teeth along his shaft gently.

"Aw, _fuck. _Ness." He groaned smashing his eyes shut and then opening them once more. He panted and tried to suppress his moans as I swirled my tongue around his tip roughly. I began to hum and moan around his thick cock when he came.

_"Holy shit!" _He ground his teeth together and panted more.

I sucked him dry and licked my lips as I pulled away.

"How'd you like that…" I asked seductively. "…honey?"

He smiled tiredly at me. "Oh, fuck…"

"Why don't we…" I began as I walked my fingers up his body. "…take this back to your place…?" I whispered to him.

I had never seen someone jump up that fast in my life. I couldn't help but laugh as he caught me by the arm and pulled to his truck. His pants were still at his ankles as he pushed me into the passenger seat. He lingered his lips on mine for a few seconds and then shut the door.

When he got to the drivers' seat his pants were up, but not buttoned or zipped. "Our clothes…" I said pointing back at the barn. "Charlie will see."

"Naw, he hardly comes out here." Jake said pulling me closer into his arms.

"Unlike you…" I giggled. _Oh, the innuendo…_

"I've never seen that side of you before…" He started the truck and exhaled strongly.

"You like it?" I bit my lip and touched his thigh with my hand. I moved my hand up and down slowly. He squirmed under my touch. I scooted closer and placed my lips on his neck.

"Oh, Nessie…" His Adam's apple moved under my lips.

"I love it when you call me that." I ran my fingers down his chest. "How much longer before we get there? I _need_ you…" I flipped my hair over my shoulder and kissed down his arm.

He groaned. "I need _you_, Ness."

I looked down; he was already hard again. I chuckled and smiled at him.

"What…?" He asked roughly.

"I was just thinking of how you taste…"

"Am I good…?" He asked awkwardly.

I bit my lip and suppressed a moan myself. "_So… _good. Better than anything in the world. Mhmm…" I moaned aloud.

"Oh, shit." He squirmed uncomfortably. "Don't do that yet, Ness." He panted out. "Give me a minute."

"You won't want me in a minute…" I whined.

"Oh, believe me…" He glanced down at my attire. "I'll want you."

"Suit yourself." I purred into his ear.

A minute or two rolled by when Jacob pulled his truck to a stop. "We're here." He looked deranged.

I laughed when I realized where we were.

"What?" He asked opening his door. "Why are you laughing?"

"Calm down…" I smiled and moved to straddle him. I glanced up at him through my lashes. "I just remembered that the last time we were in this driveway…I didn't know who you were." He touched my cheek. "That seems like a lifetime ago now." I cleared my throat. "Now, are you going to take me to your room? Or do I have to play Get Naked all by myself?"

He kissed my lips softly and pulled himself out of the truck with me attached to his waist. I jumped onto the ground and pulled him to the door. He got his keys out of his back pocket and shakily unlocked the door.

Before he fully opened the door all the way, I pushed him against the wall and pulled myself up to his face. I sucked roughly on his bottom lip and moaned into his mouth. I pulled away just before he locked his firm hands around my waist and stared into my eyes.

The house was dark and it was almost scary with the night sky stretching through the windows, but I knew that I was safe in Jake's arms.

"Where's your room?" I asked him almost breathlessly.

He chuckled darkly and pulled me through the shadowy house. I heard a door creak open and then could see the moonlight outline his bed. His sheets were dark and the bed was queen sized; it took up almost half of the room.

I sighed and turned in his arms to face him. He kicked the door closed behind him and reached for the light switch.

"No…" I said stopping his hand. "I like it better in the dark. It's a little more mysterious." I lowered my hands to his jeans and dropping my knees, I pulled them and his boxer-briefs to the ground. "Aren't you up for a little mystery?" I whispered, cocking my head to him.

He stepped out of his pants and kicked them across the room. His hands sank to the sides of my thong, and with a quick flip of the wrist, the small stretch of fabric had been snapped. It dropped to the ground.

I smiled at him with my eyes, pulled him to the center of his bed and threw him down like I had in the barn. He chuckled once more.

"I love you." I said as I lay on top of him. My knees pushed out on both sides of him.

He leaned up and unclasped my bra.

And then there I was. Finally. Naked. In front of Jacob, and it didn't even bother me.

He reversed our position so that he was on top now. "I love you, too."

He palmed my breast and rubbed his thumb over my nipple causing me to moan. "Jake…"

He kissed me softly. "My turn to run the show." He whispered and then trailed his long, slender fingers down my body.

When he reached my entrance, he slipped a finger in and rubbed it against my clit. Agonizing at first, slow and almost torturous, then he began to pick up the pace. I writhed against his sheets in pleasure, moaning out his name. I reached down and grabbed onto his cock and stroked him at the same speed he was going with me. I was almost about to come when he stopped completely.

"No!" I nearly screamed out. "Keep…going."

"Hold on." He reached over to his nightstand and opened the drawer. "Shit…" He said under his breath. "I'm out of Magnums."

"That was…a big…box." I said trying to catch my breath. "She gave you a hundred and fifty—"

"We used them all." He said back.

"Just forget about the condoms." I said. "I'll be perfectly fine without them."

"You're on the pill?" He asked me.

"Yes. Just fuck me. _Now." _ I growled.

And he did.

He didn't even give me a moment to adjust myself. Compared to Nahuel's six inches, Jake would _definitely _take some adjusting.

He pushed jaggedly into me causing me to scream out,_"HolyMotherFuckingShitJacob!" _

I couldn't tell if it were in pain or not. I was too lost in my own lust to think clearly.

He stopped for a moment and stared at me waiting to go on.

"Go; I'm fine." I sucked in a deep breath.

He pumped into me gently like I was going to break if he went any rougher.

_"Harder, Jacob!" _I ordered.

I felt my nails dig into his back and claw at his skin as he thrust into me faster and faster.

"Dammit, Nessie!" He panted out. "You're so…_tight_."

Jacob's face was one of determination. Sweat was beading down from his forehead and down onto my own. He lowered himself closer onto my body and rubbed his glistening chest on my mine. I arched my back as his tongue glided down my neck.

_"Jacob…" _I panted out. "I'm about…t-to…come." I took in a deep breath and he pushed into me rougher, harder, more feral than before so that he could come with me.

We both came with screams of pleasure and ecstasy. It would take me a while to get down from this high. I almost forgot how to breathe correctly. I bit onto his chest hard—enough to taste blood. I bit his neck. His shoulder. His bicep…

_"MotherFUCKER!" _I screamed out when Jacob's warm seed released into me.

"_Nessie! Holy _SHIT!_" _He yelled out, as well.

Then, he collapsed on top of me. He waited a moment and then pulled himself fully out of me. He rolled out of the way and onto his back.

It was quiet other than our gasping which slowly melted into soft, rhythmic, even breaths.

My eyelids were drooping. I rolled over and lay my head on Jake's chest. His hand began to create a smooth, circular pattern on my back. I kissed his sweaty chest and began to fade away.

"I love you, Ness." He said tiredly.

"Love…you…Jake."

I was about to float my mind up to the night sky, but Jake caught my attention before I was completely out like a light.

"Ness…" He whispered.

"Yeah, Jake?" I asked yawning.

"Does _this_ make me your bitch?"

I couldn't but laugh a tired, breathy laugh. "Do you think that you can take on the responsibility of being my bitch?"

He kissed my forehead and then my cheek and then ever-so-slightly on my lips. "I think I can handle it, ma'am…"

He sounded like _such _a sexy, little cowboy. I couldn't help but smile. "You got the job, kid."

I kissed him on the lips gently and that night…I slept better than I ever had in my entire life.

_/CHASINGPERFECTION/_

The morning after, Nessie woke up first. Like always, she was up at the crack of dawn.

She yawned and when her eyes were almost fully adjusted, the clock on the wall read: _7:31. _

She rubbed her eyes and stared up at the ceiling. She forgot where she was and then the memories came flooding in.

_Did I really…? _She smiled softly to herself. _…with Jake? _

Yes, she had. She bit her lip and looked to her right.

And there he was. Jake.

Comforter-clad right above the beginning curve of his ass, he was laying on his stomach sleeping peacefully.

She smiled and rolled closer to him. She reached over and pushed his shaggy hair out of his face. His lips twitched like he was going to wake, but he remained snoring loudly.

Nessie couldn't help but admire his masculine beauty. She loved the way his nose curved right at the tip, like an outlandish character from Dr. Seuss's _Who-ville…_strangely, it worked on him. She loved how his eyebrows were perfectly shaped—he didn't have that beginning of a uni-brow that she hated on Nahuel.

She sighed and kissed him on his slightly parted lips. "I love you…" She whispered too low for him to hear.

She yawned, rolled back over and got out of his bed. She stretched and nearly collapsed to the floor.

She groaned. She was sore. _So _sore. Sore is places _Nahuel _could never reach, _that _was for sure.

She tiptoed through his room and was about to put her clothes on until she realized that they had left most all of their clothes in the barn in their drive to get some. She sighed and went to Jacob's dresser. She opened the first drawer. She found issues of _Playboy _and _Penthouse _magazines and miscellaneous DVDs of porn and _Strap-on Lesbian Sex, The Hills Have Thighs_, and various _Girls Gone Wild _discs. Along with those were about five pairs of furry handcuffs in blue, green, purple, orange, and…rainbow colored…?

Nessie laughed and then remembered Jake was asleep. _Kinky…_She giggled softly to herself. _Good to know…_She thought.

She opened the second drawer hoping that one would be better.

It was.

She grabbed a pair of his sweatpants and slid them on. They were huge and she tightened the drawstrings as tight as they would go, but even then they were too big. She rolled them up almost seven times. In the next drawer she found a red t-shirt and when she put it on, she tied it up in the back with a hair-tie that was on her wrist.

She didn't have a need to look in his fourth—and final—drawer, but her curiosity was flared up ever since drawer number one. She looked over at Jacob who still had his sleeping baby face on. She opened the drawer.

Inside she was expecting something like a whip or more porn or handcuffs or something…_kinky. _

But instead, what she saw was a few faded scrapbooks and pictures in a basket to create organization within the drawer. She kneeled down and picked up a stack of the pictures.

They were of a woman whom Nessie remembered from the first night she met Jake. It was a picture of the woman from his mantle. It was…his _mom._

The corners of the picture were fading but she could see Jacob—twelve or thirteen—standing beside her kissing her on the cheek.

She was a pretty woman though she was older than Nessie's first view of her. Her hair was long and black, similar to Jake's. She had brown eyes and—like she had told him—a smile that was too die for. She was small and petite; Jacob towered over her.

She put down the pictures and in the corner of the drawer she could see a piece of a newspaper article hanging out of the scrapbook. She carefully pulled it out and began reading to herself:

_Monday, January 15th, 2001_

_Sarah O'Hara Black, 43, was killed in a hit-and-run accident on the night of January 13th. The police have not found the criminal that fled the scene on Saturday but they believe that he has now fled the state. The suspect's name is Vladimir Gustavo. He is already wanted by sixteen states in the U.S. and Mexico. He has been charged with armed-robbery, assault and battery, three accounts of murder in the first degree and now four. _

_Sarah died in the arms of her sixteen year old son, Jacob Black, at MCG Medical Hospital the night of her accident. You may remember Black from his arrest in 1994. _

"Arrest!" Nessie nearly screamed. Her eyes bugged out of her head. _No…that can't be right…_She thought. _For that to be true Jacob would have had to have been…nine. That can't be right. They must have the wrong Jacob…_

_Police Chief, Charles B. Swan, was on scene with the Sherriff after Black's death. _The article continued.

_"Sarah and I were very close." Says Chief Swan, fighting back his tears. "Being _missed _is understatement. She was very supportive of the community, helped out at the nursing homes; she was a fantastic wife and mother to her three children. I will not stand for [Gustavo's] injustice. I _will_ find him and he _will _be taken care of!"_

_We couldn't get a word in with the family, but we hear that they also want Gustavo brought in for what he did. Don't we all?_

Nessie gasped quietly and looked over to Jacob lying in his bed.

_His mom was murdered._ She thought. _I had never actually wondered about her…Jacob must've been devastated to have his mother die in his arms. _

What would she do?

She couldn't even _imagine_ what her life would be like to lose someone so close to her in her own arms…

_/CHASINGPERFECTION/_

_BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ—_

Jake's hand reached out and smacked down hard onto his alarm clock to shut it up. He groaned and rolled over onto his back. He ran his hands down his face and stretched out his legs. He reached over in the bed and tried to pull her into his arms. He opened one eye groggily and nearly had a heart attack.

The sheets were bare. She wasn't there.

There was _no _way in _Hell _he had just imagined all of that from last night. He hadn't _just imagined_ her giving him the best blowjob of his life. He hadn't _just imagined _her perfect, naked body swinging her hips and crawling all over him. He _had not _just imagined all of that.

He sat upright in the bed and looked around the room, suddenly worried that she had left. He was about to flip the fuck out when he smelled the delicious scent of pancakes and bacon wafting through the air. Then he heard her beautiful laughter in the kitchen.

He got up out of bed with his feet dragging across the floor; he didn't want to move too fast just in case it _was _a dream. He went to his dresser and grabbed a pair of his sweatpants. His favorite pair was gone. He looked down…his fourth drawer was cracked. He hadn't been in that drawer in over a decade. He completely forgot about it when he stepped on something.

Her sexy bra and her…well, what was left of her thong.

He smirked and tried not to get too caught up in what had happened last night. He pulled on his sweats and headed toward the kitchen.

When he stepped into the room, Billy was sitting at the table with a stack of pancakes and bacon in front of him. He looked up from the newspaper and smiled.

"Morning, Jake. We were wonderin' when you'd get up." He said wiping his mouth with his napkin.

Then, he saw Nessie…and he almost got a boner.

She was in _his_ clothes, in _his _house, making _his _breakfast.

_So, that's where my sweatpants went…_He thought.

"Mornin', honey…" She smiled at him. "I made breakfast." She flipped another pancake onto the platter.

"And she's real good at it, too." Billy nodded at her. "But from what I heard last night, she's real good at a _lot_ of things." Nessie blushed and hid behind her hair. "Speaking of," He continued. "Put some clothes on; you look like you were mauled by a bear." Billy gestured at Jacob's neck and torso.

Jacob looked down at himself. He was covered in bite marks and hickeys all over and from where Nessie's nails scratched at him when she orgasmed. He couldn't help but think about it and then his morning wood began to set in. He moved quickly to Nessie's side.

"You look great in this…" He whispered wrapping his arms around her waist. He licked his lips. "Better out of it…" He kissed her neck.

"Funny…" She whispered back. "I could say the same to you…"

"Alright." Billy said putting his plate in his lap. "I'm going into the living room. Try not to burn the house down due to your sexual desires—"

"Dad!" Jake laughed. "C'mon now. Gimme a break."

"Sure, sure." He said before wheeling himself out of the room.

When he was gone, Nessie laughed and molded herself into Jacob's body.

"Last night was fun…" She smiled. "We'll have to do that again sometime."

"I'm free now." Jake offered with a smile.

"I bet you are." She laughed. "But your dad's here."

"He was here last night."

"Yeah, and he told me that the walls were paper thin and that I talked like a _dirty_-_mermaid_." She giggled. "I don't even know what that means…"

Jacob stifled a chuckle. "Well, at least he's honest."

Nessie let out a noise of joking disbelief and then traced the impression on his chest left by her teeth marks. "Sorry about that." She said. "Sometimes I get a little…extravagant…"

"I like it when you get extravagant." He smiled and kissed her softly on her parted lips.

"Was I better or worse than how you imagined me?" She asked when they pulled apart.

He smirked. "You act like you already _know _that I fantasize about you."

"Oh, but don't you?" She asked biting her lip. "I fantasize about _you_. The least you can do is fantasize about me."

"You fantasize about me?" He asked feeling proud.

"Hell yeah." She whispered. "And you lived up to my imaginary horny you last night…What about me?"

"Definitely. I fantasize about you all the time…especially when I masturbate."

She threw her head back in laughter. "Good to know. But now…" She placed her hand in his right and held them up in the air. "You won't need this." She kissed his hand. "You have me."

"No, _that's _good to know." Jacob tangled their fingers and bent down to kiss her on the lips.

She ran her hands down his back gently and pulled her lips away to kiss his neck where he was bruised from her…extravagance.

"Those are really going to be hard to hide." She noted aloud.

"I'll wear a scarf…" He said kissing her cheek.

"In the middle of summer?" She smiled up at him. "Because _that's _not obvious at all."

Jacob smiled and kissed her again, causing her to giggle.

"What?" He asked smiling at her.

He ran a hand over his chin. "Your stubble tickles me, Black. I think that that's…" She bit her lip. "…_sexy_."

"Oh, you do?" He rubbed face against the side of her causing her laugh.

"Hey, Jake…?" She said looking at the floor. "How come you never told me you lived with your dad?"

He tensed up. "Why? Is it a…problem?" He asked her.

"No!" She jumped. "No, not at all."

"Because I can't leave him by himself for too long." He said running a hand through his hair nervously. "Charlie and Sue come over when I'm gone, but—"

"Jake…" Nessie put a finger over his lips to stop his rambling. "I don't…care." She shook her head. "Not what I meant. I mean that I…_understand_. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's fine." He said pulling her closer. She laid her head on against his chest. "Leah always thought of me as a wimp because I would never move out…I guess the full story didn't ever click with her."

"What's the story…?" Ness asked sheepishly.

Jake sighed. "My dad started having strokes when I younger. My mom died when I was sixteen," He took a deep breath. "…so I dropped out of school, got my GED and have been the one taking care of him ever since. He's been good for a few months…but they're getting worse with his age."

"I'm so sorry." She said giving his chest a peck with her lips.

He was silent for a moment. He looked up at the clock.

"I need to get ready for work." He was trying to shake away the conversation. "I just remembered that Jared couldn't come in and I have to be there early. I need to take a shower."

"Want a buddy?" She asked him seductively trying to keep his mind off things. "They say you should never swim without a buddy…maybe the same rules apply to bathing…"

He smirked at her. "Believe me, they do."

She giggled and he pulled her to the bathroom that was connected to the inside of his bedroom.

They didn't do much in the shower other than lather up each other's bodies with soap and suds. They kissed heavily and shampooed, too. But nothing excessive; Nessie was still recovering from "Jackhammer Jacob". (Which is exactly how she would later describe him too Victoria and Bree when things were patched up with them.)

"Um, Jake," Nessie said. "We have a slight problem…"

"What's that?" A towel-clad Jacob stood at his dresser and asked her running his hands through his wet hair.

"I don't have any clothes. We left them in the barn." She reminded him.

"And the problem would be…?" She rolled her eyes, playfully. "Kidding." He said. "I'll go get you a pair of Rachel's jeans and a tank top or something." He said, starting towards the bedroom door.

"Who's Rachel?" Nessie asked folding her arms over her towel.

Jake laughed. "My little sister. Who'd you think she was?"

"Doesn't matter." Nessie waved him away trying to hide her embarrassment.

_/CHASINGPERFECTION/_

"I thought that you were going to work." I asked as we pulled down the opposite road. I could see BDA in the distance. It wasn't that far from where we were and now Jake was going the other way.

"It's a shortcut." He said absentmindedly. I looked at him in confusion. "Just play along."

So, I did. And look where "playing along" got me.

A faded cemetery in the middle of nowhere.

"Shortcut?" I asked as the truck pulled to a stop.

"Okay, I lied." He admitted pulling the keys from the ignition.

"Really?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.

He hesitated and then admitted. "I want you to meet my mom." He got out and walked around the front of the truck.

I stared at him as he opened my door. "No, Jake. I'll start crying. Literally, I'll blubber like a baby—"

"So will I…" He whispered to me with his "innocent face". He held out a hand. "Please? I come see her grave every Thursday…and guess what today is?" He let out a small smile. "Please…?"

I sighed and nodded. I took his hand and he started pulling me down a cobblestone path.

This didn't feel right—like I was crossing a line. A line that only bonded love between Jacob and his deceased mom. This wasn't my place to be.

_Jacob loves you. _An eerie voice whispered in my ear. _You love Jacob. But you will never come between him and his mother even if you tried._

But I wouldn't try. Never would I _ever_ want to demolish that love-line.

"I love you." I told him almost automatically.

He looked down and smiled at me tenderly. "I love you, too, Ness."

After a few moments we were standing in almost the very back of the cemetery in front of a dark granite tombstone. There it was. His mother's grave.

I had always loved visiting cemeteries with my Uncle Jasper. He was a history teacher at a large high school in Texas. He would hold my little eight year old hand and spout out old Civil War facts. He always had a way of letting the words flow out of his mouth with such ease. He was the favorite of _many _of the students…_and _most of the female faculty.

Point is, I had always enjoyed cemeteries, but now… As I look at Jacob's sad face—watery eyes, pouty lips—I wanted to die.

I would do anything for that sad face of his to disappear. He was hurting and I couldn't do anything but squeeze his hand for reassurance.

He laughed once without humor and wiped the back of his hand under his left eye. "I'm sorry," He said with a sniff. "I don't usually cry like this—like a pussy…" He sat down on his knees.

"Jacob." I said a little upset that he would say that. I knelt beside him and pulled his face to look me in the eyes. "You are not acting like that." I told him with every ounce of my honesty that I had. "I don't have any problems seeing you like this. Why would you even think that?"

"Sorry." He swallowed hard. "It's just that Leah—"

"Isn't me." I told him pushing his hair from his eyes. "You've got to realize that Jacob—"

"I do." He said biting his bottom lip. "I'm just not…used to it."

"Used to what, Jake?"

"The love. I haven't gotten that from a woman in a _long _time." He admitted. "Ever since…" He hesitated and didn't really go on.

"Ever since, what?" I asked him with my hand on his cheek. "You can tell me, Jake. It won't change anything between us—"

"But it will." His voice cracked and it would have been cute under any other circumstance, but not now. "It will change everything."

"What is it, Jacob?" I nearly whined. He was so pitiful now and he didn't think that I was going to support him. "You can tell me." I repeated.

He sighed, long and rough. "Okay." He finally said. "But first, you need to know that everyone makes mistakes." He waited for my reaction and I only nodded. "Some mistakes…can never, _ever _be taken back…and I was a part of one of those mistakes…"

My mind immediately flashed back to the article from the paper:

_Sarah died in the arms of her sixteen year old son, Jacob Black, at MCG Medical Hospital the night of her accident. You may remember Black from his arrest in 1994. _

_Arrest_.

That had been the one word that had caught my eye. Could this be what he meant…?

"I need to…" He hesitated and then his eyes flickered down to his watch. "I need to take you back to Charlie's."

He stood up and started back down the cobblestones. I sat and stared at the spot he had been kneeling at.

His cowboy boots had molded clear indentions in the thick, green grass…

_/CHASINGPERFECTION/ _

"I'll see you later?" I asked him as I unbuckled my seatbelt.

He nodded and gave a faint smile. "Yeah. I'll come by later. To pick up my clothes from the barn." He chuckled once and was almost himself again. "Any excuse to see you, really."

I smiled. "I love you." I said before opening the door.

"Come here." He held out his arms to me.

I slid over and he wrapped himself around me. "I love you, Ness. Please." He breathed into my hair. "Please don't forget that."

I pulled back and pressed my lips softly to his before officially getting out of his truck. I shut the door and smiled, "I won't forget." I shook my head. "I'll _never _forget."

He smiled and tipped his hat at me before heading out on the road.

I waited until he was out of my sight before I began up the stairs. I sighed and pushed open the heavy, wooden door; it felt like it weighed a million pounds.

I started toward the stairs and averted direction when I heard feet scuffling in the kitchen. I walked into it only to see my Grandfather with a red face full of fury. At first I thought the anger was a result of Leah's doings and then he jumped up and wagged an angry pointer finger in my face.

"Where the hell have you been all night?" He shouted.

I jumped back a step. "I'm sorry—I should've called." I immediately said.

"Damn straight you should have called!"

"Charlie." Sue said from a seat behind him. "There is no need to be rash. Just ask the girl where she was and then decide on whether or not you are going to punish her."

I could barely breathe as I stared in shock at Grandpa. His face slowly returned back to a somewhat normal color. "You're right, Sue." He breathed out. "Sweetheart." He said looking back at me. "Where were you?"

Despite the situation, I couldn't help but smile when I said the sentence. "I was with Jacob—"

And my smile was gone as I took in the full view of the room.

In the far corner—away from Grandpa and Sue—was someone I would have _never _expected to see.

He stared at me with eyes like a snake and a smile that was so tight against his face that you could tell it was forced.

I sucked in a breath. "Nahuel."

His eyes narrowed and he licked his lips. "Hello, Little Ren."

***DUHN, DUHN, DUHN! Nahuel is BACK and Nessie and Jake just did the NASTY! (and announced their love for one another, I guess that's more important than the other thing)**

***By the way, I own the rights to the "Rusty Luck" tattoo thing, so NO STEAL-Y!**

***REVIEW!**


	11. Who Forgets?

***Hey there, nuggets! Thanks for checking this new chapter. I just want to thank all of you for your reviews and wanted to tell tazsgirl6969 that I LOVE that pen-name. It rocks. You should give me a review sometime...In fact EVERY reader should give me a review. **

***But, yeah, I hope you like the chapter...Lotta info (like always)...I can't wait for you guys to put all the pieces together and figure out the story. You find a little more about Jake and Bella's past relationship in this chapter and you get to deal with "Ass-huel" as some of you awesome guys are calling him...Because, EH, it's the truth; the guy's an ass. So enjoy!**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

In the far corner—away from Grandpa and Sue—was someone I would have _never _expected to see.

He stared at me with eyes like a snake and a smile that was so tight against his face that you could tell it was forced.

I sucked in a breath. "Nahuel."

His eyes narrowed and he licked his lips. "Hello, Little Ren."

**Ch. 11: Who Forgets?**

**Again, another switchy POV chappie**

I swayed from the position I was standing at and my body shook. "Wh-what are you doing…here?" I asked him shakily. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and tried not to puke all over the floor.

He smiled and answered my question as if it were obvious. "I came to see you."

"How-how'd you find me?" I asked holding my arms tight against my sides.

But before he could answer me, Sue stood and pulled my grandfather toward the exit of the room. "We'll give you two some privacy." She said. "Charlie. Come on." He started out of the kitchen with a glaring look at Nahuel.

"No." I told them and they stopped. "I mean, _we'll_ leave. Come with me, Nahuel." I looked at him.

"I'd love to." He smiled and said before walking out with me. "Nice seeing you." He said to Grandpa. He gave Sue a nod with a sweet smile.

I opened the front door and started down the stairs outside. I heard him shut the door behind us, and tried my best to come up with something to say…but I couldn't.

I could hear his breathing and he was getting closer to me, but he didn't speak either.

It was only when I had made him walk to the only I could feel safe, that I stopped.

I opened the doors to the barn for him to walk and closed them behind us.

"Speak." I ordered. "Now. Tell me what the _hell _you are doing here?"

"Is that anyway to talk to your boyfriend, Little Ren?" He asked approaching me with his arms extended out. Before I could step away, they had fully encircled me in a familiar embrace. It was almost like the kind of embrace he would hold me in when we first met…_almost_.

My arms were crushed against his chest and I used my hands to push away from him. "_Ex-_boyfriend. We're not together, Nahuel." I stepped back and stared into his black eyes. "In fact, _we_ haven't been _together _in a longtime. And that was made clear when I found out that you were fucking some _other_ chick on the side."

His eyes grew wide and he swallowed hard. "I do not know what you are talking about."

"Oh, please!" I laughed once. "You know _exactly _what I'm talking about! Your 'cousin'?" I made quotation marks in the air. "Tanya? Ring a bell, sweetheart—"

"Do not _sweetheart_ me!" He said in such a fierce voice that my knees wobbled. I stopped them and tried to stand as tall as I could. "Because, from what it looks like around here," He gestured to the floor. It was covered by the big horse blanket Jacob had lain out for us to lay on and not only my clothes, but _Jacob's_ clothes, as well. _Oh, shit…_

"Looks like I'm not the _only_ one with a secret." He growled. "Who's this _Jacob_ you were all googley-eyed over when you walked into your grandfather's this morning?"

I wanted to fall to the floor and bawl my eyes out at the ferocious look on Nahuel's face. Instead, I held my ground and told him, "Who Jacob _is_ is none of your damn business."

He stepped forward and grabbed my arm and locked it in a vice tight grip. I sucked in a breath of pain.

"Ow, Nahuel!" I said trying to pull away from him.

"Shut up and listen to me—make sure you listen to me good. Do you understand?" When I didn't answer he began to twist his grip.

"_Yes!" _ I screamed. "I understand! I'm listening!"

He didn't loosen his hold as he said, "You're _my _girlfriend. _Not _some random hick that you just met. Get it?" He growled.

"No, I don't get it." I balled my hand into a fist to try and ignore the pain. "Let. Go. Of. Me."

And he did. He used every ounce of strength that he had to let go of me. His "letting go" caused me to slam my back into the barn door and fall to the ground. My back hurt and my wrist and my head…

"_He_ has turned you against me." He said as he towered over me. He had made _he _sound like a disease that I had caught.

"No." I managed to speak. "I've been against you all along. Jacob just helped me see that. And so did this." I held up my wrist which was already turning a deep shade of pink and almost purple. "What happened to you Nahuel?" I shook my head and glared at him. "What happened to that guy I fell in love with?" I scoffed. "I can't even believe I fell in love with you back then. I was such an idiot. But you know what _you _are, Nahuel?" I asked still glaring at him. He bent down so that he was right next to me. He stared into my eyes. "You're a bully. You don't care who you knock down to get to the top—as long as you get there."

His nostrils flared and he swallowed rigidly. He reached out his left hand as if he was going to caress my right cheek, but then, without warning he pulled back and bitch-slapped me across the face.

I screamed out as loud as I could when I felt the contact between the soft, flesh of my cheek and the cold, metal of his Forks High class ring. I clutched my hand against my face and could immediately feel the wetness and _smell _the rusty scent of my blood.

Then, in a flash, Nahuel was gone.

I tried to stifle a sob and sat up with my hands pressed against my cheek. Through my blurry vision, I could see Nahuel sliding across the filthy barn floor with another strong figure standing over him, jerking him by the collar.

"Ja-Jacob?" I had meant for his name to come out in a strong voice, but instead it was nearly above a whisper.

"Who the _fuck_ do you think you _are_?" Jacob screamed at Nahuel. He picked Nahuel up by the arm and pinned him against a wall. Nahuel struggled against Jacob's hold, but I could see that he wasn't nearly as strong as Jacob. "Who fucking _raised _you?" He yelled and twisted Nahuel's neck towards my direction. "Look at her! _Look! _You did that you sick _bastard!" _

Nahuel glared at me without so much as an ounce of pity or regret in his beady, black eyes. He only spoke to Jacob. "Get off of me." He said calmly.

"Like _hell _I will!" And then Jacob reeled his fist back and slammed it against Nahuel's nose. It made the most terrifying, cracking noise causing Nahuel to screech out. And then Jacob did it again…and again…and again—until Nahuel's legs gave out and he collapsed to the ground. Jacob kicked Nahuel in the gut a few times and I even thought I saw Nahuel spit blood from his mouth. From there Jacob dropped down to his knees and pulled his fist back again, but before he lurched forward, I was able to shout out, "Jake! Stop hur-hurting h-him."

Jacob stopped and let out a deep breath. His hands were shaking, but he dropped them and stood up, never taking his eyes off of Nahuel's bloody face. "Ness, who is this guy?" He asked and then he looked at me—actually, _looked _at me. "Oh shit, Ness." He rushed over to me and kneeled down beside me.

I could see all the hate in his eyes as he took my chin in his fingers turning it and looked at my wound. His lips were mashed into a vile line and I could almost hear the profanities he wanted to scream, but he only said: "I'm going to take care of you. I'm going to take care of _this_." Obviously, he wasn't talking about my face.

"You are not _going_ to take care of her." Nahuel _told _Jacob as he pulled himself—shakily—to his feet.

"I'm not _going _to take care of her?"Jacob raised his eyebrows and jumped from the ground. He started walking towards the workbench. I didn't see what he picked up until he started swinging it in Nahuel's direction.

Nahuel took a step back to guard his face from the crowbar. "Yes, you are not going to take care of her because she is coming back to Washington with me."

This is where I found my voice: "Like hell I am, Nahuel!"

"Oh, sweetheart…" He looked at me for a moment and smiled like nothing had happened, even though blood was dripping down his face and onto his white Ralph Lauren Polo shirt. "You are hurt. You are not thinking clearly—"

"Who the fuck's fault is that?" Jacob asked in a roaring voice. "Now you listen to me, you demonic bastard." Jacob started after Nahuel with the crowbar. They were slowly moving toward the barn doors. "Get off this property, because I'm about to give you a choice…" Jacob reached in his back pocket and pulled out his cellphone, threw the crowbar down and reached in his other pocket…that was when he pulled out a pistol. "In five seconds I'm going to either call the cops or…" He pointed the gun at Nahuel, who was slowly stepping backwards. Jacob cocked the gun back with his thumb. "Or I'm going to shoot you to the mother_fucking_ ground—"

"Jacob!" I could feel my eyes bulging out of my head. I couldn't stop staring at Jacob's finger on the trigger. "Do not hurt him—"

"Do not worry, Little Ren…" Nahuel said in a worried tone. "I do not suspect it to be loaded—"

"Nahuel." I said in a warning tone despite my being in so much pain. "Do not risk it."

"She's right." Jacob smiled a twisted smile. "Don't risk it, Nahuel." Jacob shrugged. "Ah, what the hell; risk it. It'll be fun."

"Leave Nahuel." I told him. "I don't want him to hurt you. Go." He didn't move. "GO!" I shouted at him and winced at the pain.

"Fine." He said in his thickly-accented voice. He stared at Jacob. "But just remember this." He flipped his eyes over to me. "The games have just begun." He backed out of the barn and didn't turn back.

Jacob stared at the spot he had just left from. "What the fuck is his problem?" He asked in a voice filled with hatred.

"He's Nahuel." I said trying to stand up. I watched Jacob shove his pistol his back pocket. "That wasn't…_loaded, _right?" I asked him quietly.

"Hell yeah it's loaded." He said stepping towards me. He examined my face in his large hands. "We need to clean this up."

I swallowed uncomfortably and nodded.

"Here." He handed me his wife-beater shirt from where he had left it yesterday. I pressed it against my face. "Come on." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and started pulling me towards his truck.

* * *

"Take this." Jacob said, handing me two pills and a cup of water. "They'll make the pain go away." He stared at me and then sat on the empty space of his couch next to me. "How does it feel right now?" He asked moving the dishtowel from it (We replaced his shirt with it). He made a funny face of disgust and then smiled.

"It feels like shit." I admitted and then swallowed the pills and finishing the tall glass of water in no time. "Does it look like it need stitches?"

"I don't think so." He said moving my chin to examine it better. "He slapped you…but he broke skin. How—"

"His class ring. He never takes it off. Ever. Even when we were—" I stopped at Jake's raised eyebrows. "Nevermind."

"We gotta tell Charlie." He said taking the glass from me.

"No!" I said quickly. "You can't! Please don't." I begged.

He stared at me more. "You got to do _something, _Ness."

"I will." I nodded—mostly to myself. "The story is…I fell."

"On your face? Honey, he'll never buy that. You need to tell him the truth—"

"Then why don't I just tell him that _you _did this to me?" I pointed at my face.

He rolled his eyes. "You know I wouldn't do that to you."

"You better not do it to _anyone._" I said and then asked in a soft voice. "Would you have done it, Jacob?"

"Slap you? Ness, you know that I wouldn't have—"

"No." I shook my head. "Not this. I'm talking about you and…Nahuel and…"

"And, what?"

"Would you have shot him, Jake?" I asked quietly. "If I hadn't been able to tell you to stop…would you have shot him?"

He pursed his lips. "I don't know."

"You don't know if you would have killed him?"

He swallowed. "I…I would've shot him because…" He sucked in a breath and looked away from me. "Because there was something in his eyes. Something that was…not right. Really possessive and dominating." He shook his head and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "He's the one that raped you. Am I right?"

Something inside of me felt like it was falling. Like a vase that was going to crash to the floor and shatter into a million-zillion pieces. But there was that one thing that I held on to. Hope.

"Y-yes…it was him. He did it to me." I admitted shakily. My eyes slowly filled with tears.

"I knew it." Jacob shook his head. He was glaring at the coffee table. "I saw how rigid he made you. I would have killed him. I _wanted _to kill him for doing that to you. If you would ask me, then I'd find him right now."

"I won't."

His head snapped up at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm not going to ask you to kill him. Yeah, he's made some…poor decisions, but—"

"Poor decisions?" Jacob scoffed. "The guy _raped_ you, Nessie—and hurt you again tonight—"

"But I forgive him." I told him patting him on the knee. Silent tears slid down my face.

"Forgive? What the hell, Ness?"

"What? Forgiveness is wrong? I see absolutely no fault in my forgiving him for his actions. I'm not going to go out and seek revenge against him. Come on, Jake. Deep down he loves me—"

"Are you fucking with me right now?" He jumped up. "You can't honestly believe that that bastard loves you—after all he's put you through? Listen, Ness." He took back his seat and held my hand in both of his. "If someone loved you, then they would respect you…like I do."

I looked away from him. I needed time to collect myself and I couldn't do that with Jacob there. "I need ice." I said. "Will you get me ice? It'll help me."

In the corner of my eye, I saw him nod. "Okay." He kissed my forehead and headed toward the kitchen.

When he was out of view and I could hear him rifling through the ice box, I left quietly out the back door.

* * *

"Go, go, go, go—GO!" Charlie and Billy were shouting in unison at Billy's plasma screen television.

The game was on. Louisiana Saints versus the Pittsburgh Steelers, a game that Jacob would usually kill to watch. But tonight he just wasn't into it.

He was sitting on the opposite end of the sofa with his fist holding up his head. He couldn't stop thinking about Nessie—about what that _low-life _had done to her.

Jacob wanted to kill Nahuel for everything—raping Nessie, yelling at her, slapping her into a bloody mess.

He was so lost at her decision to forgive him after all he put her through. He didn't understand why she kept going back to him after _all of that!_

He remembered what Nessie's friend Victoria had said to him:

_"I hate to say it, but she's stupid for going back to him."_

He hated to admit that too…but he could see that she wasn't smart enough to stay away.

_"He's holding something over her. That's the only reason. It's not the first time he's done it, either. One day, he's going to push it too far and either he or she will…just snap."_

_Holding something over her…_Jacob thought.

The rape, maybe? He should be behind bars—

_That's it!_ He nodded to himself. _He won't let her tell anyone about it? That _could_ be it…_

Nessie's secrets were spilling out all over the place and Jacob didn't mind helping her clean up. He was only worried that, now, he would have to tell her about all of _his _secrets…and he knew _exactly _where he'd have to start.

Bella.

But he couldn't will himself to even find it inside of him to tell Ness everything that had happened when he but a mere nine years old. He was a kid—that would help ease things better along the way. He was _going_ to tell her _yesterday_—when they were at the cemetery. He had even prompted everything the way it was going to need to be. He started by telling Ness that everybody makes mistakes—and what had happened with Bella was a _huge _mistake. One that could never be taken back. He was constantly berated on a day to day basis over that.

_The past is the past. _He thought. _I can't change it—and even if I could, I wouldn't—_

"Hey, Jake. You getting all this, son?" Charlie asked him, pulling him out of his inner babble.

"Aw, nah. Sorry. What happened?" Jacob blinked hard.

"What _happened?_ " Charlie looked at him in disbelief. "Drew Brees was on _fire_. He was hitting passes to every player on the field. He even hit Reggie Bush a few times. The Saints are up by six…Where ya been, son?" He guffawed.

"Apparently, not here." Jacob took a deep breath. Just then a commercial came on to the screen. Charlie scooted closer to Jake and said in a low voice, "She's gonna be alright, Jake."

This caught him off guard. His head snapped up. "Sir?"

"Ness—that's what everyone's calling her now. I heard you started it. Doesn't shock me; her parent's sure did name her something crazy."

Jake smiled.

"Well, anyway…I saw what happened to her face." Charlie nodded at the floor. "Says she tripped up in the barn—caught the side of the workbench. That true?" Charlie glanced up at Jake.

Jake pursed his lips. _That was cleverer of a story than the first. _He ran his hands down the sides of his face. He sighed. "Yep. She sure did, Charlie."

"Ya know, it's a funny thing." Charlie laughed.

"What is?" Jacob asked curiously.

"Well, ya see, Jake. I had just let her go off alone with her…_boyfriend_—and he's got a history with her about her having little…" Charlie made quotation marks in the air. "…_accidents._" Charlie stared at Jake. "Now, son, if you're leaving out a piece of the story—please tell me now."

It was like Jacob could hear Nessie in his mind: _Please don't tell him, Jake. Please. I'll never be able to forgive you. Please don't tell him._

"No, sir. That's what happened. I witnessed it. She fell." Jacob cleared his throat and leaned forward towards Charlie. "You wanna tell me what kinds of _accidents_ have happened to her while with Mr. Responsible?"

* * *

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK._

Jacob pounded on the French doors of Renesmee's balcony. He waited a few seconds and when there was no answer, he started again.

_KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK. KNOCK, KNOCK—_

"You know," Nessie opened the door and whispered roughly at him. "I'm almost positive that Romeo spoke sweet, beautiful words to Juliet at her balcony—I don't think he almost kicked in her mahogany, French doors!"

It was about nine thirty at night—and the only light was the moon—but he'd be damned if she didn't look so sexy in her tight, little Victoria's Secret panties and short and pink, frilly babydoll dress to sleep in. Her hair was down and sweeping across her shoulders. He couldn't see her face very well, but he recognized that the swelling from her attack had gone down _immensely _overnight. She looked so amazing to him; he could feel his pants getting tighter and tighter each second, but he kept his pokerface.

"February 8, 2009." Jacob leaned against Nessie's trellis against the balcony wall. "Ring any bells."

Nessie took a step back, completely caught off guard. "That was the day that I had my appendix removed."

"Yeah, I know. And why did it need to be removed?" Jacob folded his arms across his chest.

Nessie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Because, Jacob, when the appendix _bursts _inside someone's body, it can be fatal. It's a poison, you know, that gets released inside the—"

"Cut the crap, Nessie." She gasped quietly as he stepped and hovered over her with his massive frame. "You know that it didn't just burst. And can you explain how you got the busted rib with it?"

She looked away. "You can't prove what you're thinking, Jacob." She stepped to the opposite end of the balcony and leaned over it.

He stepped closer. "Charlie was just telling me about all the _accidents _you have around Nahuel. And—come to think of it—I think I witnessed an accident yesterday—in the barn—"

"He kicked me. My appendix was already inflamed and when he kicked me it burst—I don't understand how it happened, but it did. He kicked me in the stomach. He broke my rib when he did it." She admitted with a shrug. "Okay?"

"No! It's not _okay_!" He stepped to her and tried to get her to look at him. He hated how nonchalant she was being about this. "He's playing you!"

"I know." She admitted weakly.

"Do something!" Jake shouted.

"I did." The words came out in a whisper. "I let him play me."

"No..." Jacob stepped closer to her. "Forget about that—all of it. And do something _now."_

"I can't, Jake!" She turned around with tears in her eyes and stared at him. "I can't do _anything _about _anything_, Jacob!"

"Why _not, _Ness?" He shook his head at her. "Why the hell not? Take him down!"

Renesmee held her face in her hands and slid to the ground. Jacob sat beside her and pulled her into his arms. She looked up at him with tears pouring down her face.

"'You say what you say well, but you don't know what you say.'" She sucked in a shaky breath. "That's a quote from a movie that I saw when I was on my first date with him. It means that—that everything you say is great, but you don't know what you're asking of me. You say _take him down, Ness _like it's such a simple thing to do." She shook her head. "I've tried, Jake. I've tried it all before…no one listens to the pathetic kid—because that's _all _I am to-to everyone—"

"Ness—"

"No—let me talk." She swallowed and gently wiped away her own tears. "He raped me in ninth grade—at a party. It was a tag team thing. His friends…they slipped something into my drink. Another friend brought me to the bedroom. Then it was Nahuel's turn. It doesn't feel real—but I remember them cheering him on…as if…he were taking the team to victory. I remember them cheering for my screams…I remember…everything…"

Jacob swallowed uncomfortably and blinked real hard. "You never told?...Anyone?"

Nessie was trying to compose herself now. "Victoria was at the party. I had just met her that night, but she still called us a cab. She took me home with her because—Oh, you might want to keep up; this is the fun part—my parents forgot I had called them." She raised her voice in anger. "They _forgot _that I was screaming in fear on the phone for them to come pick me up. They _forgot _that I couldn't be my own support system. They _forgot, _Jacob…Who forgets to take care of their fourteen year old daughter? Who forgets…?"

She collapsed against his chest and started bawling again.

"Bella did that to you?" Jacob asked in quiet disbelief.

"Not _only _did _Bella _forget about me for _three_ _days…_" Nessie laughed. "I had already told the cops about what Nahuel had done to me…But get this…she forced me…to drop the charges against him." Nessie snorted. "You know why?" She asked but didn't give him time to answer. "It wasn't the right kind of PR—the press would have been all over it. _Especially _because that was around the same time that Cullen-Medeiros Medical Hospital was just founded between our fathers."

Jacob nodded. "That's why…"

"That's why, what?" She sniffed and wiped away her tears.

"That's why you're with him…"

"Yep." She nodded. "We're a walking advertisement for CMMH."

"That's ridiculous. I don't believe Bella _made _you do that—"

"Jacob." Nessie shook her head. "Why do you keep bringing my mother into all of this? No offense but it seems like you have a thing for her."

Jacob's eyes grew wide. "No. I don't have a…_thing _for your mom."…_jury's still out on that one._

"Seems like you do." Nessie cocked her head. "That's one thing I don't understand, though."

"What?" Jake asked hesitantly.

"You say that you knew my mom…right?" He nodded. "I lived in Georgia with parents until I was nine. We moved to Oklahoma that summer. That would've made you…" She did the math. "…Eighteen. But she's _never _mentioned you…like, at _all. _So, how did you know her?"

Jacob clucked his tongue. "She was my babysitter when I younger. After school she would watch me…and on weekends. Whenever my mom was at the dress shop and my dad was at the station—"

"Station?"

"Yeah. Before my dad was paralyzed…he was a ninja in a squad car."

"A ninja?" Ness smiled then said in a sexy voice. "I've always loved ninjas." _She's back to her old self…_

"Ugh." Jacob shuddered. "Please do _not _have a hot dad fantasy over _my _dad."

Ness laughed. "If it helps, then you can have _my _dad—"

"Oh, _God_ no." Jacob shook his head. "I've seen your dad on TV—don't worry; he doesn't do it for me."

"Good!" Ness giggled. "Because…" She pulled him close to her by his shirt. "_I _want to _do it _for you."

"I bet you do." He said kissing her on the lips. "Besides," He said after. "If I _were _going to switch teams…" He shrugged. "I'd probably play for Seth."

Nessie busted out laughing. "I'm sure he would _love _to hear that—" She pulled herself to her feet and started towards the bedroom. "Oh, _Seth!"_

Jacob laughed and jumped up. "_Shhh_, Ness." He grabbed her from behind and picked her up over his shoulders.

She was giggling like a maniac. "Seth!" She faux called out. "Jacob wants to _play with you!" _

He flipped her down and she landed on her back on the bed. "Come here." She grabbed Jacob's hand and pulled him on top of her. "I love you." She smiled and kissed him softly on the lips.

"I love _you_, Ness." He whispered against her mouth. "God…" He kissed her. "I don't know how I made it all my life without. You're so perfect…" He pushed her hair out of her face.

She smiled. "Same here." She licked her lips. "Stay with me tonight, Jake." She whispered running her hands down his chest.

"Ness, I don't know—"

"Please, Jake?" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

He ran a hand through his hair and looked worriedly at the made up bed behind him.

"She's not coming home tonight." She said to him; she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"What? You a mind reader or something?" He smiled. "Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure." She nodded. "Ever since the whole pea incident at dinner, she's been staying at someone named Heidi's or something. She barely comes over unless she knows _I'm_ not around _or_ if she needs something majorly important." She kissed him. "I think you're safe."

He licked his lips and walked over to the light switch. "What about Charlie and Seth?"

Nessie laughed. "God, Jacob." She shook her head and sat up. "You worry about everything." He fake rolled his eyes. "I'm assuming that _Charlie_ is still at your house and won't come home until late. Even then he will be _way _too exhausted to travel up the stairs to come see me. He'll assume I'm sleeping—when in reality—I'm sleeping _with you_. " I sighed and continued, "Seth and Brady are asleep in Seth's—"

"Woah!" Jacob snorted. "There, like…_together_ and…alone."

"Yeah…?" She giggled at his stunned facial expression. "Is that a problem?"

"Naw." Jake shook his head. "Absolutely nothing. But…that kid's got _game_."

"Yes," She agreed. "He does."

"'Kay." He smiled at her and pulled off his button up shirt while kicking off his boots.

"Let me help you with that." Nessie smiled seductively back at him and walked over to him. She slid down to her knees and unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans. She slid them down his legs revealing his boxers. She laughed.

"What?" He said smiling down at her.

"Are those…_Star Wars _boxers?" She fought back a giggle.

"There is nothing wrong with a twenty-six old man—who is still living at home with his father— wearing _Star Wars _underwear—yeah, I'm not helping myself am I?"

"They're…cute." She bit her lip and pulled herself up off the ground. She cleared her throat and mumbled out, "Better than _Star _Trek..."

Jacob stepped out of his jeans and tossed across the room to where he had kicked off his boots. Nessie stood there and stared at him in his wife-beater tank, _Star Wars _boxers, and white socks contrasting against his tan skin. She noticed his farmers' tan on his arms—she could see that it was his white t-shirts that he wears while driving his tractor.

She moaned. "Oh, my God. You are _so_ adork-able, Jacob Black."

He flexed. "I know." She laughed at him.

"Come on." She grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. He flipped the lights off with the other hand.

In the dark, Nessie pulled back the covers and froze. "Are we _both _going to be able to fit on a single-sized bed?"

"Oh, yeah." She could see his figure nod. "Remember?" He asked. "I'm _real _good at making things fit."

Nessie laughed and pulled him onto the bed with her.

"I love you, Ness." Jake cupped his hand against her good cheek. She kissed his palm and replied, "I love you, too, Jake. Always…"

"And forever?" He whispered.

"Of course." He smiled to himself while pulling her closer and tighter into his arms.

They were quiet a minute; they were both listening to the crickets chirping outside her window.

"Jake, you said my mom was your babysitter when you were younger?"

"Mmhm." She felt him nod.

"So, she, like, ya know, like…" Nessie hesitated.

Jacob smiled. "What is it?"

"She took care of you?" Nessie's stomach churned.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I'm just trying to understand why she would take care of someone else's child…and barely even her own." Nessie admitted.

"What are you talking about, Nessie? You know, Bells loves you. I see how loving she looks at you on TV when you guys are doing an interview."

"That's _TV." _Nessie stressed to him. "It's all for show—you know, Jake. I haven't talked to her in—" Nessie started counted back the days—excuse me, _months_—back in her head— "six months—and my father, I haven't seen him since three months ago. And even then it was over breakfast…and he was gone again."

"I'm so sorry, Ness." Jacob kissed her forehead. "I wish I could help…"

"But you can't." Ness said. "All they care about is the hospital and the PR it gets. Which includes me and Nahuel."

"I _still _can't believe Bella made you drop the charges against him."

"Well, believe it; it's the truth." She said bluntly. "If he hadn't, then I'd probably still be…"

"Be what?"

"If he hadn't…" She swallowed not wanting to cry all over again. "…_done that _to me…then I'd probably still be a virgin." She looked away from Jacob's dark face and up at the ceiling. "The rape felt like an all access pass—I could sleep with whoever I wanted, _when_ever I wanted. And for a while…" Nessie shrugged. "It _did _feel good. Mostly that was because I was…_feeling. _God, it was such a change to go from numb to aroused at every touch—" She stopped herself. "I'm sorry. You don't deserve to hear all of this. It's just my nighttime babble kicking in."

"Nessie," He found her hands and pulled them up to his face. He kissed each finger while murmuring, "It's fine. You don't have to stop saying what it is that needs to be said on my behalf. I love you—and _nothing _can change that feeling inside of me that I have for you." He kissed her hair. "Just remember that, okay."

"Okay." That was all she could say. She swallowed back the growing lump in her throat, which seemed more and more everyday like it was becoming a permanent thing.

"I love you, too." She was finally able to say, but Jacob's response se was one of pure exhaustion. She sighed; he was already asleep.

* * *

Jacob could feel the sunlight pounding down onto his eyelids the next morning. He yawned and shifted away from the light, careful not to wake Nessie.

_Nessie…_

He smiled on both the inside and the outside.

"I always knew you were a man-whore." An all-too-familiar voice spoke the snarky comment. "Never thought you'd be one in my room without me there."

Jacob's eyes snapped open. He inhaled a sharp breath at his ex-girlfriend standing there gawking rudely at his new girlfriend in his arms. "Give it a rest, Leah." Jacob said in a hushed voice not trying to wake Nessie.

"I would." Leah pulled open a drawer of the shared dresser. "But it looks like you beat me to it."

Jacob rolled his eyes. Nessie stirred in his arms. He looked at her face. She tucked down deeper to his chest.

"We'll talk about this later." Leah shook her head in disgust. "When you're not with…" She made a horrible face; she didn't want to have anything to do with Nessie. "Whatever."

"Grow up, Leah." Jacob spat.

"Says the cradle-robber." She retorted back. She looked between the two of them once more. "I can't handle this; I'm leaving."

"Yay." Jacob muttered when Leah walked out into the hall and down the stairs.

He looked down at Nessie.

Her face was almost back to normal. That bastard's ring had created a wound that stretched from the whole entire right-to-left side on the apple of her cheek. Yeah, it would heal (no doubt about that), but there would be a scar. A long one…but she'd still be beautiful.

"Jacob…" Nessie murmured.

"I'm here." He wrapped his arms around her.

"Was someone else here?" Nessie's eyes open slowly.

"No one at all." He lied smoothly.

"I could've sworn I heard Leah—"

"No, just me, baby. You were probably dreaming."

"Please," Nessie snorted. "_Dream? _More like nightmare."

"Speaking of Billy, I need to go."

"But we weren't speaking of Billy." Nessie smiled at him. "We were talking about your slore of an ex-bitchfriend."

"Be nice." Jake kissed her nose and let go of her. He walked over to where he had left his jeans. He pulled them on and buttoned them up.

"She's not nice to me." Nessie told him.

"Well, at least treat _her_ like I treat _your_ ex." He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on.

Nessie stared at him for a second. "Maybe you've forgotten, but you almost _shot _my ex."

"I haven't forgotten." He gestured to Nessie's face. "Trust me."

Her hand flew instinctively to touch her cheek. "It's going away." She said absentmindedly. "A little concealer and I'll be good as new."

Jacob sighed. "I hate the way you say that."

"What?" Nessie dropped her hand.

"You say things like that as if it isn't the first time you've had to cover up a scar or a bruise."

Nessie shrugged. "It's not…so why lie?"

After he pulled on his boots, he kissed her forehead. "I'll see you later, honey."

She sighed as he headed toward the balcony. "Jake!" She called after him. "Use the _front_ _door_!"

"Naw, I'm good." He said that just in case Leah was still downstairs; he wasn't ready to face her again.

"Are you afraid you'll get caught?" Nessie smirked.

Jacob just laughed and then said, "It'd be worth it."

Nessie smiled. A second later, she gasped. "Jacob!"

"What?" He asked in a worried tone.

"Speaking of things that are worth it…" She pulled herself out of bed and walked to the corner near her luggage. She unzipped her suitcase and pulled out a dark brown bag. Jacob stared at her curiously. "I got this for you the other day." She smiled to herself and then carried the bag over to him.

He eyed it and read: "Titanium Sunsets?…Alright." He opened the bag slowly and pulled out a small item that was wrapped up. He looked at her.

"Open it." She told him. "I hope you like it."

He sighed and kept on opening.

He stared at the buckle in his hands: The rustic look of copper background. The dangerous expression of the bucking bull. The cowboy showing his love and dedication to what he loved.

"It's…great, Nessie." Jacob smiled. "Really; it's amazing. How much did it set you back?"

Nessie shook her head. "Not enough to concern you. I bought this about a week ago. It was when you and I were…only _barely _talking because I had taken Nahuel back. You were upset with me because—"

"Because I didn't think I was enough." Jacob nodded. "I remember." He sighed. "Are you _sure _that was only a week ago?"

"I know." Nessie laughed once. "It seems like…forever." She looked at him. "I really love you, Jacob Black. You're sweet and you're kind and sensitive and you don't see my flaws—"

He interrupted her with a kiss. "What flaws?" He asked as he slowly pulled away. Then he whispered, "I only see perfection."

Nessie blushed. "Same here."

He kissed her again and whispered against her lips, "I need to go to Billy now. I love you, Nessie—don't forget that."

"I love you, too." She kissed him back.

He pulled away from her again and started towards the French doors to the balcony, but stopped abruptly. "I forgot to tell you something." He said and turned around to face her. "A bunch of the guys and their girls are going out to Sam and Emily's beach house tomorrow. They were wondering if you would like to come and stay."

"For how long?" Ness asked, retreating to her dresser to put on a pair of jeans and a v-neck white t-shirt.

"A week." He said simply.

"You're going to be there?" Nessie asked just making sure.

"Yep." He popped his lips on the _P._

"What about Leah? Will she be there?"

"Nope." Again, popping his lips. "I'll swing by tomorrow morning to pick up you and Seth and Brady."

Nessie smiled. "Seth and Brady are coming, too?"

Jake nodded. "Yep, again. They'll get their own room at the beach house so that they can…be _themselves."_

Nessie went from excited to seductive in under a second. "Do you and _I _get a room to be _ourselves."_

Jacob smirked and watched her pull off her babydoll nightgown and put on her white t-shirt—all the while exposing her perfectly bountiful chest.

He licked his lips. "_God, _I hope so."

"Tell Billy I said 'hi', Jake." Nessie and pulled on her jeans.

"Sure, sure." He mumbled and reluctantly pulled himself down the trellis.

* * *

Sitting at the bar of the Green Boundary Country Club in Aiken, Nahuel straightened up his tie and leaned back in his chair.

He wasn't leaning back because he was tired. No, he was leaning back to get a good look at the perky waitress's ass. _Mary, _her nametag read when she turned around. Nahuel caught her moss-colored eyes and held them for a second.

Her long, blonde hair was pulled up in a ponytail that curled at the ends. He liked the innocence of her features. Pouty lips, big eyes, straight nose…but deep in his heart, he knew she could never replace Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

He looked away from her to show that he wasn't interested in her. He was stretching out his arms when the bartender walked over to Nahuel's end of the counter.

"Can I get you something, sir?" He asked in an authoritative voice.

Nahuel shook his head. "No, sir. I'm good—"Just as the bartender picked up was wiping off the counter with a rag, something caught Nahuel's eye.

"On second thought…" He said. "I'll have her…" He gestured to the woman that had just walked into the room.

The first thing he noticed about her was her tight purple dress. He noticed how the fabric latched onto her curves and wouldn't let go. His eyes followed up her body from her long legs which were accentuated by her gold pumps. He lingered at her breasts for a long moment which were bursting out of the top of the plunging neckline. They were shimmering under the lights as if she had applied a soft lotion to them.

"You wish, buddy." The bartender—_Owen, _his tag read—laughed. "Guys hit on her all the time and they most definitely strike out."

"Well, those guysaren't me." He responded proudly. "Watch and learn, my friend."

Nahuel cleared his throat and walked toward the opposite end of the bar where the woman had just sat down.

"Hello, beautiful…" He said to her in such a voice that would make the girls from Nahuel's high school drop to the ground if awe. That's what he was tired of. High school girls. There so…_hormonal _and _ugh. _Nahuel was over it; he was ready for a woman.

"Get lost, sweetheart." She said without giving him a look whatsoever. "I'm not in the mood to deal with snotty, rich boys like you."

He scoffed. "Maybe I'm not in the mood to deal with a bitch like you…Ever think of that?"

She looked up slowly at her reflection across the bar and then to him. "Listen. I came here to find peace. Not for you to hit on me and leave to tell your little high school buddies that you scored."

He ignored her remarks and asked her something simple. "Why do you need peace?"

He pulled out the chair beside her and sat down.

She stared at him with pursed lips for a moment and then answered him. "I just caught my ex in bed with my—so called—niece."

He laughed which only caused him to glare at her. "What the fuck is your problem?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing." He smirked. "It's just that we're both dealing with issues caused by our exes." He shrugged. "I just found out my girlfriend has been fucking a tire salesman in some little crappy town or something fucked up like that."

She rolled her eyes and said in a sarcastic voice, "Are you trying to tell me that we're soul mates because we have so much in common?"

He snorted looking away. "Please. I don't give a damn if we have a million things in common."

"Then what do you want, little boy?" She narrowed her eyes, which only made her more attractive.

She had long black hair with a deep, tan skin color. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and started towards the opposite end where Nahuel sat.

"I want lots of things. The war to end, a Camaro, more money…" He paused and breathed, "You."

It was the same line he had used on _dozens _of girls before and Renesmee not too long ago. Sometimes it didn't work, most of the time it went a little something to the effect of this:

"Alright." The woman smiled with her eyes at him. "I'm staying in a room upstairs. This is the room number." She scrawled the room number on a napkin with a pen that was laying on the counter behind the bar. "Meet me there in ten minutes. I'll see if you're worth it—no strings attached. All simply physical; nothing more. Got it?"

Nahuel smirked. "Frankly, I'm quite alright when it comes to the physical aspects." He held out a hand. "My name is Nahuel. Nice to meet you."

She shook his hand softly. "Hello, Nahuel. My name's Leah." She smirked. "And in about ten minutes we'll seeif it's nice to meet _you." _

Leah picked up her purse from beside her and started out the doors to head up to her room. She threw Nahuel a wink and then laughed, swinging her hips in that damn, sexy purple dress…

***UGH, Leah and Nahuel doing the nasty. Don't worry; no lemons there for them horrible people...They don't deserve them. But, so, yeah...Hope you liked that chapter. OMG! Nahuel was the one who raped Nessie...It's obvious Jake wants something done about that, but Nessie doesn't...I wonder why that is...? You'll have to find out that answer in the FINAL chappie of CP...I'm guesstimating a possibility of 24 or 25 chapters-not including an epilogue, because that's still up to you guys whether or not you want a sequel. I like keeping you guys up to date with where I am in my writing and so far, I am writing Ch.14...I think. The chapter numbers are beginning to morph into a number that is non-existant...We'll call that chapter number "Goob-oppolis-bob-peppermint-doodle"...I'm tired, don't question me. :P**

***Please review...I know for a fact that there are a total of 376 people reading this story...And it would really, really, REALLY be great if at LEAST half of you review. Seriously, guys. It is NOT that difficult to click the review button and say, "Yay!" or "Great chapter" or give me a crazy long-ass review like BrookeMegan or dkgors...YOU CAN DO IT! And I know that I've said it before but I will say it again...EVERY SINGLE PERSON that "Author Alerts" or "Adds me to their Favorites" or does anything at ALL with this story, I check out your profile and check out your Fave Authors and your Fave Stories AND I even sometimes read YOUR stories that you have. So keep that in mind and PLEASE REVIEW!**


	12. BeachyKeen

***Oh. My. GHANDI! I am SOOOOOOOOO freaking sorry. My internet connection has been really jacked up and I've been doing all my social networking from my phone and I am REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY! Please please please forgive me! Ok...so that brings me to this...**

***This chapter is just a fun little chapter that will make you laugh. Nothing much happening in it. But um...just read it.**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

He held out a hand. "My name is Nahuel. Nice to meet you."

She shook his hand softly. "Hello, Nahuel. My name's Leah." She smirked. "And in about ten minutes we'll seeif it's nice to meet _you." _

Leah picked up her purse from beside her and started out the doors to head up to her room. She threw Nahuel a wink and then laughed, swinging her hips in that damn, sexy purple dress…

**Ch. 12: Beachy-Keen**

**R-POV**

Jacob came over at one in his pick-up. He didn't have as many bags as Brady and I had; both he and Seth had one bag each.

"Wow," He said lifting each bag into Brady's Escape. "This is so very stereotypical."

I rolled my eyes at him playfully. "Shut up." Brady and I said together. We looked at one another and laughed. "Personally," Brady said, "I don't see how you guys fit a week's worth of clothes and shoes into a _single _duffel."

I laughed at Brady's expression. He climbed into the back seat of his Escape, which reminded me: "Now, Jacob, the three of us—" I gestured to Seth and Brady as well as myself. "—have decided that you will drive until the _entire _trip to the beach." I told him.

"Why me?" He asked.

Brady shrugged. "Because paper covers rock." Seth climbed into the back seat as well.

I smiled at Jake as I stared at his bulging muscles lifting our luggage into the back of the van-thing.

After Jake was done, he walked over to me and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me forward. "You excited?"

I laughed. "Sure." He kissed my cheek and then my lips.

"C'mon guys." Seth said. "I need to work on my tan time."

"Me too." I smirked at Jake and ran my hands down his chest. "But I can work on _that_ any time I want."

Brady whispered to Seth, "She just used his skin color as a way into her sexual desires. Maybe I should try that on you." I looked over and Seth was faintly blushing.

"Alright." Jake laughed. "There are rules for this trip ride down there." He made his way to the driver's seat and I to the passenger's. "Rule one," Jacob adjusted his mirror and looked back at Seth and Brady. "When I look in this mirror, I want to see the rear of the road…not either of yours." I looked back at them with a smile. "Rule two," He looked at me for this one and smirked. "Do _not _keep your hands to yourself." I shook my head at him with another playful roll of the eyes.

"And rule three, Sergeant?" I asked with rolled eyebrows.

"What happens in Brady's car _stays_ in Brady's car."

I heard Seth chuckle softly. "Little does he know, we already follow that rule…"

I heard Brady laugh back. "Oh, Seth." I looked back at them and they were sitting closer and holding hands.

I smiled and a minute later we pulled out of the driveway and were headed out of Wagener shortly after that.

"Well, goodnight, guys." I said leaning my seat back.

"You're going to sleep now?" Jacob asked in disbelief. "We just pulled out."

I heard Seth mumble, "That's what he said."

I giggled once and said, "Sure am. I'm exhausted; I barely slept last night."

"How come?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I just didn't."

"Ness…" Jacob grabbed my hand.

I smiled at his concern. "Really. I just didn't sleep well. No reason at all; I just didn't."

"Sure, sure." He said it but he didn't really believe me…

_He shouldn't have, because you're lying to him._

* * *

"I swear," I heard Jacob laughing with Seth and Brady. "I walked into BDA and he was jerking off in the lounge. I wanted to rip my eyes out."

"Yeah, Jake," Brady was laughing. "I'm _gay_ and even _I _wouldn't want to see Embry fondling himself."

It was silent for a second and I thought I would still be able to keep my eyes closed without them knowing I was awake yet, but then Jacob asked, "What's that like?"

Seth was the one to answer. "Embry fondling himself?"

"No; being gay."

"Uh…" Seth said. "I don't understand the question. You want to know…what it's like being…gay?"

"Oh, it's fun." Brady said. "Most of the time."

"Most of the time?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, well, people look down on you sometimes—like you're not worthy enough to be around them. They make you feel ashamed to be gay. Personally, I like it when people mention I'm gay in a derogatory way—at least they are able to recognize that I can hold my own. At least they notice."

"He's a masochist." Seth said. "I like that about him."

"Yeah, I am. But I'm not going to go as far as to say that I was born this way. Because I _don't _think that. I think I was born and the world was filled with so many vile things that it corrupted me—and not to mention how _disgusting _vaginas are to look at."

"Offense." I spoke up as I opened my eyes and pulled my seat up.

"Sorry, Nessie." Brady laughed. "I didn't mean to offend your lady parts. Personally, I want to be a girl just for the boobs."

"Wow…"I laughed. "But yeah, I guess they _are _prettygreat."

"Hell yeah." Jake smiled at me.

I looked at the clock. We had left at around one; it was now two fifteen.

"When do you think we'll get to Myrtle Beach?" I asked him.

Jacob looked at the clock and thought for a moment. "Four…ish." He said.

I nodded and then sighed. Bored, I asked: "Anyone want to play a little game?"

"I'm up for it." Seth said almost immediately. "I've been dying of boredom back here—what you got in my mind, Ness?"

"Okay," I said turning in my seat so that I could look at them all. "Just say something about yourself that no one in this car knows. It'll be harder considering we know a lot about each other…but try." I looked at Jacob, who was giving me a face that said _what do I not know about you? _

"Ooh! And also, no judging. No one can get mad at anyone for anything. Got it?" They all nodded. "I'll go first." I said and thought for a moment. "I hate porn." I admitted. "I think it's disgusting—unless it's of me and my significant other."

Jacob snorted. "I love porn. Especially lesbian porn."

I stared at him.

"What?"

"That is so_ male _of you to say." I shook my head at him.

"No," Brady said. "You're stereo-typing, Nessie. I'm male—and I _hate _lesbian porn. I prefer pornography of the homosexual male variety."

We looked at Seth, who was looking out the window.

"What about you, Seth?" I asked. "Do you like porn?"

"Honestly," Seth said looking back at us. "I've never watched porn—male, female…anything."

It was quiet.

"But what about that _Playboy_ I found that one day?"

"It was Collin's." He shrugged. "And that was when I was merely experimenting with my sexuality."

I nodded. "Alright. Who's next?"

"Me." Jake said. Like me, he had to think up a good thing no one knew. "I lost my virginity when I was fourteen…at a college party." He looked over at me.

"How did you get into a college party at fourteen?" Brady asked.

"I knew a guy." Jacob shrugged.

"How old was the girl you lost it to?" Seth asked.

"She was twenty-three." He answered and looked back at me again. "You're not supposed to judge me, remember?"

"I'm not judging you, Jake." I said. "But did you even know her name?"

"Yep, I sure did." He didn't say anything else.

"What was it?" I asked.

He looked at me for yet a third time. "You're mad."

"Am not." I told him.

"Yes, you are." He said and touched his index finger to my lips. "Whenever you get mad, your lips go into a really small and pouty, tight line."

I sighed. "What was her name, Jacob?"

He sighed and looked in the rearview mirror towards the backseat. "It stays in this car, right?"

The boys gave their _yes-_es and so did I.

"It was Heidi."

Seth and Brady both gasped. I looked back at them and their mouths were nearly hitting the floor.

"You lost your _V-card _to _Heidi?" _Seth screeched. "Jacob that is _disgusting!" _

Then it clicked.

"Wait, isn't Heidi—"

"Yep—" Seth began and Brady finished.

"That's Leah's best friend."

"Leave that bitch out of it—sorry, Seth." I told him.

"Don't be." He said. "It's the truth."

My eyes shot to Jacob. "That would make her—what? Forty, now?"

"Thirty-seven." Seth said. "She just celebrated her birthday."

"Oh, my God." Brady shook his head. "I'm shocked you don't have HIV or Chlamydia or something."

My eyes widened at Jacob.

"I don't!" He almost screamed. "It was a long, _long _time ago and she was _way _too experienced. Plus, it was real nasty down there." He shuddered. "Like having sex with a cactus."

I almost fell out of my seat in laughter as I remembered a conversation from one of the first times I had met Jacob.

_"Jack Daniels." I swallowed uncomfortably. "No, not really a good thing for me to have. I had too much once before and…things ended really bad."_

_He laughed once. "You lose your virginity to a cactus?"_

_I nearly choked. "W-what—Is that code for something?" _

_His face remained relaxed as he bluntly said, "Unfortunately, no. It's not."_

I could feel that my face was almost purple. "You weren't kidding—you were serious when you told me that!" I laughed even more and then after about a minute I was able to collect myself with slight giggles only every now and then.

"Alright." Brady said. "My turn." He smiled deviously like he had already had this one prepared. "I love Guidos/Juiceheads. I _love _big, beefy guys with hairy bodies and no brains."

Seth laughed at him. "I know where _you_ get _your_ porn. It's on MTV—I do believe that it is a show called _Jersey_ _Shore_."

I laughed and said, "I think that is where you and I differ, Brady. You see, I _do _enjoy muscular guys—but not _overly _muscly. I _love _guys with dark, rich tans—"

Jacob snorted. "Refer back to ex-boyfriend and now-boyfriend."

I laughed. "But not _orange. _And I love the black hair on guys—as _long _as it isn't gelled up like that little boy on _The Simpsons. _That's my type—and oh yeah,_" _I jumped. "No body hair."

"No body hair?" Seth asked me. "Like chest hair and/or other body parts?"

"Exactly." I nodded. "I have a motto: I don't want to kiss you and get lost. I don't want to hug you and get lost—and I most _definitely _do not want to _suck _you and get lost."

"Why have I never heard this motto before?" Jacob asked me.

"It's never come up with you; you don't have overly hairy body. Actually, you don't an overly hairy _anything_ except for your legs, arms, and that _sexy_ five o' clock shadow. I say you're doing okay. Keep it up, my bitch." I winked and he laughed.

"Seth," Brady nudged him. "Your turn."

He smiled. "I can't really think of anything."

"C'mon." I pushed his knee. "There's got to be something."

"No, there's not." He was quiet and then said slowly. "I got a call this morning and was told that my art was being published in _Time _magazine."

Everyone stared at him. Literally, it was silent in the car for about a minute.

"Are-are you serious?" I asked him trying to mask the excitement in my voice just in case he _was _joking.

"I am." He nodded.

"Oh my _gosh!" _I exploded. "Seth, that's great! Your work really is amazing!"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about that!" Brady hugged him and kissed his cheek. "I am so proud of you!"

"I heard you were a good photographer." Jacob said. "That's awesome, man."

"Not _only_ is my man a good photographer," Brady was still hugging Seth. "He's a great artist, too."

"He really is." I told Jake and then looked at Seth. "Did you send them in or something?"

"No, my art teacher did. Actually, she knows the one of the editors and she was able to pull a few strings."

"That's incredible," I said. "I'm really happy for you. Your art is great."

"Thanks, Ness." He smiled.

Thirty minutes later, both Seth and Brady were asleep in the back seat in each other's arms.

Jacob picked up my hand. "I love you." He said kissing it gently.

"I love you, too." I sighed. "I need to tell you something."

He peered at me in the corner of his eye. "_God, _Ness." He said in a worried voice. "If this is something about you and Nahuel—"

"It's not." I rubbed my thumbs in a circular motion along his hand. "I lied to you earlier. When you asked me why I didn't sleep well…I lied."

"What about, Nessie?"

"I've been having this dream for a while. Since Bree and Victoria were down here, actually. In it, they die…and so do you. I get so scared that it's going to just…stop being a _dream. _That it—"

"That's not going to happen, Ness." Jacob reassured me. "I'm going to be by your side no matter what, because I love you, honey."

I smiled weakly. "I'm sorry for lying."

"It's fine—well, not _fine…_but I need you to trust me more with your secrets. You have little confidence in me when it comes to telling me things—"

"That not true, Jake." I told him. "I tell you everything most of the time."

He shook his head. "That's just it. Most of the time isn't _all_ the time—and that's what I need from you."

I nodded with a smile plating on my lips. "I love you, you know that, right?"

He smiled and kissed my hand. "I sure do."

* * *

We _finally _made it to Sam and Emily's beach house at four, like Jacob had predicted, after that very successful drive over. We stepped out of the Escape and looked up at the huge beach house. A sign near the roof stated the name of the house, "Alpha Shark".

"Welcome, friends." I heard a familiar voice. I looked up at the deck to see Sam and Emily descending down the stairs. "We're glad you could make it." Sam continued.

"Well, thanks for inviting us, Sam." Jake said walking to the trunk of the car. He opened it and began to pull out all of our bags.

Sam walked to us and held a hand out to Jake. Jake shook it and then Sam did the same to me. "Good to see you again, Nessie." I smiled, _did Jake send out a mass email telling everyone to start calling me that or something? _

"Hey, you too. Thanks for letting me come." I said.

"No problem." Emily said giving me a hug. "Any friend of Jake's is a friend to us."

Seth and Brady got out of the Escape.

"Thanks for inviting us, too, guys." Seth said.

"Yeah," Brady nodded. "Thanks." He had a pair of blue Ray-Bans on now.

"Grab your bags, you guys," Emily said, "and I'll show you guys where your rooms are."

I smiled at Jake and picked up my four bags in my hands. I followed Emily up the stairs and into the house.

It was stunning.

There was a chandelier in the middle of the living room, illuminating the gold walls. A dark brown leather couch sat there along with a glass coffee table.

Emily kept on walking through the room and into an open doorway which held the kitchen. It was pretty, too.

Everything was made of stainless steel except the counters; they were a dark, black marble.

We kept walking and then entered a hallway that ascended upstairs. We walked up there.

"Ness," She smiled at me. "Both yours and Jake's room is up here along with Collin, Paul, and Embry's room."

Jacob was at the bottom of the stairs now with his bag. "Did I just hear you say that Collin, Paul _and _Embry are sharing a room?"

Emily laughed. "Yes, you did, Jake."

"This ought to be good." Jacob snorted.

"It shall." Emily agreed with another laugh.

When we got to the top of the stairs we kept on walking straight ahead. Finally we made our way to a room with a red door.

"Here's your room." She opened the door.

I was speechless.

The first thing I noticed was the view of the beach. It was right there—and we had a deck and everything to go out on and sit…_or_…

"Wow." I looked at Jacob's nodding head. "This is great."

I scanned around the room with my eyes.

Not _only _was the room _huge_, but it was also furnished in the most beautiful of colors and textures. The floor was hardwood—easier to pick up sand from off the beach. There was a dresser and beside that was a giant, full length mirror that stretched to the floor. If you didn't know any better, you might think it to be another room and walk in to it.

And then there was the bed.

It was king-sized with large fluffy pillows and a big, cool water-colored comforter.

_Is it wrong for me to think about Jacob and I doing the nasty right here, right now, on this? _I thought.

"So, the bathroom is right there…" She pointed to another door angled across from the bed. "Unfortunately, it must be shared with Collin, Embry, and Paul. It has a door connecting to their room as well as yours—it locks for privacy on both sides." She laughed. "Just in case." She nudged me.

I shook my head still taking in the beauty of the room. "This is gorgeous. The house, the room—_everything." _I set my bags down on to the floor.

"Why, thank you." She smiled. "I'll leave you guys to unpack. Come down whenever you want. Just FYI we're eating dinner at six." She winked at the two of us.

When she had left the room, I fell onto the bed.

"I am _exhausted_." I said.

Jake sighed. "Me too." He made a fake stretched and just _happened _fall on top of me on the bed. "So tired…" He sighed again overdramatically and started to bounce rapidly on top of me. "And this _bed _is so nice to _lay on."_

I giggled. "The _bed, _you perv?"

He kissed my neck. "I love you." He said as rolled off of me. He stood up and pulled his shirt off and kicked off his flip-flops. He was sliding down his khaki shorts when I laughed.

"Woah, boyfriend. What are you about to do to me?"

He laughed. "Well, I _was _going to take a nap before dinner is ready—but I _could _do _everything _to you." He jumped and dove onto the bed beside me, wrapping me in his arms.

"No, not now." I giggled as I playfully pushed his chest. He pretended to chomp at my neck and cheeks causing me giggle even more. "We are only going to _sleep _now."

"Now?" His eyebrows rose up with his goofy grin.

I pinched his cheek and got out of bed. "No, you horny animal. _Sleep_ now."

"Love-making later?"

I winked. "If you don't get an erection between now and then, I will make love to you."

"Then when?" He asked.

I unbuttoned my jeans and slowly pulled them down my hips. I bit my lip and stepped out of them. I kicked them across the room and pulled off my top shirt.

"I'm losing, Ness." Jake nearly moaned as he stared at me in my orange camisole and purple cheekies from Victoria's Secret. His hand slowly drifted to the front of his boxers. "Orange and purple?"

"Your dad said you were into the Clemson Tigers." I smirked. "I thought you might like it."

"Oh, I do." He nodded and held his arms out to me. "Come, my love."

I laughed and crawled under the covers; he did the same.

"I love you." I told him. It was so reflexive to say to him. Like I had been saying it all my life.

"I love you, too." He kissed my hair and I pressed my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me. "Wake me up if you have a bad dream."

"I will." I said sleepily. "Promise…"

We didn't do anything but spoon, because the second we closed our eyes we were out like lights.

* * *

"Aaahhh!"

I wasn't the one screaming…nor was I the one making the bed rock up and down, back and forth, side to side and everything in between.

No, this was a high-pitched scream. It was deafening enough to almost make me want to rip my eardrums out—because _that _would be less painful for me to deal with.

"Unca Jake! Unca Jake! Unca Jake!" The voice was bouncing up and down.

_Correction_: The child _containing_ the voice was comingfrom was jumping up and down...on the bed.

I opened my eyes to see and Emily and Sam's son—Levi—straddling Jake's chest. He was beating his itsy-bitsy fists against Jake's pecs. Jacob opened one eye groggily and then smiled.

"Hey, little man!" Jake scooped him up into a big bear hug.

"Unca Jake, I canst breave." The squished child said against Jake's grip.

"Oh!" Jacob joked. "Sorry, Levi." He let him sit back up on his chest.

"Now," The three-year-old giggled. "Guess who's comin' to the beage?"

"I don't know." Jake poke Levi's tummy. "Who's coming to the beach?"

He giggled more and, in a bashful voice, said, "Allie."

"Ooh!" Jacob nodded. "She's pretty. Is she your girlfriend, player?"

"No!" Levi squealed. "Girls are _yucky!" _He looked at me. "No 'ffense, Nessie."

I sighed. "Well, _I _happen to think that _boys _are yucky."

"Nu-uh." Jacob disagreed. "We're the best. Right, Levi?" Jacob held up a palm to the little boy.

"Right!" He high-fived it. He smiled and then looked at me. "If you think boys are so yucky, then why's you asleep wiff Unca Jake?"

"Because." I said with a smile.

"'Cause why?"

"'Cause I don't think _this _boy is yucky." I nudged Jake with my elbow.

Levi looked back at Jake with an exasperated expression. He pointed his nubby finger at me. "Do you think _she's _yucky?"

"Yes." Jacob said nodding his head.

"Ugh!" I slapped his chest. "That's rude, Uncle Jake."

He smiled and the door opened to the bedroom. "Levi Aaron Uley, why on _earth _are you bothering Jake and Nessie?"

It was Sam. He pointed to the spot on the ground next to him.

"Come here now, son. Leave the two of them alone."

"Okay…" Levi sighed and trudged to the end of the bed.

"Come here, little man." Jacob told him.

Levi smiled and jumped into Jacob's arms. "I love you, buddy."

"I love you, too, Unca Jake." Levi said. Jacob leaned his cheek towards him; Levi gave a little, wet kiss and then turned to me with his short arms. He wrapped them around my neck. "I love you, too, Nessie—even if you _are _a yucky girl."

I laughed. "I love you, too, you yucky boy."

And with that Levi jumped off the bed and onto the floor. He ran towards the door and passed Sam.

"Sorry," Sam apologized. "He's been all over the place today. It won't happen again."

"He's fine, Sam." Jacob waved him off and sat up in the bed. "Live a little, man."

"Goodbye, Jake." Sam started out the door. "You, too, Nessie."

He closed the door; I looked at Jacob. "Uncle Jake?"

He laughed. "The more appropriate title would be 'Godfather Jake', but I'll deal with whatever." He shrugged. "Although, that would be pretty cool if I could get him to ask me a favor," Jacob scratched his chin and puffed out his cheeks.

I laughed at poked them. "You're crazy."

He shrugged. "That's why you love me."

"No," I shook my head. "I love you because you're perfect—craziness is a mere _part _of your perfection."

"Oh, shucks." Jacob was faintly blushing.

I kissed his cheek and then looked over at the clock on the wall.

"It's almost six. You want to go downstairs?" I asked him.

"Do we have to?" He whined and pulled me into his arms and then said in a frilly, girly voice, "Don't you want to stay for a while and cuddle?"

I laughed at him. "I'm starting to wonder about you. First you tell me that if you could switch teams, you'd play for Seth. Then, not to mention, I hear you ask him what it's like to be gay." I smirked at him. "So, is there something you'd need to tell me?"

"Yes, there is…" He looked down and then slowly lifted his gaze up to me. He sighed. "I'm…so in love with you." He dipped his head down and kissed my neck. "You are the most beautiful woman in the whole world."

"As are you, you animal." I giggled and pulled his lips to mine. I smiled against them and kissed him once more before pulling away and getting out of the bed.

I looked back at him. He was glaring at me. "That wasn't very nice, you tease."

I stuck my tongue out and then pulled on my jeans.

"Those aren't necessary." He said.

"Around Seth and Brady, at least." I smirked at him.

He rolled out of the bed and pulled on his khakis. I was running my eyes up his body when I saw something right above his right hip.

"What is that scar from?" I asked. It was a long faded line that stretched from the outer of his hip bone and then shortly towards his V-cut. It was almost directly between his three-leaf clover and—ironically—the word "luck".

He looked down and slowly explained. "I was stabbed when I was sixteen. I got into some trouble with a few guys and…this happened."

"Oh, my God." I gasped. "What do you mean _a few guys? _Like a gang?"

"Gang…" He nodded and then said in a quiet voice. "Drug dealers."

I stared at him. "Drug dealers…?" I looked down and then back up. "You were on drugs?"

He swallowed. "I did a lot of things back then that I am _not_ proud of. Drugs were just one of those smaller glitches on the radar."

I don't know why this made me so uncomfortable, but I felt that I was going to puke my guts up right there, right then.

"What…kind of drugs? Were you a junkie?" I asked crossing my arms across my chest. It felt like all my confidence was drained out from inside me.

He ran his hand through hair. "What does it matter what I took—"

"It just…does." I cut him off. "Please….What kind of drugs?"

He sighed. "I did coke…and heroin. I smoked weed. I was really into crystal meth and a little PCP." He cleared his throat. "And, yeah, I _was_ a junkie."

I felt my eyes starting to tear up. "You're not…_still_—"

"No." He shook his head firmly. "No, I gave it all up when I was nineteen. That was when I learned that there were better things in life than just narcotics. I've been about seven years sober now." He moved to my side. He reached to touch my arm and—I don't know why—but I jerked away.

"Ness…" He said. His voice was coated in hurt and pain. "I'm not that guy anymore. You know that—you've seen me. Have I even _acted _like that since you've known me?"

I didn't answer.

"Please, trust me." His voice cracked. "No one in that town truly knows the real Jacob now. They all remember the screwed up crack-head from back then. But _you _know me." This time when he touched me, I didn't pull away. He drew me into his arms.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked in a weary voice.

"I wanted to—I really did." He sucked in a shaky breath. "But I thought you might react—well…like this."

"I'm not _reacting _like anything, Jake. It's just a _lot _to take in." I sighed and then cleared my throat. "And I do trust you, Jake, I really do, but…it's a lot to take in…" I repeated.

"I know, and I'm sorry." He kissed my forehead.

"No more secrets?" I looked up at him.

He shook his head. "No more secrets. You know everything about me." He pulled away and grabbed my hand. "Let's go see everyone, alright?"

I sighed too quiet for him to hear and grabbed his hand. I pushed out a tight smile and said, "Sure."

We heard an echoing voice reverberating off the walls. He laughed in a creepy way. "It was so friggin' hilarious, guys!" Jake and I made it to the bottom of the stairs to the kitchen just in time for me to see a tan guy waving his arms around and telling a very dramatic story.

He was okay looking. He had short brown hair and was just, well, short—well, I take it back. He wasn't short—but he wasn't as tall as Jake.

"What was, Paul?" Jake asked the guy.

Paul looked up from telling the story to Emily and Sam. I noticed the guy I had met at BDA when I had gone to pick up my truck. Emery, or something? And in the very back corner of the room, I saw someone that almost made me laugh and _he _was the one to answer Jake.

"We went to Hooter's and _today_ just _happened _to be the day that they're giving carwashes out in their sexy, little white t-shirts." Collin smirked. "Embry, over here—" He jabbed a thumb in _Embry's _direction. "—got a _little_, _bitty_ boner at first glance."

Embry stood and glared at Collin, but before he could yell at him a tiny little voice asked, "What does that mean?"

Everyone looked over to Levi, who was sitting on the floor rolling his trucks around.

"Well," Sam nodded to his son. "What do you think it means?"

"I think it means that Em-ber-y thought that those girls were pwity and then he gots excited." The little boy looked up with a gleaming smile. Everyone laughed.

"You're a genius, you know that?" Paul ran and scooped Levi over his shoulders and faux-slammed him on the couch causing him to giggle.

"Daddy says that I knows too much for my owns good."

Paul looked up at Sam with a goofy grin. "Now, why would he say that?"

"Yep." Levi chirped. "'Cause I hang around your loud ass."

"Levi!" Emily's mouth dropped but her eyes were smiling with everyone who was laughing around her.

"What?" Levi's little black brows pushed together. "That's what Daddy says about him."

"I agree with your Daddy, Jammer." Jake said from beside.

Levi wrestled away from Paul and ran over to Jake. He launched himself into his arms. Levi laid his head onto Jake's chest and looked at me. He smiled and I smiled back.

"Let's go talk to your Daddy, little man." Jake told him and then looked at me.

"Go, I'll be right here." I told him. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

As they walked to Sam, I heard Levi ask Jake, "Do you love her?"

"Yes, I do." Jake answered.

"Are you gonna get married and have lots of babies?"

Jake chuckled. "You ask a lot of questions, kid." Jake sighed and then said quietly, "God, I hope so."

I thought to myself, _Marrying Jake and having kids…God, I hope so…_

"Hello, beautiful. I haven't seen you in a while."

I looked up to see Collin standing next to me. He took a brief overview of my body and then looked up into my eyes.

"Yeah," I smirked at him. "I was enjoying the silence."

He chuckled and licked his lips. His lip ring bobbed when he smiled. "So, you and Jacob, eh?"

"Yes. Me and Jake." I nodded. "What's that got to do with you?"

"It doesn't." He shrugged. "I just want you to be careful with him."

I quirked a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Trust." He said. "It's something I saw in your eyes the first time I met you. You trust people too easily."

"I do not." I shook my head. "And there is _nothing _untrustworthy about Jacob."

"Fine." He held up his hands in surrender. "But don't blame me when he hurts you."

He started to walk away, but I grabbed his arm. He looked down at the contact and then smiled at me. "Can't keep your hands off of me?"

I slapped his arm.

"Ow!" He grabbed it.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him in a stern voice.

"Ask him about '94." His smirk was gone and he was looking at me with a serious face.

"What about '94, Collin?"

"Just ask him." He swallowed and then shook his head at me. "You shouldn't trust him, Renesmee. I don't because he's dangerous."

"How so—"

"Hey, Ness…" Jacob said. The three-year-old had removed himself from Jacob's hip now and was nowhere to be seen. Jacob eyed Collin. "Hello, Collin."

"Hello, Jacob."

I stood back and stared at the two of them. They were both puffed up with testosterone—I was waiting on them to start pounding their chests to find out who was the dominate male.

"This guy bothering you, Ness?" Jake asked me without taking his eyes away from Collin.

"Oh, please, Jacob." Collin rolled his eyes. "Give it a rest. Let her talk to me if she wants to."

Jacob slowly turned to me. "You want to talk to him?"

I exhaled and then looked at Collin's leering face. "No." I said grabbing Jake's hand. "I want to go for a walk on the beach…" I looked to Jake's face. "With my _trust_worthy boyfriend that loves me."

"Good luck with that." Collin snorted.

Jacob puffed up his chest again and stepped toward Collin; he towered over him. "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Collin held up his hands with a grin. "Nothing…" He looked to me. "But there's absolutely no need to get _dangerous_ with me."

I rolled my eyes and before Jake could puff back up, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the door to the porch.

"Come on, Jake." I said. "Leave Collin alone to have make-up sex with his right hand."

Lightening the mood, Jacob's laugh was so beautiful.

* * *

"I really don't like that guy." Jacob said kicking the sand on the beach with his bare feet.

"I'm not his number one fan either." I said.

We had kicked off our shoes at Sam and Emily's porch and were now making our way down the shoreline. Hand in hand we watched the sun go down and we even saw a few dolphins pass by. In a distant I could see a shrimp boat reeling in a day's catch.

I looked up at him and I meant to tell him how attractive he looked—I really did—but instead, these words came flying out of my mouth:

"What happened in '94?"

Jake's steps faltered, but he kept on walking with me. "Why?" He asked in a stiff voice.

I sighed. "I know about your arrest." He stared at me. "I don't know why, but I don't…" I shook my head. "Why?"

"It's not important." He said in the same constrictive voice.

"Of course it's important, Jake. We're trying _not _to keep secrets, remember—"

"Ness, please don't make me tell you."

"Jake—"

"If you love me, then you won't make me say."

I stared at him for a long moment and then sighed. "Fine—but _only _because I love you." I pulled him closer and kissed his lips softly. "And," I said as we pulled apart, "because I totally agree that Collin is a douchebag."

He laughed. "I don't like the way he looks at you."

I nodded. "Yeah. Ever since he saw me almost naked, he's looked at me with a _bulging _erection."

Jake stared at me. I shrugged. "Hey, you got your secrets—I got mine." I started walking again and he followed me.

"So…" I grabbed his hand. "Levi worships you like a god."

"Well _that _makes sense." He nodded with a smile. "Seeing as I _am _his _god_father."

"Ooh, that sounds like a tough job." I pushed his arm and he laughed.

"Truth be told, it couldn't get any easier." He shrugged. "All you got to do is love him." He shook his head in disbelief. "God, I remember when that little boy was born. They grow up so fast."

I smiled and then asked, "Do you think you'll ever want to make room for a little girl?"

Jacob stopped completely in his tracks and swallowed. He turned his head as slow as a turtle and looked at me with a neon white complexion.

"Are…Are you…?" His eyes went wide then he whispered one word. "Pregnant?"

"No! No, no, no, no!" I jumped, shaking my head. "I'm not."

He exhaled out his lungs completely. "Good. I can't…handle…anything like that right now."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked with my hands on my hips. "What if I just lied to you? What if I really _am _pregnant?"

"With everything going on with Billy, I can't deal with another mouth to feed."

I stared at him. His face was telling me something different.

"Don't hide behind Billy, Jake. He can take care of himself."

"Sadly, he can't. That's why I'm there—"

"No." I shook my head. "He's got everyone in Wagener checking up on him every single moment of every single day. Now, what's the real reason?"

He pursed his lips. "I'm afraid that I won't be a good dad."

"Jacob." I gasped in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? You would the _greatest _father in the world." I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He shook his head. "What if my little boy or girl comes to me with drug problems at school. I'd be a hypocrite."

"Think of it like this." I offered up. "Would you rather have a son that's mad at you for being hypocritical about something that could potentially kill him? Or would you rather have a son that's mad at himself for _not_ _listening _to you being a hypocrite over something that could, well, potentially kill him?"

"Got any choices where my son isn't such a teenager?"

I laughed at him. "Unfortunately, no. I don't."

"I don't know then." He shrugged and kissed my forehead. "But I could _definitely _see myself with a little country girl, too."

I smiled. "Well, _I _could see myself with a beautiful boy."

"What about both?" He asked.

"Like twins?" I asked and he nodded. "I'd love that most. I want to just go to college, get married, have kids and live forever watching them grow up and have their own families." I sighed. "I just want someone to love and to love me back…."

"_I _love you." He smiled and then kissed my hair. "What do you want to be?"

I shrugged. "I don't know yet. I went through a phase where I wanted to be a forensic—but then I realized I could get shot—out of the question. I wanted to be a plastic surgeon, but I don't do well being at the risk of killing someone—and/or myself—with one wrong move—also out. So, now, sometimes I think about becoming a teacher."

"Ooh." Jacob laughed. "You look absolutely _stimulating._"

"Oh, really?" I asked with a smirk.

"Sure, sure." He nodded. "I can see you in a little skirt and a bun in your hair—maybe even some sexy, little glasses."

I pursed my lips at him. "Do I get to spank you with my ruler?"

He chuckled. "As long as I get to spank you with mine."

I laughed and then kissed him.

He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I've always wanted to have sex with a teacher." He shrugged. "Just to, ya know, see if I could get away with it."

"I want to have sex with you." I blurted out.

He stared at me and then his eyes went wild as he glanced around the beach. "Now?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Now. Or later. It's not really up to me. You're the one with that special appendage that makes everything necessary."

He smirked and then ran a hand through his hair. "Tonight. When everyone goes out for bingo. You and I can stay in—unless you _want _to go to bingo?"

I ran my hands up his muscular arms. "I'd rather stay home with you." I dropped my hands and pulled him closer against me by his belt loops. "And we _could _make it interesting."

He raised his eyebrows. "How so?"

"Role-play." I smirked at him. "That's always fun."

I _swore _that I saw him blush then. "Never tried it."

I gasped. "Are you serious?"

He nodded and then said quietly, "Maybe…"

I slapped his arm. "Are you telling me that I'm going to be the _first _to swipe your _RP card?"_

He shrugged. "Guess so."

"It'll be fun." I winked. "Just wait and see…"

***Thank you sooooo much for reading. I'll ask of you what I do everytime, please review. Thanks again, and sorey about the late uploading. My bad.**


	13. Sun, Sand, and Sexiness!

***Um...So...I'm back! I don't have an excuse this time. I've just been busy with life and LOTS of males that have been bothering my mind CONSTANTLY. Sooooooooooooooooo sorry that I haven't updated in a while...It feels like years...My bad, y'all. :O...So, this is chapter 13-LUCKY number thirteen as I like to say. Please enjoy and review. SPEAKING OF REVIEWS: I had a reviewer ask what Jake's hair is like...In my mind, it's short, but not REAL short and it's fluffy and black. Glad I can help, haha...**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

**Chasing****Perfection **

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

He smirked and then ran a hand through his hair. "Tonight. When everyone goes out for bingo. You and I can stay in.—unless you _want _to go to bingo?"

I ran my hands up his muscular arms. "I'd rather stay home with you." I dropped my hands and pulled him closer against me by his belt loops. "And we _could _make it interesting."

He raised his eyebrows. "How so?"

"Role-play." I smirked at him. "That's always fun."

I _swore _that I saw him blush then. "Never tried it."

I gasped. "Are you serious?"

He nodded and then said quietly, "Maybe…"

I slapped his arm. "Are you telling me that I'm going to be the _first _to swipe your _RP card?"_

He shrugged. "Guess so."

"It'll be fun." I winked. "Just wait and see…"

**Ch. 13: Sun, Sand, and Sexiness!**

**R-POV**

We got back to the house around six-thirty. All the adults were getting ready for bingo night at the beach. Levi was on the floor playing with a little girl—who I took to be Allie. He was rolling around with his trucks and Allie with her pretty Barbies. They were all giggly and Levi was blushing. I couldn't resist smiling.

Allie looked up and caught Jacob's eye. She waved, "Hey, Jake!" She jumped and ran to his knees. She hugged him tightly, and then looked up through her lashes.

Jake smiled and bent down on one knee. He kissed her cheek and she twirled a little blonde in between her fingers.

"Hello, Princess Allie." He said to her causing her to giggle.

She smiled as she held up a Barbie doll. "You want to play?"

"Actually—" He began, but was interrupted by a petite blonde woman.

"Sorry, Allie, Jacob can't play with you right now." The lady put her hands on her hips. "You need to change for bingo."

"Awww…." The little girl pouted.

"We can play later." Jake smiled at her.

"Promise?" Her eyes lit back up.

"Promise." He nodded. "Now go listen to Mama Kim and get ready for bingo."

"Okay." Allie threw her arms around Jake once more and then skipped out of sight.

Kim held out a hand to Levi. "You, too, little fellow. Your daddy wants you."

Levi laid down his truck and sadly trudged out, as well.

I looked up down at Jacob who was still on his knees. I ran my hands through his hair. "And who said you would make a bad father?"

He shrugged just as Paul walked in.

He froze as he stared at Jake on one knee and me standing over him. "Dude?" He asked.

Jacob stood up with his hands up. "No, I'm not proposing."

Sure. The way he had said it should have pissed me off, but I was too busy blushing the color of a plum to do anything.

"Man," Paul shook his head. "I wish you would. There's so much _lust_ between you guys. You should probably seal the deal."

Jacob swallowed and then looked at me. I could feel the heat wash over my cheeks.

"I'm just saying." Paul said walking past me.

I almost fainted at the smell of his cologne. It was overpowering the air as he spoke, "You guys going out tonight?"

Jacob shook his head to him. "Naw, we're going to stay in."

"Watch a movie…or something." I smirked at Jake.

"Or something." Paul chuckled. "Well, be sure to think of me while you're watching a movie…or, well, something."

"You're sick, man." Embry walked in. He winked at me. "Think of _me_ while you're—" He faux-coughed. "—watching your movie."

I patted Jake's chest. "I'm going to be in the room." I bit my lip. "_Come _when you're ready." I ran my hand down his chest quickly, only barely grazing the front of his pants. I looked up at Paul and Embry. "How long until you're out of the house?"

"Twenty minutes tops." Embry said with a very subtle groan.

"Good." I said and then looked back at Jake. "I'm going to take a quick shower. Come find me when they're gone…" I whispered.

"God, I love her." I heard him say as I began up the stairs.

I laughed as I walked into the bedroom.

I pulled my suitcase from the floor and threw it on top of the big bed. I pulled out my…ahem…_necessary materials _for Jake's and my little role play session—which I was _totally _excited about, by the way.

_He's never done it before…_I smiled mischievously to myself as I hurried into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and began pulling off my clothes. _I'll make it worth his while. I'm always good at that when it comes to RP…._

I stepped into the shower and turned on the water to the hottest setting. (I had always loved the burning feeling of the scalding water on my body—very soothing.) I pulled back the curtain and noticed that there was a clear strip of plastic in the curtain stretching from the top of my head down to the beginning of my collarbone so that I could see out and into the rest of the bathroom…_or so someone can see in…_

_WOAH! _I jumped at that thought. "That's a creepy thought." I could just imagine some freak guy standing there peering into the shower…it _really _freaked me out.

I shook my head and thought back in my mind to the first time I had ever role played with, of course, Nahuel. He _was _the only other guy I had had sex with and—jerk, or no jerk—he was pretty, damn good at it.

The scene was that Nahuel was a random—not so random—football player, and I was the sexy, little cheer skank that the whole football team wanted to score with. Nahuel had even snagged an old cheer uniform from Forks high and I had "performed my routine" for him without even _bothering _to think that maybe—just _maybe—_it wasn't just some "old cheer uniform"…

_Know what? _I asked myself. _I bet that was some_ whore's_ uniform that he had snagged as a trophy for fucking her. _

I shuddered and began lathering on shampoo into my hair.

My eyes were closed, so I couldn't see whoever walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

I smiled and continued on with my hair. "Are they all gone?" I asked.

"Naw. Everyone's still here, beautiful."

My eyes snapped open _just _in time for me to see Collin whip it out over the toilet.

I turned my head so fast that I _swore _that I gave myself whiplash. "What the _hell _are you doing in here?" I nearly gagged.

"Well this _is _a bathroom." He said, and I saw him shrug in the corner of my eye. "I came to…um…relieve myself."

I mouthed to myself, "What the fuck…" and rinsed the suds out of my hair.

"So," He said flushing the toilet and putting…himself back into his pants. He walked over to the sink, defogged the mirror with his hands, and glanced back at me in the mirror. "You ask him?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "It doesn't matter, Collin. I _love_ him—and _no one _can change that."

He chuckled. "So, in other words, he didn't tell you."

It wasn't a question but I answered it anyway, because I didn't like the way he just _assumed _that he knew everything…_teenagers…._

I sighed and gave in. "Yeah."

He chuckled again and dried his hands. He turned around and leaned against the vanity counter. "Figures." He said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him cocking my head to the side.

"It means that Jacob's a pussy."

My mouth dropped. "You have no right to say that about him. You don't know him—"

"Please." He scoffed. "I know him a lot better than you think I do. Get your facts straight before you go off on me about your little boyfriend."

I rolled my eyes and mumbled, "It's not your place, Collin." I sighed while rinsing off the mixed-berry body wash I had applied to my body. "So just drop it."

"Whatever." He said as he scratched right beside his left temple where he held an eyebrow piercing.

I studied it for a moment. "How many of those do you have?" I asked him.

"Piercings?" He questioned and I nodded. "Five in my left ear and six in my right." He touched his tongue. "One here and one there." He pointed then to his brow. He lifted up his shirt and flicked a nipple ring—also exposing a tattoo above the same pec that read "Mike"…I decided that I would mention that later to him. He moved his hands lower and reached his belt, beginning to unbuckling it. "And a _final _in a _very _naughty place—"

"Don't you do it!" I said turning my head quickly. "Put your penis _back _inyour_ pants."_

He laughed and mumbled, "That's what she said."

I laughed for a brief second. "I believe it." I moved my gaze back to him cautiously. "Didn't that hurt at _all?"_

He laughed once without humor. "Fuck yeah, it hurt. Hurt like shit. I thought my dick was gonna fall off. I couldn't masturbate—"

"Shutup!" I said shaking my head. "I don't want to know your little problems."

He laughed. "_Little…"_

I rolled my eyes and turned off the shower. I pointed to behind him at my towel. "Hand me that, will ya?" I asked him ringing out my hair.

He looked at the towel and then smirked. "You want it?" He asked picking it up. "Come and get it." He waved it at me.

"You twisted bastard." I shook my head with another laugh. "If you don't think I will rip every single _one _of your piercings out in the middle of the night…"

He laughed at me. "Okay, I'm willing to compromise." He said tossing the towel down onto the floor a few in front of the shower. "I'm meeting you halfway…literally. So, come and get it, little girl."

"You twisted bastard." I repeated. "And it's not called compromise…it's called coercion."

He laughed again and walked to pick it up. "I'm just kidding with you, Renesmee…Here." He said stretching it out to wrap around me. I stared at it and then at him. "I'll close my eyes—I promise."

I gave a noise of total exhaustion and only a _slight _bit of amusement as I grabbed the towel out of his hands. He laughed and I wrapped it around me in the shower. I pulled back the curtain.

"Dick." I said to him as I moved past him. He slapped my ass.

"Oh, sorry. My bad. Just a reflex." He said with a smirk.

"Yeah. So was this." I slapped him across the face…hard.

He touched his cheek. "That was a good one."

I smiled at him in a sarcastic manor. "That's what she said."

Just then the bathroom door opened up behind us. I turned to see Jake's face go from questioning to white-hot anger in under a second.

"What the fuck?" He asked, spacing his words out at Collin.

"Hey, Jake." I said tucking in the towel around the top of my chest. I leaned up on my tippy-toes and kissed his cheek. "I'm almost ready. I'll be out in a minute."

Jacob still hadn't taken his eyes off of Collin.

"And," Collin said, "I'll be out now." Then he nodded to me. "See you naked—I mean later." He smirked.

Collin backed out and ducked out of the opposite bathroom door to his room.

Jake looked down at me. "What the fuck?" He repeated.

I smiled at him. "Oh, please, Jake." I chuckled. "Don't you dare freak out. You know that I love you. Collin was just harassing me like a douche." I pulled him closer to me by his collar. "I love you."

A little distractedly, he said, "I love you, too."

I laughed at him. "You have absolutely _nothing _to worry about, 'kay?"

He laughed a little. "You're right." He kissed me.

I pushed against his chest towards the door. "Are they gone?"

"Yeah, they're all leaving now…" He said licking his lips and glancing down at me from head to toe. "Why don't we just skip the role play thing and just get down to the good stuff…?" He asked flipping a wet bunch of hair over my shoulder.

"Nope." I shook my head. "You're not _getting off _that easy."

He laughed. "Very clever."

"Thank you." I told him with a cheery smile. I kissed his cheek. "Now get out. I need to get dressed in my costume."

"Costume?" He asked with a raised brow.

"You don't think I can play as a teacher in jean shorts and a tank top, do you?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

I sighed. "Of course you don't." I laughed to myself. "This utterly shocks me. You have no idea how funny this is that you are so clueless about this. It's all improv."

"I never took drama class."

"Just wing it." I smiled and pushed him out of the bathroom. "I'll be out in a minute."

He bent to kiss me, but I placed a finger over his lips. "Not yet. Save that for later." I winked, closing the door behind him.

* * *

"_Ness_…" Jake whined outside the door. "Are you almost ready? You've been in there for forever."

I laughed as I took one final glance at myself in the mirror.

My hair was up in a tight ballerina bun and my eyes were rimmed in dark brown eyeliner. My lips were a deep shade of red—which, I would have to say, _totally _looked great in contrast with my pale skin. Covering my upper-half of my body was a white button-up t-shirt that I had borrowed from Jacob's luggage. I buttoned it down enough to expose my lacy-and-racy hot pink bra. I had tucked the white shirt into my very, _very _short mini-skirt—plaid mini-skirt. Very sexy.

I smiled and pulled up my white knee high socks and put on my strappy stilettos. I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

"Ness," Jacob said knocking on the door.

I pulled the door open and leaned against the frame. He stared at me in awe.

"You will refer to me as 'Miss Cullen'…" I smiled at him. "Not Ness."

He closed his mouth and swallowed. "Miss Cullen." He said. He scratched his head. "Who…_brings _this stuff to the _beach_?"

I smiled and stepped closer to him. I placed my hands on his collar and pulled him closer. "I do." I said biting my lip. "So," I continued as I pulled away, "here's what we're doing."

He nodded and then his gaze lowered down my body once. I pulled his chin to meet my gaze.

"Here's what we're doing," I repeated and he smirked. "Tonight, I'm a teacher. And _you_ are my student—my college student. The objective is to fulfill your student/teacher fantasies."

He shook his head. "How often do you do this?"

"The sex?" I asked cocking my head.

"The role play."

I shrugged. "To be honest, not enough." I took a step back and took in his attire. He was dressed "student-like", I guessed. He was in jeans and a black polo—my _favorite _shirt on him. I smiled and looked back into his eyes. "The basis of role play is to have fun and _not _be you. You're someone else. You can be whoever you want to be. Sort of like Halloween—only kinkier."

"What do I do?" He asked.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. "You sound like a virgin—I love it. This is so funny. I can't believe you've never done this. It's so…_fun,_ Jake."

He rolled his eyes. "What do I do?" He repeated.

"You just pretend you're a student—a _bad _student."

He waggled his eyebrows. "One that deserves to be punished?"

"Now you're talking." I smiled and touch my hands on his chest. "Pretend you're a bad student and I've called you after class because of an inappropriate outburst or something."

He smirked. "Regarding how fine your ass looks in that skirt…" He played with the hem of my skirt.

"Perfect." I clasped my hands together. "And remember, Jake, no matter how stupid it may sound—go with it. It's all a game." I kissed his cheek, wiping off the smudge of rep lipstick. "It's going to feel like a different world, but I think you'll like it."

He nods. "Alright."

I pointed to the bedroom door. "Start outside the door and be sure to follow your sexual instincts." I winked at him. "I'll take it easy on you—being it _is_ your first time and all."

He rolled his eyes and started towards the door.

* * *

_Knock, knock, knock…_

I looked up at Jacob standing outside the bedroom door—excuse me, the _classroom _door.

"You wanted to see me, Miss Cullen?" He said with a smirk.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Black." I said as I have a slight sigh. "Come on in." I motioned with one hand for him to enter the room. He stepped in, closing the door behind him. He took a seat on the bed; I stood a foot or two in front of him. "Do you know why?"

"Haven't a clue, ma'am." He continued with that damn smirk. "I've done nothing wrong." He gave a shrug. "I simply told you how attractive you looked in that attire."

I sighed again and shook my head. "Mr. Black, hasn't anyone ever told you the problems that could arise from flirting with a teacher?"

He licked his lips and took in my body with very slow-gazing eyes. "Sure, sure." He said in a distracted voice. He smiled. "But I've always been a bit…_rebellious." _He whispered the last word making me want to melt onto the floor.

I regained my composure and said, "I can see that." He looked at me through his lashes. "But you have a failing grade for the class day." I nodded to the door. "You can leave now."

"C'mon, Miss Cullen…" He stood up and stepped toward me. He reached for my arm but I pulled away. He chuckled but continued, "You don't mean it…You liked the attention…"

I scoffed. "You're a _student_."

"And you're beautiful." This time I let him get away with running a gentle finger up my arm. "Isn't there anything…" He moved behind me and whispered in my ear, "…_anything _that I can do for extra credit?"

I turned my head and he had out those adorable puppy dog eyes. I nearly laughed but thought not to. I removed his caressing hand and turned around to look at him completely.

"I am afraid that it doesn't work like that, Mr. Black." He wouldn't quit it with the eyes. He was so beautiful…

"Fine…" I sighed. "But _just _this once I'll give you a _C _for the day."

He smiled. "Thank you, Miss Cullen." And then, in a voice that sounded like pure sex, he said, "By the way, I'm not going to apologize for what I said to you in class…" He ran a hand down my hip to the short end of the skirt. "You _do _look very nice in this. It's a good look for you." He noted. "You should wear it more often."

I was the one smirking now. "I just might take that challenge…"

He gazed at me a moment, at my lips, and then moved back up to my eyes. I could sense him leaning closer to me. He reached a hand slowly to my cheek, and it looked like he was about to move his lips to my own, but instead he dove down to my neck making me gasp.

He sucked at the skin—biting, nipping, kissing.

"Mr. Black…" I moaned. "This needs to stop…." But my mind said differently.

He grunted and continued on.

"Please, a student could walk in—or a faculty member—"

"I think," He said between kisses, "it's okay to say that we're safe…Miss Cullen."

He stepped closer, closing the distance between our two bodies. He pulled away from my neck and moved up to my lips. One of my arms instantly circled around his neck, while the other pulled at the bun atop my head. I shook my hair down around my shoulders. He pulled back and took another quick look at me. He reached his hands up and ran his long, slender fingers through my hair.

He smiled and whispered, "You are so beautiful, Miss Cullen."

His hands snaked around my waist as he lifted me into the air and laid my body gently onto the bed.

"This is so wrong…" I told him with a moan as he palmed my breasts through my shirt.

"You don't believe that," He whispered.

My hands moved slowly to unbutton my shirt. I leaned up and threw it down to the floor. I pulled him closer to me. As we kissed, our tongues danced in an overtly erotic dance for dominance. I could feel his large, rough hands unclasping my bra.

"I don't…" I said kissing him. "But my conscience does."

"Screw your conscience." He said pulling his shirt over his head.

I slid my hands down his perfectly chiseled chest stopping before I touched the scar on his hip. I looked back at him.

He pulled one of my arms above my head and leaned down to glide his tongue down my stomach. I moaned when his fingers slid under my skirt to touch my most sensitive of areas over the thin fabric of my underwear.

I reached down and pulled his hand away. "Not yet." I looked him in the eyes. "You have to _earn _to be my top student."

I pushed him off of me and sat up. He was sitting on the bed normally so I straddled his waist. I rubbed my chest against his and he groaned as my lower half brushed against the hard bulge that was constricting in his jeans.

He placed both of his massive hands on either side of my hips and began to move me against him roughly.

"Oh, yeah, Mr. Black…" I moaned out. "That feels so good…"

After a few moments, I couldn't stand it anymore. My hands couldn't seem to move fast enough to the button on his jeans. I stood up and pulled him up by the loops and he slid them down his legs along with his boxers. Now, fully exposed, I pushed Jacob back down onto the bed.

I stood in front of him and slowly pulled my skirt and panties down. Listening to his groaning was just like music to my ears. I had never heard anything so…_damn sexy… _

I was only turned on more by seeing his long, thick cock standing straight up in the air like a flagpole.

I stepped closer to him and opened my legs to either side of his waist. He let out a long, constricted groan as I slid onto his cock.

Feeling Jacob inside of me did crazy things to my brain. So many things flew through my mind in that one moment of that beginning connection. I couldn't stop—nor _want _to stop—the heart clenching moans that escaped from my throat.

"You're _such _a special student…" I moaned out even louder than any of the other moans I had ever given.

His hands instinctively flew to my hips. I could feel him slowly edging them towards my ass. I didn't stop him. He grabbed at it roughly and I slid up and down his dick slowly, riding him for a while as I clenched my muscles around him.

He grunted. "Oh…_God!" _He threw his head back and then quickly looked back up at me. I leaned down and rubbed my chest against his. I scraped my nails along his rock-hard abs and smiled at him through my lashes deviously.

"You're teasing me, Miss Cullen." Jacob said through clenched teeth followed by another grunt. "You—"

I placed a finger against his lips. "Shut up, Mr. Black." I giggled a little.

Before he could say something through my finger, I began grinding him faster, harder, more intense. His hips were bucking against mine. Our skin was making a sickeningly delicious slapping sound. After a few rough minutes of this, Jacob groaned. "Miss Cullen, I don't think I can hold on much longer."

Breathlessly, I said, "If you want to pass this class you can."

I smirked at his sweaty face and then began to allow him to take over.

He had no problem with this. We simply—rougly—rolled over so that I was on my back. With a long, slender finger he reached down and rubbed it against my clit. I moaned loudly. His plunging fiercely in and out was killing me…

"Jacob—" I screamed. "I'm about to-to—"

I hadn't realized that he had been keeping his orgasm so bottled up inside, because when I came, he came with the loudest scream of pleasure I had ever heard from him. I could hear us shouting in unison and it felt _so fucking amazing _when Jacob released his seed inside of my body!

I couldn't help but laugh quietly.

"What?" He sighed long and low, in a tiredly manner, as he pulled out of me.

In a rough voice I told him, "Nothing. You get an _A-plus _for the day."

He chuckled that _damn, sexy_ throaty chuckle that made me melt into a pile of goo. "End scene?" He asked collapsing beside me.

I nodded and rolled over to lay on his chest. "End scene."

***Sooooo that's what you guys were waiting for...Hope you liked it! Review!**


	14. Son Of A Beach

***Heyyyyyy! So I am trying to update on a more scheduled basis. Hence my shockingly quick update...That COULD be a record for me! **

***I'm pumped for you guys to read this chapter! It has a TON of info that you'll need to check up on for FUTURE chapters, which is AMAZINGLY awesome to me. It has icky Leah/Nahuel plot and juicy Collin/Jacob/Nessie plot (And NO, pervs, it isn't a three-some ;))**

***I want to thank _Polly2010 _for reading and reviewing EVERY chapter as it was being read. You are TOTALLY rocking! It was awesome getting an email, like, EVERY ten minutes until you finished! So THANK YOU for that!**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

* * *

**Chasing****Perfection**

**Ch. 14: Son of a Beach**

"Thanks for that, baby." Leah said licking her lips. "I really needed it."

"Whatever." Nahuel said putting on his navy sports-coat. "Just be out of my room before I get back."

Leah sighed as she sat up in the bed, a sheet covering her frame. "Where are you going?"

"I have to meet a few dealers." He shrugged and examined his appearance in the mirror. He combed through his black hair with his fingers.

"Dealers?" She asked cautiously.

"Drug dealers." He said as if it were obvious. He watches her stare at him dumbfounded. He snorted. "What? You don't do drugs."

"No."

He snorted again. "Shocking...That's very difficult to believe."

"I just…I know too many people that are or have been screwed up on drugs. My ex…he was really, _really _messed up on them at one point. I've learned not to be a part of that."

In a vicious voice, Nahuel said, "Are you calling me screwed up?"

Leah jumped while gasping quietly. "N-no." She was quite literally shaking.

He glared at her a few seconds and then laughed. "Ha-ha. I was just kidding. You should have seen the look on your face." He went back to adjusting his tie in the mirror. "Do I scare you?"

She quivered. "It depends on what you say…and how you say it."

He smirked at his reflection. "Good."

She cleared her throat. "So…how was I last night?"

He chuckled. "I'm going to be frank for a moment. You aren't as fun as my girlfriend is."

"Ex-girlfriend." She folded her arms. "Because she's moved onto that tire salesman."

He rolled his eyes and headed to the door. "Just be out of my room before I get back."

"Whatever." She said as he shut the door.

She looked over at the nightstand yawning. She saw his Blackberry sitting there. "Ugh, Nahuel." She called out before getting out of the bed. She grabbed her dress from the floor and slid it on real quick. That's when the phone started ringing.

She sighed and picked it up and read the caller ID. "Demetri." She read. She shrugged and decided to answer.

"Hello?"

_Who is this?, _The deep voice on the opposite end answered.

"My name's Leah. Um, Nahuel left his phone with me."

_Nahuel left the phone in your protection? _He asked.

"Um…Yeah, sure." She shrugged.

_Will you tell him something for me?_

She nodded. "Sure."

_Tell him that I agree to the job. _He paused a moment. _And tell him that this is a suicide mission on my part._

She crumpled her brows. "Suicide mission?"

_Yes. And let him know—_

Leah was thrown to the floor in an instant.

"Who told you that you could answer my phone?" Nahuel screamed down at her.

She was clutching the shoulder that she had landed on. "Ow! It rang; I answered it! _Ouch!" _

He reached down and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" He growled, still glaring down at Leah. She was fighting back tears of pain in her eyes. She could hear Demetri's voice, but didn't understand what he was saying.

"I don't care, Demetri." Nahuel told him. "Your boss told me that you were the best. _Are_ you the best?" A pause. "That's what I thought. If you are the best, then you are the strongest." Another pause. "Then you _will _make it out. Goodbye, Demetri." Then, with piercing eyes, he stared at Leah. "I have my _own _business to take care of."

He snapped the phone shut and threw it across the room. It smashed against the wall into several different pieces.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked, kneeling down in front of her. He tapped his chin. "Oh, I think I know…" He grabbed her by her hair pulling her up to her feet. Her screams were piercing. He backhanded her across the face. "Shut up or I _will _kill you."

She clamped her shut and touched her cheek with her palm. She was shaking even harder than before.

God, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

**N-POV**

"Nessie!" Levi squealed at me. "Is ya coming to the beege wit' us?"

I laughed. "Of _course _I am!"

"Yay!" He clapped his hands. "Me an' Allie are gonna make a sandcassle!"

"Ooh!" I smiled. "That sounds like fun." I sat on the barstool in the kitchen. "I just have to wait on your Uncle Jake to stop getting all prettied up for the beach…" I said it loud enough to echo up the stairs as he came down them.

"There's nothing wrong with being pretty," Jacob said walking into the kitchen. He picked up Levi and swung him onto his hip. "Right, Levi?"

Levi scratched his head. "I think you're turnin' into a yucky girl, Unca Jake."

Jacob laughed and put him down. "Go get your sunscreen on, you little monster."

"'Kay!" He said cheerily and disappeared towards the direction of his bedroom.

I stood up. "Should I have anything to worry about? You know…" I wrapped my arms around him. "…since you're turning into a yucky girl?"

He smiled. "No, you have nothing to worry about."

I shrugged. "I'd probably still date you." His eyebrows rose at me. I poked his chest. "And try not to envision the girl-on-girl action going on in your mind right now."

He chuckled. "You caught me." He said simply.

"No." I laughed. "You're just predictable."

"No," he retorted, "I'm just a guy."

"Like I said," I whispered, "pre-_DICK_-table…"

He laughed. "Wow! That was pretty clever."

I laughed with him. "I know, right?"

I kissed him.

"I love you." He said pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smiled. "I love you, also, Jake." I pulled back and looked at my man.

He was wearing plaid Billabong shorts and a sexy wife beater that hugged his muscular body deliciously.

"Damn…" I nearly moaned. "You are so hot."

"Speak for yourself…" He said glancing down at me.

"I'm back!" We looked down at Levi walking into the room. "Miss me?"

Jacob laughed at him. "Of _course _we missed you. It's not fun without you around."

"Oh, I know." The three-year-old said cockily. "You guys ready?"

I laughed. "Yes, we're ready, Levi."

"Cool. Let's go." He said and started towards the back door, his towel dragging the ground behind him like a little tail.

Jake and I held hands and walked out the door behind him.

* * *

**J-POV**

"She sure is something, Jake." Jared remarked as we watched the beach football game before us. It was Ness, Allie, and Brady against Seth, Collin, and Levi for the win.

"Yeah," Paul nodded. "Someone sure got lucky." He snorted and muttered to Embry. "And apparently in more ways than one."

They laughed and I rolled my eyes. "Give it a rest, Paul."

"Uh-oh," Embry laughed to Paul. "That means she's _great_."

"C'mon, man." Jared nudged me in the ribs. "Give us some details."

I watched Nessie throw the football to Brady. Perfect spiral. _Damn…_

I smiled. "She's perfect." I told them. "She's beautiful and talented. She knows what she's doing, _that's _for sure."

"Oh," Paul snorted. "And you also forgot to mention that she's got your balls in her purse."

I kicked sand at him. "No, she doesn't. I have them and no one's gonna take 'em."

"Too late." They laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, it looks like you've got some competition." Jared pointed in Nessie's direction.

I looked up and saw Collin's arms wrapped around Nessie's chest, trying to get the ball from her. His was tickling her sides causing her to laugh. It made me so mad.

I jumped up only to be pulled back down by the guys. "Don't worry about it, Jake." Embry said. "It's innocent."

"Like _hell _it is." I said as I stood up, shaking off the sand from my ass. I started towards them.

"I'm taking you down." Seth called out to Brady and his teammates.

Brady made a faux shocked expression. "Right here? On the beach?" He laughed and gave a quick wink. "How naughty of you, Seth."

I started towards Nessie. "Hey, baby." I called out.

She looked up with a red face from laughter. Collin stepped back and let go. She looked at him and then ran over to me. I couldn't help but stare at her breasts as they bounced up and down in that damn purple polka-dot bikini.

"What's up, Jake?" She smiled up at me.

I scratched my head. I wasn't about to tell her that a bastard named jealously moved my legs to where I was now.

"Uh…" I grabbed her hand. "Take a walk with me?"

She smiled. "Sure, sure." She looked back at her team as they watched us. "Sorry, guys. I'll play later."

They all nodded and started back with their game. I noticed Collin's eye following us, so I put my arm around Nessie's shoulder. _Mark the territory._

"Was there a reason for this?" Nessie asked when we were already a good ways down the beach from everyone. She leaned into my chest.

I shook my head. "Not really. I just wanted to spend some time with you."

She laughed. "As if last night wasn't enough."

I smiled. "Last night was great."

"Yeah. It really was."

It was quiet then. It wasn't an _awkward _quiet. Just a peaceful quiet as the waves crashed against the shores and the seagulls flew above our heads.

"Hey, Jake," She said quietly. "Why do you hate Collin so much?"

I didn't really respond…at all.

She sighed. "I mean, you _really _don't like him. He's a really nice guy. I mean, a little pervy and juvenile sometimes, but he really is cool."

"Why do like him so much?" I retorted. She jumped. I must've said it too harshly without meaning to. "Sorry."

She stopped walking a moment and reached up to take my face in between her hands. "Jake…" She sighed. "There is _nothing _there. I swear to Ghandi, Jacob. Nothing."

I licked my lips absentmindedly. "To you, maybe."

She started walking again. "Don't worry about it, honeybee."

"That's the same thing the guys told me." I muttered.

"Then maybe you should listen to your friends then." She kissed my hand. I started back walking again. Well…more like _following _her. Because anywhere that girl went, I would go. No questions asked. I'd be there.

She squeezed my hand. "I want to know the real Jacob."

"I am the real Jacob." I said.

"No," She shook her head. "Then…I want to know the _old _Jacob. The one that was stabbed. The one that was arrested."

I shook my head. "Absolutely not. You will _never_ know Old Jacob."

"Why?"

"Because _I _don't even know Old Jacob. I don't _want _to know who he was. Why can't you just be content with knowing me? _New _Jacob."

"Collin said—"

"I don't give a _fuck _what Collin Newton has to say."

She backed down. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"If Collin jumped off of a cliff, would you follow him?"

She looked at the ground and then back up to me. "That depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Did you jump before Collin? Because that's the only way I would follow him off that cliff."

I sighed. "I'm sorry." I whispered gathering her in my arms. "I am being _such _an asshole today. I just don't like seeing his arms around you like they were."

She shook her head. "So you won't tell me _anything _about Old Jacob?"

"I'll tell you this…If I were still Old Jacob, then I wouldn't be dating you right now."

She stopped walking again. "Define that, please."

"We…wouldn't be together…?" I said dumbly.

"No, what does that mean? We wouldn't be together? Are you calling me a bitch?"

She stared at me with practically the most serious face I had ever seen on her.

"What? No!" I shook my head at her. "I am _not _calling you that. You're reading between the lines—"

"Jacob." She scoffed. "I am a _girl. _I _read _between the _lines."_

I was still shaking my head at her; it felt like it was going to pop off. "Baby, calm down and listen."

She crossed her arms. "I'm listening."

"I'm just saying that—our social circles. I wasn't able to get past them then. I wouldn't have dated a rich girl that thought she knew everything. One that buys everything with Daddy's money and has parties on her family's expensive yacht…" I trailed off when I noticed how low her jaw was dropped to the ground.

"You _are _calling me a bitch."

"No, baby, I'm not—"

"You think that I think that I know everything and just _waste _all of my father's money on stupid, pointless things and that I _party _with my white-collared friends?

"No, I _know _you don't do that—"

"Then why'd you say it?"

"Ness, you're being ridiculous—"

"No!" She jabbed a finger into my chest. "_You're _being ridiculous."

"No—I'm being _realistic." There you go, Jake, make it worse._

She turned and stormed off back towards the beach house.

"_Dammit_!" I kicked the sand where I was standing.

I collapsed there on the ground for a while. I don't know how long it was. It was long enough for the water to reach my knees as I sat in the sand and for the sun to set.

"There you are." I looked up to see Seth. "Everyone was wondering where you were. Ness disappeared up into the beach house hours ago and we thought she killed you by the look on her face."

I put my head in my hands. "Ugh. I _wish _she had killed me. It definitely would've been less painful."

"What'd you do?"

I sighed and looked at the waves crashing around us.

"Have you ever put your foot in your mouth?"

He sat down beside me. "I'm going to assume you do not mean that literally."

I nodded. "You assume correctly."

"What'd you do?" He asked again.

I pulled my hair. "Nessie thinks that I called her a bitch."

"Yikes." He said. "Well, why does she think that?"

"Because I kinda did without meaning to."

"Sorry, man. Why don't you just find her and talk to her?"

"Because I…I don't know…I mean, _I _know I didn't mean it that way but—"

"But _she _doesn't know that. She's a girl. She reads between the lines."

"I _told _her that she was doing that—"

"You _told _her that?" His eyes widened.

"Yeah."

"So, that's a total of _two _feet in your mouth?"

I rolled my eyes. "I guess so."

"Well, give her a little while longer to cool so she'll listen then go talk to her."

I sighed as he started walking off leaving me to wallow in my dumbass stupidity.

* * *

**R-POV**

Right after I stormed the beach, I made a new best friend.

The floor of the bathroom on the upper level of the beach house.

Yes, I had been sitting there for over two hours, bawling my eyes out. It was stupid to cry, pointless even…and _so _damn cliché—I fucking hate clichés. And I also get a little pissed off when I'm upset or frustrated or _whatever _the hell I was. I wasn't happy, that's for sure.

I mean, he didn't really flat out _call _me a bitch. He just kind of…beat around the bush. I shouldn't be so worked up about it. It's not like it's a secret. I _know _I can be a bitch sometimes…a _lot _of times, but I at least _try _and control it to the best of my abilities…and I whip it out when someone needs an ass-kicking.

A knock at the bathroom door pulled me away from my internal rant.

I wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Jacob." I said hoarsely. "Go away—I don't want to see you—"

"It's not Jacob."

I sighed. _Collin._

"Yeah," I sniffed. "I sure as hell want to see _you."_

I could hear his huff of a sigh through the door. "I'm coming in whether you're decent or not."

He opened the door. I didn't make eye contact with him as he stared at me as I was just lying there.

"Holy Hell. You look like shit."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks. Get out."

I could see him shake his head in the corner of my eye. "Naw, I'm good." He moved to sit on the tile beside me. "Renesmee…" He said quietly. He reached over and stroked my cheek. I jerked away. He sighed. "Ya know, I'm genuinely concerned about you—"

"Screw you." I slid away from him. "Can't you just get out?"

He sighed again. His presence was irritating me. I was about to snap at him again, but then he said—

"Did he hurt you?"

I turned and stared at him. "No…"

"That wasn't very convincing—"

"No, he did not hurt me." I said harshly and then backed down. "At least…Not the way you're thinking."

He touched my cheek causing me to wince. My injury was still a little sore.

"You know…" He pulled his hand away. "There's this unanswered question hovering around the house, because everyone's afraid to bring it up."

"About me?" I asked.

He nodded. "And Black."

"What about us?" I asked him in a dull voice.

"Not much." He shrugged. "It's just strange that you have this mysterious scratch mark on your face—"

"Jacob did _not _hurt me!" I nearly screamed.

He put his hands up. "I never said—"

"You're _insinuating _it, though." I growled. After a few moments of silence I sighed. "Why does it matter to you, Collin? Why the hell does Jacob and my relationship bother you so much?"

"Because I hate him." He said bluntly. "He doesn't deserve you."

"Why?" I shook my head at him. "Why do you hate him? What did he do to you—"

"Not to me." He swallowed.

_Ugh! _

"Then _tell _me! Stop being all dramatic." I crossed my arms across my chest.

"Sorry. Just forget it." He started to get up; I pulled him back down.

"No. You opened this door," I stared him in the eyes. "Now you have to close it."

He sighed; he was thinking to himself. He hesitated, "Um, I…uh, er…I—"

"Collin." I rolled my eyes. "Please, just spit it out."

"My brother…" He said slowly, "He died."

I stared at him. "That's not even funny, Collin—"

"I'm being serious." He shook his head and licked his lips. "He died before I was born. So, I never met him. I knew all along that I hadn't always been an only child…" He sighed. "It just hit me real hard a year ago that…I had a _brother. _There was someone that could've potentially been my best friend and worst enemy. So I started digging deeper into what happened…and now the truth makes everything else seem like a lie."

"What does that mean?"

He sighed and allowed a smile to escape his lips. The smile didn't seem genuine; it looked forced. "Don't worry about it."

"Collin—"

"Renesmee…" He clucked his tongue for a moment and continued. "As much as I want to tear you and Jacob apart, I can't will myself to do it."

I shook my head. "Collin, I don't understand—"

And then he kissed me.

* * *

***OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...I can practically HEAR your inhales of SHOCK! Thanks for reading! **

***ALSO: I heard some AWESOME news on the tv the other week about Elizabeth Reaser reading fanfiction. (For those of you who aren't familiar with her, she plays Esme Cullen in The Twilight Saga.) Soooooooooo I think that if anyone out there reading this story knows her, you should direct her here. To my story. To my profile. To my Twitter (*cough* Nessie23Black *cough*). That would be awesome...like REALLY awesome...AWESOME!**

***Annnnnnddddd I found this AMAZING chick on YouTube. Her name is Christina Grimmie. I found her, like, a month or two ago...and NOW she is opening for Selena Gomez. I hope that girl makes it big in the industry and you guys should REALLY check out her videos. Annnnnnnnd an AWESOME guy named Toby Turner. he is HILARIOUS and will make you die from laughter.**

***So again thank you for reading and "BLESS YO FACE! If you've sneezed during this _story, _then BLESS YOU!" ~Toby Turner...(Told you he was funny)**

**LATER MOSUCKRAS! :D REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW!**


	15. FML

***Okay, so writing this chapter nearly KILLED me…During the first half, I was going through a breakup and it kinda was REALLY difficult to write, but I did and I overcame the problem (he and I back together now haha)…And you guys are going to HATE me because of this chapter, but…I had to do it.**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS (ULTIMATETWIHARD513, MOSTLY.)…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH…**

* * *

**Chasing****Perfection **

**Last time on Chasing Perfection:**

He sighed and allowed a smile to escape his lips. The smile didn't seem genuine; it looked forced. "Don't worry about it."

"Collin—"

"Renesmee…" He clucked his tongue for a moment and continued. "As much as I want to tear you and Jacob apart, I can't will myself to do it."

I shook my head. "Collin, I don't understand—"

And then he kissed me.

**Ch. 15: FML**

**N-POV**

The lips pressed against my own were soft…_So soft. _

They were like rose petals and on the corners of my mouth I felt the thorns from his viper bites.

I was lost in this feeling. But I'm not sure I could categorize this as a "feeling" per se, because for it to be a "feeling" I would need to _feel _something…_Okay, my inner babble can shut up now._

_Push yourself away from him, Nessie. _I thought. _You KNOW this guy isn't Jacob. He's not the one you love. LET GO!_

Then I did it.

I forced my eyes open. I untangled my fingers from his hair and stared at him in shock.

"I-I-I have to-to go." I jumped up as fast as I could and ran into the bedroom I was staying in. I slammed the door shut behind me. I crumpled down onto the bed and began crying for an entirely different reason than before.

* * *

After a while of wallowing in my whore-ness, I heard the door slide open.

"Ness…" Jacob's voiced crept through the room softly.

He walked over and sat by my side. He ran a hand down my cheek. "I'm sorry, honey." He said quietly looking into my stinging red eyes.

"No, no." I shook my head with a sigh. "It's fine. We can just forget it ever happened. I was being difficult."

He peered down at me with confusion in his eyes. "Why was that so easy?"

I shook my head quickly. "I don't want to fight with you. I love you too much to lose you."

He nodded slowly and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "I'm so sorry, baby—"

"Please…." I said softly. "Stop saying that."

I heard him say, "Okay," right before I closed my eyes and an angry sleep pulled me under.

* * *

**J-POV**

"I love you…." I said to Nessie, but she was already asleep. I pulled the covers to her chest and gave her one last kiss on her cheek before heading out of the room.

I went downstairs and met Sam out on the deck. He was sitting on a chair looking out at the ocean. I took the seat beside him. He looked up at me with a slight smile.

"Well, hello, Jake." He said.

"Hey, Sam," I said back.

And that was it. For about ten minutes we sat in silence, and then Sam looked over at me and said: "When are you going to tell her about Bella?"

I cleared my throat and sat higher in my chair. "Nothing happened with Bella."

He scoffed. "_Everything _happened with Bella."

"_Okay…_then nothing she should _worry _about happened with Bella."

He sighed and gave me a disapproving look. "You can't hide it forever, Jacob."

"I know that…." I paused and then said slowly. "She's already asking questions…about Juvi. I'm…not quite ready for that skeleton to come out of the closet yet."

"Why, though?" He asked. "Why aren't you ready?"

I shrugged. "Because she'll leave. I know she will."

"You love her, don't ya?"

"You know I do, Sam."

"And she loves you?"

"She says she does—"

"Then why do you believe that she will leave you?"

"Because…Because I don't know."

"Tell her, Jake." He said leaning closer to me. "Tell her. That's too big of a secret to keep from the girl you love."

"Sam!" Emily's voice called sweetly from inside the house. "Can you come here a moment? I need your help with something in the kitchen."

"Coming!" He yelled back to her. He stood and before he turned to leave he patted me on the back. "Tell Nessie."

_Tell Nessie…_

The words were on constant repeat in my head long after I had been left alone on the deck.

The sun was setting and the clouds seemed to be drifting lower and lower to the sea. Nothing could've have been more beautiful—

"Jake…" Her soft voice said.

_I thought too soon…_

I looked up at my beautiful girl whose hair was scattered around her face and blowing gently in the soft breeze. I held out my arms and she wrapped herself in them.

Sitting on my lap she said, "Hey."

One word. It made me feel like both an outsider and a native to her heart. This girl melted my heart and made me forget the world around us…with just one word.

"Hey…." I said back to her. I couldn't make eye contact just yet; I was contemplating telling her….but I decided to wait. There's always another time…_Always. _

She turned my chin towards her face with her soft fingers. She studied my face a moment.

"You seem strangely distant today…Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head because my lips couldn't form the words I wanted to say…_The truth that I had been hiding for so long._

She kissed my cheek. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, also, beautiful." I kissed her lips.

When I pulled away she smiled slightly to herself. "I love it when you say that…"

"I love saying it." I smiled back at her.

She gave a sigh of contentment and laid her against my chest.

We stayed there until the orange sun slipped down into the water too far away for us to see.

_Another time, _I thought. _Always another time…_

* * *

The next few days kinda passed in a blur. I mean, I was _there, _except I wasn't. My mind was elsewhere _constantly._ I was always thinking: "_Today! Tell her today, Jake! Be a man and TELL HER!"_ But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it. Part of me screamed, "_She'll understand! Just tell her!" _ While the other part shouted, _"Don't you do it. She'll leave you. You'll never see her again. She'll pack up and head back to Washington."_

So I listened to the shouting part by keeping my mouth shut and watching the rest of the world in a haze.

But my mind wasn't _entirely _fogged up enough not to notice Nessie avoiding Collin like…_to be cliché..._the plague. I wondered to myself why that was until today….

"I'll meet ya upstairs, Jake." Nessie winked at me as she wrapped a towel around her sexy body after a long day at the beach. She blew me a kiss and began up the stairs and into the house.

I let my eyes linger on her backside as she walked every step until she was out of my sight.

_Damn…I'm one lucky bastard._

I had stayed down for a sec or two to put up the boogie boards and skimmers. Just then, like a dog, I felt someone shake their wet hair all over me.

"Gah," I shuddered as I looked up to see Collin standing there chuckling. "Stop it, man. Grow up."

He rolled his eyes. "Geeze, dude. Why don't you_ loosen _up?" He coughed twice and I _barely _heard the "Like your girlfriend" in between.

I threw down the boogie board I had been rinsing off. "Excuse me?" I growled at him.

He smirked and then shrugged. "I didn't say nothin'."

I stared him down as he placed a towel behind his neck. "Just next time you see Renesmee…" He scratched his chin. "Ask her who the better kisser is."

"What—" I stepped forward; our chests were touching.

"And _THEN _ask her if she's dreaming about my dick in her tight pussy—"

I couldn't stop what I did next as the white-hot fury flooded through me.

I lunged forward and pulled both sides of the towel around his neck to meet in the center, cutting off his air passage-ways and choking him. He was struggling against me—I even felt him punch me in the gut a few times.

"_JACOB! WHAT THE HELL?" _ I heard Nessie screaming as she ran down the stairs. "Get off! You're _HURTING HIM!" _She ran and tried to shove her little body in between us. She pushed against my chest until I let go. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out. Collin was on the floor with a dark-red face struggling for oxygen. Nessie was kneeling down at his side…_taking care of him._

I growled and she snapped her head up at me with a glare. "What the _hell _is wrong with you? You could have _killed _him!" She spat the words and caused me to cringe.

"Yeah," Collin coughed roughly. "_Murder _isn't something that looks good on a job application."

"Shut the fuck up, Newton." I growled starting towards him again. Ness stood and pushed me back.

"Who _are _you anymore? You're always yelling and shoving your fists down people's throats! I'm getting tired of it—"

"You didn't hear what he said—"

"I'm _sure _he didn't deserve to get nearly killed for it!" She kneeled down and inspected Collin again.

"He said to ask who the better kisser is." As soon as the words left my mouth she froze completely. I could almost _see _the chill bumps on her skin. "He's wrong, right Ness?" I asked. "You've never kissed him."

She stayed frozen staring at Collin. I pulled her gently by the arm up to her feet. I turned her face towards mine and said more sternly, "You've _never _kissed him, right?"

She pulled her eyes away from me and stared down at the ground.

"You're not denying it." I said in a broken voice. "You're supposed to deny it."

She looked up at me slowly with teary eyes. "Collin kissed me…But I didn't stop it."

I let out a noise of shock and disbelief. "What the fuck, Ness?" I started to back away slowly.

"No, Jake—I'm sorry—"

"Forget it." I said shaking my head. "I don't want to hear it."

I stalked away without looking back.

* * *

**N-POV**

I cried. A lot.

For the past two days, I had been sitting in Jacob's and my room. Never leaving. Never crossing paths with Jake. Not once.

You see, Jacob refused to sleep in the same room with me. He forced Brady to stay in my room, while he stayed on the floor by Seth's bed. Jake's remark for the switch: "At least I know you won't be doing anything with Brady."

My heart felt _terrible. _He hadn't even let me explain. He didn't know that Collin had sorta-kinda forced his lips against mine. He didn't know that I wanted so badly for it to be him.

I sighed tucking myself under the covers. "I didn't want it, Brady."

"Well, I think you should tie Jacob up and tell him that." He replied.

I looked over at him beside me in the bed. "Why do I need to tie him up exactly?"

Brady bit his lip and said shyly, "Sooo….he doesn't run away and stay sleeping with my boyfriend, of course."

I stared at him. "Of course." I rolled my eyes. "This whole thing is completely stupid. I _love _him. I don't want to screw that up. _EVER."_

Brady sighed. "Don't tell _me_, girl. _I _am the one that knows that. Everyone in this _house _knows that. Even _Collin _knows that you love you some Jake. He won't admit it though because he thinks he has a shot with you, but still."

I pulled the sheets over my head and sighed. "I hate this. _So _much."

"I know." Brady yawned. "Don't worry or you'll mess up that pretty little forehead of yours. Everything will work out. But right now we need our beauty sleep."

I _hated _when people just say that it will "workout". Yeah, it always does—but not necessarily for the better.

I sighed and yawned also. "Okay…Fine." I said closing my eyes. But no matter how long my eyes remained shut, I couldn't pull myself out of thought. I kept thinking about Jacob. _Everything _about Jacob.

I thought about his laugh…his sweet brown eyes…his smile…

A tear slipped silently and gently down the side of my cheek and into my hair when I thought about the disappointment on his face.

_That _was the thing that hurt the most. He wasn't just completely _angry,_ he was _disappointed. _And disappointment is _way _more killer than just being "angry". You see, disappointment makes you have all these crazy thoughts that you _never _would've imagined existed. Like…you start _regretting _every move you have made in this crazy game called "Life". When you regret, things get real and you can't believe that something that insane has happened.

I hated this. Absolutely _loathed _it.

* * *

My feet dragged beneath me the day we left the beach. We had packed all our stuff up and loaded it up in the Brady's Escape and nothing had changed between me and Jacob.

And now, I was being _forced _to sit in the backseat by Jacob on the way back to Aiken. At the moment, I honestly would have rather been shoving bamboo under my nails then sit in this agonizing silence for three hours.

_Shoot me now…._

Brady had pulled out of the beach house driveway _in silence_. He drove for forty minutes while holding Seth's hand _in silence_.

I looked over at Jacob. He was looking out his window…he didn't really have a facial expression as if he were "studying" something; it mostly looked like he just wanted to look every other place but at me.

_Surely there is SOMETHING you can say to him right now, _I thought.

So softly I said to him, "You're going to hurt your neck if you stay like that the whole ride…"

He flicked his head over to me for a moment and spat back. "Like you care."

I stared at him. "I _do _care—"

"Yeah, care enough to twist around that knife in my back." He growled.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You _know _I care about you. Why would you even say that?"

"Because good girlfriends wouldn't cheat around like whores—"

"HEY!" Seth screamed back at us. "Do not _make _come back there!"

We ignored him and I stared at Jacob with a quivering lip. "You jackass…I cannot believe you just said that to me."

I blinked back my tears and didn't look at him the rest of the car trip.

I barely saw the signs that told us we were getting closer to Aiken, but they were there. Little by little we were nearing Grandpa's and all I wanted to do when I got there was be a bum and sleep…and I'd definitely cry.

Gah, being a girl with so many freaking different emotions was tough. I mean, being a female in general is tough, but this…_this_ was _Hell. _

About thirty minutes later we arrived at Grandpa's. It was pouring down rain. I sighed and waited for Brady to pull the car to a complete stop. I sat there a moment and watched Seth get out. Brady unlatched the back so we could get our stuff out.

Jacob was asleep, Brady offered to wake him up, but I told him I would do it.

I reached a hesitant hand forward and pressed it gently on his knee. "Jacob…" I whispered. I tapped his knee. "We're home."

He yawned and opened his eyes groggily. He looked down at my hand on his knee and turned his leg away from my reach. I sighed and unbuckled my seatbelt. I got out of the car and walked to the back of the vehicle and got my suitcases out and held them above the muddy ground.

"I got those, Ness." Seth showed up and took them out of my grasp before I could argue. I watched as he and Brady walked through the front door.

I waited around, pretending to be doing something, when Jacob walked around the back of the car to get his stuff out. He didn't give me one look.

He picked up his bag and shut the trunk in my face.

I stood there and stayed looking at his impassive expression. "Jacob…." I said to him, but the rain drowned out my hopeless cry.

He started to his truck, which was parked out in front of the house. I touched my hand to his shoulder blade since his back was turned to me. For a moment I thought he was about to turn around, but he just stopped.

I stepped up and stood in his path and look at him. "Jacob," I said loud enough that I _knew _he could he hear me. He sighed and tore his eyes away from the ground and finally looked at me after what felt like a century.

I breathed out in a moment of relief. "Jacob, I love you, honeybee…I am so sorry…."

He opened his mouth to say something, and I waited, but nothing came out.

He walked over to his truck and threw his luggage in the pick-up bed, not caring that everything was getting soaked. Without looking back, he drove off and left me there in the rain.

"Hey Grandpa," I mumbled as I shook my hair out as I walked through the door. I looked around. I could hear footsteps down the hall in the living room, but other than that, it was quiet. "Grandpa?"

I walked a little ways and turned the corner into the living room. Grandpa was sitting in his recliner. Sue was on the love seat with Seth and Brady. They all had the same expression on their faces. A mixture of sorrow, and pity, and grief…

"What's wrong?" I asked slowly.

Sue stood up and pulled me to the couch. "Why don't you sit down, dearie."

I nodded. "Okay…? What's wrong?" I repeated.

Sue pet my hand, but it was Grandpa that spoke. He cleared his throat. "We got a phone call." I nodded once very cautiously. "It was about your friend…Bree Hart."

"Alright." I said calmly. "_Is_ everything alright?"

"Um," Grandpa cleared his throat again. I was so scared. My skin immediately burst into a cold sweat.

"What is wrong?" I said it more brutally.

Grandpa sighed and nodded to himself one slowly. "She and her little brother were in a car accident early this morning."

I gasped and my hand flew up to my mouth. "Oh, my god. Are they okay? Her parents must be terrified." I stood up and headed toward the phone. "I need to call them—"

"Ness…" Sue said quietly. I looked at her graven face. "They didn't—" She sniffed. "I'm so sorry."

I couldn't describe the noise that came from my lips. It was a cross between a cough and hiccup. "No." I whispered, shaking my head roughly. "No." I said again. I looked from Grandpa to Sue to Seth—who hadn't said one word so far. "No, no. NO!" I shouted. "You're _lying_!" I nearly collapsed onto the floor. Sue helped a hand out to help me or pull me back onto the couch or something—but I jerked away from her touch. "No! Stop!" I screamed at her. "You're all lying to me!"

Grandpa stood and walked toward me. "Liam, the little boy, he was gone on impact; he didn't feel a thing." I shook my head. "Bree passed before the ambulance made it to the hospital."

"No…" I whispered looking away from them and out the window into the rain. The full bearing of what was happening arrived…

_She's dead. Bree is DEAD… She's gone…_

* * *

***Yeah...I'm sorry about that...REVIEW!**


	16. C'est La Mort

***Hey, guys…I'm really sorry I haven't updated since, like, um, September, but I've had SO much going on since then...Also, yeah…I know you guys aren't happy with me about the last chapter you read…I simply did what had to be done. But…it'll be alright, guys. There is a reason for EVERYTHING. That means there is a reason for killing off two characters…and NO, this is not a soap opera, so do not expect me to be all like "BREE'S ALIVE!" in future chapters…**_**NOTHING **_**like that is happening. Hate me for it, but she and her baby brother are gone for plotlines.**

***I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS—I OWN THEIR EMOTIONS & THE PLOT LINES…**

***MOST OF THIS STORY—EVERYONE'S ACTIONS AND/OR SAYINGS—ARE BASED FROM REAL-LIFE INCIDENTS WITH MY REAL-LIFE FRIENDS…I'LL LET YOU GUESS WHICH EXPERIENCES I DEAL WITH ON A DAILY BASIS, THOUGH.**

**This chapter is dedicated to the song "C'est La Mort" by The Civil Wars. Check it out!**

* * *

**Chasing ****Perfection: C'est La Mort**

* * *

"No…." The word formed on my tongue and bubbled out through my lips.

"Ness," Grandpa breathed out. "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" I asked through a numb expression. "This isn't your fault…It's mine."

A tear slid down my cheek—or maybe it was a left over water droplet from the rain. The thunder boomed outside causing me to flinch a little.

"I-I…" I swallowed the thick lump growing in my throat. "I have to go…."

"Ness—" He said in a broken voice, but I was already heading back out the door.

I loped down the soaked driveway, the mud eerily sloshing around my feet dragged me down slowly—as if it were quicksand…I was drained. I'm sure my already pale face had been drawn out even more…I felt like a zombie—No, I take it back…I didn't feel at all. My heart constricted with pain and suffering…my best friend was gone.

_Gone…_

The word was on playback in my mind…Play, stop, repeat…And over and over and over.

I screamed at the top of my lungs and dropping to my knees, I clutched my arms close to my chest…The rain was like needles under my skin…On, _under_, it didn't really make a difference…

My heart was heavy…It weighed at least three-thousand pounds…But I willed myself to get up and face this…

Even though I'd be alone in the end; Jacob wouldn't want me…

_So what am I doing here…?_

I looked up at the red house…._Jake's _house.

Something inside me led me here…

"_I led you here…" Her _soft voice echoed around me, much softer than the pounding of the rain…nearly inaudible.

I sniffled and asked in a rough voice: "I thought I had gotten rid of you…"

I looked around…She wasn't _there, _I could just hear her.

"You did…But I'm back…" I heard a soft laugh.

_This is _NOT _a laughing time, _I thought.

"_Just when you need me…"_

I scoffed half-heartedly. "I have _never _needed you—and I never _will, _so just _stop _showing up here—"

The thunder boomed once more and the voice was out of my mind.

I sighed and reality began settling into my soul.

_She's gone. She's fucking gone._

I approached the door slowly with my hands across my chest, shivering from the rain's sudden coldness. I laid my fist against the door, took a deep breath and knocked with as much force as I could muster out.

He opened the door…and saw that it was me.

"Ness, don't do this." He rolled his eyes. "You know that I am not happy with you—"

I collapsed against his chest with a heaving sigh and the tears rolled down my face as they mixed together with the rain droplets.

"They-they're dead." I screamed and pounded my arms against his torso. "They're….Jake, they're gone…"

He froze. I could barely feel his heart pounding against my ear.

"Come in." He said in a quiet voice. He didn't question me.

He just let me cry it all out on his shirt….

* * *

**J-POV**

_Ring—ring—ring—ring—_

I couldn't get the damn phone to ring fast enough.

I turned slowly and looked back in my bedroom. I had given Ness a pair of my sweat pants and an old shirt to put on, and then I had lain her down in my bed.

I peered around the door and saw her sweet little sleeping face. But even in her sleep, her tears and sniffles stayed around.

"_Hello, Jake?" _Charlie answered in a stressed tone. "_Is she there? Where is she? She left here in such a terrible state—"_

"She's here." I said solemnly. "What happened to her? Why is she screaming that someone is dead?"

"_Her friend…"_ He breathed out. _"She and her little brother were killed in a car crash—"_

"Which friend?" I asked with a sharp breath.

"_Bree Hart and her brother…Um, Liam, I believe." _He sighed. _"How is she? Do I need to come get her—Seth said you guys aren't doing too well right now..." _

I was the one who sighed now. "She's sleeping. I just let her lay down a couple minutes ago…" I ran my hands through my hair anxiously. "Damn…that's terrible—Bree was so good to Nessie."

"_Great girl, that's for sure." _

I cleared my throat. "Um, I'll take care of her until she's feeling up to leaving. Is that okay with you, Charlie?"

"_Absolutely. And Jake?" _

"Sir?" I said.

"_Make sure she knows we're here for her and that we love her…I know it'll mean more coming from you."_

I sighed once more. "Will do, Charlie."

"_Take care. Talk to you later."_

"You too."

A second later the phone clicked and I once again heard the dial tone.

I set down it down on the table and walked into my bedroom. I lowered my eyes down to Nessie's sleeping face…So peaceful.

Her hair had been matted to her cheeks by tears, but she was still so beautiful.

I reached out and stroked her cheek with my finger, then recoiled at the thought that I haven't been the only man to feel that cheek lately…

I scoffed and started out to the kitchen.

_I would hardly classify Collin Newton and a _MAN, _but…._

Just the _thought _of that guy made me pissed off to no end.

My hatred for the Newton's _altogether _was absolutely shocking. I _hated _all of them. That whole family could burn in _Hell _for all I care about. They have never—nor _will_ they ever help me out.

Collin's dad had refused to step anywhere near BDA ever since I had started working there. He hates me as much as I hate him. Probably more.

_Impossible._

But still…he has his reasons—and I _definitely _have mine. I will _always _loathe that family for what that bastard Mike Newton did—

"Jake…?" I heard a broken voice say behind me.

I turned away from the refrigerator I had just opened and looked at her. She had a blanket wrapped around her tiny frame.

"Ness…" I stood up and took in the sight of her. Her eyes were red and puffier than they were before and her sniffles were even worse than before. But even now, seeing her at her absolute worst, she was still at her best.

"I can't sleep…" She sniffed. "I see them…I hear their laughter and voices in my mind…" A tear fell down her left cheek.

I sighed. _Oh, baby…. _I wanted to say, but just didn't.

"Come sit down." I stepped forward and gestured to the couch. She took a seat and started looking behind her and out the window. She curled up on the couch and watched the rain streak down the windows outside.

"I'm…I'm really sorry…" I said quietly, taking a seat in the recliner.

Then she whispered, "She's gone." She looked over at me and then back out the window. "My best friend is dead. And I will never see her ever again."

I stared at her as she grabbed her hair at the roots and screamed in frustration.

"Why?" She screamed in a high pitched voice. "Why, Jacob? Why did this happen to them? They were completely innocent!"

I sucked in a breath, because I could _feel _her pain. "I know, I know…"

I reached out and grabbed her in my arms. She pounded against my chest for a bit and then slowly the screams and sobs turned into mere sniffles as I cradled her against my chest.

Awhile later, she sucked up her tears and stood slowly. "I'm going to, um…I'm going back to Grandpa's now. He's probably worried sick—"

"I called him earlier. Told him you were here."

Without any emotion in her voice, she asked, "You did?"

I nodded once. "Yeah. I needed to know why you came here."

"I came here because…" She sniffled. "Because I don't even know…But I'm leaving now so I wont bother you."

She started to turn and walk towards the door, but I called out. "Ness." She froze. "Spend the night. Your clothes are soaked from the rain and I'm not letting you leave now and get sick. Spend the night. And I'm sure you don't want them all over you back at Charlie's."

"Really?" She asked, still without emotion. "You would spend the night in the same room as me?"

I hesitated and gave an idiot response. "I'll sleep on the couch."

She rolled her eyes. "Please, Jacob. Just get over it." She went into my room and shut the door.

I sighed and pulled my shirt over my head and through it on the ground. I left my jeans there with my shirt and walked to my dad's room for a blanket.

Dad sat upright in his bed watching television. I didn't pay attention to what it was, I just wanted the blanket and then to leave without him interrogating me too in depth.

"What's all that commotion out there?" _Here we go…_

"Ness is staying over tonight." I said as I grabbed the blanket from the top shelf of his closet.

"Oh." He smiled with the good side of his face. "So things are better now?"

"Not at all. Her best friend died today and she isn't taking it all too well."

His eyes widened. "Damn...I hate to hear that."

I nodded and ran my hands through my hair. "Do you need anything while I'm up?"

He chuckled a little. "Grandkids. But those can wait a little while longer I suppose."

I rolled my eyes.

"Fix this, Jake." My father said with all humor set aside. "She makes you happy—_much _happier than you were with Leah."

I sighed. "I know that, Dad."

"Fix it."

I stared at him chewing on my lip for a moment. "I will be on the couch if you need me."

"Fine." He said. "Goodnight, son. I love you."

I smiled at him a little before closing his door. "Love you too, Dad."

* * *

I laid there on the couch under my blanket and thought to myself, _Maybe I should forgive her. Or at least hear her out or something. I shouldn't give her such a hard time right now. She is going through way too much._

I stared at the clock on top of the fireplace. The hours dragged on and on. Nothing on the TV could stop me from remembering how close she was to me right now, physically, I meant.

Just as I close my eyes and I was finally settling into sleep, I heard her dainty footsteps inching out of the bedroom door.

"Jake…" She said in a hoarse voice. It made my heart quiver to see her like this.

Her eyes were puffy and streaked with black tears down her face from her mascara.

"Come sit down by me." I said.

In my baggiest of shirts that she wore, she came to the couch and collapsed next to me. She was quiet…I was quiet.

I ignored that large percent of my body telling me not to touch her because she was a dirty cheater, and put my arms around her shoulders. She rested her head against my chest. I covered the two of us under the blanket I had been using; her skin was like ice. She sighed.

"Jake…." She whined a little with a sniffle. She whispered almost inaudibly, "I'm scared…."

"Please, don't be." I said running my hand down her back. "What is there to be afraid of?"

"Death." She answered almost immediately. "I miss her. I miss _them. _It feels…like something has been ripped from my insides. I keep thinking, Bree's gone…She's gone and she's not coming back…" A tear slid down her cheek and fell onto my hand. "Liam's gone too." She looked up at me a moment and then down at her fingers in my lap. "He was gone first." She wiped away a tear. "He was _so _young…So _bold _in his actions…yet, so quiet with his words. He was _four. _He had spirit, and he had hope…He had it all. Had an _entire _life ahead of him." I looked at her and saw a ghostly smile on her face, barely able to be seen and then it was gone.

"I babysat him once when he was three." She said quietly. "He told me that he wanted to…" She swallowed. "He wanted to be president. He wanted a billion dollars. He wanted a _girlfriend_ so he could hold her hand. He was _three _and he already _knew _what he wanted. Why does shit happen like this, Jake? I hate it."

"I know…" I breathed out.

"Worst part of all…." She whispered, mostly to herself. "The last words I said to her…_Fuck you._" She scoffed. "FUCK. YOU." Her voice grew louder. "_Those _were the _last words _I said to my best friend. And now…" She laid her head in her hands. "She's dead."

"But it happened…for a reason—"

"Damn, Jacob. Do you _realize _how fucking cliché you sound—"

"Hey." I said evenly. "I _know _you don't want to hear that right now, but I'm serious. I don't know _what _reason it is. I can't answer that, but…" I sighed and changed the subject a little. "Sometimes…I think my mom was killed for some reason in particular. Whether it be that God hates me—which I know—He doesn't…Or maybe to get me back on the right path, I honestly don't know. It was like a wakeup call. Like, rise and shine, Jake, shit's not always about you. It still shakes me up and is forever a reminder of my past…I hate my mom had to die to get the message across."

"You really think there is a reason behind all this…" It wasn't a question but I answered anyway.

"Yes, ma'am. I really do."

"It's not fair…" More tears slid down her cheek. "I can't believe it. It doesn't feel…_real._ A dream…a nightmare." I whispered.

"I know the feeling…"

"Jake," I sighed. "Tell me everything will be perfectly fine."

He sighed too and was quiet a moment. "I can't do that, Ness."

"Why not?"

"Because," He spoke slowly. "it will neverbe _perfectly fine_. There will be those days where you're gonna want to rip out everyone's throats or times when you'll see someone on the street and wonder, 'is that them? The person that just runs and hides and gets away with it all?'"

I laughed humorlessly. "Does that feeling ever go away, Jacob?"

"Hard to say. My mom's been gone almost eleven years and I still want that sometimes. But after a while, you'll start thinking about how much of a better place she's in." He said. "But anyway…you'll find out a reason—whether it be tomorrow or twenty years from now…"

She huffed a little. "Twenty years from now…That seems so far away."

I nodded. "It does. Who _knows _what will have happened by then?"

"Maybe everything will be perfect by then." She said it so full of hope; I didn't shoot the thought down with my response.

"Maybe. I mean, that's always a possibility." I paused and sighed. "You should go to bed. It's getting late." I began to get up. She touched my arm gently.

"Jake?"

"Yeah?" I looked at her.

"I wanna go to the funeral…But I don't want to go alone."

I stared at her. "You want me to go with you."

She sighed. "I know. It's a lot to ask. And I know you're mad at me, but she's my—_was _my best friend. I understand though—"

"I'll go." I interrupted her.

She stared at me in disbelief. "You will?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

I looked at the clock on the kitchen wall. "Well, goodnight. I'll be out here if you need me—"

"I do…I need you."

We stared at each other a long moment.

"Guess you didn't mean it." She said. "Goodnight."

And with that she walked to my room and shut the door…Leaving me to feel like the biggest piece of shit in the world.

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